A/N: Thank you guys for being so patient with me and this story. I always get really super nervous when I start a new piece because I don't know if people are going to like it or hate it but finally here it is! It took me a long time to start this story but I finally managed to do it! So this story won by an overwhelming majority over at the JoLu board and therefore, this is my newest creation! I've also made a trailer for this story, which you can find on my profile :) Happy reading and don't forget to review!!

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time?

I let you go
I let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why?
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow…

"Broken Vow" – Josh Groban

Prologue

He was exactly where he knew he should've been from the beginning.

But not where he wanted to be.

He knew that he was bad for her. Everyone had told him that from the beginning and he had even seen it up close but he didn't care. He was selfish. He thought that he knew better. He ignored everyone who told him that he would ruin her because he didn't care what people thought. He took her and he loved her. He loved her with everything that he had inside of him and more.

And he was happy.

Foolish, he corrected himself. He was foolish to believe that he could be the man that she deserved. He was foolish to believe that he could love her without consequences. He was foolish to believe that he would never hurt her. He threw back the covers and stumbled out of bed. He didn't even bother to look at the clock because time had ceased to matter when he left her behind. He flicked on the light in his bathroom and he sighed heavily as he looked at his face in the mirror. His eyes were sunken in, as if he hadn't slept a wink in years, and bloodshot red. His cheeks were covered in rough stubble in the dark brown that matched his hair, which hadn't been washed in days. He leaned over the sink, letting the marble cool his skin, and he shut his eyes so tightly that he thought his temple would burst. He didn't think that it would hurt this much. His heart had broken, shattered even, when he stepped onto that plane two years ago but the shards that were left inside of him still ached for her after all this time. He opened his eyes and watched as the same tears that he had cried yesterday and many days before slipped down his face.

He was a fool to believe that he knew better.

He remembered standing in one of the many bedrooms on the Quartermaine mansion, fixing his tie for the fourth time, and grinning from ear to ear. His entire appearance had to be perfect because they were going to remember this day for the rest of their lives.

"John?"

Johnny Zacchara, finally getting his tie perfect, turned around towards the direction of the voice. Nikolas Cassadine, his future brother-in-law, stood before him. He too was dressed in a suit, one that was probably custom-made for him, and had his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Nikolas… what can I do for you?" Johnny asked, too deliriously happy to notice the serious expression on Nikolas' face.

"Don't marry Lulu…" Nikolas said flatly.

Those three words knocked the wind out of his chest. He turned around to face the older man and his gaze made the hairs on the back of Johnny's neck stand up straight. Nikolas had been the only person relatively on their side. He still didn't like Johnny and everything that he stood for but he was more accepting that his sister had chosen him.

"Excuse me?" Johnny asked and Nikolas closed the door behind him.

"Don't marry my sister today…" Nikolas said, edging closer to Johnny.

"This has to be a joke, right?" Johnny asked, searching for any sign that he was kidding.

"I don't doubt that my sister loves you… and that you love her… but the fact remains that you're still lying to her about your involvement in Michael Corinthos' shooting… how long do you think it'll be until the truth comes out? Do you really think that she'll ever forgive you?" Nikolas asked.

And that's when he knew that he had been so wrong. As quick as a snap of the fingers, he had woken up out of a beautiful daydream where they could've been happy. It had been a glorious dream but that was all it was, fleeting and wispy as a cloud on a windy day. Johnny shook his head and looked back in the mirror, trying to shake the images of his past away. He turned on the sink, letting the cool water flow into his hands, and he splashed water onto his face. He remembered how heavy the pen that Nikolas gave him to write with felt in his fingertips. He could remember how every stroke of the pen felt like a razor slashing across his chest. He remembered how he felt like he wanted to die as he handed the letter, saying goodbye to the only woman that he had ever loved, to Nikolas to give to his sister, essentially shattering her entire world. He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes again.

"Get a grip on yourself, Zacchara…" he muttered to himself.

