Stay

by baus

The names, the insults, the riling, the fights. All for sport. For domination. For superiority. For fun. It was mindless exercise. A few harsh words to Jounouchi at school would set off an explosion in the blonde, and appease, temporarily, all of Kaiba's demons. He just had to ignore the eyes. Dejected, hurt, sick, unwanted and lacking any understanding of why.

He doesn't ever tell Jounouchi what the nightmares consist of.

Because they consist of him. Reliving, night after night, the pain he'd personally caused the man now lying in his arms. And Kaiba's done enough hurting him for the thought to make him sick.

The names, the insults, the riling, the fights. All for sport. For domination. For superiority. For fun.

It was mindless exercise, a way to de-stress from work. A few harsh words to Jounouchi at school would set off an explosion in the blonde, and appease, temporarily, all of Kaiba's demons.

He just had to ignore the eyes. It was those eyes that filled his nightmares. Dejected, hurt, sick, unwanted and lacking any understanding of why.

Day after day, the pain in those eyes grew, caused by him, until it rivalled the pain in Kaiba's own eyes, that he carefully hid away. He bent the world to his will. The pain was old. It meant nothing anymore. He had beaten it.

And yet, it was the one thing in Jounouchi he related to. So he continued his quips and insults, doubling his efforts with the fervour of an addict in need of a fix when Jounouchi slowly faded.

When he started trying to hide the pain. When he avoided Kaiba instead of meeting him head on. When he got quiet. When the spark of his laughter as he chatted with friends in class disappeared.

When Kaiba realized he was turning Jounouchi into a version of himself, bitter, cold, and lonely.

Much like was done to him when he was younger.

Except he had fought. He had beaten his stepfather at his own torturous game. It had cost him dearly, but he had had two options - beat him or die trying.

Jounouchi couldn't beat him.

Kaiba didn't want him to die trying.

His thoughts come back to the present. Jounouchi's hand on his chest, his head resting on Kaiba's shoulder. Peaceful.

It was a miracle they'd made it here at all.

Kaiba trembles at how close to disaster they had been. Jounouchi had forgiven him, but he's not sure he can forgive himself.

"No one tells you, how strong you are." The blonde's last words ring in his head.

Too strong. Strong enough to break you without even noticing. If I hadn't realized it-

Kaiba trembles again.

He had backed off immediately, back then. Ignored Jounouchi, not wanting to cause more damage. It didn't help. The blonde's friends seemed oblivious, and Kaiba was struck with the realization that he was the only one watching the once happy teen slowly withdraw and continue to fade away.

It was scary how good he had gotten at reading Jounouchi.

He shouldn't have cared. It was simple to deny himself his bit of fun and leave the blonde alone. He was used to bending everything, including himself, to his will.

It was harder to watch someone wither away and know that he was the sole cause. Especially after having drawn the comparison between himself and Gozaburo.

He had sent in Mokuba. His brother teased him relentlessly, but took it upon himself to befriend Jounouchi and reach out in a way Yuugi and the others never seemed to do.

Kaiba watched, and listened intently to each new developing detail when Mokuba came back from another outing with the blonde. His brother was under strict orders not to reveal who was behind it all. Kaiba knew Jounouchi would never accept friendship or support if it came from him. Besides, he wasn't supposed to care. It would ruin his image.

It was through Mokuba that he found out the extent of the damage he had caused. The abusive father. The gang life. The betrayal of his mother and being forcibly separated from his sister. Kaiba had been close to becoming the last straw.

It was more relatable than the brunette wanted it to be. And it made him feel even more dead inside.

He would sneak glances at Jounouchi in class, trying to gauge for himself if Mokuba was making progress. After each outing, the two brothers would sit together and discuss strategy. Kaiba would suggest things to try, places to go, topics to breach. He gave help through Mokuba that he could never admit to wanting himself. It had become almost a business project, like developing a strategy to pull a struggling company from the brink of bankruptcy, which was something Kaiba knew how to handle.

He never figured out when he became so invested in the outcome. One day, he caught himself staring, unseeing, into his computer screen, fingers poised to write code. He'd blinked, and realized he'd been lost in thoughts of Jounouchi, wondering what him and Mokuba would be talking about now, for a good hour. And he could no longer deny just how much he cared.

Thankfully Mokuba had stayed true to his word and not revealed that Kaiba himself was behind it all. Jounouchi no longer looked like a kicked puppy, but he was a far cry from his old happy-go-lucky self, and Kaiba didn't want to risk a relapse should he find out and shut Mokuba out.

He worked carefully behind the scenes on fixing other things in the blonde's life. There would've been much more he could do had he been able to operate openly, but even with covert tactics he was able to exert his influence. He tracked down Jounouchi's mother and pulled enough strings to cause the people in her life to casually suggest counselling. Tracked down her home IP address and wrote a custom script to serve strictly ads of local therapists. Through Mokuba he found out that there was some give, as she had called her son and they'd had a long, difficult conversation that for the first time didn't end in crying and screams and repeated disowning.

He had mail sent to Jounouchi's father with invitations to various organizations who dealt with alcoholism. He had his people spread a picture of him in all the stores that sold alcohol with strict orders not to sell to the man. Knowing the ire that this would cause initially, he timed it such that Jounouchi would be out of his house for two weeks at a school trip, thus sparing him from further physical abuse. He put pressure on all the stores closest to their apartment building to put up large "hiring" signs in their windows, and to hire the man on the spot should he exhibit any interest in any of the positions. Eventually, one of them did.

Working through multiple degrees of separation, he made sure none of it was traceable back to him.

Slowly, it was all working. And Jounouchi was none-the-wiser.

