Of Puppies and Pineapples
Summary: Juliet volunteers to foster a rescue dog until a good home can be found for him. But when the dog suddenly goes missing, she calls on Shawn for help. "The dog, he's been taken…By an angry, mean man!" One-shot.
Rating: K
Disclaimer: I don't own Psych. Never will.
For TheShulesLovinPsycho's "Maggie's Birthday Present" challenge.
Dedicated to: Maggie Lawson
"Shawn," Juliet said, exasperated, "the dog's not going to come to you just because you offer it some of your pineapple."
The pseudo-psychic pursed his lips and looked over his shoulder at his girlfriend, who was looking over a file as she lounged on her sofa. Her blonde hair had been let down and hung over the arm rest like a golden waterfall. Shawn liked it.
He returned his attention to the rescue dog Juliet had taken in the day before. It was little more than a puppy—a very large bloodhound puppy. He weighed in at about seventy-five pounds, and sported a shiny black top coat with tan fur coloring his underside, legs, and muzzle. Shawn was surprised that the landlord let Juliet keep it in her apartment along with her two cats.
"What's his name?"
"Bear," answered the detective distractedly. "It's on his nametag."
"Bear," Shawn repeated in a deep, gravelly voice. Bear perked his head up and stared unblinkingly at the psychic with soulful brown eyes. "Bear, Bear, Bearrrrrr!"
Bear rolled up onto his feet and trotted toward a delighted Shawn, but then changed course at the last second and snuffled playfully at Juliet's elbow. His shoulders slumped in disappointment, and Juliet looked up with a smile and gave the pup some much-wanted attention. Shawn forgot his woes with the next bite of pineapple Juliet had cut for his visit, and resumed his seat at the foot of her couch.
"So you're just going to leave him here when you go to work tomorrow?" Shawn asked conversationally.
"Well, yeah. I can't take him to the station with me," Juliet said, scratching behind Bear's ears. "And I've been told that he doesn't have separation anxiety."
"I have separation anxiety when it comes to you," Shawn said.
Juliet chuffed at the obvious flirting, then flinched almost violently when Bear sneezed, spraying her with drool. "Thanks," she said sarcastically, rubbing her sleeve over her face. "Again."
"I think he's allergic to your love or something," Shawn said.
"Or something," she agreed, sighing as Bear lumbered off to lay in the corner. "He's been sneezing ever since he got here!" Bear began to lick his forepaws. "And that, too."
Shawn raised his hand slightly, "Petition to change his name to 'Sneezy.' All for it, cry aye!"
"Nay."
"Jules, you said it wrong."
"I can't rename him! He's not my dog, anyway. I'm only fostering him." Juliet shook her head and turned intently back to the casework. Then she sighed. "I can't concentrate on this right now. I'll just look over it at the station tomorrow."
"Great," Shawn replied. "More time for 'we' time."
"You mean, 'me' time," Juliet smirked. "I'm taking a bath—and you're not invited."
Shawn pouted and gave her his best puppy eyes, but she wasn't having it. Besides, Bear's puppy face was the ultimate one, and no human could ever trump it, as far as she was concerned. She closed the file and tossed it onto the coffee table, then got to her feet and stretched her arms over her head.
"Are you staying for dinner?" she asked Shawn.
Shawn shook his head. "I promised my dad I'd eat with him tonight. Gus and I are going to get jerk chicken before that, though."
Juliet gave him a disapproving look, but Shawn only grinned cheekily.
Then he stood up and stretched much like Juliet had a moment before. "Well," he said through a yawn, "I'd better get going. Gus has been waiting for me for an hour now."
The detective shook her head and rolled her eyes—yet again. Shawn was very irresponsible and unreliable, and she didn't know what she saw in him. Whatever quality it was obviously outweighed his bad habits, and she smiled fondly. The pseudo-psychic took his leave, giving her a small wave as he sidled out of the door.
Juliet patted Bear's head as she passed him on her way to her bathroom. She was looking forward to a hot, relaxing bath.
The next morning, Jr. Detective Juliet O'Hara woke feeling refreshed. After tapping off her alarm clock, she got up and padded to the bathroom to relieve herself, then brushed her teeth and hair. She chose to wear a professional gray pantsuit with a white blouse for the day, and touched up her eyes with a bit of mascara and black eyeliner. Once satisfied, she emerged from her bedroom.
Her cats, as usual, were already up and waiting. Fudge was lounging on the kitchen table, tail flicking as he watched her pass. His sister Treacle followed at her heels, rubbing her long feline body against Juliet's ankles.
"I'm on it, I'm on it," she assured them. She pulled a sealed Tupperware bowl out of the cabinet and opened it. Inside was a bag of cat food, which she poured out onto two small plates. These she placed on the floor in easy reach of the cats, who immediately helped themselves.
