Touch my Scars
by Blackened Wing

Rating: M

Summary: AU version of Blood Moon Chapter 22. What if Zero wasn't able to release Kaname's power back to him so soon and Kaname's scars did not fade right away? What if they made love while Kaname was still weak and very much in need of someone who could touch his scars and see his heart?

Warnings: Mild-Moderate Citrus. Don't read if you don't like male/male.

Pairings: Kaname x Zero

Series: This story is part of the Duet Series, which follows Kaname and Zero and their relationship as based off of my story "Crimson Door". More specifically, this is an AU / alternate scene for Blood Moon Chapter 22, although it doesn't really fit with the rest of the story.

Disclaimer: Vampire Knight and its characters do not belong to me. They belong to their inspired creator Matsuri Hino. I borrow them without permission, but with great affection. This story is for entertainment purposes only; no money is being made from it.

Important: Like all the rest of my works, everything is AU from the Vampire Knight Manga as of Chapter 33. This is not really a standalone piece and it will make much more sense if you read the first 21 chapters of Blood Moon. But if you want to give it a try by itself, it will probably still mostly make sense.

A/N: This little what-if was inspired by YenGirl who wondered what might have happened if Kaname's scars had not healed so quickly... and started the chain reaction that ended up with this bunny biting me and not letting me go. XD Yen also beta'ed this story for me, so a huge, thanks goes out to her for her help with that as well!

A song that goes excellently with this fic is "All I Need" by Within Temptation. This story is more emotional than steamy, but hopefully it will be enjoyable. :) One small thing I should probably mention: this story alludes to an as yet unwritten back story for Kaname that I've hinted vaguely at before in both Crimson Door and Blood Moon. Sometime I will be writing this story, but for right now it's not really important to know anything about it save the bits mentioned in the fic.

This story starts similarly to the events in Chapter 22, but here the transfer of power has not been initiated yet, so the touching is just touching. Also, Zero isn't yet in critical need of releasing the seal, so he's not yet suffering serious ill effects from it. The first few italicized paragraphs are from the actual chapter 22, then things spin off and start becoming different.

Zero rolled onto his side to face Kaname. The way the pureblood's left arm rested against the bed between them exposed the soft, scarred underside of his forearm. Zero pushed the sleeve a little further up, and once more touched those scars with his lips. He caressed them, kissing the wounded skin tenderly as he let the power flow between them once more. His moist lips and tongue gently traced and worried the uneven lines, feeling the texture and adoring them silently.

Kaname seemed surprised. He groaned softly, finding the areas around the scar tissue to be very sensitive. Zero's attentions were beautiful, but he still ached a bit at having such an imperfect body to offer the other. "Zero... don't..." he murmured hoarsely, barely able to breathe. "They're... they're ugly..."

Zero looked up at him, truly nonplussed. "Idiot..." he murmured softly. "You got these saving others' lives... how can that be ugly?" He reached out and tenderly caressed one of the scars on Kaname's chest, leaning forward and kissing it softly before looking back towards the pureblood again. "I think they're beautiful," he whispered honestly. "Like your heart."

Zero leaned closer again, tenderly kissing and caressing the scars on Kaname's chest. Adoring and lavishing each one attentively, letting the warmth of his sincerity burn in his heart, and in his deep amethyst and sliver eyes as he lifted his head a little. He let his gaze fix deliberately on the pureblood for a long moment before he softly trailed his tongue along a scar above Kaname's right nipple.

Maybe the rest of the vampire world would see these marks as ugly, but Zero did not. Maybe they would see Kaname's gentle heart and willingness to put himself in jeopardy for those whom society deemed less worthy to be weakness or insanity... but Zero knew better. That heart was a treasure, and it was what had first drawn him to Kaname. The rest of the vampire world could just go to hell.

Zero's lips were warm and delightful against Kaname's skin and the pureblood groaned softly, his heart catching hard in his chest when the hunter's eyes briefly fixed upon him with such deep intensity. His long fingers slid into Zero's hair, lacing in the silver tresses as if marveling at their softness. Zero saw things so differently from everyone else... and Kaname adored him for that. The hunter filled his heart and soul in impossible ways.

Despite all the agony and confusion they had been through, all the misunderstandings and hurt feelings… somehow, when Zero looked at him, Kaname felt as if the hunter saw right through him, down to his heart. The pureblood did not fancy that to be a pleasant sight. To him it seemed more scarred even than his body, dark in places he could never reclaim and weighted by too many burdens, taken on far too early in life. And yet... there was that unfathomable acceptance in Zero's eyes. The hunter didn't shy away from him, didn't run from the wounded darkness of his soul. Instead, he seemed to reach out towards it with the same tender earnesty with which he was lavishing the pureblood's physical scars.

