A/N: I can't really explain myself. Somehow I got the idea to have a one shot where all of Jim and Spock's dialogue come from Lady GaGa songs. Then it occurred to me that she's a pro gay rights kinda gal and this past Sunday WAS National Coming Out Day in America, so why not have them use GaGa lyrics to come out to the crew? Here is the result. Enjoy.

Kirk looked around the bridge. Sulu and Chekov were at the helm, Uhura was busy fussing over frequencies, and Spock was returning Kirk's gaze with a knowing look. Kirk had just called McCoy and Scotty to the bridge, and once they arrived it would be time.

Kirk and Spock had finally decided to confirm that the rumors of their romantic involvement were , in fact, true. They were very true. They were especially true after chess matches and they were true twice on Mondays. The ship's gossip mill had been abuzz for quite some time and the pair had initially decided to ignore the chatter. However, as the rumors grew exponentially in craziness (Mandy in engineering had it on "good authority" that Kirk and Spock were both changing their name to Spirk)they decided it was time to make their relationship known and thus taking the rumor-inspiring mystery out of the whole affair.

"Jim, what is this all about? What announcement do you need to make?" McCoy asked, exiting the turbo lift with Scotty.

Jim stood as Spock joined him by his chair. Everyone turned their attention to the dynamic duo. Jim cleared his throat.

"I got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid," he started.

The crew looked around at each other, dumbfounded by the captain's statement.

"What does that mean?" Uhura asked.

Jim looked to Spock, then turned back to his captivated audience.

"It's complicated…"

Kirk and Spock had discussed what they were going to say many times, but his words were now failing him.

"I'm on a mission and it involves some heavy touching," Spock supplied, while taking Jim's hand.

"Woah, what the hell? It's true? You guys are….a thing?" Sulu questioned with surprise.

McCoy rolled his eyes.

"Oh please! That is the least surprising thing I've ever heard. My quarters are near yours, Jim. I can hear you guys every night!"

"When it's love, if it's not rough it isn't fun!" Jim replied, defending his nocturnal activities.

"So….you're not just fooling around? This is love?" Uhura questioned, clearly suspicious of this newly turned, monogamous leaf of Jim's.

Jim turned to Spock to declare his love.

"Loving you is like cherry pie!"

Spock's eyes warmed as he returned the sentiment.

"I wanna take a ride on your disco stick."

Jim swooned at Spock's lovely words.

"I know you all thought it was pretty obvious, but I'm really surprised! I never thought you'd settle down, Captain," said Sulu.

"I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning," Jim answered.

……..

"Vhat the hell does that mean?" Chekov asked. He never got an answer.

"Well I'm cool with it," McCoy said. Everyone nodded in agreement. "Just make sure you're using protection on those disco sticks."

"I am educated in sex," Spock said to the doctor, as if to tell him "duh!"

"This is being very good news!" Chekov declared. "Let's celebrate with a game of Russian Roulette!"

"That's kind of an odd way to celebrate good news….." Sulu stated.

"Why the hell not?" Uhura exclaimed. "Do you have a gun on you, Chekov?"

Chekov shook his head.

"Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun," Kirk said to the young ensign.

Uhura shrugged, but then quickly turned to Spock with a look of question.

"Now that you two are seriously involved, are you going to tell your father? Does he know you're interested in men?"

"No. He can't read my poker face," Spock answered.

"Well that's probably the next thing you'd want to do," McCoy offered.

Jim and Spock nodded, and had Chekov set a course for Vulcan II.

"Was there anything else you needed to tell us, Captain?" Uhura asked.

Jim and Spock both turned thoughtful as they tried to think of anything they had left out.

"I can't remember, but it's alright," Jim answered.

"JUST DANCE! It's gonna be okay!"

Jim's command for the crew to dance was accompanied by a mirror-ball and strobe lights and dance song with a dizzying tempo.

"LET'S HAVE SOME FUN! THIS BEAT IS SICK!" Spock yelled over the volume of the music. The dancing crew obliged his request and much fun was had because the beat was, indeed, sick.

DONE! Did you catch all the Lady Gaga? She has the craziest lyrics, that girl. I just had to use 'em!