A/N- It's been a while! I guess I haven't lost my fondness for obscure 90's country. This is based off of a Garth Brooks song by the same title and is a little different. I like different; I hope you do too. Shout-out to Erica and Allie for the encouragement on this and to Mel for having my back.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, Glee, or the song this is based off of. This is for fun and all mistakes are mine.
The first time he saw the invitation, his heart skipped a beat. Now looking at it for what had to be the hundredth time, he was still struggling to keep his emotions in check. He moved his hands to his tie, hoping that this time the action would somehow distract him from this already awful day. He locked eyes with the stranger in the mirror, silently wondering how he let himself get here. Not that he had to wonder for long.
He looked at the white envelope resting nearby and picked it up, a sigh escaping him as he lifted the worn flap. He hesitated briefly before finally removing the invitation from the envelope. The raised lettering taunted him, every word making his chest feel heavier. It wasn't her name that affected him; it was his. More specifically, it was that the name printed next to Rachel Berry's wasn't his.
There was a time when Rachel Berry loved him and he thought that was it, that he had found the one he would spend the rest of his life with. Unfortunately, that's not how it worked out. He loved her, he's pretty sure he loved her from the first time they met.
He met her in the common area in the fall of his junior year of college. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail while she sat on the grass eating an apple. He was instantly taken by her beauty and by some stroke of luck, she allowed him into her life; a life that they shared until they didn't.
And now, in only a couple of hours she was getting married. To someone else.
"What are you doing?" He asked himself, turning back to look at himself in the mirror. He wanted to talk himself out of going, like he had been trying to do since that damn envelope showed up. Instead, he shook his head at his own weakness and grabbed his keys and the offending envelope and headed out to his black Mercedes. He couldn't wait for this day to be over.
The drive was long and tortuous and he talked himself out of going at least five or six times. It didn't matter how many times he convinced himself to turn around, he just couldn't bring himself to actually turn around.
He pulled his car up, parking across the street from the picturesque church in front of him. He couldn't help the small smile that formed when he thought that this was exactly the church he imagined Rachel Berry getting married in. The white chapel was simple and elegant with large wooden double doors and a high steeple that pointed to the heavens. The parking area was nearly full and he sat there for a moment scanning the lot and trying to guess which cars were there for the groom and which were there for the bride.
He didn't have to guess who the limo was for.
He found himself mesmerized at the classic white limo that awaited the couple. The chauffer was leaning on the front fender, waiting patiently while guests filled in the front doors dressed in their Sunday best. He checked his watch and his heart skipped again, the ceremony was set to begin in only a half hour.
Instead of exiting the car, he stared at the doors lost in thought. He found himself wondering what was happening inside. Was Rachel happy? Was she the type of bride who was wondering if she made the right choice? Or was she the type that was anxiously awaiting the moment she would walk down the aisle? He knew the easiest way to find out was to just go inside, see for himself; he couldn't.
"Why are you even here?" He let his head fall forward, resting on the steering wheel while he repeated the question to himself. He had no clue what he was doing here, especially if he couldn't bring himself to go inside. The thing that bothered him more than that though, was if he couldn't go inside, why couldn't he just drive away?
He'd be lying if a small part of him wasn't hoping she would come running out of the church in hopes of running away from her own wedding. A bigger part of him knew that Rachel wasn't like that. After their break up, Rachel made sure he knew that she would always be a friend to him.
She had no idea that he had a diamond ring he was waiting to give her. How could she? It wasn't her fault that she didn't love him the way she thought she did. It wasn't her fault that he loved her enough for the both of them. Deep down though, he knew that she deserved to love in the same way that he did. She deserved to be in a relationship that was not one sided. He hoped she had found that here. Even as the tears started to fall from his eyes, he wished that for her more than anything.
He pulled the ring from his pocket, knowing it shouldn't be there at all; knowing that he should have gotten rid of it years ago. The tears slowly fell as he looked at the gold ring that he picked just for her. Most people can't wait to get rid of a ring after the break up, but for him, he couldn't bear to part with it. At first, it was the hope that wouldn't let him let it go and when that faded, the sadness took over. Eventually he had become too attached to sell it and there was no way he could give it to someone else if he ever moved on. It was Rachel's ring; it always would be.
The melodic chime of the bells broke him from his thoughts and he looked out the window to see the guests lining up on the steps of the church. He watched on, holding his breath when he saw a flash of white behind the guests. This was his chance to see her. Almost as soon as he thought it, the crowd parted just enough for him to get a clear view of the bride and groom. Rachel smiled up at the groom, who bent down to kiss her while the guests happily looked on. They made it down the steps hand in hand, pausing to hug family members as they made their way to the awaiting limo.
He clasped the ring tightly in his hand and let out a breath. As much as it hurt to see her married, he knew that he had never seen her happier. She was a generally happy person, but this was different. She was in love and as much as she hated to admit it, she never looked at him that way. The smile crept up on him as the limo drove away and he knew that he had to let her go. It was time.
"She's Rachel Hudson now. Time to let go." It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he suddenly had no problems driving away. He wiped his eyes, ridding them of the unshed tears while he made his way to his destination.
The bright sun shone down on him where he parked on the bridge overlooking the river. He got out of the car and stood at the bridge's railing where he could see the water moving below him. It was then that a cool breeze wrapped around him, giving him the last bit of comfort that he needed. He pulled the ring out of his pocket once again and studied it, making sure to take the time to read the engraved inscription one last time.
Always yours –Jesse
"Goodbye." He brought the ring to his lips and kissed it before launching it as far upriver as he could. The diamonds caught the sunlight and the ring reflected back to him until it hit the water. Just like that, the weight seemed to lift and he was free. Free from the confines of a love that's one sided.
He wasn't foolish enough to think that he would never think of what might have been again, but he was free from the what-ifs. A part of him would probably always love her and now that he knew she was happy, he could go after his own happiness.
Just as Rachel deserved to be happy, so did he and that started today.
A/N- I know I promised a fluffy Valentines story, but it didn't want to play and this happened instead. I'm still working on the other one though, so don't give up hope. I hope you enjoyed this one shot. I know it's a little different and I thank you for reading. NON-HATEFUL reviews make me happy.