Disclaimer

Sorry to break it to you but I'm not J.K.R. and I own nothing! I am but a penniless college student with nothing but my handy dandy laptop and my little dogs.

I am however open to donations . . .

A/N I am a long time reader and first time writer so please be gentle . . .

Chapter 1

The common room was as comfortable and welcoming as it had ever been. Ron had finally convinced Ginny to play a game of wizard chess with him; Neville and Seamus were engaged in a debate over Quidditch vs. Soccer. Hermione Granger, seventh year wonder girl sat in her usual seat by the fire on a cold Monday evening staring blankly into her brand new edition of HH2: Hogwarts: A History – Revisited. All seemed normal enough, but it wasn't there was something terribly wrong with the head girl. She sat stuck on the same page for the past twenty minutes silently thinking to herself . . .

It's amazing how quickly time passes, it seems like just yesterday I was helping Neville look for his lost toad on the train trying so hard not to focus on how scared I was of this new world, sometimes I wish I hadn't helped him. If I hadn't helped Neville I would have never met them on the train, and if I never met them I wouldn't have tried to be their friend, I wouldn't have ever gotten upset at them and they wouldn't have had to save me from the troll and I wouldn't be in the predicament I now find myself in. I wouldn't always be worried about death; I would be just another student, a student that's only worries are exams and who their next date to Hogsmeade would be.

I sometimes think of what my life would have been like if I wasn't a member of the T3 {tremendously talented trio.} I wonder would I be happy. That's all I really want, happiness. I sometimes curse the day I met those two. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, they probably have no idea what they have done to me, what they are doing to me. Every day they make my life a little worse. Why couldn't I just have a simple life? No, not for Hermione Granger! I don't know what's wrong, maybe nothing is wrong, I mean maybe I am normal and maybe it is normal to be in love with more than one person at the same time. I love them both, Merlin help me! I love them both so differently with Ron it seemed so natural like we were meant to be together.

I just don't understand, everything was supposed to be perfect. He's my best friend and I love him … He was my first everything, we learned so much from each other. It all seemed so perfect everyone thought so. The two perfect prefects, the two best friends of The Boy Who Lived. It was bound to happen sooner or later, that's what everyone said or it was a match made in heaven, a match made in hell if you ask me. Sure it all started off nicely enough, those little rows we used to have happened less frequently until one day it was like we couldn't talk about anything that was bothering us, that bloody git even went as far as to say that there was no use saying anything because people might look at us differently.

I am so scared about the future. We have one year left and then I am supposed to go out into that harsh world and do something that will make mummy and daddy proud of their little witch. The problem isn't that I don't know what I want to do with my life; the problem is that it doesn't conform to Rons' vision of "our future." I want to continue my education at a muggle university and Ron says it's nothing but a waste seeing how I'm never really going back to that world, Minerva has offered to make me her apprentice after I finish at the university but Ron thinks that the trio should continue on their road of heroism and become aurors. Ron wants to get married straight after graduation and I don't want to get engaged let alone married until I'm at least 27 (seeing how witches and wizards live at least one hundred years I don't think that this request is in any way unreasonable.)

I feel like I am dying on the inside. I want to feel something, anything. I can't take this anymore, something needs to change. Every day it gets a little worse. I feel like I've lost myself in this so called relationship. I just wish I could talk to someone. But I can't, I am alone in this one. I just wish we could go back to the way things were. I know that this is a ridicules request because you can never go back no matter how hard you try, no matter how many timeturners you've got. Everything is shit now and it's my entire fault... no... Wait... That's wrong it's not my fault, it's his fault. That stupid, clueless prat, he did this to me and Ron.

Harry, Harry Potter there aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe my feelings for him/ he can make me laugh one moment and cry the next, with Ron my love for him was once a comfortable companionship almost like puppy love but with Harry it's so much more/ he scares me sometimes, the way he can look into my eyes and it seems as though he knows exactly what I'm thinking. I know deep in my heart that he feels the same way I do but He couldn't just say what he felt. And now we are all suffering because the bloody boy who lived is really the bloody boy with no balls.

I can't take it anymore, whenever I look into those sad, beautiful emerald eyes that give the impression that he can see into my very soul I want to show him how much I care, how much I love him. But, I can't be thinking like this he is the Head Boy, the Quidditch captain and oh yeah I almost forgot he's my boyfriend and my best mate. Everyday it gets a little worse. I can't help myself from stealing glances at him more and more often. What is a girl to do?

Suddenly she looked up and her heart broke. but that sadness quickly turned to anger and jealousy and...

CRASH!!!

A/N well there it is, my first try at writing fanfic . . . please dear readers tell me should I continue on with this endeavour? My plan is to include Ron and Harrys's pov. This story will have a little bit of everything humour, angst, duelling, drama, drunkenness, a love triangle (not what you might expect) and maybe a final battle. But that is all up to you dear reader, if this sounds interesting please tell me and I will be happy to oblige. So please R&R