A one-shot as a sorry for not updating Room Service yet. Almost done but no promises :) This is an apology I hope you all enjoy and sorry but I didn't have time to see if I had any mistakes! :(
Happy Reading!
Title: Too Shy For Her
Pairing: Brittany/Santana
Rating: T
Summary: I force myself to look away from her, knowing that in about 30 seconds she'll go to me and greet me good morning, then stay for about 10 seconds before leaving to her own desk, just because I'm too shy to reply.
I admire her. I always do, there was never a time I ignored her whole being. She was beautiful; the most beautiful woman my eyes ever laid on and she was charismatic, never failing to put a smile on everyone's face. She was a guardian angel; she's my guardian angel. Ever since she entered the building I knew I was a goner. She captured my heart the first time our eyes met and she smiled at me. I never returned the smile though and continued my job, re-typing the words of a soon to be published book in the industry.
She always tried to speak with me, make some sort of conversation but being an idiot, I pretend to ignore her and seem like she doesn't even exist in this world when really, she is my world. I can't fall for her, not when I'm already up so high. The casual things we'd say to each other would be the usual Hello Santana or Working late again? even a Don't stay up too much, goodbye Santana!
Like now, I'm sitting down on my desk, opening my computer as I look at the time. Exactly 9:15am, the time she always comes in at.
Just like that, the clear glass doors of Flying Books Industry opens and the love of my life (not exaggerating or anything) walks in with the biggest smile on, her black jacket swung over her shoulders as she greets Tina like usual and waves at Mike from across there as he shoots her a wink. It's almost like a routine and I never got bored with it.
I busy myself with logging in, dismissing the feeling that in about 30 seconds, she'll look my way, flash me a small smile and greet me good morning just like always.
Pressing enter, I wipe the sweat from my brow and combine everything in my system to not look up at her, to not notice her right now because I'll have all the time I need in a few hours with my own mind. Her scent comes crashing into me as she stands in front of my desk, and stays there.
On my eye level I see her nametag swishing from side to side, her picture in view with my brown eyes as I force the smile away because she's so goddamn beautiful and I can't control myself anymore.
"Good Morning Santana" she whispers as I start a countdown to 10, knowing she'd leave and go to her own desk by then. I raise my head; looking disinterested and gave her a subtle nod before returning to the screen of my computer. Her eyes were so beautiful looking into mine.
Her shadow goes away and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I dared myself to chance a glance at her and as I take a peek through the ends of my glasses, I watch her put on her jacket, make herself comfortable on her chair, crack her fingers and switch on her computer. Like every other routine I had of her, I bite my lower lip and inwardly curse at myself for being such a wimp.
"Santana, I need these papers by the end of the day" my boss, Rachel Berry says in lightning speed, dropping a stack of papers on top of my desk as she furiously types things on her phone with her assistant, Kurt Hummel by her side, doing the usual I'll give you your things-to-do for today lecture that every assistant does.
"Whew, that's a lot of papers you got there"
I didn't even notice her coming here, with the sparkling blue eyes and shining blonde hair. Maybe I was too distracted watching my boss that I didn't even sense her coming which is weird because I always do… and when she comes near me, I'd usually get up and go elsewhere, pretending I'm too busy to speak to her when I actually want to talk to her so badly.
Turning my head to avoid her beauty, I coughed and nodded, setting aside the book I was supposed to type today then opened up Microsoft Word. I scratch my ear and gulp down the invisible knot on my throat. I feel her watching me, sending arrows through my head.
"Yeah… Knew you weren't really going to answer me" she says, chuckling. I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not but I was guilty. It's not like I didn't want to talk to her because god, what I want is the complete opposite. I'm not replying because I'm definitely going to fall so deep for her once we start communicating in at least one sentence kind of dialogues.
The sound of lips popping together snaps me out of my thoughts for a while as I scan through the first paper, my left hand clenching hard because of how nervous I was feeling.
"Okay, if you need help with that—I'm just over there" she mumbles, pointing to her desk like I didn't even knew she worked there. "I don't have that much papers to do since I did it at home so uhm, yeah"
I give her another nod, squeezing my eyes shut as the familiar sigh of disappointment comes out of her lips and barely touches my skin. "Alright, yup… well, bye again Santana" and with that, the sound of heels clicking against the tiled floors show that she's gone and she's back to work.
