Cookies and Water

Ed and Al were walking back down the hill as the sunset began to sink, both feeling bored and tired.

"Man, I think my sweet tooth's acting up," Ed mumbled. "I hope Pinako's got somethin' sugary back at her place." His mouth watered just thinking about it.

"Yeah, I agree with you two, Brother," Al said, and they picked up their pace.

At Winry's house…

Winry twiddled with a wrench in her hand, bored as well, as she was searching for Ed and Al. When she couldn't find them around the house she entered the kitchen, spotting a note on the table. It was from Pinako, which said: "Went to get groceries."

"And left without telling me?" Winry complained to herself. "Who knows what kind of automail parts I could've found along the way…"

"Hey, Winry! We're home!" Ed's loud voice cut off her thoughts, and she turned to the front door.

"Hey, guys. You're back!" Winry greeted ever-cheerful, smiling at both boys.

"Yeah, we got bored."

Al and Ed slouched lazily on the couch, then looked at Winry as if she had something on her face.

"What are you two staring at?" she asked, darkly staring them down.

Ed smiled wryly. "Uh, n-nothing, Winry. Do you got anything to end our boredom?"

Winry thought for a quick moment, then pulled out her wrench entusiastically as if it were a mike, and said, "In fact I do! I'm gonna make you guys something!"

"Like what?" Al immediately asked,

"It's not gonna be made with that, is it?" Ed asked, pointing to her metal death stick called a wrench.

Winry laughed loudly. "Of course not, silly! How can you make cookies with a wrench?"

Ed cringed, shouting as if the world was ending tomorrow. "Did you just say the 'c' word?!"

Winry shifted her expression. "What you don't like cook-."

"Ahh! Don't say it again!" Ed wailed.

"But, Brother," Al said, "When we were little you used to love eating cook-."

"Ah, forget it! I'm goin' upstairs!" Covering his ears and saying 'la-la-la' to Al and Winry's remarks after, he went upstairs.

"What's his problem? Why is he acting so immature?" Winry implied to Al.

Al looked at her like it was obvious, and it was. "I can give you the only reason why, Winry."

"What's that?" she asked, looking at him.

Al took a deep breath for a moment, then gestured for Winry to come closer, then he whispered in her ear, "Milk."

"MILK?!" Winry shouted loudly.

Al tried to shush her, but it was too late.

Ed shouted from the top of the stairs, "Did I just hear the 'M' WORD!?"

Al and Winry sighed annoyingly.

So Al helped Winry get the cookies ready and they'd been in the oven for about five minutes, They sat on the couch.

"Thanks for helping me bake the cookies, Al," Winry began.

Al grinned sheepishly. "No problem, Winry."

"I don't know how I'd get Ed to have helped me. He's such a wuss sometimes."

"He's like that." He laughed a little.

Suddenly, Winry inched a wide, evil grin on her face. Al winced uncomfortably.

"Winry, I know what face…" he said frightfully. "What are you planning?"

Winry twiddled her fingers together like a mad scientist. "I think I found a way to get Ed to drink his milk."

Al's timid expression turned to a smile. "You do?"

"Yes, and you're gonna help me."

She told him her Plan A and Plan B. Al nodded as he said, "I like the sound of that."

Al went upstairs to where Ed was. Step one of Plan A: Get Ed downstairs.

"Brother?" Al called, pushing the door open slightly.

Ed turned from his window-watching, smiling at the sight of his brother. "Oh, hey, Al."

"Winry wants you downstairs."

Ed cringed nervously as he heard Winry's name. He turned slowly to Al, his eyes narrowed suspisiously. "She doesn't want me anywhere near drinking that spinach, does she?"

Al shook his head nervously. "Just go downstairs, ok?"

"Fine…" he grumbled, following his brother down.

When they reached the kitchen, Winry smiled as she set a warm plate of cookies on the table. "There! Cookies fresh from the oven!" She smiled as Ed didn't go berserk when she said 'cookies.'

"Here goes…" Ed chanced as he took a big bite out of one of the cookies. He waited a moment, finding the taste, and shouted, "Oh, man! These are good!"

Al and Winry glanced at each other evily. "Now for Step Two…" Winry said determinably. "Getting the milk on the table."

With Ed's attention fixed up in the heavely taste of the cookies, Winry dove in a cabinent for glasses, filling them with milk. She set three on the center of the table.

Wait, three?

One more than two?

Was she sure to just put two?

Not three?

Absolutely?

Positively?

Not two?

Definitely not three?

Nope. Three...

"I hope that third one is for Al's imaginary friend…" Ed mumbled stubbornly, narrowly eyeing Winry from across the table.

"Hey!" Al wailed defensively. "I never had an imaginary friend!"

"You did too! And his name was Poppy!" He yelled to his brother on the left side. "When you were little, whenever you got mad at me, you cry: 'Poppy, Brother was mean to me!' You finally stopped that after you were six!"

