A/N: i've never thought a ship could destroy me the way these two idiots do. i want my life back. i don't own any of this. ((title is from the song 'rootless tree' by damien rice))
Sometimes they walk home together. Mickey says he hates taking walks but the bus is too fucking expensive and too fucking hot in the middle of August and it doesn't hurt to have 30 more minutes of Ian Gallagher talking so much Mickey thinks his head is going to fucking explode. On their way they pass at least three gas stations and six delis and sometimes Mickey notices how Ian tries not to step on the cracks in the sidewalk. It drives Mickey fucking insane but he can't really focus on it too much because they pass some pretty shady areas and Mickey worries about what people will think of two dudes walking the streets together at night. Way too slow to be going anywhere particular, way too close together to be considered friends.
One time Ian starts talking about his mom and how she tried to bake a cake with salt instead of sugar when he was four and how she sang songs to him containing lyrics a six year old should not hear. He talks about how she used to stay in bed for three days straight and not even move when he sat beside her for hours doing his homework. Or how she used to stay up for three days straight waking up the entire house at 3am because she made the smoke alarm go off. He talks about her with a faint smile on his lip and teary eyes that make Mickey want to bash his head against a brick wall just to make it go away. Ian is Monica's kid and Ian tells Mickey how all of his siblings always point that out like it's not too fucking obvious already.
One time Ian talks about his mom in a low voice that scares the shit out of Mickey because it shakes too fucking much and chokes on word like 'highs' and 'lows'. And Ian tells Mickey about blood as red as fucking cherries on kitchen floors that had been white once and about towels on wrists and hospital waiting areas. He says he wishes he could go back to being 5 when he and Monica walked all the way to the cheapest grocery store 12 blocks away and made sure not to step on a single crack in the sidewalk. He says this while focusing on the cracks and he almost steps on one but kind of manages to move his body in the opposite direction.
He bumps into Mickey and it probably looks awkward as fuck but Ian's body feels just right against Mickey's. And Mickey doesn't push him away and he doesn't know why. All he knows is that Ian smells too fucking good for a humid night in the middle of August. And that his teary eyes do not look dumb at all and that he wishes he could tell Ian about his mom and what they used to spend their days with when Terry wasn't around to terrorize everyone. And Mickey doesn't pull his hand away when Ian's moves to brush his for a fraction of a second. He doesn't even look around to see if anyone has noticed, he just holds Ian's gaze and hopes it tells Ian that missing his mom is fine and perfectly normal and not stupid at all.