Until that one fateful day. The day before they had planned for Mokuba to invite the blonde over to the Kaiba mansion for the first time. Kaiba would stay late at the office, naturally. The point was to desensitize Jounouchi to Mokuba's older brother, without having that older brother directly involved. It had become very important to Kaiba that the blonde not hate him. He didn't have to like him, but he didn't think he could stand it if Jounouchi looked at him with hatred and malice after all these months.

It was a busy day and Kaiba did indeed work way into the night. By the time he got home, Mokuba was long asleep and there was no trace of the blonde, thankfully. He collapsed into bed - coincidentally the same bed he now occupied with the same blonde.

The following day, the usually-early Kaiba was running late to school. While he was no stranger to near all-nighters, it was a while since he last needed to go on little sleep, so he allowed himself the lateness. He wasn't quite sure what, if anything, Jounouchi's reaction would be to the mansion visit. He didn't have a chance to speak to Mokuba this morning, he had run off to school before Kaiba had even woken up. It was a hefty privilege, to be invited to the Kaiba mansion. Few people that didn't work there had ever been allowed in.

He hadn't spoken to Jounouchi, or even made eye contact, since he ceased goading him many months ago. A lot had changed - but only inside his own mind. He had a fairly accurate picture of what was inside the blonde's mind as well, thanks to Mokuba, but the relationship between Kaiba and Jounouchi was a blank slate built on pain.

He shook his head. He spent way too much time thinking of the blonde these days. It was no longer about undoing the hurt he'd done. It was personal now.

Too bad wishful thinking never got anyone anywhere. He was too pragmatic for wistful dreams. He would wait. Wait and scheme.

He never got the chance.

He put his car keys inside and shut his locker, lost in thought, and came face to face with Jounouchi himself. They were alone in the empty hallway, everyone else having gone to class already.

They stared at each other for a long time. There was no hatred in the blonde's eyes. Only curiosity. Weariness and curiosity. A look, and an action, that would only be explained by Jounouchi having learned confusing information about Kaiba. Wonder what that could be?

Well, now he knew. He knew that Kaiba had been a very large part of his recovery. And would want to know why.

"Why?" came the inevitable question.

Kaiba carefully schooled his features. It wasn't the place or the time for this conversation. It would be too raw. He needed to know, first, what Jounouchi thought he knew. And how he knew it.

"How?" he'd asked, slowly, making sure to keep his voice neutral.

It was interesting, that the blonde had understood the question.

"Mokuba told me that everythin' good in my life for the past six months, including himself, was in one way or another 'cause of you," he said with a shrug, casting his eyes down, slightly uncomfortable.

Kaiba stared. Damn it, Mokuba! No wonder he had run off early this morning. His eyes narrowed, but he fought to keep the anger from rising up and showing. Jounouchi didn't look angry, or spiteful. He looked… questioning and exhausted. It wouldn't do to lash out, not now, not after all he's done to fix his last dose of lashing out. He could sense a fragile trust in how the blonde had approached him after all this time. He would hate himself forever if he broke it now.

"Yes," he said simply, confirming the truth of Mokuba's words.

"Why? Ya hate me."

This time, Kaiba's stare heated up.

"I do not hate you. I never did," he said forcefully. Too forcefully, as he caught a glimpse of fear in Jounouchi's eyes, and realized he had stepped too close to the blonde. He looked away and took a step back.

"Sorry." He said gruffly, the word sounding foreign to his ears. He couldn't remember the last time he had said that word. Not in recent years, that's for certain.

And yet it had tumbled out of him at the first sight of causing Jounouchi more pain. Either he was getting soft, or he cared a lot more than even he himself realized.

Jounouchi was staring at him in wide-eyed, open-mouthed shock. Kaiba noticed the fear gone from his eyes, and a relaxation of his posture.

Perhaps it was a good thing to have the reputation of an emotional block of ice. Act against it in the tiniest of ways, and it has a profound effect.

He knew what to do to gain Jounouchi's trust. He had to shock him. Prove that he wasn't just a ruthless, abusive prick.

He had to let him in.

Kaiba allowed himself a small smile as his mind worked out the plan.

"Come over again tonight. I'll explain why," he said, pointedly using language that would suggest that yesterday's invite to the Kaiba mansion had come from the older brother, not from Mokuba.

He waited to see Jounouchi recover enough to nod briefly, then turned on his heel and walked to class.

Kaiba remembers all of this, stroking the blonde curls that now lie on his shoulder. He smiles to himself, remembering the events of the evening following that brief exchange at his locker.

He feels peaceful now, knowing that turbulence is behind them, and now, now he can hold Jounouchi, and make sure no one, even himself, ever hurts him again.

And yet he can't stop from exploring the memories further, now that he had called them up.

He remembers sitting at the back of the class that day, on his laptop as always, only his productivity wasn't as stellar as normal. He kept looking over at Jounouchi, wondering how the evening would go. Wondering how he wanted it to go. What did he want, really?

Friendship? No, too strange of a word. Kaiba had never had friends, and didn't particularly want them. Mokuba was enough companionship. Mokuba was family.

So what did he want? He wasn't quite sure. Forgiveness, for one. He wanted to be sure that what he had caused had been undone, and the best measure of that would be if Jounouchi forgave him, honestly and without farce.

He wanted to make sure Jounouchi was in the state that Mokuba had told him of. He wanted to see for himself that his project had its intended effect.

He wanted to talk, intensely, deeply and openly. To have Jounouchi trust him with the information he trusted Mokuba with.

Actually, just to have Jounouchi trust him, simple as that.

He'd have to prove that he was worthy of that trust. It wouldn't come easy, but Kaiba hoped that he could lay the foundation for that trust that night.

He promised Jounouchi an answer to the "why". He knew why he started. That was simple. He couldn't bear to be to another person the monster Gozaburo had been to him.

