I wish you didn't love me
I wish you'd make this easy
It was love that caught me
Now its fear that keeps me with you
Maria sat in the women's locker room in a sweatshirt and sweatpants avoiding the other divas. She didn't want to leave. Her boyfriend of a year and a half was waiting for her. She didn't want to go with him. It was after the Royal Rumble and, even though she won her match against Beth, she was extremely tired and didn't want to go with him out to a club. She knew he'd get drunk and when they got back to the hotel, he would want to 'make love' with her. And when she said she was tired or not in the mood, he would punish her and tell what a worthless whore she was, that she was lucky to have him. After a while she started to believe him.
Their relationship had started great when there were hugs and kisses and cuddles. But after their first time together, he thought that he could use her for sex whenever he wanted. So he took her for granted whenever they had free time, in his office mostly or the limo. Wherever convenient would be good for him to demine her. Of course, in public, they were the perfect couple. But at home, he would beat her senseless after a long night of scotch.
She missed the old him, but it was too late for him to change back. His first personality was gone. Now he was a monster that haunted her.
When they were in public, she would pretend that he was the same way that he was when they first started dating but when Maria closed her eyes, she could feel the bruises on her arm and legs. They burned under her clothes and the makeup she used to cover them. She saw the angry look in his brown eyes and his face tense up before he hit her. She would rather die then feel his belt hit her skin or his fist against her cheek again. But as she would try to fight back, he would laugh in her face and call her weak and worthless. She let his words sink in when she tried to get her mind off of her abusive boyfriend. After he was done he would say he was sorry and say he didn't mean it. Something about the way he said it made Maria believe that his apology was true. He said he'd never do it again, but then it would be tomorrow.
I want to be by your side
So I can close my eyes
To the growing emptiness inside that kills me
When I'm with you
Maria jumped as someone tapped her on the shoulder.
"Maria, are you alright?" Mickie asked with a look of true concern on her face.
"Yeah, just thinking." Maria answered, her voice shaky.
"Well, some of us are going out to dinner later. Do you want to join us?"
Maria would have said yes in a heartbeat. She was close friends with all of the Diva's on RAW before she went out with him, but they distanced themselves as Maria got more and more reserved. She stopped hanging out with her friends.
"I wish I could but I have plans with—" But she was cut off as Melina interrupted her.
"Maria, I think you should break up with him. Not just me, the other girls think so, too. You've changed so much since you started going out and now we barely even talk."
"I wish I could…" Maria mumbled.
"If you don't wanna break up with him, how about you room with one of us for a little, like we used to." Jillian suggested.
"We really miss you, Ria." Beth continued.
"I would absolutely love to," Maria told them truthfully, "But I'd have to ask him."
"Okay. We won't pressure you but get back to us as soon as you can." Kelly persisted.
"I will," Maria answered as she got up from the bench. She grabbed her bag and headed for the door.
"What do you think he did to her?" Maria heard Beth whisper when they thought she was out of earshot.
"I don't know but it must have been bad for her to be acting like this." Katie Lea answered. Maria walked out of the door in disgust.
You try to break me Try to hate me
So you can fall out of love
She remembered why she wasn't looking forward to leaving the sanctuary of the locker room when she saw his storming down the hallway. Her breath quickened when the angry look on her face registered in her head. The thoughts of what he did to her filled her head and waited for what was coming. He made sure no one was near before he slammed her against the wall. Maria whimpered in pain as he held her up by her throat.
"Why do you make me wait? You know I don't like to wait." He said in a soft voice. She was surprised at his voice even though he always used that voice when he was beating her.
"I was about to leave but the other girls asked me if I wanted to room with them." Maria gasped.
"And you told them no, didn't you?" He said, his voice still soft, yet you could hear the slightest bit of anger behind them.
"I told them I'd ask. But I really want to. I miss my friends." Maria sharply inhaled as his hand smacked against her face.