Facing my back towards her, I smack my forehead and mouth curses of hatred towards me, scratching my neck roughly to add more emphasis when I open my eyes and blush beet in embarrassment as one of my co-workers, Jacob—eyes me suspiciously. I let out a cough and stretch my arms, using this as a decoy as my eyes drift to her, the one and only Brittany Pierce with her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I bite back a giggle, finding it so adorable, just like always. A smile creeps upon my lips as I sigh and crack my neck from side to side.
Work time.
I take a sip from my coffee when a blinking light from the right side of the screen catches my attention. You see, our Industry has this thing where we have our own chat room so that if we needed any help or anything, we don't have to stand up and call for that person… instead, we can just chat with them through our business log-in that has been installed to everyone's computer. It's very beneficial and sometimes, it's fun to use too.
Clicking the icon open, a message from Tina pops out, making me roll my eyes at the obvious love for the other Chang guy.
Tina: Did he say anything about me?
Giggling a bit to myself, I take a peek at Mike who's currently talking to Brittany by her desk right now. Those two are so close that we all thought at first they were a couple but they quickly denied it. Mike said he was interested in someone else and Brittany shrugged her shoulders, mentioning she was as gay as the Gay Lord Focker himself from the movie Meet the Fockers. It was hilarious and I had to duck under my desk just so I could laugh. I didn't want her to think I was listening after all.
Santana: Besides the millions of "Hey Santana, I really like Tina"? None.
Tina: Oh don't joke around, I want the truth Santana.
Santana: That is the truth, he really likes you so don't be such a coward and do something!
Tina: I do something? Are you crazy? He's the man!
Santana: Don't you mean it's supposed to be She's The Man?
I laugh at my own lame joke, emphasizing the movie She's The Man so she would have the lady balls to ask Mike out. I'm pushing her to do this because Mike's the shyest guy I know, he seems flirty and over-too-friendly but actually, the man's a baby. And I'm also not lying when I say he really likes Tina. I think they're both blind anyways, they don't see it but I do… they keep glancing at each other from across the room, sometimes even blushing when one is caught. I told Mike lots of times to ask her out but he's such a chicken. Can't say the same for me though, it's been 5 months and I haven't had a decent conversation with Brittany.
Tina: Ha Ha, Very funny Santana… And again, no. I will not ask him out
Santana: Why not? Afraid he might pee in his pants?
Tina: No, I'm afraid that I might pee in my own pants.
Oh god, that did it and I'm throwing my head back as I let out a rather loud snort, muffling my laughs with the palm of my hand as I search for Tina, finding her by her desk with the same position as I am, giggling like a child. She looks at me and rolls her eyes.
"What's so funny?"
Completely taken by surprise, I accidentally bang my knees below my desk and jerk up, wincing in pain as I turn to my left, ready to go all kick-yo-ass at this person when I'm cut short and the prettiest girl in the planet is standing behind me, cocking her hip to the side with an amused grin.
"Sorry… I didn't mean to surprise you" she says, biting her lower lip. "Your laugh just caught my attention"
My mouth opens and closes before I finally pull myself together and give her the usual subtle nod. It's really hard for me to strike a conversation with her even if it's a simple hello, some of my co-workers think I'm rude to Brittany and that I dislike her which is very un-true. Twisting around on my seat, I crack my fingers, hide my face away from her and continue typing the papers given to me, deciding not to reply to Tina for the moment even though I know she's sending glares at me from the other side of the room. She is super impatient by the way.
I still feel Brittany's presence but I pretend to not notice it as I flip through the next page, brushing a few strands of hair away from my face and gulped. It's very hard to concentrate when I can whiff her scent even from a mile away.
"So, do you mind me asking what was so funny?" Brittany asks from behind me, circling around my desk as she leans on top of the hood of my computer, a shy smile in place. "Not like I'm very interested or anything, just curious and uh—a tad bit interested" she mumbles, ducking her chin and I have to hold my breath so that I wont let out a loud noise because damn, that was just too cute.
Shaking my head slowly, I bite my lower lip and avert my eyes back to the screen, my whole entire body and soul having an internal battle whether or not I should just talk to Brittany for once.
She clicks her tongue and sighs in disappointment, making a heavy weight pull down on my gut as Brittany pushes herself away and walks back to her place but not before saying the casual and usual, "Bye Santana"
I smack my forehead as soon as Brittany was out of sight and opened up the chatroom I was using with Tina.