But was that the extent of it? Was that the sole reason he poured months of his life, with all the intensity he devoted to his work and his brother, into saving Jounouchi? He had done many things that, strictly speaking, had been unnecessary to do if the sole reason was to redeem himself in his own eyes. And yet he'd done them without a second thought, all because he thought they would help.

He wasn't quite sure what he would say to the inevitable why. It wasn't going to be an easy evening.

Suddenly he realized he had gotten lost in thought while staring at Jounouchi's back. He came to the realization when he found himself looking straight into the light brown eyes - the teen had turned around and caught his stare. Kaiba blinked, but didn't look away, keeping his expression unreadable.

Then, Jounouchi gave him a small smile. Just the hint of one, but a real smile. Kaiba felt hopeful, his confidence increasing. Perhaps the evening wouldn't be so bad.

He returned a smile of his own. Just an acknowledgement, nothing overdone, and Jounouchi turned back around.

As the school day ended, he slipped out of the classroom and made a call ahead to the mansion, ordering Roland to stoke the wood fireplace in the reading room. It was one of his favourite rooms in the giant house. Small, cozy, the walls lined with bookshelves floor to ceiling, with a big fireplace in the middle. It was just off the main library, which in contrast was huge, cold and stony. He never liked the library, but would spend days on the worn couch in the reading room. It was the kind of comfortable softness that feels like it will swallow you up and protect you. It was the one piece of furniture he refused to get rid of no matter how old it got. He had it reupholstered twice. There was also a plush warm carpet that ran all the way from the couch to just before the fireplace. He kept a set of small coffee tables there - a taller one, perfect size for sitting on the couch, and a shorter one, when he preferred to sit on the carpet.

No one was allowed in that room save for Kaiba, Mokuba, and Roland - only for as long as it took to prepare the fireplace. It would be the perfect place to talk.

As he got off the phone and opened his locker, he saw Jounouchi walk in his direction out of the corner of his eye. He gathered his car keys just as the blonde teen reached him.

"Kaiba. When tonight?"

"How about now?" he half asked, half stated, spinning his keys on his finger and shutting the locker before turning to Jounouchi, who looked taken aback. He hadn't missed the implication that Kaiba had offered to drive the blonde to his house.

Kaiba.

Had offered.

To drive the blonde.

To his house.

Yes, that's exactly the reaction Kaiba wanted. He knew Jounouchi expected a gruff time as a response - at best. He expected to have to walk to Kaiba mansion, as he had done yesterday, then knock on the heavy door, and be let in and escorted to wherever Kaiba would be by the doorman, or another member of staff.

All Kaiba had to do was be civil, and given his reputation and treatment of just about anyone, especially the blonde, he'd be pulling the rug out from under Jounouchi with every word and gesture.

He could only hope the unexpected special treatment had the desired effect.

"O-okay," came the unsure response.

Kaiba turned and with a tilt of his head indicated for Jounouchi to follow him.

They went down to the parking lot and silently got in the car. Kaiba caught the other teen gently running his fingers along the exquisite wooden accents of the interior, obviously having never been in the lap of luxury. Teasing him about it didn't even cross Kaiba's mind.

As they pulled out of the parking lot, still in silence, Kaiba decided to floor Jounouchi once more.

"Pizza?" he asked, without his eyes leaving the road. By the length of time it took the other teen to respond, he knew his simple question had the desired effect. Who could've expected the powerful billionaire CEO to eat anything other than caviar and crepes for dinner?

"S-sure…" he finally heard Jounouchi say.

Kaiba knew pizza was a favourite of the blonde. He also knew exactly where the best pizza in town was, having initially given Mokuba the suggestion to go there with Jounouchi many months ago, and hearing rave reviews. Better yet, he knew the other teen's favourite kind of pizza too.

He actually felt slightly stalkerish, calling up the place and putting in an order for pickup. He felt more than saw waves of incredulity roll off Jounouchi as the blonde glimpsed just how much about him was catalogued in Kaiba's brain. Kaiba could simply have asked him, of course, but it was a double-edged sword - not knowing this information would undermine the extent of Kaiba's involvement with Jounouchi's life in the past few months. Showing that he knew this information was risky as well - the blonde could wonder just how far Kaiba's knowledge extended, and if he came to the right conclusion, he could withdraw out of fear.

As they drove up to the pizza restaurant and parked, Kaiba finally got the chance to look over at Jounouchi. He looked confused and still taken aback by Kaiba's uncharacteristic actions, but there was no fear. Either he hadn't realized the extent, or he wasn't scared of the possibility. Hopefully it was the latter.

"Stay in the car," Kaiba said, going inside to pick up their order. He specifically wanted to give the blonde some space away from himself to recover. It would also be an interesting gauge of whether his plan had started working or if he had pushed too far. The blonde had the opportunity to open the car door and leave, and Kaiba wouldn't even see him. If he stayed put, well, that would be good.

He stayed put.

When Kaiba opened the back door and put the boxes of pizza inside, the smell of the freshly baked dough filled the car immediately, and he saw, with some delight, a fire light in Jounouchi's eyes. There, he had movement for the first time. The blonde showed something other than confusion and hesitancy. Perfect.

The drive to the Kaiba mansion was quick, and Kaiba handed Jounouchi half the food boxes. He knew giving the blonde a useful task would increase his confidence, and it was certainly easier to open doors that way too.

He found Roland greeting them in the foyer, and told him to round up some snacks and drinks and bring them up to the reading room. He also instructed Mokuba to be told where they were when he arrived home, knowing Mokuba's presence would help Jounouchi greatly. But he wanted some one on one time first.

Kaiba then led the way to the reading room, opening the large wooden doors and setting the pizza boxes on the coffee tables. The fire was bright and glowing, as expected. The room was windowless, so despite it being still daylight outside, the reading room was illuminated only by the fireplace and two warm lamps in the corners furthest from it. He smiled, genuinely, watching the fire dance.

