Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter; the series, plot, and characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Also, "Hear You Me," the song and lyrics belong to Jimmy Eat World and I am just borrowing them for the story. On a side note, I am also not making any money off of this.
For this story, it's set about three-and-a-half to four years after Hermione's graduation.
WARNING: I'm not going to lie; this is rather heartrending, but so far, it has recieved good reviews. I also found that while reading this and listening to the song, it makes the story really come alive more. (The majority of the portions in the non-bolded italics are flashbacks/memories.)
I would also like to thank my friend, Matt, who edited this and corrected any mistakes that I may have made.
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Hermione went home that night and sat in her chair, picking up her quill and wiggling it back and forth in her fingers. She tried to think of her work, but nothing could keep her eyes from traveling to the picture above her, on her desk. Hermione had tried to hide the picture and pack it away, but doing this only made her think of the lost times more. She had tried for three months to push the past aside and look towards the bright future now that Voldemort had been vanquished, but she couldn't bring herself to let him go.
It was hard to believe that only four months ago, Hermione was living the life she had always dreamed about, despite Voldemort's attempts to achieve his goal of purification and the domination of the Wizarding World. It was hard to believe that only four months ago, she had the prefect job and the perfect life waiting for her, after Voldemort had been taken care of. Of course they knew of the problems that their relationship could encounter and the fact that it was most likely that one or both of them wouldn't make it out alive. She knew it and Severus knew it, yet they both decided to take the risk and now…her worst fear had been a reality; he was gone.
As Hermione continued to stare at their picture, a sea of memories came flooding painfully back to her and she couldn't stop the tears that started to roll down her cheeks. While she was out in public, it seemed that nothing was amiss; as she held her head highly throughout the towns and on the rare occasions that she had visited Hogwarts to speak to the Headmistress. To the public, Hermione seemed like everybody's favorite war hero: the strong, proud, and independent woman; but if only they knew that she lived everyday through a façade – a mask to the world that covered her insecurities and hid away her desire and unfulfilled promise.
"So what would you think of me now
So lucky, so strong, so proud
I never said thank you for that
Now I'll never have a chance"
"I don't care what my friends will think; if they don't like it, then too bad," Hermione said, to a very startled Severus Snape. "I don't care what they think and neither should you," she said, a few tears straying from her eyes.
"I've never cared what those dunderheads thought," Severus replied quietly, looking her in the eye. "I don't care what they think…I only care about what you think; I wouldn't want you to lose your friends, no matter how much I loathe them," he replied calmly, walking up to her and embracing her.
Hermione gave him a watery smile, "If Harry and Ron can't accept it, then I guess I've judged them poorly."
"Even if they act like their normal, immature selves, you know you'll always have me," he replied.
"I know it's not much of a promise," Severus started, as they walked down a wet path that winded through a woody park, a few minutes after the sunset. "But after the war, if you want to…" He continued, stopping in front of a portion of the lit path that was beside a thicket of evergreen trees.
Hermione looked at him and noticed that his black onyx eyes were shining brightly, "If I want to what?" She asked, with a smile on her face, as he put his hands inside his coat's pockets.
"I know that it's not much of a promise, especially with the war raging, but if you wanted to, we could get married after the war," Severus said.
"Really?" Hermione asked, her eyes twinkling like all of the stars in the sky.
Severus' heart flowed with happiness as he saw the look in her eyes, "If you really wanted to."
"Yes!" Hermione said, throwing her arms around his neck, as Severus' hands flew out of his pockets to keep himself from toppling over. "I would absolutely love that," she replied sincerely.
He smiled and pulled something out of his pocket. "Then you're going to need this," he said, opening a box, revealing a diamond engagement ring. He got down on one knee.
"Hermione Granger, will you marry me?" He asked, looking up at her.
Her smile was absolutely huge, "Yes, definitely," she replied and he slipped the ring on her finger, as it glistened in the light.
The memory immediately brought Hermione's eyes to her left-hand ring finger, where her diamond ring now sat; shortly after the battle, she had switched ring fingers and much to her family's dismay, refused to remove the ring. As the tears started to fall more quickly from her eyes, she closed them and gently shook her head, trying to get the thoughts to disappear.
She stared at him, refusing to listen to his words.
"Hermione, you have to promise me; if I don't make it through the battle-"
"No," she said, shaking her head.
"Please, just listen to me; if I don't make it, you have to promise me," he said. "You need to promise me that you won't waste your life away, living in the past. You are the brightest witch of your age and one of the most intelligent people I have ever known…don't waste it and live in the past," he said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Please; you deserve to live your life…whether it's with me or not-"
"I can't," Hermione choked. "I just can't-"
"Yes you can; you must. You're going to go on to become something great," he said, grasping her other shoulder. "There's a very good chance that I won't make it until morning; we both knew that was a chance. I tried disheartening you, but you will always be stubborn," he said with a sad smile and Hermione looked up at him. "But I need you to promise me-"
"Please, Severus, don't," she said softly, refusing to trust her voice. "I'll try, but I need you to promise that you'll try your best to come out alive," she said with difficulty.