Perhaps he would sleep better now that he had emptied all of the emotion that he had stored up today. Days were easier to get through. Running the Italian operations of the Zacchara Empire took his mind off things until he was left alone with his thoughts at home. However, nights were unbearable. The loneliness kept him awake while his thoughts tortured him throughout the night. Night after night, he would reach for the one that he knew wasn't beside him and every time he didn't feel her, his heart broke all over again. He pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead and tried to choke back the hard sob that was building in his chest. Maybe for one night he would just be too tired to pay his thoughts any mind. Turning off the light, he made his way back to his bedroom in the Zacchara villa and he slid back underneath the covers. He cradled his pillow close to his chest and slowly drifted off to a much desired sleep.

The dress was staring at her.

Still pristine and perfect as the day that she wore it.

She had been so idealistic and so hopeful on that day. Golden curls pinned up into a neat bun with a matching white flower tucked behind her ear. White flowers with splashes of pale yellow in her bouquet and with her mother's pearls around her neck and the engagement ring that belonged to his grandmother resting on her finger, ready to walk down the aisle towards the man that she was going to spend the rest of her life with.

And she was so happy.

Naïve, she corrected herself. She was naïve to believe that fairytales existed outside of the books that her mother used to read to her when she was a little girl. She was naïve because she refused to believe everything that people said about that man that she was supposed to marry that day. She ignored the warnings and dismissed the good advice because she thought that she knew better. She thought that he was different but he wasn't because he left just like everyone else did. She pulled the dress out of her closet, admiring it in the dim light. She unzipped the clear garment bag and put her fingertips on the silky material. She let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes. She couldn't remember why she still had it. The last memory that she had of that dress was Carly taking it off her as she stood in a daze in her bedroom at the Quartermaine mansion.

But it was a beautiful dress… and she didn't have the heart to throw it away.

No matter how bad the memories were.

She remembered standing in front of her mirror in her old bedroom in the Quartermaine mansion, taking in her appearance. She could hear the music that was outside in the garden where she was going to be married in less than a half an hour and she could hear everyone who was invited chatting excitedly about the pending nuptials. Her hands were idly resting at her side, fingertips touching the intricate beading on her dress. Her heart was beating so fast that she thought it might just jump out of her chest from the anticipation.

"Lulu…"

She turned around towards the direction of the voice and her eyes fell to her older brother Nikolas. She smiled warmly and picked up the bottom of her dress in order to embrace him but he didn't return her affectionate gesture. His countenance was solemn and in his hand was a thin envelope. She immediately felt ice run through her veins and she knew something was wrong.

"I'm sorry…" Nikolas said as he handed her the unsealed envelope.

Her hands began to tremble as she took the piece of paper in her hand, noticing the familiar handwriting. The letter was brief and cutting, barely long enough to be considered a paragraph. She didn't even remember feeling her knees hit the floor as her legs gave out beneath her. She couldn't stand, breathe, speak, or live anymore because he was gone and he was never coming back. She held the piece of ivory stationary to her chest as she curled up into a ball on the floor of her bedroom, unable to comprehend her life without this man.

"Lulu… maybe this is for the best…" Nikolas started.

"How? How can it be for the best if he's not here?" Lulu cried.

"Oh, Lulu…" he sighed.

"We're—we're supposed to be getting married! He promised—he promised me that we would be together!" she wailed.

She felt Nikolas' arms wrap around her but and she began to shake all over. Nikolas' kind and reassuring words did nothing to soothe her. Knowing that the arms that enveloped her did not belong to the man that she loved, she began sobbing uncontrollably, unraveling at the seams. She cried out his name over and over as Nikolas held her against his black blazer.

"Johnny!!" she sobbed.

Lulu shook her head as she allowed her memories to dissipate back into the past, where they belonged. She pressed the palm of her hand to her temple and sighed. Why she allowed herself to dredge up such painful memories was beyond her. She zipped up the garment bag and folded it, silently cursing the moment that she pulled the offending dress out. She never wanted to think about him or the misery that he brought her on that day ever again. She huffed and quickly shoved the bag into the last box. She had to get back to packing up the rest of this closet. She was finally moving out of this apartment.

