Chapter 1 – Obviously, Love Is More Important Than Tea

Ivan smiled at the young boy on his couch, sighing softly. They boy had been coming here consistently for months, since his parents were never home. One day, the boy was stuck outside in the rain, and Ivan had invited him in. It was as simple as that. Ever since that day the boy had come over after school, and only went home once his parents' car pulled up. Sometimes it was as early as 8 pm, but most of the time it was very late, at almost midnight or even past 1 am. The boy always looked sad to go. He didn't really talk much, though, so Ivan couldn't be sure. Ivan smiled again, wondering…Raivis. That was his name. The boy had said it only once, when he had first moved into the apartment complex around 9 months ago. Ivan shook his head, pulling himself out of his thoughts, and sat down on the couch next to the boy, smiling.

"How was school today?" he asked.

"Okay." Raivis answered softly, shaking his head, his voice barely a whisper. Ivan frowned sympathetically.

"What happened?" Ivan looked at him closely, sensing that it wasn't actually okay.

"It's nothing. Just stupid people." Raivis said simply, in a way that indicated that Ivan shouldn't ask anything more.

"Okay. Are you hungry at all?" Ivan asked, his voice gentle, and Raivis nodded.

"Would it be alright…if I asked you to make some tea?" He said almost silently, his head bowed. Ivan smiled and got up.

"Of course." He moved to the kitchen, making the tea carefully with Raivis by his side. The boy never left him alone for more than a minute when they were together. The thought made Ivan's face break into a small smile, and his stomach to flip over. He laughed at himself, pulling the boiling tea off the stove as the kettle started to whistle. He poured the tea and set the cups aside for them to cool for a bit. He glanced down at Raivis then, and found he was staring at the tea cups with a happy expression, something almost like a smile. Ivan laughed again and patted the boy's head, smiling down at him while resisting a strange urge to move closer. The boy looked up at him and his eyes became questioning, but the smile didn't leave his face until he seemed to have a thought and he tilted his head.

"Are you all right?" he asked Ivan very quietly, his voice a whisper, barely audible as per usual.

"I'm just fine. Do not worry." Ivan smiled and ruffled Raivis' hair, and then grabbed his shoulders, spinning him so his back was to Ivan, and pushed him gently out of the kitchen, following closely behind and humming a tune from his childhood quietly. A small laugh escaped from Raivis, and Ivan nearly beamed. Every day the boy opened up a little more. Every day he smiled, laughed, and talked just a little more. Lately he seemed to even wonder about Ivan, asking how he was and random questions about things Ivan liked. The thought made Ivan grin to himself, despite how odd it might be for him to feel so happy that this boy cared about him somewhat. He wondered for a moment how things would go if he was honest to Raivis about his feelings, but decided he would wait for Raivis' feelings to be expressed first. After all, compared to him, Raivis was just a kid. He had no right to push himself onto someone like him, but he was sure if Raivis ever confessed he would go for it. He sighed darkly, a feeling of…sadness, perhaps even a little resentment for his position washing over him. If only Raivis was a little older. If only Ivan himself was younger…

"Ivan?" Ivan blinked, finding Raivis staring up at him, his eyes wide. Ivan frowned. He'd spaced out, somehow, ending up with Raivis' hand on his arm, turned towards him and looking down into his face.

"I'm fine," Ivan sighed, "Just…thinking a lot, today." Ivan tried to smile, finding it a little difficult when Raivis looked so serious.

"Something's wrong. Tell me?"

Ivan shook his head. "You do not need to worry, it is just personal. I do not think you would understand."

"But I want to know." Raivis said simply, meeting Ivan's eyes directly. Ivan stared, captured by the gaze, and then sighed.

"I am just…hm." he smirked a little. Perhaps he could make this something amusing. "There is something I want that I cannot have."

A confused look passed over Raivis' face. "What is it?" he asked bluntly, looking curiously up at Ivan.

Ivan chuckled softly and shook his head. "It is nothing."

Raivis pouted, puffing his cheeks out slightly. "Why won't you tell me?"

"It is not something I would normally share. I am afraid you would take it the wrong way." Raivis looked really confused, and Ivan smirked slightly. "Though perhaps I can trust you, da?" Raivis nodded, and Ivan's mouth curved into a smile. "I will only say this: I am interested in a boy. A younger boy."

Raivis' eyes got huge and he frowned. "Who? Why?"

"I cannot say. You will just have to figure it out, I suppose."

Raivis looked down, thinking. Ivan looked at his face, sure he had gotten it, and suddenly he panicked. What if…no. Raivis would not leave. They were friends, right? Ivan frowned, regretting ever saying anything. Raivis frowned too then, a somewhat intrigued look on his face. Ivan stared.

