Chapter 1: The Hell Are We?

Virgil and Paul and third wheel were standing in the middle of a mid-evil castle town. These three stared at each other with the same look on their faces, that 'what in the actual fuck just happened' face.

"Where are we?" Virgil asked the obvious question.

"How the fuck should I know?" Paul responded.

"Rhetorical question, Paul." He responded. "Someone had to ask eventually."

"Dude ever since your bother crashed you and Sarah's wedding, weird shit's been hitting the fan at a non-stopping rate."

The two officers looked at the kid who was with them. He was just under their height and was young, about 18 or 19 years of age. He wore a black, white, and yellow track suit with an 'N' on the left breast pocket and a black and yellow track pants. His hair was long but not as long as Virgil's and was brown. He boy was also Asian with brown eyes and small build.

"Oi, kid. What's your name?" Paul asked.

"Subaru Natsuki, sir."

Natsuki, eh? Sounds like that pink haired Loli chick that lives in your house, Rookie.

You're here too I see.

Duh!? What do you expect? I'm your evil half, Virgil.

"Well Subaru, I'm Off. Paul and this is Off. Virgil. We saw you standing in the middle of the road and wondered what you were doing there but as you can see, this has more importance." Paul gestures to the surroundings.

"Yeah my partner is right, how did we go from the outskirts of town to here and it was 11 at night now it's like noon out."

"Yeah I promised my parents I'd be back no later than midnight so I need to get back home soon." Subaru agreed.

The three walked around and somehow separated themselves. Virgil was stuck talking to his inner demon. God dammit! How the fuck did we lose them? By getting caught in that huge crowd. Still though, it's cliché. I know you're frustrated as I am but we need to keep our cool. I know. Hey, that lizard guy's been gawking at us for a while now. And what do you want me to do about it? You have a gun so fire a warning shot... into his face. No, I'm pretty sure that counts as brutality. You're out of jurisdiction so it'll be okay. I said NO! Fucking righteous hippy! Demonic douchebag! Bitch! I will hug you, squeeze you, and call you Virgie!"ONLY SAYORI CAN CALL ME THAT!" SHIT! Did I say that out loud? Yeah, you did. Fuck off, my question was a rhetorical one!

Paul was stuck gawking at the gnomes (A/N): I don't recall gnomes being in the series but for the sake of the upcoming joke, there were and they noticed.

"Oi! Fuck yur lookin' at yee daft cunt?" One cussed at him.

"Looking at you guys. Never seen… Gnomes? Is that what you are?" Said Paul.

"Aye, that's 'ight. We Gnomes, lad. Come and have a tankard or two."

(A/N): Yes, they're Irish and yes, they're also garden gnomes. Wanted to avoid the Harry Potter G.C. version because the last time I made a reference to that game, EA had YouTube remove my video that was four years old so better safe than sorry.

So then they drank and started singing.

"WHAT DO WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR?

WHAT DO WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR?

WHAT DO WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR?

EARLY IN THE MORNING?"

Subaru was off somewhere getting his ass beat by three thugs when suddenly a girl with silver hair appeared and fought the three punks. Virgil came by shortly after carrying a drunk Paul over his shoulder.

"Last time I have you go drinking with out me." It should be noted that Paul had a black eye.

They came up to them and they started explaining what happened to each other.

"So he went drinking with out you and so you punched his lights out?" Subaru asked.

"Bitch slapped. Otherwise, correct." Virgil confirmed.

"So not to point out the obvious but you're not from here are you?" The silver haired girl asked.

"What on earth gave you that impression?" Virgil asked sarcastically.

She just looked at him.

"Look sorry, it's been a long day and we just want to get home."

It is true. Virgil wants nothing more but to go home to his Sayori and his two children, Lelouch and Scarlet. He was worried knowing his brother Ian was out there with a vengeful blood lust and his family is unprotected.

"Hey listen, if you help me then I'll help you in what ever way I can. Sound like a deal?"

"Deal!"

And so they took off.

Don't worry Sayori, Lelouch, and Scarlet. I'll be back home soon. Virgil thought to himself.

(A/N): And second fanfic started. I don't have much to say for this one yet so if there are any questions as to the names of Virgil's loved ones then look at my other fan fic, Doki Doki In Real Life. There you might get some answers.