Moving out and moving on.

Her heart skipped when she heard the horn of her fiancé's car sound outside. She quickly went to the window and saw him climbing out of his car. She smiled and waved to him as he looked up at her and he waved right back. He immediately picked up the boxes that were in the doorway and began loading them into his car. Looking down at the new ring that was on her left hand, Lulu exhaled softly as the diamond sparkled in the light. She felt herself force a smile when she looked at the spectacular engagement ring that rivaled those of Manhattan socialites and Hollywood starlets that was now hers. In a few short months, she would be Mrs. Dillon Quartermaine. She should've felt like singing and dancing when she woke up every morning but all she got was a sinking feeling. Her gaze snapped over to the garment bag and she quickly shook her head. No, this time would be different. This time she would have her happy ending instead of despair. Perhaps she would be more excited about the marriage and the subsequent last name change as the date neared. She walked back over to her boxes and buried that garment bag underneath piles and piles of other clothes. Once the box was full, she sealed it up with masking tape.

"There…" she sighed.

The last remnant of Johnny Zacchara was now out of sight and out of mind.

Johnny set the palms of his hands on the balcony and sighed deeply. Looking at the gardens always calmed him. He remembered coming here when he was a little boy with his parents and with Claudia. He remembered how he and Claudia would play tag in the gardens as their father and his mother would watch from the terrace, laughing. It was the only time he felt normal.

"This house brings back a lot of memories…"

Johnny turned around to see Claudia standing before him, leaning against the doorway and a smirk on her face. She outstretched her arms towards her brother and when he did not eagerly meet her, she went to him and embraced her little brother. He hadn't seen Claudia in two years, shortly after he had left Port Charles.

He remembered the visit well.

He had locked himself up in the villa with a few bottles of grappa, trying to dull the pain of leaving Lulu behind. He could barely hold himself upright from all of the alcohol that he had consumed over the past two days. He didn't even remember hearing her walk into the villa. He just felt someone take the bottle that he was nursing out of his hand and he groaned.

"Drinking yourself into oblivion won't make you feel any better…" Claudia said.

"Mind your own business…" Johnny grumbled.

"You are my business, John… and I don't even understand what the hell happened… just last week you were ecstatic about finally marrying Lulu and then you bail on her and the wedding!" she cried.

His heart clenched upon hearing his abandoned fiancée's name and he wanted to climb into that bottle of grappa that Claudia was holding and drown himself in it. He managed to rise to his feet and to stumble over to the liquor cart but Claudia's hand grabbed his arm, trying to pull him back. Johnny yelled as ripped his arm from her grasp.

"Leave me the hell alone, Claudia! Why did you even come?" he cried.

"Because I love you, John! Because two days ago, my brother ran away from the life that he's always wanted with the woman that he loves! I want to help you, John…" she said.

Johnny buried his face into his hands and broke in front of his sister. He hadn't cried so hard since he was a little boy. Claudia held him in her arms as they both sunk down to the floor. He felt like dying on the inside because without Lulu, there was nothing left inside of him that was worth carrying on for.

"How—How is she?" he asked in a voice that sounded like he was once again that five year old that sought out Claudia for comfort and she just shook her head.

"Not good… I saw her for just a moment at the wedding… she was lying on the floor, clutching that letter that you left… Nikolas had to physically pick her up off the floor…" Claudia said quietly.

The guilt crept into his throat, threatening to suffocate him. Hearing the damage that he had done to her, the woman that he promised never to hurt or betray, was devastating. He could see her on the floor, in a heap of white fabric, clutching that letter and crying out for him, wondering how he could've done such a thing to her. Claudia gently stroked his hair, trying to comfort her brother in the only way she knew how.