"No, you need to room with me. No one else wants you to stay with them. They just said that because they feel bad that you are a worthless whore. No one wants you, Maria. You're lucky that I'm even here. Without me, you be nothing." His hand tightened around her neck as he spat out that last sentence.
"They want me to room with them. They are my friends. I'm not worthless, I—" But he closed his hand even tighter around her neck so she couldn't talk.
"You're insane if you think that anyone wants you. You are a disgusting repulsive whore. You're lucky I haven't let you go." Maria could smell the alcohol on his breath. "You are nothing without me." He repeated.
You want to make me believe that I'm crazy
That I'm nothing with out you
Later that night, Maria sat in her hotel room. He had just finished with her and was starting to sober up.
"You're a psycho! I have to get out of here. It's over." Maria told him with teary eyes.
"Maria, please don't. I feel so alone. I just have a lot going on at work and I just need someone. I need something to keep my mind off of it and.. and… I just need you. I love you"
"Then why do you persist on doing this? It solves nothing!" Maria pressed.
"I don't know I just… I just don't want to lose you." He answered, making up things as he went along.
"Fine, but one more time and I'm gone." Maria replied. This was both of their usual answers.
It's unbelievable but I believed you
Unforgivable but I forgave you
Insane what love can do
That keeps me coming back to you
Questions unanswered and problems unsolved, they would act like nothing ever happened. Maria always believed his mindless babble of how he doesn't want to lose her. She would forgive his beatings and rapes. But she loved him. And people do crazy things when they're in love, right?
Later that night, she dreamed of one day leaving the awful man next to her and having a man treat her right, an unknown, faceless man. Falling in love all over again sounded scary. But the right man would love her the right way. His touches would be soft and gentle and caring. When he kissed her, it would be because there was no other way than expressing the way he felt for her, not to shut up her pleas for him to stop raping her.
Irreplaceable but I'll replace you
But then her dream would turn sour and his touches would change into slaps and punches across her face. His kisses would be filled with hatred and void of the love they once held. He would force himself on her. Could she ever trust another man again?!
Then in her dream she was asleep on the side of the road. She had no money, her old friends would walk by and not even bother to notice her. She had nothing. She was alone.
Now I'm standing on my own
Alone
Maria felt eyes on her. They followed her as she trained in the ring. She couldn't help but enjoy the attention. Her boyfriend never looked at her enough to make her feel special or loved. She stopped to catch her breath and to see who was watching her. She looked around the arena and saw multiple crew members setting up things for the show. Then she saw him. John Cena was staring at her from the stands. He was sitting with Randy Orton and Chris Jericho, who seemed to be involved in an interesting conversation. She quickly looked away for fear of being embarrassed. She still felt like she was being watched. She peaked another glance where John was sitting and he was still staring at her. She looked away and continued training with the others.
I feel you in my shadow
My heart feels cold and hollow
No matter where I run I see
Your eyes always follow me
When she was finished, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She turned around to see John Cena.
"Can we talk?" He asked her.
"Sure." Maria answered confused.
"In private?" He said looking around at the other people.
"Sure." She repeated. She was kind of shocked that John was talking to her. They were friends before she started going out with her boyfriend. Now, they barely talked. So when he brought her to a hallway where no one was, she was surprised.
"John, what did you want to talk about?" Maria asked, curiosity evident in her voice.
"Maria. I see the bruises on your arms and legs. I saw you boyfriend slap you across the face the other day. I'm not stupid. I know what he's doing to you." John told her, not beading around the bush.
"John, I think you should mind your own business." Maria said, not confirming nor denying what John said.
"Maria, I care about you. No one deserves to go through that, especially you." John told her truthfully.
"John you don't understand. I—" But she was cut off by John.
"Maria, you deserve better than him. You deserve someone else… someone like me." John interrupted her. Maria had no idea what to say to that. John had been her friend since she first started in the WWE but never thought he felt that way about her.
"Maria, I've liked you for a while. I was going to make my move before he asked you out. I was just going to wait until it ended between you two. But I can't just sit here while he treats you like dirt, Maria. You're better than that. You're so much better than that. You're beautiful, and smart, and perfect. I love you Maria. Leave him and come with me. I love you, Maria."