Severus looked at Hermione with sad eyes, "I promise."
Trying to stop the rest of the incoming memories, Hermione got up from her chair and set her quill down. She walked over to her bed and sat down; there had been a picture on her nightstand, but it had been safely tucked away in one of the drawers of the stand. Sighing, she closed her eyes and laid her head on her pillow, willing the memories to go away; wishing that she could bring herself to just forget for the time-being.
Severus would be so upset if he saw me now, Hermione thought, wishing for the strength she needed to carry out his unforgotten promise; sometime afterwards, she had drifted off to sleep
---
Even in her dreams she could not escape the harsh reality of what had been and what was now. For weeks, she had been taking the Dreamless Sleep Draft to help get rid of the frequently occurring dreams, in which Severus was always there out of her reach and no matter how hard she tried to reach him, she never could. Sometimes during a regular dream, he would just appear and start watching her, but as soon as she realized that he was there, he would both flash a painful look and disappear. But, what was starting to happen more often, Dumbledore would come and pull him away and back into the nothingness which he had appeared from. Tonight, however; she had forgotten to take the potion.
Curses were flying everywhere and amazing colors had lit the sky, while dozens of witches and wizards, centaurs and giants scurried across the lawns of Hogwarts like ants, desperately fighting for their cause. Voldemort was standing on the highest hill on the grounds, watching as his minions and enemies battled and fell, broken onto the field, without ever being heard. With Dumbledore out of the way, Voldemort had felt superior and tested his boundaries on both sides; both his and the Order's. As he watched his servants pick off the Order members like fleas off a dog, he was completely unaware as the Golden Trio made their way up the hill, behind him, until they were right behind him and Severus was running up at full speed from the side, his wand drawn and ready, until Harry's foot had snapped a branch, laying ten feet away from the serpent-like figure.
"Ah, Harry; I was wondering when you would finally join me," Voldemort said calmly. "And here I thought that you would respect your superiors and not keep me waiting…"
Harry looked defiantly at the slit-nosed creature and glared at him, "What superior?"
Voldemort hissed, looking at Ron and Hermione, before turning to Severus, "Kill the boy and the mudblood, Severus. I have no use for them and Harry will certainly not need them any longer after tonight."
Severus stood stock-still, staring at Voldemort and for the first time, guilt was clearly written on his features in the presence of the dark lord.
"Severus…kill them now," Voldemort commanded.
Severus looked straight at Hermione, his agonizing eyes boring into hers, when she heard his voice echoing through her mind, "I'm sorry."
In one quick movement, Severus turned back to Voldemort with a triumphant smirk on his face, before throwing his wand at Harry, who caught it, and pointed it at Voldemort, the curse ready at his lips, but even he wasn't fast enough for what was to happen next.
As soon as Hermione's brain had registered what was about to happen to Severus, she quickly dashed forwards in an attempt to knock him over, but it was in vain, as the blinding, rushing, green light had beat her.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Voldemort shouted, pointing his wand directly at Severus' heart.
"NO!" Hermione cried, falling down as his limp body hit the floor.
That one quick moment in which Hermione was able to momentarily distract Voldemort, Harry raised Snape's wand and yelled the killing curse, sending Voldemort to the ground, but Hermione hadn't seen, because she had shakily been able to crawl her way over to Severus' lifeless body and checked for a pulse.
"No," she whispered.
"May angels lead you in."
"Severus…no," she said softly, tears starting to form. "Please, no," she choked, gently shaking his shoulders. "You can't…I can't…Please, you can't go yet," she said, falling down. She grabbed a fistful of his cloak, pulling it up to her face, where her tears felt freely. "You can't go…I love you," she sobbed quietly.
"Hermione," Harry said quietly, gently laying his hand on her shoulder. "He's gone."
"No…"
"Hermione," Ron said sadly, crouching down next to her. "Snape's gone…he's not here anymore."
Hermione shook her head.
"Hermione," Harry said, trying to pull her off of Severus' body. "Please Hermione."
"No!" She said, fighting against Harry and Ron's efforts.
"Hear you me my friends."
"Hermione, Snape wouldn't want you to act like this…please," Ron said, trying to help pry Hermione away from the man.
"Hermione," Harry said strictly, pulling her off of Severus. "There's nothing we could have done," he said softly. He turned Hermione around and hugged her.
"It's because of him that we were able to win," Ron said comfortingly, as Hermione sobbed into Harry's shirt, clinging onto him for dear life.
