Rating: T

WARNING: Self-injury comes up a lot in this story. Please, if it triggers you, don't read.

Hey all=]

So I thought I would just do another one shot, but this one is on a serious note. I know I usually do fluff ones, but I wanted to see Sonny in a new light and see how Chad would react to it.

I believe that they can be serious on some occasions, and I wanted to explore the option.

This story takes place really around Demi and her struggles and my own personal experiences. Not everyone can be happy all the time, and I want people to understand that even though people put on a smile, there's some hidden truth behind it.

Oh, and it get's happier at the end, don't worry=]

But I hope you all like it=]

Broken

(Sonny's POV)

Six hours and thirty-five minutes. Six hours and thirty-five minutes. Six hours and thirty-five minutes. That's all I have to look forward to today; being able to go home and just break down.

I sighed a bit as I sat on my chair facing the north wall in the Prop House away from everyone so no one would be able to find me. I sat with the lights dim to the point where I could barely see in front of me and that's how I've been for over an hour now.

I sit to calm myself down. I sit to think rationally. I sit to get away from myself. I don't know. I just haven't been very sunny lately. I haven't been able to talk to anyone either. I just can't find the words to say without revealing too much.

You see, for a few months now, I just haven't been able to stay positive to myself. I go to rehearsal for an hour and come and hide from everyone else until I can face them again, which, sometimes isn't until the next day.

Here's the thing about Hollywood: you can't be depressed. Never. Once you get to that breaking point, they will break you even further, and I just don't know if I can deal with that right now.

Six hours and thirty-three minutes. I sit and stare at my clock most of the day. I look forward to when it says five and I can just go home and break down without anyone noticing.

Things just aren't going right for me anymore. I don't feel like eating most of the time and I don't feel like sitting and watching people eat. It disgusts me how people can eat that much food and not even think about it. I don't even feel like looking at food and I don't feel like hearing about it either.

I can't keep my thoughts in control anymore either. I think about bad things all the time, and sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like acting on them. Every now and then, people will notice me picking at my skin, but no one ever does anything about it.

For just once, I wish someone would be able to pick up on my emotions and just ask if I'm feeling alright on any given day. Granted, I'd probably say I'm fine, but it's nice to know that people care. I just wish someone could look at me and wonder why I am who I am. I just want someone to care I guess.

My mom's never around anymore lately. Her job works at night so we're almost never together, and that's when things went downhill. I lost my best friend. My mom was always there for me to just vent about, and lately, I haven't had anyone to talk to.

Tawni has never really been of any help to me because she's too self-absorbed to even notice me. Grady doesn't even know where to begin to start to ask, and Nico has no idea that I can even get sad. Actually, no one believe that I have a sad side, but I do, and it's my dominant side.

Zora and Chad are the same; they just don't care. If they saw me sad, they would make a joke about it or tell me to suck it up and get over it because it's ruining their mood, so that's why I put on this act during the day.

I don't know what I'd do if someone found out my secret. I don't even understand why people don't understand me. I feel like I'm alone throughout the day and I'm just put here to make people's lives better, not my own. I guess I just feel broken and I can't put the pieces back together.

I have no self-esteem whatsoever and that's why I basically just abuse myself; I don't deserve the chance I've gotten. I feel like I can just be here and it would cause some person pain by just seeing me, and that why most days I do the best to just take myself out of the situation.

I sigh a bit as I stare at the blade in front of me. I wonder what would happen if I made another scar somewhere on my body. Would someone notice? Would someone ask? Would someone even care?

That's when I just lost it. I picked up the blade as tears rolled down my cheek as I slowly brought the silver edge down to my forearm, deciding to make it public this time as I laid it gently on my arm, ready to make the cut.

Right as I was about to slide it across my forearm, I heard my name being called out.

"Sonny?" the voice called out coming close to where I was. "Sonny? You in here?" the distinctly male voice called out.

"Just...just go away," I whispered, hopefully loud enough for him to hear.

"Sonny? Sonny, where are you?" he called out again, desperation in his voice as he strained to find me, the invisible person.

I sighed a bit as I sniffled as I kept the blade in my hand, "What do you want?" I said softly as I hid my face in my hair, trying to get him to take the hint.

I heard his breath catch as he rounded the corner as he took one look at me. As soon as his eyes laid on my hand, he gaped his mouth a little bit, staring at me in shock and surprise, "Sonny," he managed to finally get out.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I bit my lip trying to think of something to say, but before I could, I saw Chad move closer to where I was. When he got to where my knees were, he slowly bent down until he was sitting on his knees in front of me staring up with an unreadable expression.

"I'm sorry," I finally managed to whisper as I stared into his eyes while he just shook his head.

"Don't you dare apologize," he whispered in an angry tone. After he said that, his expression immediately softened as he closed his eyes taking in a deep breath. "Can I have it?" he asked slowly as his eyes darted to the razor that was still in my hands.

Out of reaction, I tightened my grip around it without thinking. I winced a bit as I opened up my hand slowly as I saw a bit of blood dripping down from where the razor dug into my skin. I looked down to the cut and opened my mouth a little bit in surprise.