Santana: Sorry, got distracted and interrupted
Tina: I can see that. Never thought you and blondie were close. Is she stealing you from me too? Ugh, I swear, first Mike and now you? Don't fall for her please
In my head, I can't help but chuckle at the irony of it all.
Santana: Don't worry, I won't. And once again, Mike's not interested at her at all. It's so obvious, are you blind or something?
Tina: I know they don't like each other in that way but it's just the feeling you know? I want to have the bond they have.
Smiling at how sincere Tina was for her feelings for Mike, I was about to type another reply when something pops out of my screen, a similar window to me and Tina's chatroom.
Brittany: Hi Santana! I was wondering if you could help me out with something?
I took a quick glance at Brittany's desk and almost faint when I see her chewing on her lower lip and subtly trying to sneak glances at me too. This is the first time ever that I saw her try to do something like this and honestly, I feel a bit flattered. So, I can't be super rude too since she's been nothing but friendly or nice therefore I decided to reply back but only in a professional way. No exclamation points, smileys and any "ha ha's"
Santana: What would that be?
Staring at my computer, I really have the urge to just type my declaration of love to her. She's got my heart ever since the first day so no one can really blame her.
Brittany: Well, Come over here—I'll show you if that's okay? :)
My lungs suddenly gets stuck inside my body and I'm trying my best not to fall out of my chair even if I'm sitting properly and straight. This is a bad idea, if I say yes—we'll be having our first conversation ever and I don't think I can handle that but if I say no, I'm only just going to hurt her and be so disrespectful, she might think I'm not worthy enough to greet in the morning and wave goodbye in the night.
Santana: Sorry, I got lots of papers to do. Why not just ask me now?
That was good. A clear and smooth rejection, not harsh at all.
Brittany: Right, that's so selfish of me to think of. I'm sorry
I feel so guilty right now. She's just trying to communicate with me since I'm the most stubborn person in the world yet I'm—well, I'm being me.
Santana: It's okay.. so, you're favor?
I don't even care about Tina anymore as I pick up some of the remaining paper and start sorting them out nicely. Reading through the paragraphs to watch out for any mistakes as I wait for a reply from Brittany.
Brittany: Do you think I should use my break to walk my dog to the park or maybe use it to try and be friends with you?
That wasn't what I was expecting at all, it came as such a big shock—I wasn't surprised to find my eyes widening in disbelief as I whip my head to Brittany's desk and watch her fiddle with the edges of her own set of plots. I know I've been such an ass lately but I can't really change who I am because then Brittany would know of my obsessive feelings of her. I don't want that to happen, she might hate me or even worse—ignore me and I know I won't be able to handle that.
Santana: Whatever seems more important to you.
I feel like a complete jerk but what's done is done and I sigh sadly because Brittany probably hates me right now so I'll just exit this tab and open up MS word before my file gets lost. Almost clicking the right button, I instantly get a reply from the person I've been crushing for so long.
Brittany: That's hard. I can't decide.
A small smile appears on my lips when my heart starts to thump loudly. Was Brittany seriously implying I was important as her pet dog? That can't be possible.
Santana: Why can't you decide?
Brittany: That's a secret but seriously, I don't want to waste my lunch so can we please get to know each other?
Lunch is later but I'll start now. Don't want to waste this opportunity and chicken out when the time comes for real.
Santana: Okay then hello, I am Santana Lopez.
There's no way I'm going to publicly speak with Brittany. I might faint or even worse, get some sort of minor heart attack.
Brittany: Uhm, okay… No, I want to get to know you. I already know your name
Santana: You asked if we could speak at each other and get to know one another. I'm starting it.
I probably seem like a total douche that I didn't intentionally want Brittany to think I am. That's the thing about talking and messaging, you can't tell if the person is mad at you or not because the only thing you see is a blank screen with a couple of words unlike speaking face to face, you can watch every single detail.
Brittany: Oh… Well, You already know my name so do you mind me asking why you ignore and avoid me so much?
Santana: My favorite color is red.
Brittany: That's good to know. Mine is blue.
Just like her eyes. It's perfect.
Santana: Cool.
Oh god, how badly I want to punch myself right this moment. I sound so mean and –ugh. I wont be surprised if Brittany will stop chatting with me just because I'm hiding away from her.
