Killian exhales loudly, clenching his jaw, as his fingers tighten on his coffee cup. It was, perhaps, a bad idea - maybe he should get Henry to check out the books and he could spend that time researching in Regina's office with her and Emma, or at Granny's, or quite literally anywhere else –

He shakes out from his nervous thoughts as Emma calls his name, offering him a little smile when he blinks cluelessly at her.

"It'll be fine, Killian."

"I hope so," he replies, his eyes sweeping across her face as he still can't believe that he is well and alive, and Emma forgave him after the stupid deal with the crocodile –

- right, the crocodile.

Emma takes a step towards him, a little smile pulling her lips up as she rests her hands on his shoulder and stands on her toes, pressing her lips against his scruffy cheek.

Killian feels himself blush at the contact and just before he can say something or put his arms around her waist or do anything so to not embarrass himself as some blushing school boy, Emma presses a quick kiss to his lips before her feet are back on the ground, her hands still clutching his shoulders.

He knows the tip of his ears are traitorously red, and that his cheeks are flushed, and the way she's grinning at him, she knows he's blushing.

"See you at lunch," she squeezes his shoulders.

He looks up at her smiling face and smiles back, his gaze landing on the way she's biting her lower lip.

He wants to kiss her. Properly. But it's still pretty new, and he isn't sure if Emma would appreciate being kissed by him in the middle of the street where anyone can see them – their beloved Saviour with the Pirate who trapped some of them in a bloody hat and it's just been hardly a week since Gold left town –

- and right, Gold. Belle.

So he settles to just squeeze her hand as he watches her walk away from him, her hair swishing as she turns back once to wave at him - Killian being proud that his eyes were actually at her eye level then and not further down.

Once Emma is away from his sight, he turns and with a deep exhale, opens the door.

~~xx~~

He doesn't find her anywhere.

There's a half-cup of tea which is still a bit warm sitting on the desk beside the computer, meaning she's definitely been here, but she's nowhere in sight.

So Killian sets out to work.

He grabs all the books his hand and hook can support from the Fairies and Ancient Magical Objects sections, and sets them down on the big desk in the middle of the library.

Killian's half-way through his second book when he hears the clicking of heels, and he figures it's Belle since the only ones wearing those infernal shoes in this town are Belle and Regina.

His eyes are already set at the entry-way near the elevators from where the sound is coming, so when Belle enters, he catches the way she halts when she spots him, her mouth hanging open in a silent question as her eyebrows furrow in confusion. Quickly she schools her features and stalks towards the table, grabbing her teacup and disappearing towards the other side of the library, completing ignoring the leather-clad pirate sitting on the table.

At lunch when he tells Emma of how Belle completely ignored him, she rests her head on his shoulder and interlaces her fingers with his, and it's all the soothing he needs.

(Belle slams the keys of the library at the end of his desk during closing time before she leaves without a word or glance.)

~~xx~~

Three days later, Snow joins him, bringing baby Neal along with her, and some muffins and coffee. He appreciates the company – he knows Emma's mother is still a bit weary of him, and although he's nervous to be here with her alone, he's glad to be spending some time with the woman who gave birth to his love.

He tells her about how the tale between Snow White and the Evil Queen was such an entertaining one that whenever he was allowed to make runs to the Enchanted Forest for Pan, he used to have people fill him in. She, in turn, tells him about how her tutor at her palace had taught her about the nefarious and scoundrel Captain Hook – of how with his charming smile, eloquent words, and dashing good looks (to which Killian blushes), he used to leave with his pocket full of money and a wound inflicted by his hook in the victim's neck.

She's laughing at a recount of his where one of his crew members had fallen into the sea and did not know how to swim, when she leans towards him a bit, "Is Belle here?"

"Uh, aye" he scratches behind his ear, "She usually stays at the back of the library."