Jounouchi had also set the food down on the tables and was looking around the room in wonder.

"Wow. Mokuba gave me a tour yesterday, but never showed me this place," he sighed wistfully, visibly relaxing. The room had that comforting effect on people.

"That's because no one is allowed in here except Mokuba and I." Kaiba said simply, then turned to watch the reaction. His every word today was measured, each phrase had a purpose.

The blonde had of course not missed the implication. He levelled Kaiba with a stare, but this time it wasn't shock. Seems he was getting used to the constant surprises. Excellent.

"Automatic wooden fire starters, then?" the blonde quipped, smiling slightly. It seemed the room, and his welcome presence in it, were giving Jounouchi his confidence back. Even more excellent.

Kaiba's mouth pulled into a smirk.

"Roland takes care of the room," he explained briefly, then turned his gaze back to the fire for a few seconds, knowing Jounouchi would still be looking at him. He stretched his neck slightly, then turned towards the still open door.

"I'll be back shortly. Make yourself comfortable," he gestured to the room at large, and left, closing the door behind him.

So far so good. As Kaiba's consistently positive treatment of Jounouchi was slowly being accepted, the blonde was gaining confidence in their interactions. He was learning to trust Kaiba. Kaiba had just taken the quickest route to the end goal. The business school of real life had taught him that and much more. He knew right now he had to back off and leave Jounouchi alone to get familiarized with the room, to make it his space. He knew the extra confidence the blonde would get from this would help him through the tougher moments of their impending conversation. He would seek comfort from the room, instead of seeking an escape.

He made his way to his bedroom and hung up his trench coat, then removed his socks. He didn't change out of his customary black pants and turtleneck, knowing that Jounouchi had no opportunity to change, and if Kaiba had done that it would put them in the roles of host and guest again. He wanted the footing to remain as equal as possible - so long as he was still in control, of course.

He made his way back to the reading room, discarding his slippers before he entered barefoot. He found Jounouchi sitting cross-legged on the plush carpet, eating a slice of pizza out of the nearest open box. There were drinks on the table, meaning Roland had been here already. Jounouchi was looking into the fire, but immediately upon Kaiba's entry he looked up at him.

Kaiba internally smiled at Jounouchi's reaction as he came around the couch and his feet came into view. He stepped on the carpet, revelling in the sensation, before sitting down on the opposite side of the small table and also grabbing a slice. When he realized Jounouchi was still staring at him wide-eyed, and had even paused chewing, he allowed himself a full devilish grin. All of his gestures were receiving exactly the appropriate reactions. The set up was going perfectly.

"What?" he asked.

Jounouchi quickly gulped down the rest of his mouthful, but didn't take his eyes off of Kaiba.

"I.. dunno. You're so… different," he muttered hesitantly.

So it begins, Kaiba thought.

"How so?" he questioned, still grinning. He wanted something concrete to respond to.

"Ya keep being so… normal, i guess. I keep expecting you to start flingin' insults at any moment, but they're not coming, and I'm just… confused," he stammered, quietly and hesitantly, taking the time to find the right words, an activity he was obviously not used to.

Kaiba reflected that it meant Jounouchi cared about the outcome of their conversion. He decided to push his luck.

"Think about what Mokuba said. Why would I start flinging insults now?"

Joey shook his head, then gazed at the fire.

"Cause that's all I'm used to from you," he spoke quietly, barely above a whisper, his tone defensive out of habit.

Kaiba looked away from him then, carefully choosing his words and looking down at his yet untouched pizza.

"Times have changed," he spoke in a volume that matched Jounouchi's, but in a much kinder tone. Then he finally took a bite of his food, and stared into the fire.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, eating and thinking. Kaiba's planning was paying off - the fire provided the perfect distraction and kept their silence from becoming awkward.

"What's with the feet," came the muttered question. The blonde was still looking at the fire. The truth? Dual purpose, of course. First, sitting on this carpet with anything but bare feet was doing both yourself and the carpet a great disservice. Second, and more important, it was another gesture of showing trust. Feet, even at home, are rarely ever exposed. Showing his feet was showing vulnerability. And as a bonus, it could also be used as an invitation for Jounouchi to reciprocate the trust. If he did, it would draw them just a tiny bit closer.

Of course, only the first would be said aloud.

"I'm always barefoot in this room. The carpet is exquisite. You're missing out," Kaiba explained, running his hand through the carpet.

He watched as Jounouchi mimicked him, feeling the carpet as well. The blonde thought for a second, then made a decision. He quickly removed his socks and buried his feet into the carpet, wiggling his toes. A guttural sound of enjoyment escaped him, almost involuntarily, and his eyes closed, head tilted back.

Kaiba found he couldn't look away from the sight.

Then, in one swift motion and without opening his eyes, the blonde lay down on his back, a hint of a smile on his face. He sighed, completely relaxing, letting the plush carpet envelop his body.

Wow. So soon, and already he was comfortable enough to lay down in Kaiba's presence? He had accepted the invitation and took it to another level.

Kaiba knew that a single wrong word, a single wrong move would undo all of it. So he stayed still, and watched Jounouchi.

"So it's true, then?" the blonde asked quietly. It wasn't difficult to guess what he was referring to.

"Yes," Kaiba re-confirmed, and waited for the inevitable why.

He was wrong, however.

"Everything?"

Kaiba hesitated, taking another gamble.

"Everything in my power," he responded.

Jounouchi sat up at that statement and looked at Kaiba, his gaze hard and unreadable.

"Like what?"

"Like Mokuba."

"So Mokuba is only friends with me 'cause you told him to be?"

Yes, but definitely no! He needed to explain everything he had done, explain the gravity of it, without making Jounouchi feel inferior or offending him. A tall order. Thankfully he had practice with thinking on his feet.