Zero saw the soft but achingly deep, dark well of pain flickering behind Kaname's eyes as they held his. The normally powerful and dynamic pureblood seemed so unusually fragile and vulnerable at moments like this, when he let Zero see into his true self. When he let Zero see the hurting, confused heart that felt it did not deserve to be loved, and feared rejection from the one person for whom it most longed.

Every fiber of the hunter's being responded to that pain. It was so familiar... he knew it all too well. Knew what it was to hide behind thick, protective walls, because you just knew that if anyone saw the real you, they would hate what they found and run away, leaving you alone...

Tenderly, Zero cupped one side of Kaname's face in his palm, holding him gently with his eyes, with his touch, with his heart. "Don't hide from me, Kaname..." he murmured. "Your scars won't chase me away." He obviously meant so much more than just the physical ones. The fingertips of his other hand caressed Kaname's neck, making the pureblood's body tremble against the bed, those lovely, sculpted lips parting slightly in soundless rapture as his gaze held onto Zero like a drowning man clutching a lifeline.

Kaname knew he'd never done anything to deserve someone like this. Zero had no idea how deeply his scars ran. No idea the intensely damaged goods he was inheriting in so many ways... but the ex-human's tender gaze gave him hope that maybe even if he did know...

Zero's warm, moist lips traced the long scar on Kaname's jaw and cheekbone with the utmost tenderness. There was familiarity there, and acceptance, and... something so deep Kaname did not dare yet put a name to it.

Embarrassing tears welled completely unbidden in the pureblood's dark red-brown eyes, threatening to spill over. He closed them quickly, swallowing raggedly with something like a little half moan as Zero's skillful thumb found the most sensitive part of his bite area, right at the base of his throat where neck met shoulder. It was a naturally sensitive, erogenous zone for vampires, but between bonded lovers it was even more so. Repeated penetration of the area from the same set of fangs heightened the sensations, especially in response to the owner of those fangs. Zero rubbed deep, exotic circles into the skin made especially sensitive by his own frequent attentions to his lover's neck and Kaname shuddered uncontrollably.

Soft lips brushed feather-light kisses against Kaname's wet lashes. "Don't hide..." Zero murmured again, his voice husky now with emotion as much as desire. "Let me see."

Kaname's eyes slowly blinked open again, swimming with a mix of pleasure, suppressed heartache and awe. He let Zero see. He let him see everything... all the hurt, fear and pain, but also hope, and earnest adoration. And in Zero's quiet, gentle gaze, he found only acceptance. Found the light of kindred pain, kindred suffering... and kindred hope. Perhaps only two hearts heart so deeply scarred along the same achingly familiar paths could ever connect this deeply. He stroked Zero's cheek with the back of his knuckles almost reverently.

"Zero..." he murmured softly, the word itself like a caress.

The soft sound shivered through Zero's body and he leaned in closer, kissing Kaname's jaw, his neck, his chest... Gently, he rolled Kaname onto his back and leaned over him, now possessing greater access to the pureblood's beautiful, scarred body.

Kaname felt his heart pounding in his ribcage as Zero's lips worked back and forth across his skin. He was still in a very weak state and the sudden increase of his pulse made his head spin. It was so beautiful though, it filled him with such joy to have Zero close like this... to have him express such desire...

Zero leaned on his elbow over Kaname, one hand now exploring the other's flat, smooth abdomen. The pureblood shivered so invitingly under him and Zero felt his pulse throb in his veins, blood and heat rushing straight to his groin as his fingers slid down beneath the waistband of Kaname's trousers. With Kaname's power still bound to him, his growing desire was an especially intense sensation.

Kaname sucked in his breath in delight, back arching slightly as Zero's questing fingers found him, stroking his rapidly hardening flesh within the confines of his clothing. The surge in his adrenaline as arousal began to burn through his veins was almost too much for him and he clung dizzily to Zero, one hand gripping his lover's shoulder, the other curling into the sheets beneath him as if he thought he was going to float away.

Zero continued to stroke him slowly and Kaname rocked into his touch, the fire building within him growing until he couldn't take the slow, tender torture anymore and his fingers knotted more urgently in the short sleeve of Zero's pajamas. "Zero..." he pleaded softly, his other hand tugging ineffectually at the buttons on the other boy's shirt. He was so dizzy with need; he couldn't seem to be able to make his fingers work properly.

Zero understood and he quickly unbuttoned the soft pajama top and slid out of it. Shifting his position, he undid the pureblood's pants and pulled them down the slim hips, his gaze holding Kaname's as the pureblood lifted his body to ease their removal. Kaname's face was flushed and his breath was coming rapidly between slightly parted lips as he watched Zero with intent, hungry eyes.