"Oh" Snow nods in understanding, and he feels so embarrassed and sorry and weak. If only he had told Emma the truth, or told Belle the truth, none of this would've happened. He could've stopped the fairies and the old man from getting trapped, stopped him from almost dying and breaking his promise to Emma, stopped Belle from being so heartbroken-

"It's not your fault, you know?" Snow says, to which his eyebrow raises involuntarily.

"He had it coming. The fairies…yes you should've told Emma, but with Rumplestilstkin, that's not your fault" she says firmly in a no-nonsense tone and he wonders how is it that in some ways Snow and Emma are so similar despite not having spent that much time together.

"I suppose so." That's the same thing Emma told him as well, along with a lot of hugs and kisses which still makes him smile stupidly just thinking about them.

"Is it okay if I call for Belle? I did bring her a tea and a muffin," Snow asks.

"Of course, m'lady."

"Belle! Belle!" Snow calls out, her eyes fixed at the back of the library.

Soon enough, the tell-tale voice of Belle's heels clinking fill the room and she emerges, a tight smile plastered on her face as she greets Snow.

"I brought you tea and a banana muffin," Snow smiles widely.

"Thank you," Belle smiles back, bending down to caress baby Neal's cheek. She takes a seat opposite them, keeping her eyes towards Snow and Neal.

Killian leaves them to be as he goes looking for more books and deciding to call and check on his Swan.

/

"So Belle," Snow starts after Killian has disappeared, "Hook here is looking how to free the fairies from the sorcerer's hat, is there any book you would recommend?

Belle gulps visibly, and after blinking rapidly a couple of times, asks, "Surely, Regina knows something?"

"Unfortunately, no."

She scans her eyes over the books Killian left on the table, "Why is he doing this?"

"Assuaging his guilt? He feels terrible for what he did and blames himself for it." Snow shrugs.

Belle nods quickly, "I'll bring some of Rump- his magical books from the shop tomorrow."

"Thanks" Snow reaches out and squeezes her hand lightly.

/

"Save me a muffin?" Emma asks.

"Of course, love" Killian smiles as he can hear the smile in her voice. He presses the talking phone closer to his ear, "Anything else you'd like for when I come visit you?"

"No just your handsome self," she teases.

"That should be no problem. We all know how dashingly goo-"

"Oh god, shut up!" he can hear her chuckling and he joins her as well.

"I missed you at lunch," she confesses, making Killian's heart soar as she actuallymissed him, and he bloody well did too as he wishes he could just see her so he could pull her towards him and hug her tight.

"Aye, me too Swan.

"Well, I think Henry's staying with Regina tonight…" she falters as this is still new territory for them. She spent the night with him at Granny's after he'd told her all about the deal with Gold and everything. But nothing much happened. Well, a lothappened – he asked her to stay as it was late and he offered to take the couch. She hopped down on his bed and pulled him beside her, wrapping her arm around his chest as she slowly fell asleep. It's been almost a week to that but even now there's a shyness to their touch, an uncertainty not in the way that she won't reciprocate but just in the awkward stages of a new relationship.

"Perhaps you should stay the night?" he finally gathers the courage to ask.

"I'd love to."

~~xx~~

"Why don't you just talk to her?" Emma asks, pulling her jacket off. Her boots are already beside Killian's near the door, and now her red leather joins his black on the couch.

Killian is sitting on the edge of his bed, sliding his rings off and keeping them on the side table beside his hook, his brace still on and she knows he's still nervous about it – she's only seen his wrist, scars and all, once during that night when he told her everything.

(The only night they also slept together – in the most innocent way).

She sits beside him, taking the last ring off for him and he smiles up at her, "Thanks, love."

Emma smiles at him, keeping her gaze locked with his as she touches his brace. She watches as he swallows, his teeth coming out to bite his lip as Emma starts unlacing the brace. He doesn't stop her, doesn't say anything, just keeps his eyes trained to where her hand is moving against his brace.

