Hey guys, I'm back with yet another angsty fic in Ichigo's POV. After this I'll be a writing a last angsty songfic in Ichigo's POV, thanks to all my encouraging reviewers :D If you guys like my stories, then I'll come up with a light drabblish Ichiruki one-shots fic or a proper story. Do tell me what you prefer! ^_^
Warning: This one is not good enough :l
Dreams.
All of us watch dreams. We all have dreams.
Big or small, all of us subject ourselves to the pleasures of those bubbly, rosy and too-good-to-be-true caricatures.
Even I have dreams.
Not that I'd ever admit it.
Because we dream of what we don't have but wish to posses; not of what we have and don't give much thought to.
To dream means to admit that there is something we yearn for.
…But am I not supposed to have everything?
My life. My perfectly effing normal life.
A life I've always wanted. A life I've always complained about being deprived of. A life I've worked hard for for the last 16 years of my life.
A life where I live with a motherly Yuzu, a tomboyish Karin and a very sorry excuse of a father.
A life where I go to school without having annoying spirits hovering about me.
A life where I don't have to worry about huge, ugly monsters with white masks appearing behind my back.
A life where I mind my own business and let others mind theirs.
A life where I go to high school like a normal 17 year old with friends and acquaintainces.
….Then why do I feel so empty?
Dreams.
I dream of getting back my powers and protecting all those close to me.
There. I said it.
That is why I place my trust in a strange group of people who will help me revive back my powers.
That is why I train at every availible opportunity.
That is why I get impatient and mad if something or someone stalls my progress.
Every passing moment makes me feel I am closer to gaining back all my powers. The power to protect everyone.
After all that is the only reason I am doing all this stupidity for.
….Then why does my heart speed up a little when thoughts of being able to see her again invade my mind?
Dreams.
I often dream of a certain red-haired lieutenant eagerly cracking his knuckles in hopes of bashing me up.
I often dream of a certain ass-of-a-noble looking down on me and walking around like he owns the world.
I often dream of-
Che. As if I'd ever dream about her.
It's not like at times when I close my eyes, I am assaulted by the images of that midget sized girl- woman I should say, for the fear of the safety of my bones.
A midget with hair as black as the midnight and eyes as violet as…uh, violet can get.
It's not like I dream of her shadow threatening to kick me, punch me if I dare not wake up.
It's not like my dreams comprise of that haughty woman busily scribbling away those crappy drawings on that cursed sketchbook of hers.
It's not like often I shut my mind of all thoughts only to see her genuine smile and shining violet orbs looking back at me.
Nah. As if I'd ever get this soft. Che.
She definitely doesn't deserve that side of me.
Not after not coming to visit me- I mean us for the past 17 freaking months.
Which is one year plus 5 months on top.
It's not like I miss her. Like hell I'll miss her. Che.
But Yuzu misses her. So does Inoue. Ishida and Chad wouldn't mind seeing her again. And nor will….er, Keigo.
That idiot doen't even realize all this. All these people wouldn't mind seeing her again. I agree she isn't the Karakura representative to begin with, but that doesn't mean that she has to break all contact with us. After all we are all her nakama, right? She can come and visit us…like, once in a while. But no!
Now that there are no Arrancars, no Aizen, no Gin; she has no business here.
Bitch.
Even I wouldn't mind seeing her again. She sure is annoying, irritating, persistent and stubborn with hell loads of stupid habits, obsessions which always mange to drive me insane! But then…
…But then she is Rukia at the end of the day. The Rukia who stopped the rain in my life. The Rukia who's been my sidekick in every battle and war fought so far. The Rukia who's always put me at ease. The Rukia who's always been there to kick me back to normal. The Rukia who's as damaged as me. The Rukia who changed my world….in more ways then one.
The midget who makes me wonder if I can keep upto the speed of the world …..that has no her in it.
That's why I hate to admit that I have dreams.
Because we dream of what we wish for but do not posses.
Dreams about my powers make me realize that I do not have them.
Dreams often make us realize what we may never have.
So that's why I hate to admit that I dream of her.
Because I know that she'll be by my side someday.
No, I am not hoping.
I am waiting.