Zero settled on his knees between Kaname's legs, letting his gaze sweep the other's body heatedly. There was a long, pale scar running along Kaname's right thigh, tracing a line from the front of his leg, above his knee, to his inner thigh higher up. Kaname knew this and as he saw Zero's gaze land on it, a soft thrill shot up his spine. How quickly, Zero had changed his outlook, had made him no longer ashamed of the disfiguring marks... had made him anticipate exactly what was going to happen next.

Zero bent, kissing the end of the scar above Kaname's knee, slowly working his way along the length of it, edging slowly higher and higher up the pureblood's now slightly trembling thigh. Kaname easily shifted his legs father apart, letting Zero do as he pleased, his chest continuing to heave softly. Zero's sensual, tender touches felt so incredibly good, he could barely think.

Zero felt his own breath tremble slightly against the warm skin under his mouth. Fire rippled in his core and throbbed inside him. Kaname's obvious desire and near helplessness was deeply enticing, but he could also feel the weakness in the other's body and his movements remained very tender as he sucked slowly on the faint, puckered line of the scar, flicking and playing his tongue against the uneven surface.

Kaname's head pressed back harder against the pillow and he groaned softly. For the past two weeks, those scars had ached dully, his body's way of trying to indicate that something was wrong, that it was trying and failing to completely heal itself from the injury he had taken. A human might not have felt anything anymore, but for him the area around the scarring was still tender and very sensitive. Now though, instead of discomfort or pain, they burned with pleasure, alight with the flame of delight that Zero had kindled in each of them with his ministrations.

Zero's whole body thrilled at the sound of Kaname's pleasure and he sat up long enough to wriggle quickly out of his pajama pants, needing much more intimate contact. As he slid up Kaname's body, feeling their hard flesh rub together with a soft sigh of intense pleasure, he realized that this was a little unique for them. Usually Kaname was the driving force of their intimate encounters, but without even realizing what he was doing, Zero knew he was the one setting the pace right now.

Kaname wrapped his arms around Zero's back as the boy leaned over him on the bed, resting on his elbows on either side of the pureblood's body. Zero's hands curled into loose fists by Kaname's head as he slowly pressed down, rubbing his hips firmly and exotically against his lover's, letting their arousals slip and slide together, hard flesh chafing hard flesh, digging into one another's abdomens, deliciously trapped between the friction and flaring heat of their bodies.

Kaname groaned almost helplessly, his fingers digging into Zero's back, feeling the muscles ripple as his lover pushed down against him. His own hips rocked eagerly into the rhythm, pressing up against Zero, hungrily displaying his need and desire.

Zero bent his head to Kaname's neck, teasing his bite area again with lips and tongue and Kaname's soft moans became more urgent, the pale, supple body straining to press harder against that of his lover as pleasure spiraled almost out of control.

Zero's heart thudded against Kaname's chest, utterly enraptured by the intense waves of delight and desire rolling off the other vampire. Every fiber in his being ached to please Kaname, to make him happy. Lightly, Zero nipped at Kaname's neck, letting his sharp, now almost fully aroused fangs press and scrape teasingly against the throbbing pulse under his tongue. He didn't bite him, and he didn't intend to, not when Kaname was this weak, but he let his fangs tempt and prick the insanely sensitive flesh, sending raw jolts of sheer pleasure zinging through his partner's body.

Kaname barely stifled a soft cry, his body jerking in Zero's arms. Pleasure burned white-hot inside him, throbbing in waves from both his neck and his groin. He whimpered in ecstasy, biting his lower lip. He accidentally bit through his lip, not having realized his own fangs had extended, but the small pain barely registered.

Zero smelled Kaname's blood and it hit him like a delicious version of a punch in the gut. He lifted his head and saw the source. Kaname should have healed already, but he hadn't and a small drop of crimson was trailing down his chin. His face a few inches from the pureblood's, Zero licked the drop away and sucked on Kaname's damaged lower lip with tender sensuality. Their eyes locked and held and he could feel Kaname's quickened breaths brushing his face. His body shivered at the delicious taste, and at the deepness he saw in Kaname's eyes.

Zero's eyes were shot through with red from the taste of blood, and Kaname gazed into them, mesmerized. At this moment, he very much wanted Zero to bite him, even though he knew his body would hardly be able to stand the strain of losing any blood in his condition. Already, he was nearly delirious just from the pleasure and wildly spiking adrenaline.