The truth in John's words was so clear that Maria was speechless. John took this opportunity to show Maria how he felt. John put his hand under Maria's chin and guided her lips to his. The energy flowing between then was almost tangible. Their lips moved in synchronization and nothing could stop them… except the thought of Maria's boyfriend and the beating she would get if he found out about this. Maria pulled away and ran back to the Diva's locker room as fast as she could.
Thankfully, the locker room was empty. Where had that come from? She had known John for years and never suspected that he felt that way about her. But his kiss and his touch felt amazing. She was reminded of what it felt like to be in love, to be touched the right way by the right kind of guy.
She was taken out of her trans when she heard a knock on the door. She answered it, regretting it the second she saw who it was. John Cena entered the locker room against her wishes.
"Maria, you can't keep running from this. He's not going to stop. He's already messed you up. I can fix you. I can help you. You'll be safe with me." Maria wanted what John was describing so badly. But she couldn't.
"John, I can never be safe anymore. Don't you understand? If I leave, he'll come after me and hurt me even more. I can't ever be safe." Maria said, tears forming in her eyes.
John went to hug her, but she pushed away his embrace.
"Maria, I can make you safe. If he comes after you, I'll protect you. Don't you understand that I love you so much that it hurts me to see you with him? That I want to kill him because of what he's done to you? You don't understand. I can fix you. He's made you go insane. Making you think that you're worth nothing. You are worth so much, especially to me. You mean so much to me. I love you."
"John, I just—not now…"
"Then when, Ria? When will you leave him?" Maria didn't answer his question.
"That's what I thought. But Maria, when you're ready to leave that scumbag, just give me a call and I'll be right here waiting. I'll help you. Just know that. And if you never do, then remember this: I love you." And he left.
You try to hold me
Try to own me
Keeping something that's not yours
You want to make me
Believe that I'm crazy
Make me think that you're the cure
Maria let John's words sink in. He's loved her. He's been there. He would never hurt her. She loved him, too. Just hearing those words is unbelievable. But she believed him. She loved him back. How was she going to get rid of the man sitting next to her? the man who claimed to love her yet beat her every night and she always stayed with him and came running back, afraid of the aloneness that isn't there?
It's unbelievable but I believed you
Unforgivable but I forgave you
She loved both of them irrevocably.
Insane what love can do
That keeps me coming back to you
That night she dreamed of the right love, but this time the man had a face. It was the face of John Cena.
Her dream turned unpleasant again as he turned into her current boyfriend. And then she was alone on the street again. John had passed her… nothing. Her friends… nothing. They all ignored her as if she was a hobo begging for money on the streets.
You're irreplaceable but I'll replace you
Now I'm standing on my own
Alone
Maria dreamed of John for three weeks straight, only the nights when her boyfriend beat her did her dreams turn into nightmares. She longed for the right relationship. She wanted to be loved the right way, and by John. She wanted to call him, and almost did. But something always messed it up. Either she was too scared about the major change or her boyfriend would walk in or one of her friends which forced her to press the end button on her cell phone. She probably had his number memorized with how many times she's almost called him.
When she was with her boyfriend, she replaced him with John, pretending that he was holding her hand, kissing her, that it was John cuddled up next to her when she slept. She wished that John was there. She missed his touches, even if she had only felt them once.
You're still haunting me
In my sleep
You're all I see
But I can't go back
Cause I know it's wrong
For us to go on
She couldn't call him. She was protecting him. She knew that her current boyfriend would beat John to a pulp, possibly even killing him. But she kept telling herself that she deserved better. She built up her confidence and was ready to leave him. She called John.
"We need to talk," Maria started when she first saw her boyfriend that day. He was shocked to see her so confident.
"Depends. About what?" he answered, knowing that, even though those were the words that were always affiliated with break-ups, his girlfriend would never break up with him.