Brittany: Hot.
Santana: Sorry, what?
Brittany: You said cool but I think the weather's hot today.
Blinking at the screen, I take a hesitant glance to Brittany's desk and blush furiously when I get caught red-handed by my crush, who was looking back at me with a playful grin.
Santana: Well, we're inside the building so I think the 'weather' is kind of cool now.
Brittany: Air-condition isn't a weather Santana, it's a machine. If you go out, you'd think I'm right and it's very hot.
Santana: I'll take your word on that when I have my break.
Brittany: Going out?
Santana: Yes, to buy my lunch. I hate the food in the cafeteria.
Brittany: I can tell, I always see you going inside with a different bag of something from outside.
I halt my movements as I read the text over and over again. So Brittany has been watching me for a while? And not just any while—she would notice me entering the cafeteria to eat with Tina? With the many employees coming in and out, I'd doubt anyone would see me. This is surprising.
Santana: I'm a picky person. Especially on food.
Brittany: I'll keep that on mind. By the way, you don't mind me joining you later right? I want to buy take-out too.
Sneaky. Brittany is one very sneaky person. I can't help but roll my eyes at this and I swear, just as I did that I think I heard someone giggle.
Santana: You might not like where I'm going.
Brittany: Try me ;)
That's the first time Brittany sent me a smiley and suddenly, my heart's beating like crazy. Maybe it's because I'm imagining her winking at me right now or maybe because this almost seems like she's flirting with me which is impossible or maybe even it's just the simple fact Brittany's trying to be-friend me no matter how rude and 'NR' I get.
Santana: What food do you dislike?
Brittany: Chinese food aren't really my thing… I'm more of Mexican and Persian.
Brittany: -And don't tell me your buying Chinese because you always eat a sandwich. The people from China don't really eat that much bread.
Santana: I'm impressed. You're smart.
Brittany: Thanks, that's really nice of you to say. Like really, thank you. :) But why are you avoiding me anyways?
Santana: If I agree for you to buy out with me will you drop the question?
Brittany: Depends. Are you going to ditch me?
Santana: Of course not.
Brittany: Pinky promise?
Santana: Pinky promise.
I'm terribly nervous right now, almost chewing on my nails because I'm waiting for Brittany by the entrance door with my wallet on the other hand. She was still saving her work when I stood up from my desk so I'm pretty sure she'll come around any second—
"Hi! Sorry for making you wait, my computer was being mean" said the most angelic voice over, chest panting as she stays in front of me, smiling wide.
I return the smile, making sure it was only small before nodding to my right, mentally signaling her to start walking. She stares at me for a while before nodding frantically, jumping beside me as we walk side by side.
"So what sandwich place are we going to?"
My mouth opens to reply but nothing seems to come out and I just remain like that. It was so embarrassing but thankfully Brittany understood what I was trying to do.
"Can't really speak with me huh?" she says sadly, puffing out an air. "And here I was thinking you don't actually hate me."
I feel my heart drooping low as I muster all the courage inside my soul and say, "I'm not"
Brittany stops walking and does that thing again where she stares at me like I'm not real but just a figment of her own imagination.
"You-You just talke—I mean, you don't?"
I shake my head and flashed her a smile, doing everything I can not to be rude again. This is most probably going to be the only time we speak to each other after all.
"I'm—I'm a really shy person but… I don't h-hate you or anything" I mumbled, ducking my head low.
"Ohh..I mean, Oh! Right, of course… you're just…shy" she giggles, brushing her hair away.
I nod, lick my lips and continue walking to my favorite store, Subway. It has the best sandwiches ever.
"I guess the only way I get to communicate with you a lot is through chatting right?"
I nod once again, daring not to look at her because I know she's disappointed.
"It's okay. I understand, you must be one of those people that has her walls up or something" she adds, tapping her chin before stopping right in front of the glass doors of Subway, causing me to turn to her curiously.
She grins.
"And I intend on being that person who usually breaks the wall of this person and goes inside"
It's been a week since Brittany and I went out to buy lunch together. We didn't really talk much because she was the one did all the talking. I didn't mind it at all, in fact—I actually pretty much liked hearing her speak and tell me everything about her. It makes me smile and sigh in happiness.