Zero's saliva didn't have the same healing property that his did, but it had some and the pureblood's lip didn't remotely hurt anymore and was no longer bleeding when Zero finally released it. When he felt Zero's hand slide down his body and dip between his legs, probing him gently, Kaname ceded easily to the natural progression. He bent his knees, letting them hug his lover's sides. He wanted Zero in any way Zero wanted him.

But as the ex-human's slick fingers slipped inside him, Kaname felt a totally unexpected and unjustified wave of fear tighten in his stomach and catch in his throat. Disjointed flashes of memories seared through his reeling, vulnerable mind.

Soft white sheets, mocking in their virginal illusion of innocence, slowly staining red with his blood. Dark, cruel eyes and ruthless hands. His throat was raw, nearly choking on his screams...

The pureblood broke out in a cold sweat and suddenly he couldn't breathe. It had nothing to do with Zero, nor his gentle, pleasurable touch. Kaname was not afraid of surrendering to the hunter, in whose hands he knew he was completely and utterly safe... but not all Kaname's scars were of the visible kind. Humiliation flushed his body, partially from the memories, and partially because they had surfaced so unexpectedly and at such an inopportune moment. Why? Why now, when they'd lain dormant so long? He'd never had those kind of flashes before when Zero took him. Never seen anyone's face but Zero's when they made love.

But Kaname was weak right now. His mental and physical resistance were both low and things which were usually kept locked away were apparently riding dangerously close to the surface. He'd been weak then too... unable to fight, unable to break the chains that kept him bound helpless to the bed...

Shame choked the pureblood, nearly suffocating him. He felt sick. The fact that his past was intruding into his and Zero's intimacy was unforgivable. He didn't deserve Zero's gentle, loving touches. He was dirty. He felt like he was bringing filth and darkness into something beautiful, like somehow he might hurt Zero just by its presence in his memories, might soil him with the deep, deep stains on his own soul. A soft sob caught in his chest.

Zero froze. The wild swing in Kaname's body language from delighted and aroused to tense and... and terrified caught him completely by surprise. Concern stabbed through his gut, making him feel a little sick too. What had he done wrong? Had he hurt Kaname by accident? He knew the pureblood was unusually weakened right now, and with that same power currently bound to him, it was possible he was a lot stronger than he might realize, but he was so sure he'd been gentle...

The soft sob that Kaname tried desperately to muffle and hide tore at Zero's heart. He withdrew his hand quickly and cupped the pureblood's face tenderly between his hands instead, kneeling over him now rather than laying on him, trying to make his presence less threatening by giving his lover more freedom of movement.

Kaname knew it was stupid, but it felt like Zero was pulling away from him because the hunter could somehow tell that he was dirty and tears stung the pureblood's eyes. His arms tightened urgently around Zero's back, not wanting him to go. Desperately needing him to stay.

"I'm sorry, please don't stop..." Kaname begged softly, his voice quavering unforgivably. His knees hugged Zero's hips tightly, despite the agonized churning in his gut. "It's fine, really, just... don't... don't go..."

Zero choked on the tense knot that constricted his throat, his eyes stinging at the sight of the raw desperation and sheer pain in the other's usually strong and confident eyes. What is this, Kaname? I don't understand... what is this pain and what can I do to take it away from you? Please... tell me... I'll do anything...

"I'm not going anywhere, Kaname," he murmured gently, brushing his lips ever so tenderly against the pureblood's. "I promise." He held the fearful garnet eyes steadily, willing the other to see the honesty and adoration in his heart. "Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." his breathing hitched softly and a tear escaped down his cheek despite himself. He couldn't help it... something in Kaname's eyes just made him want to weep.

Kaname seemed shocked by Zero's compassionate sorrow and it helped pull him back from the dark place he'd unconsciously sunk to. He blinked back the moisture in his own eyes, hesitantly freeing a hand to brush the tear from Zero's cheek. On some level, it was like Zero was crying for him, taking that small bit of vulnerability so that he didn't have to...

Kaname quickly shook his head. "No! No, you didn't... I'm sorry, I..." but he couldn't explain. He wasn't ready, he couldn't face the darkness right now, he just wanted to forget it.

Zero seemed to sense this and didn't press. Instead he stroked his fingers tenderly through Kaname's hair and kissed him gently, reassuringly. "Shhh... don't worry about it..." he murmured. "I told you... your scars won't chase me away," he whispered, holding Kaname's gaze. It didn't matter right now if he knew what was wrong or not... he just wanted to erase the pain from Kaname's eyes. To let him know he was safe, and adored.

