Rodney the Peach: The Origins of Fruit
Once upon a time there was a little peach named Rodney. Rodney was the happiest peach around. His laughter would bring joy and happiness to the village fruits and vegetables all around. Rodney had a smile that would lighten up any bad day. Rodney lived in a very nice village known as Richmond. It is probably the friendliest village on the face of the earth. Every day was like it was summer. There was not a gloomy day of the year. All of the fruits and vegetables knew each other very well. There was not a fruit or vegetable that was a stranger in the village. Rodney was very fortunate to live in a village like this one.
It was June, 14 2011, the day right before Rodney would go to Louisiana to see his family for the summer. Rodney was very excited for this day. Yet, he was sad at the same time because he was leaving all his friends behind. Rodney had a lot of friends. However, one particular friend has not been getting along with him for the past two years. This friend was Omar. Omar was the smelliest rotten plum of the village. The fruits and vegetables did not favor Omar very well. Since Rodney was leaving the next day he decided to pay Omar a visit. Rodney hopes to make things right with Omar before he leaves. Rodney is now at Omar's doorstep knocking politely.
"What do you want", Omar said to Rodney standing outside his door. Rodney bites his tongue wanting to cuss him out very badly.
"Look, I am leaving to Louisiana Tomorrow and I wanted to resolve any tension between us". After Rodney says this, Omar laughs hysterically.
"You're a bitch. Get off my property", Omar says.
"I was just being a man bitch. That is something you will never be", Rodney exclaimed.
"Just because you have some peach fuzz on your chin, that doesn't make you a man. Now get off my court".
"Omar, I just want to help you".
"You want to help me? Stop existing. If you didn't exist my life would be better. I regret ever meeting you". Omar then slams the door on Rodney.
It is June 15, and now Rodney is on the plane heading out to Louisiana. Rodney was in a depressed mood ever since the talk with Omar the day before. All Rodney could think about was how miserable Omar was. It was bugging him the whole flight.
"If I didn't exist", Rodney thought to himself.
All the sudden Rodney appeared on kitchen counter. It was a very unfamiliar place. The smell of dead garlic and onion was in the air. Rodney was very scared and didn't know what to do or where to go, so he cried.
"You better hide before Chris comes back", an onion said from the shadow of a pot.
"Who are you? And where am I? How did I get here?" Rodney asked the onion. The onion comes out of the shadow. Rodney then recognizes his horrible smell.
"He smells worse than Omar", Rodney thought to himself.
"My name is Marius. There is no time to explain. You have to hide before he comes back. He will cook you", the onion exclaims.
"Oh shit! It's too late! He is coming", the onion says.
A young light skinned human wearing all white walks into the kitchen. Rodney and Marius are hiding behind a pot as the human walks around the kitchen. The human is killing vegetables, chopping them with a huge sword. Five minutes have passed and Rodney and Marius still wait for him to leave.
"I don't know how much longer I can take being next to this onion. He stinks so fuck'n bad", Rodney thought to himself.
Five minutes turned into ten minutes. The human is still murdering innocent vegetables. Finally, the stink made Rodney so fed up, he ran away from Marius gasping for air. The human then notices this and walks over to the commotion. Marius is still behind the pot very scared. Rodney looks up at the human as he looks back at him.
"What is that smell in my kitchen", the human says.
Rodney then stares directly at Marius. Then Marius grows very furious and storms out of the shadow.
"Screw you Chris! Get out", Marius yells at the human. Marius then looks back at Rodney to see his response. Rodney was in shock that he would say that to the human.
Then the human picks up Marius and says, "What did you say to me?"
"Are you gonna cook me bitch? You can't even cook", Marius tells the human.
"Cook you? You are rotten. You're going into dog food".
The human then takes Marius into another other room. That is the last of Marius. The human then comes back to Rodney in the kitchen. Rodney desperately tries to find a place to hide, but before he could do that, he finds himself already in front of the human.
"You must be Rodney. I am Chris the cook", the human says.
"You Know me?" Rodney asked.
"Yes, I do know you. In my world we are really close friends. We sit next to each other in Chemistry and tell each other jokes. I know that this is very hard to understand, but you have been sent to my kitchen for a very special purpose. You were sent here to make Omar's life better as a plum, so that in my world he can at least graduate. So Rodney, are you ready for this mission?"
"Yes. I am ready", Rodney says with a huge smile on his face.
"You know what. You are a cool little buddy", Chris says. "I am going to send you back in time so that you can change Omar's life".
Rodney wakes up from a deep sleep on the plane to Louisiana. It was all a dream.
"Damn, It was just a dream", Rodney thought. Rodney shrugs his shoulders and says "Oh well, I guess Omar's life is going to suck forever".
Rodney then listens to his IPod awaiting his arrival to Louisiana where a heartwarming family is there waiting for him. The End