Hearing and smelling the food, Bear came bounding into the kitchen area, nails clicking loudly on the hard floor. Tongue lolling, he whimpered questioningly at his foster master.
"Yes, I hear you," Juliet said kindly as she put away the cat food. "Just a minute."
She bent over and opened a lower cabinet, where she kept the much larger back of Purina Puppy Chow. Inside was a plastic cup that she used as a scoop, which she filled and carried over to the other side of the kitchen. She'd moved his bowls there after the first day when he'd eaten his dinner and taken the liberty of eating the cats' as well.
Bear practically shoved her aside once she had poured his meal, chomping noisily. Juliet shook her head fondly at the oversized puppy.
She glanced at the stove clock and with a start saw that it was ten minutes later than she had wanted to leave for work. Juliet put the cup back into the dog food back, rolled the canvas excess up, and shut the cabinet. Expertly avoiding Bear's viciously wagging tail, she grabbed the case file and her purse from the table. She made certain that her phone was in her bag, then slung it over her shoulder and slipped on her shoes.
"Bye, guys! I'll come back and check on you when I'm on my lunch break," she called as she exited the apartment. Juliet locked the door behind her, jiggling the handle to be sure.
She hurried to her car, feeling as though she were a high school student and the tardy bell had rung. Juliet absolutely hated being late.
The hours passed too slowly for Juliet's liking. There had been no calls requiring their services, which she supposed she should be thankful for, but it left her with a mound of paperwork. Carlton had punched in, greeted her, and after speaking with the Chief left again—to where she did not know. She envied him. He didn't have to do paperwork, the lucky son of a gun.
But finally, finally Juliet was allowed to take her lunch break, and she wasted no time in driving out to a diner to get herself a treat. She ate as slowly as she could, but still finished quickly enough to have time to check in with Bear as she had promised.
Her apartment was a short way from the restaurant at which she'd eaten, so the drive was not long. She made quick work of the stairs, shifting through her key ring as she went. Juliet opened her door cautiously to make sure no one escaped as she entered.
"I'm back," she announced, flipping on the lights.
She craned her neck as she went inside, doing a head count. "Hey, Treacle," she greeted, seeing the familiar tail poking out from beneath the couch. "Hey, Fudge." He blinked owlishly at her, lying lazily on the kitchen table beside her favorite coffee mug.
Juliet searched out the dog, but did not spot him immediately. Usually he lay curled up in the corner, but he was not there. She looked in the kitchen, then checked behind the couch (though he couldn't possibly have fit there). She checked her room and bathroom, then the guest room and bathroom. She looked in the closets.
"Bear!" she called, heart beginning to pound frantically. There was no way he could have gotten out. The windows were shut, the door had been locked, and she'd checked every nook and cranny of her apartment. Bear had disappeared.
Juliet put her hands on her blonde head, eyes wide with despair. She thought frantically. She couldn't call the kennel and tell them that she'd lost her foster pup. They'd never trust her again! Wringing her hands, she finally came to a conclusion: She had to find Bear.
But how?
Then she pinched her lips together, eyes closing. She had to call him.
Without wasting another moment, Juliet whipped her phone out of her pocket and dialed his number. After only two rings, he picked up.
"Jules!"
"Shawn," she said quickly, interrupted anything he might have said. "I need your help. It's an emergency."
His end was silent for a moment as he absorbed the information. "Where are you?"
"My apartment," Juliet said, making a conscious effort not to bite her nail. "Can you come now?"
There was the roar of an engine as it was ignited. "Already on it. Be there in a few, Jules."
"Thank you—" she started, but she was cut off by the dial tone. Shawn had hung up on her to shorten his commute time. She knew there was a reason she liked him.
True to his word, a few minutes later, Shawn knocked at the door. Juliet had been standing right next to it as she waited, bouncing anxiously. She opened the door and let him in.
"Thank you so much for coming, Shawn."
"No problem," he smiled, but there was a tightness around his eyes. "What's wrong?"
"It's Bear," Juliet said quickly, leading him into the apartment. "He's gone! I looked everywhere, and there's no way he could have gotten out."
At once Shawn looked a little relieved. "Oh," he said.
"I shouldn't ask this of you, I know," Juliet sighed, "but can you help me, please?"
"Of course! And for you, I'll even do it pro bono."
He placed his finger on his temple, cocking his head and squinting his eyes, which roamed across the room. Shawn stopped as he stared at Fudge, still lounging on the table. He approached the tomcat, lowering his hand to place it on the cat's furry side. He rolled the cat over onto his back, eliciting an indignant meow.
