It was a relatively still day for April, the icy March winds seemed to have packed up and gone home. The sun was shining brightly, the air carried a hint of warmer days to come, and it smelled fresh and clean after a spring shower the day before.
John Reese had made an impromptu 'date' to meet Joss Carter in Central Park, they hadn't gotten together for one of their chats in a week or two, both of their workloads had been heavy and they hadn't been able to find even 15 minutes to meet for coffee and a donut.
Reese looked forward to seeing Joss, she always had a calming effect on him, just being in her presence put him at ease. If he had to admit it, he looked forward to seeing her more and more because it gave him such a feeling of happiness. He hadn't felt even remotely like this since Jessica, and he hadn't had reason to believe he would ever feel those kind of feelings again. Until he met Joss. Reese had quickly grown fond of Carter and had great admiration for her as a person, her integrity and work ethic certainly appealed to him, but there was something else he was feeling and he could no longer deny it even to himself.
Reese approached the designated meeting spot and looked hopefully ahead, he knew Joss wouldn't break their un-date without calling, but still...he needed her to be there and he didn't want anything unforeseen happening.
"John, over here!" Joss called out. Reese looked up the path and saw Joss standing against a small fence bordering a beautiful area full of flowers and trees. The cherry trees were in full bloom and Joss looked gorgeous surrounded by all of natures beauty. His heart actually felt like it skipped a few beats, just seeing her there like that, he knew he was in too deep now, he no longer thought of her as 'just a friend' and sometimes co-worker on cases.
"John you certainly took your sweet time getting here!" Joss teased him. "Joss, you know I am never late for you unless I've been unavoidably detained or tied up and shot and left to die. And I think that's understandable, right?"
"Well, Joss said, "In your case those things are bound to happen once in awhile." They both laughed, Joss's laughter was light and so cheerful , Reese couldn't think of many sounds he liked more than the sound of her laugh.
"So you doing ok, Joss?" Reese asked her. "Everything is fine, John, everything is as back to normal as it can be, I'm just so grateful its all over and everyone I love is safe and sound, Taylor is doing awesome in school, he and his dad are getting along great, life is actually really good...for the first time in a very long time."
Reese could see how relaxed Joss looked, she really did look happy, healthy and at peace. He hadn't seen her much since the take-down of HR, although he had been at her hospital bedside day and night after Simmons had shot her, but when she left the hospital he had had to reluctantly relinquish her into the care of her mother and family. If she hadn't had made it through...Reese wasn't sure where he would be...or if he would even want to be.
"That's great, Joss, I'm happy to hear that, and Fusco tells me you're back to your old-self around the office, making life miserable for him" John teased her.
'Well, I'm just happy to be here to make life miserable for him. The worse the better!" Joss laughed again and Reese felt his heart take a dive into his stomach and back. This was bad...Reese felt like a lovesick teen on a first date. And Carter had no idea..how could he make a move when he didn't know for sure she felt the same way? A little voice in his head told him she wasn't totally without interest, she always seemed to bristle whenever Zoe's name came up, and that night in the morgue they had both said some things that couldn't be taken back, and then there was that kiss...but they hadn't mentioned the kiss since Joss's recovery, and Reese took it to mean Joss just hadn't been up to talking about the feelings that were shared that night. He could understand that, she'd been through a lot, needed time to regroup, sort it all out.
Carter and Reese strolled slowly up the path as they talked, just catching up on the little things, sharing work stories, laughing easily and often. Joss couldn't remember a day in the last year when she had felt so carefree and happy. Her mission to break HR had taken a lot out of her, and almost taken her life. And she could not forget that the man walking beside her had given her his unwavering support and offer to help, he had been willing to die for her to keep her safe that terrible last night hiding from Simmon's and HR.
That night...oh how Joss wished she could talk to John about what happened. They had laid their feeling bare...up to the point of actually saying anything about love...he had kissed her..and she had received the kiss willingly and reciprocated. But that was then...all hell had been breaking loose, they had thought they both might die that night, it was just an impulsive thing, that kiss. At least thats what she thought John might think about it, she didn't know if it meant the same to him as it did to her. She hadn't been able to broach the subject with him, it never seemed like the right time to talk about it since her injury, plus, she was scared...what if he didn't really have the kind of feelings for her that she had for him?
It had taken her a long time to admit her feelings for him were more than those for a special friend, partly because she was scared of messing up a friendship like she had never known before, she had had an instant connection with Reese the first time they met when he was booked in her precinct. And it had just grown from there, he got her like no one else ever had, and boy did she have his number! She laughed inside thinking about all the fun times and adventures they'd had working 'unofficially' together. John Reese could be a very, serious man when the time called for it, even intimidating, but the real man inside was a fun loving and gentle man true to his word and honest and loyal...everything Joss wanted in a partner, with the added bonus of being extremely handsome without seeming to know it...and that just made him even more appealing to Joss.
The cherry trees were full of blossoms, and a light breeze every once in a while blew what seemed like thousands of blossoms through the air, a beautiful sight on this picture perfect day.