Kaname's aching heart soaked up the gentleness in Zero's eyes, beautifully drowning in it as he felt the agony inside him somehow simply melting away under that tender gaze. Slowly, pleasure returned, building warmly again inside him as Zero kissed and caressed him with loving, tender care, leaving Kaname no room to think of anything but this, to have any thoughts in his mind beside his whole-hearted adoration of the boy holding him in his arms.

Zero finally felt Kaname's tense body start to relax and respond again and he smiled softly against Kaname's skin as he kissed his way from shoulder to neck, wringing soft, pleasurable little gasps from his partner once more.

"Kaname..." he murmured huskily. "Make love to me..."

Kaname shifted, tilting his head so he could see the other. Pleasure was glazing the dark eyes again, but he regarded Zero hesitantly. Especially after everything they had recently been through, the last thing the pureblood wanted was for Zero to think he didn't want to be taken too...

"You don't have to... its okay, really..." Kaname insisted softly, but Zero shook his head with a warm, seductive smile that sent heat skittering right through his stomach.

"I know I don't have to... I want too..." he replied simply. He didn't know what had freaked Kaname out before, but he did not want to risk taking him there again, Kaname seemed so fragile right now, it would be too easy to hurt him by accident. Besides all that though... he was telling the truth. He wanted Kaname. He wanted him in every sense of the word. At this moment, he truly felt it didn't matter which way they shared themselves... it was just about the sharing.

Kaname's gaze held Zero's with a look of such deep emotion that the hunter felt his throat tighten again. It was a good tightness now though, and his grin turned a little rueful, almost embarrassed as a light flush painted his cheeks attractively. "Well? You going to make me beg or what?"

Kaname smiled back, a glint of his usual self returning hesitantly to his eyes. "I don't know... you are so attractive when you beg..."

Zero sucked his breath in softly, letting his forehead rest against Kaname's shoulder as he felt his lover's hand slid under his hip and search him out. "Jerk," he retorted fondly, breathlessly.

A few minutes of gentle probing and Zero's need was getting intense. "Kaname..." he groaned softly. Kaname's chest was heaving under him, the pureblood obviously just as hungry as he was.

Kaname shivered in delight at the sound of Zero's voice, aching to feel the warmth of his body. He felt a small swell of frustration with himself though as he tried and failed to gather the strength to roll them both over. Before the feeling could settle however, he felt Zero sliding down his body and pressing back against him.

With a soft hiss of appreciation, Kaname's hands slid to tightly grip the other vampire's firm backside, pulling him close and guiding him back as he rocked up slowly, pressing into the other's body. Zero groaned softly and pushed back into the pressure, helping Kaname slide deeply into his body. He was flushed with desire, and a certain amount of embarrassment, but he wanted too badly to give himself to Kaname and to see pleasure in those beautiful brown eyes to doubt what he was doing.

Kaname's head pressed back against the pillow, his stomach jolting and quivering in pleasure as Zero's heat gripped and swallowed him. His hands tightened on the slender hips, his movements growing more firm and forceful as he pushed up harder, needing to claim every last inch of his lover's delightful body.

Zero gasped softly, fingers knotting in the sheets by Kaname's head as the other vampire filled him deeply. Kaname felt him jerk slightly and press closer as the pureblood made contact with the most intimate pleasure point inside the other's body.

Kissing Zero's neck and ear almost feverishly, Kaname's rocked his hips up into the body over him and Zero matched the pace, pushing back against him, seeking the delightful, sparking jolt of pleasure that lit each time Kaname claimed him completely.

Their breaths sped and hearts raced, lost in the joy of one another's arms and it wasn't too long before pleasure was cresting them towards the deliciously unstoppable high of completion. Lithe bodies pressed together, trembling hands caressed, warm lips kissed and panted, hips thrust and strained, rocking urgently as pleasure seared their senses and something much deeper than just pleasure bound them together, physically and emotionally.

When they were both spent, they lay together on the bed, bodies trembling and hearts full. Zero caressed Kaname's hair softly and pressed weary kisses against his jaw. Kaname could do little more than lay contentedly on the bed, holding Zero close, surrounded by the hunter's smell, his taste, his touch.

He felt a soft sense of wonder curl through his deliciously sated body as he lay there, feeling Zero's heart over his slowly starting to return to a more normal rhythm. Something in Zero filled places in him he'd not even realized were empty. He'd thought earlier, that his heart was dark, scarred and ugly... but maybe... maybe it couldn't be truly dark and ugly... because Zero lived there. He made the pureblood's heart and soul a better place with his gentleness, his infuriating stubbornness, his honesty, his goodness... his light.

As Kaname smiled contentedly and held the hunter close, he had no way of knowing that Zero, his face buried against the pureblood's neck, his heart content in the other's closeness... was thinking almost exactly the same thing.

The End