"The dog," Shawn said, his back to Juliet who watched on in awe, "he's been taken…By an angry, mean man!"
Shawn turned around, regarding a shocked Juliet with wide eyes. Juliet's head spun as she came back to her senses.
"Oh, no!" she gasped. "Could it be his previous owner?"
The pseudo-psychic stuffed a hand into his pocket. "I know where to go."
Juliet palmed the pistol holstered on her hip, looking grim and determined. "Then let's go."
They took Juliet's car so that they'd have room for Bear once he had been retrieved. Shawn's Norton was left in the parking lot, but he grabbed his helmet and bagged pineapple so they wouldn't be stolen. He guided her onto the road from the passenger seat, holding his typical psychic pose and eating with his other hand. She followed his direction to the letter, unwilling to let Bear stay with whatever bastard took him for any longer than necessary. She was going to get that son of a bitch if it was the last thing she did.
It wasn't far.
Soon enough, Juliet recognized her surroundings. It was the neighborhood in which her partner lived. He was so going to be pissed that a dogfight ringleader lived here.
"Stop at the third house here on the right," Shawn said mystically. He dropped his hand, slumping back into his seat as though exhausted.
"Third on the right?" Juliet repeated, brow creasing. "But that's…"
She slowed to a stop, craning her neck to peer past Shawn through his window. It was Lassiter's house to which Shawn had directed her. Parking the car with an automatic, jerky movement, she stumbled out of the car unable to believe her eyes.
On the green lawn, Carlton Lassiter was sprawled as a large bloodhound pup danced around him, tail wagging fiercely and pink tongue lolling. The dog paused in his play as Carlton remained still, then cautiously sniffed at his ear. The detective took the opportunity for a surprise attack, lunging at the startled pup with a guttural cry and tackling him to the grass.
Bear howled playfully, squirming out of Lassiter's grasp and bounding a few paces away. He bowed, nearly falling over with the force of his own wagging. Carlton rolled over onto his hands and knees, preparing to pounce.
Juliet's shock finally gave way to the humor of the situation. She snickered, raising a hand to stop herself, but then burst out into laughter.
Bear looked up at the sound, ears perked. Recognizing Juliet he left his game and trotted over to her for attention. Carlton sat up and spotted her at last, then quickly stood and brushed himself off, looking thoroughly embarrassed.
He cleared his throat when Juliet looked up at him, blue eyes sparkling with amusement. At that moment Shawn decided to get out of the car as well to announce his presence. He was grinning ear to ear.
"So you got my note," Carlton said, nodding curtly.
Juliet looked startled. "Note? No, I called Shawn when I couldn't find Bear anywhere."
Carlton frowned. "I left a note."
"You couldn't have called?!"
"I didn't want to bother you!"
Shawn sidled up before the partners could get into a heated argument. "If I may…"
"What?!" they snapped at him in unison.
Unperturbed, the younger Spencer reached into his pocket and, smirking mischievously, pulled out a small scrap of crumpled paper. He carefully smoothed it out between his fingers, succeeding only in smearing pineapple juice on it.
"That's my note," Carlton said, looking half surprised and half suspicious.
Juliet scowled. "But how could I have missed it? And why didn't you tell me?"
"I've told you, Jules," Shawn said, raising his eyebrows innocently. "Your cats are evil. One was laying on it, on the table. I forced him to confess and took the note. And I did tell you Lassie-face had Bear."
"You said 'an angry, mean man'," Juliet corrected him, waggling a finger at him.
"But was I wrong?" He cockily stuffed the last few pieces of pineapple into his mouth, chewing obnoxiously.
The detectives rolled their eyes at the psychic's antics. Juliet addressed Carlton again: "But why were you at my apartment in the first place?"
"I was returning your coffee mug. You left it in my car the day before," he shrugged. "I let myself in with the key you'd given me, and I felt bad for the dog because he's allergic to your cats."
"That's what it is," Juliet said, relief etched on her face. "I thought it might have been my carpet cleaner or something."
Shawn grimaced with disbelief, turning to Juliet. "You gave Lassie a key to your apartment and not me?" Then he turned to Lassiter. "You drove all the way to her apartment to drop it off instead of stopping at the police station?"
"Chief Vick forced me to take a day off," Carlton answered, looking sad. "I'm not allowed to set foot in the station for at least twenty-four hours."
It was Juliet's turn to be indignant. "Chief gave you a day off but not me?"
Carlton's eyebrows shot up suddenly, and he looked around. "Where did he go?"
The other two noticed the dog's disappearance as well, and searched around, heads swiveling in all directions. They shared a look. Shawn put a finger to his temple.
"Here we go again!"
END.