Disclaimer: I do not own Chuck, nor the song that accompanies this fic.
A/N: So, this is a one-shot song fic, but I have a plot I can use for it, but it will stay as a one-shot, depends on what the people want. The song is called "Falling Inside the Black" by the band Skillet. Hope you enjoy!
Falling Inside the Black
Tonight I'm so alone
This sorrow takes ahold
Don't leave me
here so cold
(Never want to be so cold)
He sits on the forsaken beach, no human being in sight. The night is chilly, but he can hardly feel it, it fails to compare to the hurt he is dealt. Staring out into the horizon, he thinks back to when this all started.
"Chuck, I told you to stay in the car!"
"But, Sarah-"
"No buts Chuck. You can't risk your life for mine every time I'm in trouble. This thing between us is going to be the death of you and me."
His ears register the next words with clarity.
"I'm getting a reassignment."
He shivers, not from the cold, but from the memory. The surf crashes against the sand, the sound of the surf soothing him. He leans back and looks at the stars, so beautiful in their dark prison, but they are not as beautiful as the blonde goddess he loves.
Your touch used to be so kind
Your touch used to give me
life
I've waited all this time, I've wasted so much time
The next time he sees her is the day after at her hotel room. He stands outside her door, preparing to give a knock, but the door opens before his hand hits the cold wood.
"Chuck, you shouldn't be here."
"Why Sarah? Why are you doing this?" he desperately asks, trying to make her change her decision.
"Chuck, I can't do my job if I'm worrying about you all the time. What happened yesterday just solidified that. We had a mission and it was failed because you decided to leave the car."
His face drops, as the reassurance of her decision is registered. Tears come to his eyes, but he is able to hold them at bay, at least until he gets home. He feels her hand on his shoulder, but it is far from the warmth he feels spread through his body every time their body is in contact. It is cold and coarse, like an icicle has been plunged into his already broken heart.
"I'm sorry Chuck, but I have to go."
He watches her walk down the hall, no backwards glance. What he doesn't see is the tears streaming down her face as she walks away from the first man she has ever loved. Walking towards her window, he looks towards the front as she walks to her car and she stops for a second, if allowing him to take her in one last time. After the little moment, she continues her walk towards the Porsche and she hops in, leaving Chuck nothing but a memory of the blonde goddess he loves so much.
You were my source of strength
I've traded everything
That I
love for this one thing
(Stranded in the offering)
He looks up at the dank ceiling, memories of the good times with Sarah flitting through his mind. His body feels like its been drained of all its use. His limbs won't move; he is stuck to the bed, wallowing in his sadness. He isn't sure how he's going to cope with the loss of the single most important thing to him in the last decade. Casey tries to break him out of his sadness, but to no avail, he just chooses to stay in his room, looking at the ceiling.
The only thing he can think of is Sarah, all those thoughts drowning out the others. His mind flits back and forth between memories, good, bad, and the neutral. Sarah is the one constant in the spy life that he has anchored himself to. Now it's gone and he feels like he is just a single leaf in a hurricane, being thrown around this way and that.
Everybody who knows him as a friend knows what kind of loss this is to him. After the whole Jill debacle, he took five years to recuperate before he starts dating Sarah, granted it is only a cover, but to both of them sometimes, it is real.
His eyes close, and he drifts into dreams of blonde super spies saving the world with forks and knives. The dreams morph into her death and then they morph into both their bodies lying on the floor. One time, her body even speaks.
It says, "See what you did Chuck, you came after me and we both died. Are you happy now?"
He wakes up in a cold sweat, shivering from the sudden shift in temperature, his body rapidly cooling from the sweat all over his body. He sits up a while, perusing his mind carefully, and he finally makes a decision, allowing him to go back to sleep, this time with dreams of two people together, one blonde and one with brown hair.
The next morning, he finds Casey at his apartment, getting ready for his cover job at the Buy More.
"Casey, set up a teleconference with Beckman. Right now"
Casey notices the emotionless and hard edge to his voice and he quickly tries to defuse the situation.
"What do you want Bartowski? The General doesn't have time whenever you are wallowing in your self-pity. Pull yourself together Bartowski!"
The look he gets right after that is the look of death, eyes glowing with fire, mouth zipped shut in a straight line. With his face void of emotion, the voice is monotone, "Agent Casey, this is not about my self-pity, now connect me to Beckman, NOW!"
The last word is said with a scream, and it is all Casey can do to connect him to Beckman.
Beckman's face appears on the screen and she addresses Chuck, "Mr. Bartowski, what is the meaning of this?"
She notices the change in his demeanor; the normal goofy man is gone, replaced by a man who has lost everything. The words are cold as ice, striking fear into the hearts of both Casey and Beckman.
Voice still monotone, he says, "General Beckman, since Agent Walker decided that her reassignment was because I needed better protection, why not forego replacing a handler, and have me trained as a field agent. The Intersect in the field will be monumental, giving the United States an advantage in the Intelligence Commnuity."
Her eyes bulge at his proposal. An active Intersect in the field would give a great advantage to the United States, giving them the upper hand over terrorist cells all over the world. Without thinking, she makes her decision.
"Mr. Bartowski, your request has been approved. Report to Langley tomorrow to begin your training. Agent Casey, you will be reassigned, your choice of assignments. If there are no other questions, this meeting is over."
When no answer comes, the screen flickers off, a smile playing on the face of Beckman. She now had her weapon in full use. Mr. Bartowski had potential and now he has tapped into it.
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to
the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to
be
Can you hear me
He finishes the Farm in a measly three months, anything he puts his mind to he learns quickly, putting all his effort into it. After finishing the farm so quickly, he is promoted to an Agent, and is immediately assigned to an international mission.
He finds himself in Prague, looking for terrorist thought to be constructing a bomb. Even though his mind will never forget Sarah Walker, he has been able to control his emotions, putting a stoic mask on every time they run rampant in his head.
Later that night after discovering the whereabouts of the terrorist, he infiltrates the building, gun and knives in hand.
He infiltrates the warehouse quite easily, the training at the Farm kicking in for him. He quickly moves through the warehouse, finding nobody. He finally enters the room in the middle, its vast interior making him shrink to the size of an ant. In the middle, he sees an unfinished bomb, a man hovering over it.
He stealthily moves over to the bomb, but he chips his foot on the side of a container, causing the man to turn around and see him. Chuck lunges as he turns around, knife out, slashing the man's throat, blood seeping out of the wound in his neck.
He is horrified at what he has done, but there is no going back. He thinks back to Sarah, those thoughts are the one that fuel his decision to become an Agent. His soul has slipped into the dark side, the silent ending of a life a testimony to the unveiling of his newly darkened heart.
A/N: So, if I get enough requests to extend it, I'll do it. So, R&R if you want me to continue. Your codeword is "Ashley" if you want an extension of the story.