Once off, Emma keeps the brace on the table and pulls his wrist to her chest, resting her cheek over the damaged skin as she offers him a smile.

She can tell he's almost holding back tears so with a kiss to the scarred skin, she stands up, "Which side do you want?"

"Doesn't matter, love," he answers, and it doesn't matter to her as well. People who sleep alone don't really have sides.

Emma moves to the side closer to the bathroom, "Um, do you mind if I take my jeans off?"

She watches the way his ears turn pink, "Make yourself comfortable, Swan"

"You should sleep the way you sleep when I'm not here," she tells him as she pops her button open, "Don't tell me you sleep with that pirate coat on."

"I was going to say, I sleep wearing nothing," he winks, "And bloody hell love, I can't sleep with that thing on." When she starts sliding her jeans, he turns away – always the gentleman.

"Oh please – you wore that in Neverland all the freaking time. Even when it was so humid and hot." She throws her jeans to the ground, and sits crossed legged on her side of the bed, his back still to her.

"It wasn't really humid."

"Really?" she waits until he looks back at her, and he finally does when she doesn't continue – his eyes roaming over her legs before they widen once more as his gaze follows her hands disappearing behind her back and underneath her shirt, "It wasn't hot the day we kissed?"

He eyes the way her breasts bounce slightly as they are freed from the flimsy material now in her hand which he imagines is what passes as this realm's undergarment, "You mean when you kissed me."

"Shut up," she hits him with a pillow as she blushes. "Will you take off your clothes and come here!"

"Quite impatient, Swan," he teases, putting the pillow back and getting up. He smirks at her as she makes no move to even pretend that she isn't watching him intently as he undresses. He leaves his boxers on as courtesy but does divest out of his shirt, wanting to feel Emma's skin against his.

She holds the blanket up for him to slip inside, and once he's settled, he offers his arm to her to rest her head on. Her hand goes up to his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath her palm (she does that a lot since she put it back).

It should be awkward – sharing a tiny bed in minimal clothing when they haven't done much, but it isn't.

"Seriously though, why don't you just talk to Belle?"

"She doesn't want to talk to me, Swan. She spends her time at the back of the library and leaves without saying a word.

Emma opens her mouth to protest but he cuts her off, "It's okay, love. I have harmed her a lot; I can't expect her to want to even see me, let alone converse or help."

"She'll forgive you, I know it.

"I do hope so," he presses a kiss to her forehead as she snuggles further into him.

~~xx~~

The next day, Belle is once again nowhere to be seen, but his books have been replaced with some other magic spell books with bookmarks sticking out from theMagical Objects section.

~~xx~~

Killian's content with the bookmarks, more books, glances, nods, and once, even a cup of tea and a piece of cake left for him on his table. It's more than he could hope for from Belle and he doesn't want to upset her by trying to talk to her.

Until one day.

He's looking through his papers, trying to find a specific note when he hears her voice, "You should make a board you know."

Killian's head snaps up and his mouth falls open. He's half wanting to turn around and check if there's someone standing behind him to whom Belle uttered the words to but then she's raising her eyebrow at him and almost looking at him comically.

"Apologies, love, what did you say?"

"I said you should make a board." She repeats, taking a few steps forward.

"A board?"

"I've seen it on TV. They make a board with all the evidence up on it so it's easier to connect things."

Killian scratches behind his ear, "Like a military plan?"

"Kind of," she almost smiles.

"Aye…I suppose that would be useful…."

"I have a board, hold on a second," she tells him, disappearing once again towards the back of the library.

Killian stares after her, still confused as to whether he dreamt this. Belle French-Gold was actually talking to him!

(She helps him set the board up.)

~~xx~~

The next day when Killian comes in, he brings along a tea for her on Emma's insistence. He's fighting a smile back as he remembers the quite passionate way Emma kissed him goodbye outside the library, the taste of cinnamon still on her lips, his fingers still feeling the silk of her hair, when Belle enters with a bunch of boxes.