"Of course not. I watched your friends ignore you, day after day, and suggested to Mokuba that you could benefit from having someone in your life who really cares. He jumped at the idea," Kaiba said. He decided, for now, to leave out their strategy and planning sessions and just how much of a hand Kaiba had had in Mokuba's friendship with the blonde.

He also knew he had placed Jounouchi at a crossroads. He could latch onto Kaiba insulting his friends and leap to defending them, or he could let it go in favour of finding out more. The outcome depended on his curiosity and level of trust.

"Hey, watch it.." the blonde grumbled. "My friends never ignored me! We hung out all the time, and still do."

And yet, none of them had ever noticed the change you went through. Kaiba knew for certain as Mokuba relayed the blonde's complaints to him in a rare moment of despair. Alright, Yuugi is untouchable then.

"Why didn't ya just apologize?" the blonde switched gears, and Kaiba realized Jounouchi didn't want to fight any more than he did.

"What good would that have done? You wouldn't have accepted it. You would've laughed in my face. Apologies are only for small mistakes," he said.

"Maybe I wanted to laugh in your face," Jounouchi murmured.

"Then we wouldn't be here," Kaiba finished gently, and silence fell between them again. He glanced at the fire, and noticed it had really diminished.

Kaiba stood by all the decisions he had made. He always did, this was no different. He got up to add more wood to the fireplace and adjust the logs already burning. The warmth was welcome, heating his skin and illuminating his face. He realized he was chilly then. He finished, and moved to sit on the couch, pulling up his legs, enjoying the feeling of being enveloped by the soft was the one place he allowed himself the luxury of feeling what it would be like to be hugged. He closed his eyes and sighed in contentment.

"You look like that's very comfortable," came Jounouchi's voice.

"It is. Join me," Kaiba said smiling lightly, his eyes still closed.

Proximity. Definitely another symbol of trust. He listened intently for whether his invitation would be taken.

Kaiba didn't have to wait long before he heard shuffling of clothes, then soft footsteps. He kept his eyes closed, allowing Jounouchi to take his time in selecting a spot on the couch he was comfortable with.

"Wow. Ya have the softest furniture. Never knew the ice king had a soft spot," he quipped, grinning, his eyes closed.

"There's a lot about me you don't know," Kaiba replied. He watched Jounouchi snuggle deeper into the couch, and felt a weight lift off his shoulders that he wasn't aware he carried. He looked at the blonde teen, sitting in his house, in his favourite room, on his favourite couch, grinning happily, and felt a sharp pang of protectiveness.

This is what he had wanted to see. Spending all those months protecting and healing him from afar, always working through someone else, receiving the feedback for his actions indirectly and with a delay. He had wanted to see with his own eyes that Jounouchi was himself again. And now that he had seen it, he found he didn't really want to stop seeing it.

He wanted to continue protecting him. To make sure he was always happy. And he wanted to be the one to do it. Not Mokuba.

"You seem to know an awful lot about me though," Jounouchi's voice startled him out of his reverie.

"Mmm," he agreed.

"What else you responsible for?" the blonde asked.

Should he go for broke? Yes, he should.

"How is your home life?" he asked in turn, calmly and quietly.

The reaction was immediate.

"You what?!" the blonde teen had flown out of the depths of the couch and was leaning towards Kaiba. Precariously.

"My dad sobered up and got a job after 10 years of drinking - that was you? But how?!"

"It was necessary. So I did it," Kaiba said, almost as though it was an inconsequential thing.

Jounouchi was staring at him with fire reflected in his eyes. A happy fire.

"And my mum? What could you possibly have said that made her reach out after all this time?"

Kaiba grinned.

"I never spoke to her. I merely made the option of counselling a prominent feature in her life. I have ways to influence people without them knowing."

Just like I did for you, he added in his head.

"Yeah, guess you do… How'd you pull off the thing with my dad? No one's been able to get through to him in forever," he implored, looking at the fire. He had moved back by now, leaning into the soft cushions.

"I had him banned from every place that sells alcohol in the city. Then I gave orders to have him hired no matter where he asked for a job," Kaiba explained.

"Wow. Your reach is crazy. I was shocked, comin' back from our school trip to him not being home. The apartment was clean. I didn't know what to think. Then he came home without booze, sober, and said he got a job at the hardware store down the road. I made dinner and then we just… talked, really talked for the first time in years. I didn' ask why the sudden change, and he never said. But he's recovering. He's been… nicer than I'm used to," the blonde explained quietly. "It was so sudden though. Now I know ya just didn't give him a choice," he laughed briefly, looking up at Kaiba.

"Long term alcoholism isn't cured by the free choice of a person who wants to keep drinking," Kaiba stated, looking back at the blonde.

"Yeah.. I'd have hated to be there for the fallout when he couldn't get any booze. There would've been hell to pay for his anger. By the time I came back the worst of it was over, thankfully."

Kaiba smirked.

"I was planning for that to be the case."

The blonde looked up in brief surprise, then his features cleared to immediate understanding.

"Right," he responded briefly. "Course you were," he smiled to himself. They settled back into an easy silence, Jounouchi reaching over and taking another slice. They'd brought so much food, but neither had eaten much surprisingly. Kaiba watched the other teen bite down on the slice, and realized just how hungry he was. He reached for one too. It had gone cold by now, so he got up and extracted a set of exquisite metal skewers from one of the bookshelves lining the wall. He set them down on the taller table, then threaded his slice onto one of them in an S-shape. Walking over to the fire, he sat down in front of it, warming up his food. He figured giving some space to Jounouchi was prudent at this point. The more comfortable the blonde felt, the better this would keep going.