Chad looked down to my hand and slowly reached out for the razor, to which I let him take. As soon as he gently placed it on the ground a little bit away from us, he took my hand in his and helped me clench a fist to stop the bleeding.

"It's okay," he whispered as he looked up to me and stared at me in the eyes with a soft glance trying to prove that he meant what he said.

I nodded my head a bit trying to believe him, "You're disappointed in me," I whispered as I looked away from him.

He sighed a bit as I turned his stance into a crouch so he could look at me in the eyes, "Don't you dare say that, Sonny. You didn't disappoint me at all," he said with a little louder tone.

He brushed a few strands of hair away from my eyes, "I'm worried about you," he said after a few seconds, "I'm concerned that you didn't tell someone about it. I would have helped you," he whispered in a dejected tone.

I shook my head a bit, "No you wouldn't have," I accused as his head snapped up, "You would have told me to go talk to a therapist or someone and then you would have had your security ban me for disrupting your peace," I said softly as I looked down my hand clasped in his.

He lifted his hand and put it under my chin so I was forced to look up to him, "Allison Monroe, I would never do that to anyone, no matter where they are from," he said seriously, "I know that our shows aren't that close to each other, but there is this thing called compassion, and believe it or not, I have it. I would have been there for you in a second if you just asked," he said softly as he looked me directly in the eye.

He let go of my chin as he stood up all the way and offered me a hand to take. I hesitated, but after a few seconds, I gave him my good hand as he tightened his grip around it quickly and pulled me up lightly. Before we moved a step, he looked down at me and gave me a small, but simple smile.

"You're still Sonny," he whispered to me as I instantly felt a pang of guilt rise up from me.

Before I had a chance to respond, Chad gently pulled me through the back way leading out into a rarely used hallway. He silently led us down the hallway until we reached the Mackenzie Falls stage. He looked back to me to make sure I was still with him, and when he got the okay-go, he moved through the door and into the main lobby.

He loosened his grip a bit on my wrist as we started to walk at a normal rate to his dressing room. We made it to his dressing room without anyone asking questions or really, without anyone even giving us a second glance.

When we entered his dressing room, he sat me down on the couch before he went off on his own to go and get something. While he was gone, I stared down at my hand and notice that it was a decent size cut that looked to be not so deep from the looks of it.

Chad came back a few minutes later carrying some hand towels, hydrogen peroxide, and some bandages. He sat down next to me on the couch and took my injured hand from me.

"This will sting a bit," he whispered as he looked up to me before he reached down and tabbed the cut with the towel to get rid of some of the blood. Then, he put the peroxide on the towel and began to clean the cut out carefully, keeping a steady hand while doing so.

After he finished with that, he took a bandage and placed it lightly over the cut, giving it some air space before he picked up a roll of gauze and wrapped it around my hand and wrist a few times to make sure my hand had support.

After he finished and looked over his work, he put the bloody towels and the peroxide on the table in front of him and looked at me.

"Chad," I said slowly and softly while he looked to me with a soft gaze, "Thank you," I whispered after a few seconds.

He smiled a bit and grabbed my uninjured hand and held it in his as he met my glance, "Don't worry about it," he whispered to match my tone. "I'm always here for you, Sonny, no matter what time of day it is."

I smiled a little bit as I nodded, "Thank you for caring about me too. Lately, I feel like no one even notices that I'm alive anymore," I said sadly as I look down to the ground trying to avoid any gaze.

"You're the reason I come to work you know," he admitted softly while I looked up to him with a questioning stare. "I notice you all the time. I notice what color shoes you wear and I notice what color bow you have in your hair because that stuff is important to me. I notice when you smile and when you don't, and I notice when you need a friend. You looked down today, so I wanted to find you to cheer you up," he said softly while he looked down and stared at my hand.

"I need a friend," I admitted, "I need someone who likes me, because most of the time, I don't like myself," I said softly as I bit my lip trying to stop myself from crying.

He lifted his hand and put it on the side of my face, slowly stroking my cheek with his thumb, "I love everything that you have about yourself, Sunshine," he whispered with a small but honest smile.

As soon as he said that, I felt a stray tear fall down onto my lap, "How can you love a person when they don't even love themselves?" I asked not expecting any kind of answer.

To my surprise, he immediately answered, "Because I know that you're still Sonny and I know that one day, you'll learn to love yourself the way that everyone else loves you. I know that if I was in the same situation, I would want someone to feel the same way. It's without effort to find the positives in you, Sonny. I can't name one negative about you," he whispered softly as he looked at me with honesty.

"Thank you for being my friend, Chad," I stated simply, trying to keep things light between us.

He smiled as he leaned in and kissed my cheek, "Thank you for being the one that taught me how to finally live without any regrets," he whispered in my ear.

And there it is.

I don't think I have to say much else except for that this is a true story. This happens to millions of people and all it takes is 1 person to make a slight difference in your life.

Please, if you know someone who is self-harming, please please please tell someone. You could be the one to save their life and give them a reason to live.

You're not a bad person for saving someone's life who doesn't want to live.

I hoped you liked it, and, if you could, please review. I want to know your thoughts on the situation and how you felt about the context of the story.

Thank you, and have a Merry Christmas=]

~Sammie