Like lifting a dead weight, I struggle to open my eyes. My vision fills with surroundings surreal to me.
Where am I?
The blinding light of the source overhead burns my retinas as I open my eyes fully, although they are soon shut again. Blinking once, twice, three times before I actually take notice of where I am.
A hospital.
The beeping and whirring of machines. The buzz of people - doctors, nurses, friends, family – in the corridors. The sharp smell of disinfectant that stings my nostrils as I take in a breath for the first time in what seems like a millennium. The air, tinged with the stench, feels good. Filling my lungs, watching my own chest rise as I breathe. It feels… new.
But, wait.
Why am I here?
Why is Richard Castle - best-selling author, son of a spy and part-time detective - in hospital?
I lean forward only to be greeted by the screams of the machines I'm hooked up to. A web of wires and tubes keep me down.
What was going on? What happened?
The last thing I remember was embracing the beautiful Katherine Beckett as my daughter and I were reunited with her and my mother.
And now I'm here. This can't be right.
The door swung open a young woman in dark blue scrubs and a white coat rushes in. Stethoscope in one hand and the other beckoning nurses into the room. My chest felt tight. It hurt, a lot. My vision started to move in and out of focus.
"Mr Rogers? Mr Rogers, I'm Dr. Beckett. You're gonna be alright. Just stay with us, okay?"
That voice. Beckett? Doctor? What…
I force my eyes open. Her face. Her eyes.
It's her. Its Kate.
"K-Kate…"
I'm breathless, light-headed, with a burning sensation in my chest.
"What?"
She sounds so confused. Why?
"Charge to 300."
"I…"
"Clear."
A shock travels through my body. Everything is intensified. It hurts more now. It hurts so much.
"I… love…"
"Clear."
Again. My heart has stopped. I can barely keep my eyes open.
But I have to fight. I have to say it. I have to tell her.
"I love you."
I can't keep going. At least she knows now.
"Dr Beckett, you have to call it."
"Time of death: 4:24pm."
Kate put back the paddles and sighed. First day as an attending and she's lost one. She sits down outside of Mr Rogers' room and holds her head in her hands. She doesn't usually cry.
"Did you know him?" asks a nurse that was in the room with her.
"No, I didn't."
"He said he loves you. He knew your name."
"Maybe someone should check his psych records. I didn't know him."
Kate got up, wiping her tears away as she stalked off down the hall.