"How the heck was I supposed to remember?" Al yelled back.

Winry slapped her palms against the table. "All right, you two, cut it out," she snapped before either could say more.

The two growled and crossed their arms, looking away from each other.

"Now, Ed," Winry continued, "That milk is for Y-O-U,"

He poked an eye open, looking warily at her. "You might as well make me drink out of the sewer…"

"Edward…" she tested through gritted teeth, her eyes narrowing.

Ed kept his eyes on Winry, taking his glass and headed to the sink. He tipped his glass just slightly bit Winry grumbled angrily:

"You'd better not pour that out…"

Ed muttered hopelessly, 'Why not? It'll just go in the sewer where it belongs..."

"Edward…" she said in the same way, the same expression.

"Fine, fine."

Ed opened the cabinent with the glasses and went to the faucet, filling the empty glass with water. And why? Because it was better than milk (his opinion)! He sat back down stubbornly, pushing the third glass of milk aside and slamming his new one down in its place.

"Cookies and water." Al and Winry said together, their emotion completely faded as they stared at Ed awkwardly.

"Yeah, cookies and water. Has a nice ring to it," Ed persisted, taking a sip of the cold, pale drink and wiping the crumbs from his mouth.

"Come on, Brother...You do have to admit that's kinda weird," Al said.

"You're point?" Ed grumbled, giving his brother a dagger-eyed expression.

"You're missing out on all the fun," Winry started off, providing a smile that got Ed's attention.

Step three: Covinving Ed that milk can be fun.

"What fun?" Ed asked, the softness evaporating from his voice under his gritted teeth.

"Take a cookie," she said, doing so, "and dip it in the milk." She did so, then bit into the partially dampened cookie. "It's even better if the cookie is warm!"

"How do you do that?" Ed asked and sighed through his nose.

"You just use your hands and-."

"No…I'd know how to dip a cookie into a cup full of crap," he said, ignoring Winry's agitated expression, "but I mean, how does that even taste good is what I'm asking."

"It just does," Al answered for Winry.

"Oh, it does, huh…" Ed heaved, then concluded, "I still don't see the fun in it."

"Well," Winry retried, "you can make the cookie float in there."

"Isn't that a little childish?" Ed demanded.

Winry decided to work on another building. "Face it, Ed; without milk, there wouldn't be things like cheese, butter, nor ice cream!"

"I'm not exactly fond of those either, Winry…"

"Without milk, there would be no stew!"

"So what? Even if it didn't have milk, I'd still like it!"

"But what if it didn't? What if it had water?"

"I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be any difference!"

Winry just gave him a showdown glare, not knowing how else to speak.

In that sense, Ed decided independently, "Screw it, I'm going upstairs." He took one more big cookie and headed off. He yawned loudly. "I'm tired anyway."

"Hey, I wanted that big cookie…" Al whined.

"Oh, shut up!" Ed complained.

After hearing the very faint close of the door from upstairs, Al looked at Winry cautiously and asked, "What now, Winry?"

She smiled creepily. "Time for Plan B…" She turned to Al. "How does your brother sleep, again?"

During the middle of the night around 3:00 A.M., Winry woke Al quietly, and Winry crept down to the kitchen. Al made sure Ed was still asleep (don't worry…he's passed out!) and Winry told him to make sure his mouth was wide open and, in sense of heavy sleeping, it was. As Winry slowly inched the door open, Al turned to her and the two couldn't stop numerously holding back their snickering. Plan B had only one step: Chug milk down Ed's open mouth.

Winry leaned closer to Ed until she was just about at his face, then tilted the cup high above his head and down his throat like a baby bird. Sure enough, Ed must've realized a strange taste filling his mouth and shot his eyes open.

"Pfffffftt! …Pahh!" Ed spewed the milk out and was sliding his hand down his tongue to get rid of the taste.

Winry had only poured a little bit into his mouth but it was enough to bring out the gagging. She and Al immediately started laughing. Ed looked around through the dark, leaned over his bedside to turn the light on, and saw Al and Winry laughing their heads off on the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL!!" Ed shouted displeased.

That wasn't enough; Al and Winry just laughed even louder. They still laughed even as Ed got up stubbornly, wiping the partially coughed-up milk off his shirt.

In the end, Ed still didn't find milk tasty, amusing, or fun. The only fun in it was reaching to the glass Winry made him chug less than a few parts of a cup of, taking it downstairs and pouring it out in the sink.

"Damn milk…" he murmured, watching the white drink mix with the pale one as it coasted down the drain.

Turning to go upstairs, he stopped when he heard Winry:

"ED, DID YOU POUR THAT MILK OUT?!"

The End!

My first FMA oneshot, feel free to review and enjoy. Please no critiques.