When Kaiba turned back around, having fried his pizza to perfect condition, Jounouchi had stretched out fully on the couch, his eyes closed. He looked so peaceful that Kaiba was loathe to disturb him. He moved quietly to sit on the carpet, leaning back into the couch. The taller table was sitting right up against the couch in the middle, so Kaiba had the choice to sit near the blonde's head, or near his feet. He opted for the former. Food and feet don't mix well, and he knew that if his closeness was too much, Jounouchi would simply sit up.

He didn't. Kaiba heard him shift slightly.

"Want some space on the couch?" came the blonde's voice from above Kaiba's left ear.

"No," he responded simply, then bit into his pizza, which now was even better due to the smoky flavour it had gained on the open flame. He heard the door open and knew Mokuba was here.

"Seto?" came the hesitant voice from the door. Neither of the teens were visible from the door, so Mokuba had to take a few steps before seeing the duo.

"Hi big brother!" Mokuba said happily. Then he saw the blonde.

"JOUNOUCHI! Hi! What are you doing here? How is Seto treating you?" The happiness increased fivefold, and Mokuba was chattering at the speed of light. The last question had a note of protectiveness in it, but only barely, as he was smirking, having realized the proximity of the teens could not have come from fighting. Then he launched himself straight on top of Jounouchi and wrapped his arms around the blonde in a bear hug of a greeting.

"Heya kiddo! Surprisingly well, actually," the teen grinned happily and ruffled Mokuba's hair affectionately. If Kaiba thought Jounouchi was comfortable before, now he could see the blonde was truly at ease. He'd never seen the two actually interact before, and their obvious happiness stirred jealousy in him. It was his project! He was responsible for Jounouchi's recovery! Mokuba wouldn't have gotten half as far on his own, without Kaiba's careful planning and guidance.

His eyes steely and his expression unreadably cool, he turned away from them and stared into the fire.

"There's pizza, Mokuba," he said, inclining his head towards the table. His strategy worked, and his little brother sat up and started rummaging through the boxes.

"Ooh, what did you guys get?" he exclaimed, opening various boxes, before settling on one and tearing into a slice.

"Where've ya been, kiddo? Not gettin' into trouble I hope! Pass me one of whatever you're chewing," Jounouchi's happy voice carried over his head.

"I went to see a movie with Michio. No trouble! It was fun," Mokuba responded, a slice of pizza in his hand travelling over Kaiba's head. He then launched into a retelling of the plot of the movie, which was all too familiar to Kaiba as he had worked on the film himself. He designed the technology the director had wanted to use to show holographic monsters directly on camera, instead of adding them later in post-production. It was a good contract, and Kaiba had negotiated logo placement in the film in addition to a hefty payment for the development of the technology.

He listened to the easy banter of Jounouchi and Mokuba, unable to quell his jealousy. He didn't even know who Michio was, probably a classmate of Mokuba's. The blonde obviously knew. He realized it had been a long time since he had talked to Mokuba about anything other than Jounouchi, so focused he had been on his project. And yet… It was Mokuba who had the relationship, the trust. Their conversation came swift and easy, while Kaiba had to carefully select each word.

He felt like an outsider in his own home. Possessiveness clouded his mind, and he wanted to take a break, to leave and regain control of his emotions. He wasn't going to get anywhere by turning on Mokuba.

I'm considering turning on my little brother over Jounouchi, he realized suddenly. That… was interesting. And completely inappropriate.

He squashed the thought and forced his jealousy out. Of course Mokuba had the relationship and Kaiba didn't. That had been the whole point. Was it not enough that Jounouchi was sufficiently comfortable to be himself with Mokuba in the older brother's presence? That had to be enough.

He couldn't allow himself the luxury of leaving. It would be defeat, and Kaiba would not be defeated. He stared into the fire, lost in thought.

"-Ey Kaiba! Earth to Kaiba," came Jounouchi's voice, still from somewhere above his left ear. "Mokuba was sayin' that you told him to show me that pizza place."

He didn't move. It was a statement, but the tone was questioning. Then he felt a poke to his shoulder and stiffened.

"I did," he responded then, not looking away from the fire.

"Hrm. So what else was yer idea?" Came a curious, slightly disbelieving question. Kaiba felt eyes boring into the back of his head. He smirked.

"It would be easier to list what wasn't my idea," he said. He turned around slightly and looked at his brother.

"Mokuba, bring some of our plans down."

Mokuba hesitated, looking down at his brother with surprise and confusion in his eyes. Kaiba narrowed his briefly, warning Mokuba not to argue. He wanted Jounouchi to see his level of involvement. It might freak him out, but, as everything else today, it was a gamble.

He watched his brother jump up and run out of the room without a word.

"What plans..?" asked Jounouchi hesitantly. He sounded like he wasn't sure he wanted to find out.

"You'll see," Kaiba responded with a smirk. They sat in silence until the door opened again, signalling Mokuba's return. Kaiba moved to clear some space on the table, but found it unnecessary when Mokuba simply dumped his armful of papers on top of Jounouchi from the other side of the couch, earning a surprised squeak from the blonde. Normally he would've chastised his brother, but at this point all these documents had outlived their usefulness - the project was done. Their only use could now be in showing Jounouchi what went on behind the scenes - and, hopefully, earning Kaiba some more trust points.

He turned around fully and grabbed the closest paper from where it had landed on the blonde's stomach. Jounouchi had already taken one of the many, and was studying it intently. Kaiba wondered what the brown-eyed teen had picked up, but his position wasn't letting him see. Instead he looked down at the paper he himself held, curious about the selection that Mokuba had chosen to bring. He skimmed it briefly, then picked a few more at random.