Joss and John were now standing looking out over a large pond, the swans and various smaller birds looked quite content to be enjoying the glorious weather. John sneaked a look at Joss as she was looking out over the water...God..she was killing him, she was so gorgeous, her complexion was smooth and glowing, you would never know how close to death she had been a month before. Her hair was loose and blowing gently in the breeze, her smile had more warmth than the sun, he thought he had never seen anyone so effortlessly beautiful in his entire life. He realized in that moment, that she was where his heart lived...he couldn't imagine not getting to be close to her and having her as a part of his life, the only question was ... would she ever want him to be a bigger part of hers?
"John" Joss said, softly. "Yes Joss?" "Did you ever imagine the two of us would be standing here, like this, enjoying a beautiful day in the park, when all that HR stuff was going down...I know I didn't. I thought that was it. The end."
'Well, Joss, I never give up, and I don't really look to a higher power for anything, but I knew, somehow, that we'd be all right."
A small breeze blew through the strand of cherry trees they were surrounded by and let loose a wave of blossoms, almost as if it were snowing the pretty petals, they landed all over everywhere, including in Joss's hair.
John looked at Joss when he saw the blossoms in her hair with a bemused smile, he thought she looked so pretty like that with her beautiful brown eyes sparkling in the sun and the petals accentuating her natural beauty, but he knew women disliked getting their hair messed up so, he reached up and tenderly plucked a blossom out of her hair.
Joss looked surprised. "What? Do I have a bunch of them sticking in my hair?" "Yeah," John said. You have a lot of them in there, tons!", he exaggerated.
"Well I've gotta get them out of there, can't go back to the precinct with cherry blossoms in my hair. Fusco will grill me about where I have been..and with who!" Joss laughingly said.
"That's why I'm here, I'll get them for you." Reese moved in closer to pick a blossom off, and Joss suddenly felt that closeness of him, for such a mundane thing as removing a blossom from her hair it seemed like a much more intimate action. She felt shy and nervous, she cursed herself inside. "dammit Joss, she said to herself, it's just Reese getting blossoms out of your hair!" "You can handle dangerous criminals and be in the line of fire but you can't handle THIS?" Joss knew it was all over, her days of hiding her feelings from Reese had to end before it killed her.
Reese was reaching for yet another blossom and Joss without even realizing she was doing it, put her hand up as if to stop him. Her hand was on his...she could feel the warmth and strength of his hand...she didn't know what to do, now that she had his hand. What was she going to say?
Reese saw her hand come up and then felt her fingers on his...did she want him to stop? They looked at each other, and each saw a look in the others eyes that for a split second gave each of them the answers they'd been searching for. They both knew now that there was something there, something not to be denied a moment longer.
Reese clasped her hand and brought it down to chest level. He held it firmly but gently there. Joss looked up at him with surprise in her expression..."John, what ...are you doing?" "I'm holding your hand, Joss. I thought that was fairly obvious."
Joss felt a bit dizzy as she realized something was changing between them, this moment in time was another moment of truth, like the night in the morgue. She realized she had been holding her breath, and she needed to recover so John wouldn't see how barely in control she was.
'Of course I know you're holding my hand, John, but I want to know why!" She blurted it out like she was almost angry, but inside her mind was racing with thoughts of how to handle this situation.
"Joss," John said in that calm low tone he had. "I have held your hand to comfort you when your son was kidnapped, I have held your hand on an all night stakeout in a freezing car when I thought you had frostbite, and I have held your hand on a sidewalk where you lay bleeding in fear that if I let go that I would lose you..." John looked down at the ground for a second, still holding tightly to Joss's hand, then he raised his head and looked right into her eyes and said "Joss, I am holding your hand right now because I want to."
Joss was speechless...her emotions were about to bubble over, John did feel for her as she felt for him...it was an incredible feeling, she felt overcome with happiness. But at the same time a small voice of doubt crept in, she realized his feelings for her might match her own , but did John want to act on those feelings or keep going on as they had... friends with a special connection, safe, comfortable.
Joss looked at John who was still intently looking at her...she saw a pleading in his eyes...as if to say that he had just revealed his most private feelings...and to please don't laugh or make a joke...he was making a statement with her hand in his...he wanted her...all of her, not just the friend, but as a partner, lover, to be together as a couple.
"John...I..." she started. She took a deep breath and began again. "John," and she reached up and put her other hand over his hand that was still holding hers, "John...you don't know how many times I've wanted to talk to you about what happened that night, what we said...what we did"
There was no need to explain what night she was referring to, they both knew. '"John... I was so afraid everything that night didn't mean the same to you as it did for me...I mean, I knew you didn't say and do those things just for the hell of it, I know you that well, John Reese, you are not an impulsive man, and you speak from your heart." "But, I just wasn't sure if you wanted to go anywhere with it, you know, bring it into the real everyday world, our lives out here outside that morgue." Joss looked at John looking for signs he wanted to back out of this moment of truth sharing. She saw none.