"Is it me?" he asked simply, causing Ivan's heart rate to accelerate. He didn't respond. Raivis stared at him, and after a few seconds, he sighed and looked down. "I…I'm going to take a walk." He said very slowly, taking a step back. Ivan's heart stopped as Raivis took another step back, turned, and vanished out the front door.

The second the door shut, a strange pain shot through Ivan's chest. His vision went blurry and he staggered to his couch, staring blankly at the floor. Raivis probably wouldn't come back. He probably ran as far away as possible. Ivan didn't blame him. It was wrong, horribly wrong, for a 26 year old man to even look at a 16 year old boy, not to mention have fallen in love with him. An odd, unfamiliar noise tumbled from between his lips as he roughly wiped the tears from his face. This was the first time in years that he had cried over anyone. After all, this was the first time in years he had cared for anyone. Another sob echoed through the room and he covered his mouth, holding it back. He didn't need to cry, he didn't want Raivis to come back, he didn't miss Yao, he didn't feel guilty for betraying Yao's memory, he hadn't fallen for Raivis and he didn't care! Ivan choked back heavier sobs, trying to lie to himself, rebuilding his shell, curled up on the couch, his knees level with his chin. And suddenly the door burst open, and Raivis came flying in. Ivan's eyes went wide and his feet hit the floor hard as he stood up in surprise, the tears on his cheeks obvious and his voice cracking as he spoke.

"You came back!"

"I-I…panicked. I'm sorry." Raivis mumbled, nodding, looking all too sincere and embarrassed. Ivan's heart felt like it was breaking as he looked at the boy he loved, knowing that even though he came back, no matter what he did Raivis would never-

"Ivan, I…" Raivis blushed and looked away. "I think I've known for a long time," he mumbled softly, "and I…I…" he trailed off as Ivan's eyes grew wide.

"You knew? And yet you still come over as if it was normal?"

"I-I had to. I miss you! Even when I'm just at school, all I want is to be here!" Raivis said a little louder, as if the words were forced from his lips.

"…what do you mean?"

"I don't know! But I want to be here, I want to be by your side, I want to…I-I…Ivan I…I understand how you feel because I think I feel the same." He blushed deeply and locked eyes with Ivan, as Ivan himself blinked, not comprehending. "I just…ran away because…I didn't expect you to think about me that way, I'm just a kid, I'm nothing special," he continued to blush, now a bright red color, "but I hoped and now…" He trailed off yet again.

Ivan just stared down at him. He didn't know how to respond. Was Raivis saying…he loved Ivan too? It was hard to wrap his head around. It wasn't possible! But there he was, standing before Ivan, his face red and his eyes wide, looking deep into Ivan's own and Ivan's heart skipped a beat. In the moment they locked eyes, they both suddenly understood. Comprehension sparked between them. It was simple. No need to overcomplicate things or over think their situation. Raivis looked down for a second and then leaped into Ivan's arms, hugging him tightly, wrapping his arms around and squeezing, pressing his face into Ivan's chest. Ivan bit his lip and stared for a moment, then wrapped his arms around the small boy, lifting him up into the air and hugging him, setting him down gently after a few seconds. Ivan smiled, a truly happy smile, joy bubbling up in his chest as his eyes were squeezed shut from the force of his grin. Raivis smiled too, a cute, embarrassed smile that suited him well. Ivan looked at him and suddenly Raivis lifted his hands up to Ivan's face and pulled him down, kissing him gently on the lips, his entire face going scarlet. Ivan kissed back gently, lifting Raivis up again and hugging him, setting him down as Raivis pulled away. Ivan just beamed at him, wiping at the tear stains still on his cheeks, bringing them to Raivis' attention.

"You were crying?"

Now it was Ivan's turn to blush. He shook his head.

"I deny your allegations. I do not cry." Ivan smiled as Raivis laughed a little. Then he frowned.

"I'm sorry I made you cry." He said quietly. "I'm glad that you care about me, though." He smiled, making Ivan's heart skip once more.

"I do, moya lyubov," he said quietly, "Da, ya tebya lyublu, Raivis." Ivan smirked, knowing Raivis knew next to no Russian. He only knew the little bit Ivan had taught him so far.

"That's not fair, you know I don't understand!" He pouted a bit, and Ivan patted Raivis on the head gently, laughing.

"As it should be." He said simply. And then he heard a car screech into the parking lot and he frowned deeply. Raivis looked around and jumped, startled.

"Probably my parents." He mumbled, the usual sorrow at his parents' return seeming somehow different this time. His shoulders slumped and he moved towards the door reluctantly.

"Go before you get hurt, moya lyubov." Ivan sighed. Raivis nodded, getting on tiptoe to kiss Ivan's cheek before leaving, the door behind him closing with a soft thud. Ivan fell onto his couch, the tea in the kitchen completely forgotten.

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