They were mostly logs of Mokuba's reports of what had transpired on his outings with Jounouchi. The event recounts were typed up, then printed, and Kaiba would go over them and make notes in the margins. What was positive, what was negative, what seemed to have a greater effect than other things. There were maps of Domino city with planned walking routes, as well as notes on potential places to stop - a park for relaxation, a tea shop for comfort, an arcade for confidence and positive emotions. There were progress diagrams, catalogues of strategies that had worked well - favourite places, well-liked foods, conversation topics. Contingency plans for a conversation going sour, notes on who had been told what, gantt charts for execution of the projects that would help Jounouchi's family. There was even a printed copy of the script Kaiba had written to serve counselling ads to the blonde's mother.

No one had said a word since Mokuba entered. The brothers allowed Jounouchi to look through everything in silence, on his own time. He gathered all the documents in a heap and put them on the taller table, right on top of the pizza boxes, then sat up. Mokuba took the opportunity to jump into his lap and Jounouchi wrapped an arm around him automatically - apparently this was a normal part of their friendship. Kaiba narrowed his eyes at the sight without realizing.

"See? I told you Seto's great," Mokuba spoke to the blonde with a grin.

Jounouchi looked at Kaiba. Kaiba held his gaze. Both of their expressions were unreadable.

He didn't like being looked down upon, so he got up and sat on the couch as well, facing the two boys. He did not break eye contact.

"Ya know, I'm not even really surprised," the blonde said eventually. There was thoughtfulness in his voice, as though he was going through the events those documents covered again - this time with the newly-found behind the scenes knowledge. Kaiba released a breath he didn't know he was holding - Jounouchi appeared to simply accept it, instead of resenting him. Kaiba raised an eyebrow in question.

"Really?" came Mokuba's voice, having twisted his neck and head to stare wide-eyed up at Jounouchi. The blonde looked down, smiled warmly, then ruffled the boy's hair.

"Yeah. Sorry squirt, you were too perfect, too meticulous. Ya always had the right words, never took a step wrong. 'S not your style," he laughed at Mokuba affectionately.

"Definitely your style, though," the blonde was serious again, looking at Kaiba. "Why?"

There it was. The dreaded question. This was going to require a lot of backstory. And Jounouchi probably wouldn't believe him anyways. He wasn't used to telling people his secrets, but he didn't know how to answer that question truthfully without delving into his own backstory. He hesitated, then gave out as little as he could comfortably say.

"Because I couldn't kill you."

Jounouchi's eyes widened in horror and he shrank away, into depths of the couch, putting as much space between them as he could. Kaiba stared darkly at the floor.

"You what?! What the hell! You were gonna kill me?"

"Not on purpose, you idiot. I could've broken you. Done irreparable damage," he snapped. "I obsess with an intensity you can't hope to match."

Jounouchi bristled.

"Fucking hell Kaiba, I'm not an idiot! I'm not a fragile puppy as you seem to think! I can fend for myself - always have and always will! Why don't you take your charity elsewhere, I don't need it!"

The teens stared at each other, eyes hard.

"If you think all of this," he gestured to the documents piled on the table, "including you being here in this room, with your fucking arm around my little brother, is charity - you are not only an idiot, you are also completely blind," Kaiba spit, his eyes narrowed. Maybe it was a mistake to bring the blonde here after all.

Jounouchi growled.

"Don't fucking joke about what you don't understand. If it wasn't for me, my sister would be truly blind, and I won't have you making fun of her!" The blonde had cast Mokuba off his lap and stood up, his finger pointing accusatorially at Kaiba.

What? What did his sister have to do with anything? The imbecile had misunderstood yet again!

Kaiba was on his feet in a fraction of a second, arms crossed and expression smug. Well, if he must.

"You really are dumber than you look. I wasn't making fun of your sister. Quite the opposite. There were complications during your sister's surgery. It wasn't going to be successful. I flew in the best ophthalmic surgeon in the world from Europe and paid for a second operation that ensured Shizuka's eyesight returned," he grinned at Jounouchi smugly.

The blonde looked like he'd been struck. All the fight went out of his eyes, and he turned around and took a step. It looked like he was about to leave, simply leave, in order to avoid dealing with the other teen.

Kaiba, mad as he was, couldn't let that happen. He caught up with Jounouchi in two powerful strides and placed a hand on his shoulder, lightly. His hand felt the blonde's warmth through the fabric of his shirt, which seemed too thin for the weather. The blonde stiffened and stopped.

"I did it because I care. Stay."

He turned away and moved back to the couch. He could only ask, pressuring the blonde would undoubtedly backfire. He looked around and realized Mokuba was nowhere in sight - he must have quietly slipped out of the room at some point during their altercation. He sat down on the couch and looked up at Jounouchi. The blonde had turned around and was looking hesitantly at Kaiba, as though unsure of whether he should bolt and run, or stay. Kaiba patted the couch next to him with his palm, encouraging Jounouchi to join him.

Slowly, as though in a dream-like state, the teen moved towards him and sat down where Kaiba's hand had been moments before. He hadn't shrank away into the furthest corner like last time. Kaiba exhaled a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, then reached over to grab two slices of pizza from the nearest box. He handed one to Jounouchi, who took it automatically, and kept the other for himself. He took a bite, ruminating on where to start.

"I'm… not, exactly, a stranger to abuse," he began, looking into the fire. "I stopped picking fights with you after I realized that when you looked at me - I saw myself. You looked at me with my own eyes. It scared me."

He dropped the mask. It was easy, though he rarely allowed himself such a luxury. He removed the veil of ice he wore over his eyes, allowing the old pain to come through in them. He looked at the blonde, causing Jounouchi to meet his gaze.

The fear response was immediate, as the blonde drew in a shaky breath and pulled away. And yet through the fear there was an understanding, a meeting of kin. Kaiba knew Jounouchi recognized the look, and the fear wasn't of him, it was for him.

"What happened to you, Kaiba?" came a soft voice. The brunette blinked and instantly the mask slid back into place. He laughed grimly.