"Ron," Harry said softly, "conjure up something to bring Professor Snape ba…"
Suddenly, Hermione's dream about the night of the Final Battle faded into darkness and she was left standing in a dark room, until a blurry figure appeared at the far end of her vision and started to walk slowly towards her. Previous nights of similar dreams came flooding back, as the figure started to become clearer and clearer; just when she was sure it was him, it seemed like the floor had become quicksand and she was slowly sinking. Right as she thought the quicksand would claim her into the darkness below, a strong hand reached out and grasped her hand.
"Promise me," a voice whispered, as Hermione was safely back on the stable ground.
Hermione looked at their interlocked hands and then up to his face, meeting a pair of saddened, black eyes.
"Please," he pleaded, locking their eyes.
"May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads
The sleepless go
May angels lead you in."
Hermione almost gave in to his desperate eyes, but caught herself and then looked down, only to have Severus raise her chin back up, "I love you," he said, gently kissing her.
"I love you too," she replied, as he gave her a small smile and his eyes once again looked at her sadly, only they said a very clear message: goodbye.
Suddenly, Hermione seemed to be yanked away, slowly at first, but the speed soon increased and she began soaring backwards away from him, the blackness rushing passed her.
"Severus!" She yelled. "SEVERUS!" She cried in desperation, as his standing form became smaller and smaller as she was ripped away from him.
"So what would you think of me now
So lucky, so strong, so proud
I never said thank you for that
Now I'll never have a chance."
As soon as she thought she couldn't take it anymore, she woke up and flew upright, grabbing the covers around her and hugging them tightly.
"Severus," she breathed quietly; she knew that it had been him in her dreams...not something that she had thought of – she felt his presence.
Looking around the room, her heart almost exploded; there standing in her room and glowing faintly, was Severus Snape. Hermione had never moved so fast; she sprang out of bed and immediately went to hug him, only to find out that he wasn't completely solid.
"Severus," she said quietly, in awe.
He smiled weakly at her. "Hermione," he said quietly.
"And if you were with me tonight
I'd sing to you just one more time"
"Oh my God; it is you," she said, wrapping her arms around the semi-solid Severus.
He sighed sadly; how much he wished he could have been able to stay was unimaginable.
"But how…" Hermione whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Dumbledore," Severus said quietly, "let me have this one last chance…to say goodbye."
"You can't," Hermione pleaded. "It's-"
"Not fair?" Severus smirked. "No…it's not," he said quietly and then looked down at Hermione, who was desperately clinging to him and pried her off, holding her at arm's length.
"Hermione," he said, swallowing the pain in his throat. "You need to move on; you can't live like this – you're only going to end up killing yourself. Your future is so bright; don't wallow or waste away your life in regret. Don't worry about what could have been. Please, don't do this to yourself; I can't bear to see you like this…you need to move on," he said, as he began to back up.
"May angels lead you in."
Hermione reached out and grabbed his hand, her stopped tears threatening to fall again, "I can't see a future without you," she replied quietly and then threw her arms around him.
Severus closed his eyes as Hermione cried into his chest, for what was probably going to be the last time; seeing her like this and just facing that reality, Severus had to hold back a tear.
For what seemed like an eternity, Severus held Hermione as she cried, neither one speaking, until Hermione opened her eyes and noticed that not only was Severus not glowing anymore, but he was completely solid.
"A song for the heart so big
God wouldn't let it live."
"Severus," Hermione whispered urgently and his eyes slowly flicked open, afraid of being torn away, only to see that he was no longer glowing the white and misty light.
"What?" He asked in disbelief to nobody, stepping away from Hermione and feeling incredibly heavier than he had been.
Gently patting his chest down, Severus briefly closed his eyes and noticed that his hands didn't go through himself and that he could actually feel the ground he was standing on.
He looked up at Hermione, who was looking at him with wide eyes, "You're-"
"Alive," a voice interrupted.
Both heads snapped to see an almost ghost-like Dumbledore stand up from the chair that he was seated in.
"But…how?" Hermione asked.
Dumbledore gave a small smile, "Even in death the life debt works in mysterious ways; I couldn't rest until I found a way."
"What life debt?" Severus asked softly.
"Severus, I never properly thanked you for what you did for me: you gave your life up for me and your were so young…it wasn't fair; you saved my life far too many times to count, by saving the lives of others.
"Enjoy this m'boy; I have faith in you," Dumbledore said and with one last smile, he vanished into the wind that quickly blew throughout the room; Hermione swore she saw his eyes twinkle right before he disappeared.
Severus stared in absolute awe at the last place he had seen Dumbledore, before turning his gaze back to Hermione, who hugged him, but this time with tears of utter happiness; a feeling she hadn't been able to enjoy in a long time.
"I'm glad I waited," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissed him.
"Me too."