Killian quickly approaches her, taking some of the boxes from her, "What is this, lass?"

"Yarn and pins for the board" she tells him, "Good morning, by the way"

"Aye, good morning" he smiles. Belle was after all a royal and if he knows one thing about these royal types is that they're bloody serious about their manners.

She keeps the boxes on the table, babbling on about how to set the board up while cutting pieces of yarn and handing them to him.

This time she leaves with a little smile to him.

~~xx~~

It's easy with Belle. She's nice enough to him (nicer than most people), and doesn't talk much – keeps the talk limited to the task at hand. She doesn't mention Rumple or what he did, or what even Killian did. Just helps him post pictures up of the fairies and bookmarks pages and passages for him to look over.

But it bugs him. He doesn't know what it is, his life is pretty much perfect right now – him and Emma are slowly but surely baring each other of their pasts. Just the night before she stayed with him again and told him about what transpired with Baelfire all those years ago and so did he. She told him about Neal in a way he never knew; so much different from the barely fifteen year old boy he had wronged. He told her about Liam, Milah, Rumple, and his hand. How his thirst for revenge had been born and how it has now mostly disappeared, mostly thanks to her.

Henry is also taking a liking to him, asking him about his adventures and teaching him about the amenities about this realm. David is still slightly upright with him, and Emma rolls her eyes and tells him he's just being overprotective but the Prince invites him out to drinks and smiles at his jokes and he's sure he has won him over too.

Regina…well it is as good as it can be with Regina.

It's all good and happy, yet he feels something lacking and he realizes quickly it only feels so when he's in the library around Belle, or that one night she joined them all for dinner at Granny's.

Surprisingly, it's Regina who mentions it to him. It's one of her passing comments really, as she and Henry meet him and Emma for dinner one night – "I'm surprised the bookworm forgave you so quickly. She showed me her teeth before she agreed to help me."

And that's when it hits him. Forgiveness. It's what he needs and its what Belle deserves.

At night, once he's realizes its come to be 3 a.m. as Emma and him lost track of time while talking from his talking device, both unwilling to cut the call and fall asleep, that he decides he'll ask Belle for forgiveness.

~~xx~~

"She'll forgive you," Emma says firmly, wrapping her arms around him, her cheek pressed to his chest. He brings his arms around her, making sure to face the pointed edge of his hook and the tray with his and Belle's tea away from her hair, his chin digging on the top of her head.

"Your faith in me never ceases to amaze me, Swan."

He feels her snort against his chest, "I guess my parents and Henry are rubbing off on me."

She pulls back, her arms now sliding to his waist and pulling him tight against her, Killian thinking of the goriest things his mind can conjure up to not cause any sort of embarrassment (well, knowing Swan, she would just tease him mercilessly).

"See you later, tiger." She whispers against his lips.

He answers with pulling her tighter towards him and locking their lips together.

/

Belle offers him a little smile once he enters, accepting her tea from him.

"I found this professor at Oxford who specializes in languages. I'm thinking of e-mailing him the quote we found?" she says, sitting in her designated seat beside him.

He sits down too, "Sounds lovely. But what exactly is an e-mail, love?

She chuckles, "Right. It's a message which is sent using the internet. So like how we used birds in the Enchanted Forest? Except it's much faster and easier."

Killian hums, trying to smile at her assistance but it comes off fake and the way she raises an eyebrow, he knows she noticed it too.

"Is everything alright?" She asks.

"I needed to talk to you," he trails off, and she nods in encouragement.

"I don't do this very often, lass," his hand comes to scratch behind his ear, the back of his neck heating up "But it's necessary and important…"

"What is it?" she smiles, looking at him expectantly.

He looks down at the ground, "I wanted to – I need to apologize Belle," he breathes out, "What I did to you, not just now but since I met you in Regina's castle…using you and harming you just to get to the crocodile…I'm so…I'm so very very sorry."

