(A/N.) This fic was inspired by Freida Right, whose own stories are brilliant and worth taking a look at. I would also like to take this opportunity to say that I support the "I'll ride with you" campaign.
Disclaimer: Emily Rodda owns Deltora Quest, not me.
It was well past midnight, but the people were still celebrating, as though there might never be a chance to do so again. They were rejoicing that their king had finally married his wild girl; after all they had done to save the kingdom. It was true that there were still people in Deltora who believed that King Lief should have married a woman of higher blood, but despite that, the people loved Jasmine. They loved her because Lief did, and despite all they had been through, the people of Deltora still enjoyed a good love story, and the story of the king and his wild girl was just that. Whoever was telling it. It had the right amount of humour, horror and romance to captivate any listener, and somehow, it made everyone who heard it believe that they too might one day experience a happily ever after.
But Lief and Jasmine knew the truth. They knew that there were parts of the story that had been left untold, and for good reason. It would not do, for instance, for the people to know that Lief had followed Jasmine to the underground caverns because Jasmine had been tricked by the shadow lord into believing she had a little sister. If the people knew that one of their rulers had been so easily deceived, they might lose confidence in both of them, which would be disastrous. It had been a loss of confidence in the ruling family that had allowed the shadow lord to slowly take control of Deltora in the past.
But as they slowly climbed the stairs leading up to the front doors of the palace in Del, Lief and Jasmine were thinking of none of this. Both were exhausted, both from the celebration itself and the preparations that had taken place beforehand. Both of them were also eager to change out of the finery they had donned for their wedding. Certainly, they had enjoyed waring it, but now, the fine garments were uncomfortable. But when finally they entered Lief's old palace bedchamber and saw the nightclothes that had been laid out for them, they looked at one another in annoyance. Neither of them had wanted to spend their wedding night at the palace, but Barda had insisted that just at this moment, the safety of the king and his new queen had to come before anything else, and Lief and Jasmine had reluctantly agreed. It was not above the shadow lord to take advantage of celebrations and carry out a new and terrible plan. Even so, it did not mean that they had to like it, and the sight of what they were to wear as they slept seemed to mock them. It was Jasmine who spoke first.
"Why does all palace clothing and linen have to be white?" She asked. "It makes me think of Tora, and not in a good way."
Lief laughed as he looked at her. "What do you mean?" He asked, still laughing.
"Well," Jasmine began. "Almost everything in Tora is bright and colourful, even the food. There were times when I could just stand there and just look at the fruit, because looking at it was just as good as eating it. But as soon as you go into a bedchamber, everything becomes white. The walls, the curtains, the bedding, and even nightclothes. It is so dull, and I am not the only one who says that. Marilen and Ranesh both agreed with me when we spoke of it while we were searching for you. Marilen even told me that she had been trying to persuade her Father to allow her to keep flowers in the room she shared with Ranesh, but he would not let her."
"Yes," Lief laughed. "That does sound like Marilen. Knowing that, I am not surprised that she has now moved to the palace here. But still, is there not anything else that we can wear?"
Lief moved to the wardrobe and opened it. To his dismay, it was completely empty.
"You cannot expect to find anything in there, Lief," Jasmine said, coming up behind him. "You took all your things with you when you moved back to the forge. Remember?"
Lief nodded as he allowed Jasmine to lead him by the hand toward what was now their bed. He could not help but remember the last time Jasmine had done this. That time they had laid together, and as far as Lief was concerned, the experience had not gone well. Despite what Jasmine had said, Lief believed that he had hurt her, in his haste to make her a part of him, and that she had not enjoyed the experience at all. He knew that now that Jasmine was his wife, everyone expected them to consummate their union as soon as possible, and Lief only hoped that Jasmine herself did not expect the same thing of him. He did not think he could go through that again, at least not tonight.
Jasmine let go of Lief's hand, and picked up the white nightdress that she was to ware. Deciding that it would not be so bad for her to ware it for only one night, she carefully removed the green wedding dress that Sharn had made for her, and hung it on a hanger that was plainly there for that purpose. As she did so, she noticed that Lief was averting his eyes. For a moment, she wondered why. Was he trying to be a gentleman? Surely, that could not be. They had laid together only a week ago, and he had seen everything there was to see then. Or was this some strange marriage custom that she did not know about?
As she sat down on the bed, Jasmine saw that Lief was also sitting there, though he was still wearing his suit. He was still not looking at her, instead choosing to study the laces of his polished shoes.
"Lief," she said, picking up the white nightshirt that had been left for him. Finally, he looked up at her, and almost seemed to smile.
"I think I have worn that nightshirt before," he said. "On the day we destroyed the sister of the south."
"You should put it on now," Jasmine told him. "Surely you are tired."
Jasmine's words made Lief feel a little less uncomfortable. He took the crisp nightshirt from her, and stood up to put it on. Perhaps he had been wrong, and she had not expected anything of him tonight. If this was the case, it would be a relief. He could not be quite sure though, she had just changed her clothes, right there in front of him, and it seemed as though she was trying to get his attention. Lief could not look at her. If he did, his body might betray him, and he did not know just how he would deal with that.
As he put on the nightshirt, Lief saw Jasmine lie down on the bed. He lay down beside her, and kissed her brow. As Jasmine put her arms around him and closed her eyes, Lief felt his heart lift as he realised that all Jasmine expected them to do in their bed tonight was sleep.