"I wasn't always so cold and ruthless. I had to become the Seto Kaiba that you know. To survive, and to keep Mokuba safe," he said. The brunette leaned back into the couch, staring into space. "We were just kids when I challenged Gozaburo Kaiba to adopt us. I had no idea what kind of monster he was, or what he would do to us. I just saw a way out of poverty and the orphanage, and took it. It was shortly after that our lives went to hell," Kaiba continued. He paused briefly, then kept telling his story for the first time ever. He spoke about the endless knowledge he was forced to learn, the days he had everything but couldn't afford to sleep for the fear of what would happen to his brother should he fail one of Gozaburo's tests. He spoke of his transformation, how he learned to cope, how his will had grown to squash any remnant of the old Seto. His plan to overthrow his stepfather was executed flawlessly and he was liberated, king of his own destiny, now still trapped by what he had become.

"He's gone now, but he had the final laugh. He managed to make me who I am, even though in the end, I won. A weaker person would've succumbed and failed," Kaiba looked at Jounouchi then, his eyes molten steel. "I couldn't let you hit either end."

"Not by my own hand."

He got up and went to sit on the carpet in front of the fire, overcome with emotion but, as always, bottling it up inside. He crossed his arms and stared into the flames as they danced, reminding him so much of the fire he'd seen so many times in Jounouchi, the fire he'd almost snuffed out for good.

He felt old, spent. Exhausted.

"That's not all though, is it," he heard the blonde whisper behind him. Close behind him. Jounouchi must have approached him quietly, and Kaiba was now keenly aware of the other teen standing above him. He heard him lower himself to his knees, and thought it strange but welcome that Jounouchi would choose to sit with him on the carpet.

He shook his head. No, that's not all.

Suddenly he felt hands on his shoulders. Gentle, then more sure of themselves when he didn't immediately shrug them off. He relaxed into the touch, not having realized just how such a simple thing could affect him. He couldn't recall the last time he'd more than shook hands with someone. Even with Mokuba, it had been years since he'd hugged his brother.

The hands were massaging his shoulders now, gently, in rough circular motions. Kaiba closed his eyes, breathing deeply, all but melting into the touch. He could sense Jounouchi with his back, close, so close. Felt the warmth enveloping him, from the fire in front of him and from the fiery teen behind him.

Touch-starved, no longer caring to keep up the stony pretence, he leaned back, ever so slowly, until he was leaning into the blonde. His eyes still closed, he relaxed fully, trusting Jounouchi not to let him fall.

The blonde leaned down then, and wrapped his arms around Kaiba's neck, enveloping him into a genuine hug. He couldn't recall if he was ever, ever held like this before. It was comforting, so comforting he was loathe to do anything that would end it. He brought his hand up and grasped Jounouchi's forearm, pulling him further down and closer. He could feel the blonde's breath as he rested his chin on top of Kaiba's head.

It was over far too soon for his liking.

"No," Jounouchi said suddenly, shifting to stand up. Kaiba sprang away, as if burned. Did he misinterpret..? He turned around slightly to see the blonde's reaction, and found himself looking into amused eyes.

"My body doesn' bend that way. Let's move to the couch," he motioned for Kaiba to follow. Apparently he hadn't misinterpreted. He moved to sit on the couch next to the blonde, slightly awkward and rigid in his posture. He wanted the closeness again, but had no idea how to initiate it. It had felt so good to be hugged.

He was thrown off balance as Jounouchi suddenly wrapped his arms around Kaiba and pulled him close in one swift motion. They ended up lying down on the soft cushions of the couch, Kaiba's back against the blonde's chest.

He wasn't quite sure where this was going, or what each of their reasons were, and right now he didn't give a damn - as long as they could remain this way forever, enveloped in the comfort and protection of each other.

"What are we doing?" Kaiba whispered, wrapping his arm around Jounouchi's, in case words triggered any thought of the blonde moving away.

"I dunno," the brown-eyed teen laughed genuinely, and his breath tickled the hair on the back of Kaiba's neck. He moved his head back, closer, and was rewarded with a gentle nuzzle of his neck by a warm nose. "But I like it." Kaiba felt his smile, and smiled back. "It worked, ya know."

"What worked?

"Your planning and everything. And Mokuba. It worked. I was going through a rough patch then, and your jeering wasn't helpin'. I had no safe place. Not safe at home, not safe at school. I pretty much lived at Yuugi's then, but even he seemed to not notice anythin' different with me. I was trapped in a dark hole, no idea how to crawl back out. When it got too bad, I'd try to avoid you and ignore you, but you'd double your efforts to get at me. Yer words echoed my dad and my mum, and I was startin' to believe you."

Kaiba twisted and wrapped his arms around the other teen, moving up so he could cradle the blonde's head, hold him and protect him.

"I'm so, so sorry, Jounouchi," He whispered into the blonde's hair, lips against his soft curls.

"I forgive you," came a stifled, whispered response.

Kaiba tightened his arms around the brown-eyed teen to a bone-crushing degree, then swiftly relaxed. It was exactly what he needed to know for sure, to hear it said genuinely and without farce.

It seems he was a little more than just forgiven, given the entanglement of their limbs on the couch. If anyone had told Kaiba this morning as he drove to school that his day would end with Jounouchi wrapped in his arms, he would've been the first to laugh in their face. Now, he smiled contently.

That was when it had started, Kaiba remembers. They had slept like that, on the couch, for the whole night, unwilling to let go of each other. The closeness they forged that day, a need for comfort that both found fulfilled by the other, and the urge to heal and protect, quickly took their relationship down a mutual attraction avenue.

And now, now it has been years, Kaiba thinks. Now Jounouchi is his, fully and completely. He runs his hand through the golden locks again, and listens to the quiet breathing of the man sleeping on him.

He trembles again.

He doesn't ever tell Jounouchi that the blonde had saved him.