Killian looks back up and there are tears forming in her eyes, "I very truly apologize for everything I've ever done to you. I am, was a villain and all my thoughts were filtered with this need, this intoxication of needing revenge but that doesn't justify or excuse what I did to you. You didn't deserve any of that and yet you're still here helping me, I can't even fathom why…"

"I'm so sor-" he stops as he feels her hand sliding over his, her eyes misty with unshed tears and he knows his are too, the regret he feels over his actions overwhelming him.

"Thank you," she whispers, her voice croaky, "I appreciate it, although I don't really need it. I've always thought actions spoke louder than words."

"Aye," he smiles. He wishes to put his other hand on top of hers and squeeze it, the way Emma does it to him sometimes, but once again the realization of his other hand being an attachment comes to him. And he won't touch her with that thing – the one he used to slap her unconscious the first time he encountered her.

So he simply just smiles brightly, hoping his smile can convey his gratefulness. And it does – she smiles back and after a few moments, withdraws her hand and takes a deep breath.

"I'm going to go e-mail the professor," she tells him as she stands, wiping at her eyes.

"Aye."

He gives her a few moments alone, knowing his apology probably did bring about difficult memories for her. Of his assault on hers and of the croc- Rumplestilstkin.

She leaves with a smile and a "Goodnight, Killian."

Emma asks him the reason for his wide grin before she kisses it off.

~~xx~~

Two days later, once he returns from lunch with David, Belle is nowhere to be found in the library. He calls her out once, but is met with silence. He goes to the back of the library where she used to stay when she was ignoring him and what he finds there, makes his heart clench.

Belle is sitting on the floor, a bunch of pictures scattered on the floor of her and Rumple. She's crying; her breath hitching with her sobs and her eyes are red and bleary, her mascara smeared to her cheek.

He sits down beside her and puts a hand on her shoulder, patting it lightly, "Love?"

She hums, wiping her tears away. He keeps a soothing caress on her back, knowing all too well what a broken heart feels like.

He twitches just by thinking the words he wants to say to her, but they are true and she's upset so being a good friend – if that is what they even are? – he tells her, "As big of a bastard that he was, he did love you."

She looks up at him, surprise evident on her face.

"He did love you. Very much so," he repeats.

"I know. But he loved power more," she breathes and slumps back, resting her head to the wall.

She looks so small and defeated, and his heart breaks for her.

He reaches into his pocket to get his flask, a solution to a lot of problems, well before -

"Emma told me rum is your solution to everything," Belle snorts.

He grins, putting the flask back, "Would you like me to fetch you a tea?"

"Could you please?" she whispers and he's up in a moment.

"There are not a lot of things Captain Hook wouldn't do for his friends" he blurts out and hesitates at the implication. Friends? Are they…

Her bright smile answers his question.

~~xx~~

As Belle was leaving, her smile a bit forced as the sadness was still lingering, Killian offers her to join him and Emma for dinner. And no his girlfriend as she teases him, won't mind.

He gets a text from Emma about doing a rain check on dinner since she and Regina found something and wanted to do some more research. He tells Belle about the cancelled plans, and instead of walking to Granny's, they find themselves walking towards the Rabbit Hole.

Turns out Belle knows most of the people there, something about losing her memory, and Regina, and a fake personality. Lacey?

The bartender slips them both glasses of rum but Belle asks him to leave the bottle, earning a raised eyebrow from the bartender but an understanding nod from Killian. Drowning oneself in alcohol until the pain numbs is something he is quite familiar with.

She's already on her fifth glass of rum when Killian's nursing his second one, both of them keeping silent mostly.

"I thought pirates were famous for drinking," she teases him, pointing towards his glass.

"Trust me, love, they are."

"I don't see so."

"Is that a challenge?" he quirks an eyebrow up and her face transforms into a grin and a challenging streak gleams in her eye.