"We need to end this." Maria said slightly losing her confidence.
"End what?" He asked confused.
"I just don't think its working out between us." Maria said quietly.
"Oh, I don't think so. You do as I say and I say that we're staying together. Do you want me to hurt you even worse than last night? We're staying together whether you like it or—" But he was interrupted.
And I'm growing strong
To confront my fears
"You might want to reconsider if you want to keep your face." John Cena said coming up behind Maria.
"What do you want, Cena?" He asked with venom in his voice.
"The lady asked to end it. As far as I'm concerned, its over between you two."
"No one's concerning you Cena." Before he was even finished with his sentence, John had punched him right in the jaw.
"John—" Maria started.
"Maria, I told you I wouldn't let him hurt you. I love you and I would never lie to you." John told her truthfully.
"I know you wouldn't."
John smiled in response.
"You touch her again and I'll beat your ass until you can't stand anymore. Got it?" John said directing his attention towards the man on the floor, clutching his jaw.
He stood up and walked down the hallway after commanding, "Let's go, Maria. You shouldn't be hanging around people like Cena."
"No." Maria answered him.
"What do you mean 'no'?" He asked her incredulously while turning around to face her.
"I mean no. You've hurt me beyond repair. I believed your stupid excuses and took you back. I listened to you calling me a worthless whore for years. You said I was insane for thinking that anyone could want someone like me. I loved you through your alcoholic outrages and raping me. I'm done with you. Goodbye. Forever."
It's unbelievable but I believed you
Unforgivable but I forgave you
Insane what love can do
That keeps me coming back to you
You're irreplaceable but I'll replace you
Now I'm standing on my own
Alone
"You'll rue this day. Wait and see. You're going to be a pathetic no one. No one will want you and no one will care about you." He threatened
"You couldn't be more wrong." John retorted.
"Just wait and see. Give me a call when you have no one, Maria. And trust me, that day will come." He replied before walking away.
John turned to Maria and wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close.
"You won't have to deal with him anymore." John whispered in her ear.
"But, John, he's right. No one will want me. Everything he said about me is true. I'm—" Maria started but was cut off.
"Maria, I want you. I love you. Nothing of what he said is true. I won't let you be alone. I love you." John interrupted.
"I love you, too, John." John smiled and leaned in to kiss her. Even though Maria was in the arms of the man she loved and the man that loved her, she still hoped that her ex-boyfriend would change. She wanted him to be the guy he was in the beginning. She didn't want the same thing to happen to another girl. He would take advantage of her. She would believe his lies. Even if he is unbelievable, she still loved him.
A/N: Sooo, what do you think? Maria's boyfriend was implied Shane McMahon. I had verrry slight clues. I know I should be working on other stories and I'm actually in the process of updating Two's A Couple, Three's A Crowd. I just really like this song, which, by the way is Unbelievable by Kaci Brown. I know it's my second songfic using one of her songs but they tell good stories. So please review! Thank you!
PS: When I told one of my friends that I was writing this, she told me that she wrote a poem about the song. I read it and thought it was really good so I asked her and she said I could use it as long as I give her credit for it. Her name is Brianna… that's enough credit. Here it is.
She hides the bruises once again
By putting on long sleeves
She tells herself she's had enough...
This time, she'll really leave.
But then he sees her packing and
Begs her to change her mind...
With teary eyes, he promises
That it will end this time.
"I'm sorry babe," he whispers
As he wipes away her tears
He wraps his arms around her waist...
Her sadness disappears.
But nighttime falls; he stumbles home
With whiskey on his breath
And suddenly, his gentle eyes
Have turned as cold as death...
She begs him not to hurt her
But a stranger he's become...
She screams for him to let her go
Yet he has just begun.
And in the morning, she will find
More bruises left to hide
She'll cover up that new black eye...
"I'm leaving," she'll decide.
But he will trick her once again
He'll lie to make her stay...
And there she'll go, still hoping that
He'll finally change someday.
So thanks for reading. Please review!