A/N: This is a totally random story which my friend made up. I was just the one who wrote it down. Thank you very much! On to the randomness.

Warning: REALLY RANDOM HP/LOTR/POTC CROSSOVER ONESHOT!

Elrond was making his way to the council, trying to avoid crazy teenagers. Since some girls had magically transported to Middle-Earth, Rivendelle has become the noisiest elf-city. He was about to turn around the corner when a brown-haired teen came up to him.

"ELROND, I WANNA HAVE SEX!" She paused, "On the beach. Come on move your body!"

Suddenly, Harry Potter came from nowhere, "LUMOS MAXIMA!" Everything became super bright.

Aragorn came running, "What is going on here?"

A yellow blur ran past everyone and jumped upon his back, "C'MON, HORSEY! YIPPIE CAW-YAY!"

Then, Peter Pettigrew jumped on everyones heads, "DO THE FLAMINGO!" And he did.

"WHO WEAR SHORT SHORTS?" Severus Snape came through the door with really short shorts, "I WEAR SHORT SHORTS!"

"SNAPE YOUR NAKED!" The brown-haired teen said in the same tune.

"I am? I didn't notice." He shrugged, "WHO WEAR SHORT SHORTS?"

Everyone turned to him, "SNAPE WEARS SHORT SHORTS!"

"Muahahahahahaha!" A maniac laughter ran through Elrond's house. A poof could be heard and Voldemort became visible. He tapped a few times with his stepping shoes, "Voldemort, Voldemort. Oooh, Voldi-Voldi-Voldi Voldemort!"

"What did you say?" Gollum asked, grabbing Voldies neck.

"They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!" Legolas shouted

"OUCH! Shuttup, Orlando, you're breaking my ears!" The yellow-haired teen said after she jumped down off Aragorn.

"What in Mordors bane is happening?" Elrond exclaimed. He shrieked as a monkey flew past him. He ran out of the crazyness and into a dark room. The elf sighed in relief and turned on the light.

A pirates nose touched his cheek, "Why's the rum always gone?"

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

He ran out of the room, again, and into his garden.

"I've had enough! Why did I even let these girls live here?" He paced around.

"Are you alright, master?" A big eyed creature asked him.

He frowned at the thing, "What are you?"

"I am a house-elf, sir. Dobby is my name." The so called elf said.

"An elf?" What in the-"

Then out of nowhere, Elizabitch- I mean Elizabeth, showed up, "Yes, the rum is gone!"

Jack Sparrow came walking drunkenly towards her, "But why's the rum gone?"

"That's not good enough!" The brunette shouted and threw an axe, aiming at Lord Elrond. He quickly ducked and the axe hit a tree instead.

Hermione suddenly showed up, "I have traveled through time. If the worlds not going to end, the two teenagers will take over the world! Explosio!" She casted a spell and destroyed Earth. Everyone died and we annoyed the hell outta everyone in heaven.

The end.

…

I warned you. Did you listen? Nooo… Ha! Review please!

Remembah: This was just for fun!