"Muahahahahahaha! Your captain is knocked out and he can't save your sorry butts from me; the Shichibuki BARTHOLOMEW KUMA!"
"Perfect." Zoro muttered under his breath.
"Well, I may consider you letting you guys go clean. Under one condition..." Kuma said
"WHAT?!" The whole crew minus Luffy shouted excitedly.
"You have to sing...the chorus of my FAVORITE SONG!!" The large man shouted.
"How the hell are we supposed to know your favorite song?!" Zoro shouted.
"I'll give you three clues--"
"Now it's a guessing game?"
"Urusai! I'm talking! Anyway, you can only have three clues. If you don't guess it by then, you will have to fight me...and possibly be eliminated."
"Okay." The crew said simultaneously.
"The first clue is...Hugo."
"What the hell?!" Zoro shouted. He knew what play it was from, since he watched it with a bunch of random OC's in some AU called broadway.
Nami knew the play too. She didn't know how though, since it was from some part of her past that is non-canon and which the author still has to make up. Sweat beads rolled down her face, since the songs from that play require large voice ranges and massive lung capacity.
The rest of the crew didn't know what the hell that fat ass was talking about.
"Do you know what it is yet?" Kuma asked after about .005 seconds.
"No! You barely gave us anytime to think!" Nami screeched.
"Fine, whatever. The second clue is Eponine."
"Oh crap...I know it..." Nami and Zoro thought simultaneously.
"Do you know what it is yet?" Kuma asked yet again, after .005 seconds
"YES!" The two both shouted.
"Then SING! SING FOR MEEEEEEE!!"
Nami opened her mouth and began to sing:
On my own, pretending he's beside me--"Oh perfect...I forgot it..."Nami blushed
"In that case, prepare to DI--"
"WAIT!" Zoro's voice rang out
"What is it now?" Kuma monotoned.
"You're giving us false clues."
"NANI?! How did you know?!"
"Intuition I guess." Zoro folded his arms
"Curse you Roronoa Zoro. Fine, I'll tell you the song...you probably won't know it thought..."
"Ooooo!! I know what it is!!" Ace shouted out of nowhere.
"NANI?! ACE?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE (warning: spoiler) LOCKEDUPANDDYINGINTHEWORLDGOVERNMENT'SMOSTFEAREDPRISONCALLEDIMPELDOWN'CAUSEYOUGOTYOURSORRYASSKICKEDBYTHATASSHOLEBLACKBEARD!!"Luffy shouted
"And I thought this story was non-canon." Ace replied with a smile.
"Point taken Ace." Luffy responded, with his own trademark grin.
"So what's the song?" Zoro asked.
"Nani?" Ace asked casually
"What's the name of the song?!" Zoro was annoyed.
"What song?"
"Didn't you just say you knew the name of the song that the shichibukai was talking about!?"
"Oohhhhh TThhhhhhaaatt...the song is Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel."
"I Garfunkeled your mother!" Sanji shouted out of nowhere.
"Screw letting you guys go! You piss me off! That's it!" Kuma lunged at them, disgusting features and all.
Suddenly, a huge explosion engulfed the Shichibuki and was blown into smithereens.
Usopp's eyes bulged out of his face. "WHAT THE H--"
"ROY!!" Ace jumped on Roy Mustang and glomped him.
"Since when was Roy in One Piece?! Franky exclaimed
"I'm not, but we have the same voice actor, so we have a conneeeectiioooonnnnnn." Roy said.
"Ya," Ace repeated, "a conneeeectiiiioooonnnnnnn."
The crew had an anime sweat drop moment. "Nani?" they all thought.
"ACE!" Roy cried," THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND OUR conneeeeeectiiiiooonnnnnn."
"YA ROY! LET'S GO! LET'S GO TO A HAPPY PLACE WHERE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND OUR conneeeectiiooonnnnnnnn." Ace replied, and they happily skipped away, holding hands to a place where people could understand their conneeeectiiiooonnnn.
"Hey, since Kuma is gone, let's go." Robin suggested.
"Ok..." Everyone walked out of Thriller Bark and left.
The End
"I STILL GARFUNKELED YOUR MOTHER!!"
"Shut it ero-cook."