It was not yet dawn when Lief woke to find that he was no longer holding Jasmine. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that she was sitting on her side of the bed, not far from where he lay, holding her dagger in her right hand, and holding her left in a strange position. Her left arm above the elbow was pressed against her body, and she was holding her hand out with the palm facing upward, as though she was expecting to receive something. A lighted candle was sitting on the bedside cabinet beside her, and Lief realised that this was what had woken him. At the same moment, he saw that Jasmine kept turning her head to glance at him, as though to check that he was still asleep. Whatever she was doing, it was clearly something she did not want him to witness. But now that he was awake, Lief found that he could not look away.
Lief heard Jasmine take a deep breath. As he watched, she drove the point of her dagger into the skin on the inside of her wrist, and moved the blade in the direction of her elbow, creating a long, jagged gash. Lief buried his face into the pillow to hide his gasp of shock, but he soon realised that this had not been necessary, as Jasmine's own gasp of pain was loud enough to have drowned out any sound he might have made. When he felt brave enough, Lief opened his eye a fraction, and continued to watch his wife. Jasmine was peeling back the sheet on her side of the bed, and shaking her injured wrist. Lief could now see that her wrist was bleeding freely, and was beginning to stain the white sheets. But when he saw Jasmine look down at her injury, and heard her gasp of shock at the amount of blood, Lief could no longer pretend that he was sleeping. Opening his eyes fully, he sat up and faced her.
"Jasmine, what are you doing?" Lief asked. If he was being truthful with himself, Lief would admit that he was a little afraid to hear the answer, but he could not let Jasmine know that.
Jasmine turned around sharply, dropping her dagger in shock. Blood still flowed from her wrist, and now that Lief could see her face, he realised that she was frightened, and that tears of pain were welling in her eyes.
"I got it wrong," she said in a small voice. "The blood was supposed to have stopped by now."
"What are you talking about, Jasmine?" Lief asked, his voice rising. "Why did you cut yourself like that? Are you trying to kill yourself?"
Lief realised that his confusion at what had happened was making him angry, and that Jasmine could see it.
"No," she said, shrinking away from him. "If there is no blood on the sheets, people will think that I was not a maiden before we were married. They will think that I had been with other men before you." Then, looking down at her wrist again, she said, "But now I am going to die."
"You are not going to die!" Lief said quickly. Recovering himself, he got off the bed and moved to the washstand, where he found a cloth, a bandage, and a jar of healing balm. There was also a bowl of water upon the washstand, and Lief dipped the cloth into it.
"Show me your wrist," Lief said, returning to the bed and sitting back down beside Jasmine. She did as he had asked, and Lief began to clean the wound.
"You were awake," Jasmine said, almost accusingly. "You were not meant to know."
"Why?" Lief asked. If it was at all possible, he was feeling even more confused.
"Because a man is not meant to know that his bride was not a maiden before their wedding night," Jasmine explained. "Or at least, that is what Sharn told me. Besides, if there is no blood, especially on the sheets of a royal marriage bed, it means that the marriage was not consummated, and therefore no efforts were made to produce an heir."
"But I know you were not a maiden before our wedding night," Lief objected. "Why, you gave your maidenhood to me, just as I gave you my own innocence, and you bled then, so I know that there had been no other man before me. But why is it so important? I for one would have preferred that you had not bled at all. And why is it so important for us to have consummated our marriage last night? We were both far too tired!"
Lief had managed to clean most of the blood away, and was now applying the balm to Jasmine's wound. It was not deep, but Lief was sure that despite his best efforts, it would leave a scar. From what he could gather, Jasmine had been told to do something like this by his mother. But why would his mother tell Jasmine to cut herself? Was it really that important that a woman bled on her wedding night? Lief himself knew the truth, and surely he was the only one who really mattered. As he pinned the bandage into place and released Jasmine's wrist, Lief realised that despite the fact that he had learned a lot about women and their ways since he had betrothed himself to Jasmine, there was still a great deal that he did not know.
"Thank you," Jasmine said, rather awkwardly.
Lief did not know how to respond. He was still shocked by what he had seen, and although Jasmine had explained it to him, he still did not understand. Finally, he held out his arms to her.
"Come back to bed, Jasmine," he said gently, blowing out the candle and laying back down. "We are both still tired, and you must be in pain."
Reluctantly, Jasmine leaned into Lief's embrace, and he held her as close as he could, mindful of the bandage on her arm.
"I know that you know what really happened, Lief," Jasmine told him as they lay in the darkness. "But there are times when knowing the truth can make things worse, rather than better."
When Lief thought about it, he supposed that it made sense. Although he did not agree that a woman should need to cut her wrist to preserve her honour, he thought he understood what had made Jasmine do so. Both of them had heard the story of the king and his wild girl that was now told like a fairy tale all over the kingdom, and Lief now understood that if blood was said not to have appeared on the sheets the morning after their wedding night, that people would come to their own conclusions about what may or may not have taken place, and the story could take a rather different turn, and neither of them wanted that.
There had to be at least some parts of the story that were closer to what the people wanted to hear than the truth, because the truth does not always make for a good story, and stories gave the people hope, even in times when it seemed that all hope was lost.
And as Lief drifted back off to sleep, he heard the story in his mind, with the addition of how the king's wild girl had been a maiden bride, despite all she had suffered, and he smiled. That story was a good one, and if it gave the people hope, then so be it.