"Joss, he started before she could say anymore. "I meant every word that night, and when I kissed you it was because I couldn't let another minute go by without trying to show you how I felt...I told you I expected us to get out alive, but I am a military man and I knew the odds, and I knew it was possible our outcome wouldn't be good. That is why I chose that moment, in that dreadful place to kiss you. I didn't see a morgue, all I saw was the beautiful woman I cared about standing before me, we could have been in Niagara Falls for all I cared, Joss, you were my center, my focus, I was trying to show you what's inside my heart for you..." Reese's words trailed off as he looked at Joss, he could see tears brimming in her eyes and he felt so full of happiness he wasn't sure how to handle it all.
'Oh John... John, I felt the same, it was real for me too, but then when I got hurt all those feelings got pushed aside for a while, and then when I was better I couldn't seem to bring it up, to talk about it, as if talking about it would ruin everything we shared. "You know what John? We are both idiots!" With that she started laughing almost uncontrollably, and John started laughing too until they both almost had tears coming out of their eyes.
John gathered his composure somewhat and took his free hand and reached up to touch Joss's face on her cheek. "Joss, he said seriously, "If I have to be an idiot with anyone I'm glad I can be one with you!" Joss saw that playful smirk on John's face he always got when he joked with her and she started laughing again.
"John Reese!" she said in a mock tone of irritation. "I don't know what I am ever going to do with you!" Reese saw how her eyes were sparkling and her face was one big dazzling smile, it just went straight to his heart, he had never felt such love for anyone before. It was an incredible feeling , he thought.
'Well, I have an idea what you can do with me Joss," he said calmly and softly. "Kiss me." He smiled down at her, Joss looked into his beautiful blue-green eyes, eyes that looked at her in a way no one elses ever had, full of caring, compassion, and now...love.
"John..you know I want to...but do you really think we should? It's so public here, we don't want to draw any unnecessary attention, you must still be on at least half a dozen most-wanted lists...maybe we should go somewhere... Her voice trailed off.
"Joss, I really don't think one little kiss is going to draw too much attention, although I can't be sure Finch isn't tracking me and has one of the park cameras trained on us right now!" Reese chuckled as Joss's eyes widened.
"Oh my Lord! He wouldn't, would he?" She looked truly concerned. "Joss, I'm just kidding , and as far as the most wanted lists there is only one list I am concerned about and that would be yours! Am I on it?"
She looked up at him with a twinkle in her eye. "John, you are on it, you are definitely on it..." she said as her voice softened to a whisper. Their eyes locked and Reese pulled her into an embrace, their arms fully encircling the other, Joss rested her head on John's chest, they stayed that way for a moment, just luxuriating in the moment, a culmination of months of want and need finally being realized...two hearts finally allowed to be free to love...the self-imposed restraints were gone.
John murmured..."Joss...oh Joss." Carter raiser her head to look at him, she swore she could see tears in his eyes. Reese moved his arm so he could cradle the side of her face with his hand "Joss...I love you, I love you so much." And he was crying, a few tears fell down his face and Joss reached up to wipe them away.
She put her arms around his neck and with her own tear filled eyes she said " John...I love you too, so much, I..."
Before she could finish their lips found each other like waves find the shore, urgent, unstoppable, with an unseen force that can't be denied. The kiss was passionate but tender, their lips intertwining and tasting the other, pausing for a second to breathe then rejoining and relishing the feeling, the closeness they had been craving for so long.
Finally they broke apart, both breathless and feeling the dizzying effect of being able to act on their love...they looked at each other and they both smiled, their eyes filled with joy...with love...with hope.
They stood there closely together, holding each others outreached hands. They almost didn't want to break the magic of the moment by talking, but finally Joss caved and said "That...was ...nice!" She laughed and looked suddenly shy and said "John, I never knew you had that in you! If I'd have known, I never would have let us go on this long without..." "Oh Really?" John interrupted her sounding surprised. "You didn't think I was capable of that? What was that kiss in the morgue, chopped liver? You've certainly been thinking about it a lot, quite a lot I'd say!" He was laughing and being his typical snarky self, the Reese she had come to know and love.
"Well ok, that kiss in the morgue was kinda awesome, and this one was really fantastic! Go ahead, I know you're going to gloat. So just gloat away!" They both laughed and Reese kissed her on the forehead. Joss hugged him back and they realized it was time for both of them to get back to work now.
A small breeze had kicked up, rather refreshing in the growing heat of the afternoon. Joss and John started down the path that would lead them to their cars. Carter was checking her lipstick in a handheld mirror, noting she would have to reapply before she got to the office. "John"she said thoughtfully. "Yes Joss?" he said hoping she wasn't having second thoughts about anything. Joss continued "How about that trip to Niagara Falls you kind of mentioned a little while ago, I mean every girl likes a kiss in the morgue, but Niagara Falls would be so much better, don't you agree?"
Reese laughed and replied "Oh, so you want a do-over? Well, you arrange some time off with your boss and I'll talk to my boss and we're there! Only no phones! Just me and you, no prying eyes!" They both laughed together and as they were about to go their separate ways, the wind carried a couple of blossoms their way and one settled in Joss's hair. Reese tenderly removed it for her and when she wasn't looking he slipped it inside his suit pocket for safe-keeping.
They had entered the park separately... two lonely people, each missing a part of their hearts, they left the park together, walking on the same path in a new direction , with hearts united in love.