"Why, yes of course, good Sir," she tilts her glass and gulps it all down, "Why don't you teach me one of your pirate games?"

"You're bloody on."

~~xx~~

"Bloody hell, lass, you're gonna fall!" Killian yells, bringing an arm around Belle's shoulder to straighten her as she just giggles and falters some more. He's pretty drunk too, but not as much as Belle.

He once again shakes his head at her choice of shoes. She could kill a man with them.

"Excuse me, I can hold my alcohol, okay," she suddenly pushes his arm away and runs a few steps away from him, "I've had my share of drunken nights in taverns."

"As you told me so," he quickly runs to her once she almost trips on her own feet. He did learn quite a bit about the lass – how she traded her freedom for her kingdom (good form – he's impressed), how she saved Robin Hood's life, met and drank with Leroy in a bar (poor lass), faced a Yaoguai bravely along with Mulan who ended up being Prince Philip.

It's quite an impressive life she's lived, an adventurer at heart, just like him. They could've been good friends if they'd met in the Enchanted Forest under different circumstances. Nevertheless, he told her all about New York City and promised to give her all the books he has of the different lands he's been to. The Jolly Roger lingers through his thoughts, knowing that if he'd still had his ship he could've showed her some of the souvenirs he has from all these lands, but it lies with the bastard Blackbeard now. He doesn't regret it though – Emma found her home and that's all he ever wanted.

"Hey, you two!" A woman yells, making them both turn around.

Emma's there, her hands around her hips and a scowl on her face which soon turns into amusement as Killian repeats her name.

"Swan. Belle, Emma's here, Emma, my love!"

Emma grins and walks towards them, "The bartender called. He was worried you'd two fall in a ditch."

"Awwwww. How sweet of you and him," Belle murmurs, clutching onto Killian's arm.

"I'll walk you home, Belle," she helps her, and moves between Killian and her, offering one arm to both of them and they loop their arms with her, walking together.

Emma has a hard time containing her laughter as the two drunk idiots keep giggling and talking nonsense.

~~xx~~

Belle surprises them both by pulling them in a group hug, whispering a soft "thank you" to them both as she stumbles inside, her heels in her hand. Emma tells Killian to wait outside as she goes inside and makes sure Belle's in her bed. Knowing that she's alone, Emma leaves a glass of water on her bedside table, magically locking the door when she leaves.

Killian's leaning against Gold's car when she returns outside, his tongue peeking out slightly and his hand resting on his belt, his swagger reminding her of the day he was waiting outside her door in New York.

"Swan," he breathes once she walks to him. He leans off of the car and envelops her in a hug, his nose nuzzling her neck as his beard leaves delicious burns where it scrapes against her neck, and for a moment Emma wonders how those beard burns would feel on her inner thighs.

Shaking herself out of her lusty thoughts, she hugs him back tightly, allowing him to sway her. This affection, the easy affection, is still a bit foreign to her and doesn't come so naturally but with him she wants this, craves this really.

"You're so beautiful and lovely, Emma," he whispers in her ear, biting lightly at her earlobe then, "Did you know?"

Emma smirks, "If you want me to tell you you're handsome then tough luck, buddy."

His chest vibrates with his chuckle, Emma sensing it against her own as she slowly separates from him, "Let's take you home?"

"Hmph, come here, love," he pulls her in for another hug, Emma just laughing as he keeps whispering her sweet nothings as she tries to maneuver them to Granny's.

/

The next morning when Killian wakes up with Emma in his arms, and a message from Belle saying – Don't you dare show me your face all day today, pirate. I can't believe I drank THAT much because of your stupid pirate games – followed with about 20 pictures of them both with red-rimmed eyes and goofy expressions on their faces, that he believes his life is good.

(He does go to Belle's house later with Emma and Henry to bring her dinner.)

(She only smacks him behind his head once before she welcomes them all inside.)

~~~xxx~~~

Reviews are always appreciated :)