On a sad day in Konohagakure, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura mourn the loss of their teacher Kakashi Hatake.

Naruto: What did THAT to him?

Sakura: A vampire?

Sasuke: There's no such thing.

Sakura: What else could take all of the fluid out of a human body?

Sasuke: Naruto is a ninja with ADD who wears freaking orange, is friends with a talking frog, completely against stealth kills, we scream out our super ultra deadly rip your ass apart attacks, and it takes twenty episodes to kill anything that isn't cannon fodder. We're as close to actual ninjas as...sorry no analogy can come close to how ridiculous this premise is.

Sakura: Oh right.

Naruto: Take your Prozac.

Sasuke: Take your Ritalin!

Naruto: Ass! Kage-Bunshin no Jutsu!

The Shadow Clones all use a henge.

Shadow clones: Look at us, we're the Uchiha clan! They all start stabbing themselves in the head with kunai.

Sasuke: Naruto, you do know when I betray this village of morons, I'm going to wreak a series of unholy acts of vengeance upon your ass. Just wanted to be clear on this.

Naruto: I wonder what Orochimaru will do to your a-, umm Sakura, you're drooling.

Sakura: Hehe sorry, I just had a really happy thought.

Naruto: Careful, you might make Sasuke's list!

Sasuke starts calculating how many episodes it will take until he joins Orochimaru.

Sakura: Well aren't we supposed to be talking about Kakashi-sensei?

Naruto: Don't care, he Kancho'd me way too much. I told the Hokage it was a bad touch and nothing happened!

Everyone stops talking and waits.
And waits.
And waits.

Sakura: Wow no flashback!

Sasuke and Naruto shout at the top of their lungs, "It's a burial ground miracle!"

Tsunade: Don't you idiots have any respect for the dead?

Naruto: Yea of course, that's why I don't do to corpses what Sasuke does to them.

Sakura: Ummm Tsunade can you ask Naruto to stop messing with Sasuke?

Tsunade: No, I don't want a scene. I hate that crap.

Sasuke: Twenty episodes left...twenty episodes left...twenty episodes left...

Tsunade: No, more like eight hundred and seventy five, don't you love the magic of fillers!

Naruto: I love fillers!

Tsunade, Sakura and Sasuke: BACK IN YOUR CAGE!

Tsunade: Well anyway, the four of us are investigating Kakashi's mansion, we need to find some clues as to what killed him.

Sasuke: Kakashi had a goddamned mansion!?

Tsunade: Yea, we tried busting him for tax evasion, but he's a ninja and an expert at hiding things.

Sasuke: Finally we can get this crappy plot moving!

Naruto: Believe i-

Sakura, Sasuke, and Tsunade glare.

Naruto: -tebay-

They keep glaring.

Naruto: Wait, people complained about "Tebayo" being annoying, now people complain about "Believe it!" the exact same way...what should I say.

Tsunade: Absolutely nothing, talking makes you look stupid.

Naruto: Talking makes you look like a bi-

Tsunade flicks Naruto's forehead killing him instantly.

Sakura: Thanks mom!

Tsunade: I'm not related to you, I just have the exact same personality, had the exact same ninja team, in Shippuden you learn everything that makes you a decent ninja from me...oh crap I need a DNA test.

Sasuke: You mean you can forget about nine months of being pregnant???

Tsunade: Yep, I blacked almost everything that happened to me since I turned eighteen.

Naruto: That explains Sakura's hair and forehead!

Sasuke: AREN'T YOU DEAD!?

Naruto: Nope my plot device...I mean Kyuubi kept me alive!

Tsunade: Yes, the Kyuubi is the true enemy of Konohagakure. It killed our greatest ninja including the Yondaime...it's spectre haunts us up to this day.

Tsunade looks right at Naruto.

Sakura: NOOOOO! We nearly went an episode without a flashback!

Tsunade: We can't do something that terrible, the universe would fall into pure chaos with it's fundamental law being broken.

Sasuke: Author, end this episode. Now.