"My fault… it's all my fault… Lulu…" he sobbed.

Johnny shuddered as his last memory of his sister faded back into his mind. Claudia had released him from her embrace and she smiled warmly at him. She still looked the same, choosing only to wear black except for her choice of fire engine red stilettos. She pressed a kiss to her brother's cheek and he winced.

"I would say that you look good but then I'd be lying…" Claudia chuckled as she took in her brother's gaunt appearance.

"Nice to see you too, Claudia…" he muttered.

He turned around to go back inside and Claudia followed him. She immediately began to complain how there was no light in the room and proceeded to open up the all of the drapes and windows to let fresh air in. Johnny rolled his eyes at his sister's comments that he was trying to suffocate himself by not letting in outside air.

"You could've checked up on me through a phone call… so why are you really here, Claudia?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest and she chuckled.

"You can see right through me, can't you, little brother?" she laughed.

"You're as transparent as plastic wrap…" he grumbled and her face turned serious.

"I have two reasons…" she started.

"Hurry up with them so I can tell you no…" he said as he took a seat.

"Daddy's gone now… Alzheimer's… and I know that it's probably the last thing on earth that you want to do but the memorial service is next week and I'd really like you to come back to Port Charles…" Claudia said.

"The only reason why I would go back to Port Charles for dad's memorial is to check to see if that bastard is really dead…" he growled.

"I know… but I—I have another reason why you should come back…" she said.

"What is it?" he snapped.

She blushed and held out her hand. At first, Johnny didn't understand what she meant but his eyes then fell to the enormous ring on his sister's left hand. His eyes widened and he looked back up at his sister, attempting to see if this was some sort of a joke. After all of Claudia's talk about marriages and them being doomed to fail from the start, it just seemed that Claudia would be the last person that he would ever think would want to get married.

"When did this happen?" Johnny asked.

"A few months ago… the date is set for next month… and you're—you're all that I have left, John… I want you there…" she said, putting her hand on his.

"A bit sudden, don't you think?" he asked and Claudia blushed again.

"Well, Nikolas and I didn't want to wait…" she said as a sheepish grin spread across her face.

Johnny's eyes widened at the name of Claudia's fiancé. He didn't know what was more surprising, hearing that his sister was willing to take the plunge or that she was marrying the man that ruined his life. How could he possibly stand there and watch his sister pledge herself to the man that tore his life to shreds?

"Claudia… I—I can't go back…" he said, shaking his head.

"Not even to watch your only sister get married?" she asked.

"I can't go back to Port Charles…" he reiterated.

"Because of Lulu? John, it's been two years…" she said as if she were chiding him for still caring for her.

"Don't you think I know that, Claudia?" he snapped.

His heart knew nothing of the time that had passed since he abandoned her. The pain in his chest was as fresh and as raw as it was two years ago. Two days, two years, two decades… the pain would be the same. Claudia would've never understood. She sighed and put her hand on his. He looked up at her and saw the same concern that she had shown him since he could remember in her eyes.

"I know that it'll be hard for you… seeing her after all this time and you know that I wouldn't ask you if I really didn't need you there… but John, you're my brother and I need you there by my side…" she pleaded.

She reached into her black Marc Jacobs bag and fished out a small envelope. She extended the envelope out to her brother and he sighed. Plane tickets to Port Charles. He wasn't strong enough for this. He couldn't face her, not after how he ruined her life. And frankly, he couldn't stand to entertain the fact that she hated him for what he had done now. She bit her bottom lip anxiously, waiting for Johnny's decision. His hand trembled as he reached for the ticket. There were a million reasons why he shouldn't go back to Port Charles. Yet, his fingertips edged forward, reaching for the plane ticket. Everything inside of him was screaming at him to not take it but as soon as he felt the piece of paper against his skin, his decision had been made.

"Thank you, John! You won't regret this… I promise!" Claudia exclaimed as she flung her arms around her brother's neck.

"I hope I don't either…" he whispered.