But sadly, after that beautiful day, we didn't really continue our chatting in the Corporation's Chat Room. The next day, I waited for her to send me something but nothing, she was online and she did the usual greeting me in the mornings that I ignore once again. She'd try to make conversation and I'd look away. She always enters at exactly 9:15 and I'm always the same as I ever was.
I'm about to take my break again when a notification appears on my screen.
Brittany: Heading to Subway? :)
Should I reply or just pretend I didn't even see it? Oh fuck it, she probably watch me read this anyways, so with a quivering hand, I quickly typed a reply.
Santana: Trying something new today. You in for it?
I'm not scared to invite her, this is an opportunity and I'm using it wisely.
Immediately, I received a response.
Brittany: Thought you'd never ask! Meet me out at 5 minutes!
I smile secretly to myself and trotted towards the entrance doors of the building, busying myself with my phone when the smell of Brittany's body wash invades my nostrils.
"Hi! Where are we off to now?" she asks, cheery as ever. I take a deep breath and hesitantly opened my mouth. This is it, I'm finally going to speak back to her.
"Gr—Gray's… P—a—yaa" I muttered, clearing my throat as I turn away, blushing furiously. This was so humiliating I just want to run away right now.
I missed the way Brittany's smile widens more as she takes a step closer to me and pokes my cheek. "Whatever that is, I'm sure the food is great!" She teased, looking left and right.
Pointing to the opposite direction of Subway, Brittany nods and leads the way even though she doesn't know exactly where it is. I giggled softly, she was the cutest thing ever.
We stopped just in front of the hotdog store Tina introduced to me a couple of days ago, I scrunch my face up and frowned. This is a really popular store with all the people eating inside, why haven't I noticed it before?
"Ohh so you were trying to say Gray's Papaya? Well, that's cool with me! The food there is really good. Some say its really fattening but I believe you only truly get fat when you eat a lot and don't exercise but if you eat and work out on a daily basis, I don't think anything will happen to your body at all" she rambles, facing me with an unsure look on her face.
I stare at her in awe, completely dumbfounded with what she just said because that totally just made sense.
Without even knowing it, I reply casually. "Wow, that's actually very much true and sensible"
Brittany's eyes shine as we line up by the counter, her lips tugging up into a grin. "Yeah… well, that's what my Dad told me when I did this super harsh diet on my high school years. And you know what? He's always right."
Feeling the courage, I was about to say something about my own father when the cashier girl calls out our names.
"Hi, what would you both be having?"
Brittany gestures for me to start and I smile as thanks. After getting our orders, Brittany decides we have our lunch inside rather than going back to the cafeteria because she said it was a waste of time and by the time we get back, we'll only have 15 minutes left to eat which is very much true.
We take a seat by the glass windows and since I'm shy and got nothing to say, I quietly munch on my hotdog as I stare at the napkin laying idly on the table.
"Are you always this shy?"
I look up and see curious but soft blue eyes on her pale face, causing goosebumps to appear on my skin. I smile and nod my head slowly.
"W-When I was a kid I didn't have that much f-friends—uhm, it was only Tina actually" I admit, wanting to both pat myself in the back and dash to the next building because that took a lot of my energy.
Brittany quirks an eyebrow and smirks. "So you and Tina go way back?"
I bite my lower lip and took a sip from my soda. "Y-Yes. We were neighbors since I was around 4. Been together forever"
There's something flashing through Brittany's eyes that I can't read or tell. "Ohh…" she says, voice sounding disappointment. "I never knew she swings that way but I'm happy for the both of you"
My cheeks turn flush red as I cover my face with the big hotdog on my hands and blink a couple of times, clearing my throat to remove that weird lump.
Raising my hand up defensively, I shyly shake my head. "No, not in that way. What I meant was we were really close friends—and never separated since she beat me up in the playground" I whispered, smiling at the memory.
Brittany throws her head back in laughter. "She beat you up? Why would Tina do such a thing?"
I bow my head down and tried to stop the giggle coming out of my mouth because I know Brittany will just make fun of the way I sound.
"I—I may have ignored her when she asked—well, asked to be friends with me"
"Why'd you ignore her?" Brittany asks curiously, tilting her head to the side as she eats some of her chips. "Not that I'm not surprised you did" she jokes, making me blush in embarrassment.
"She scared me I guess… Tina was very loud and I got really scared. She was the first person who ever wanted to be my friend and I was just—terrified."
Brittany reaches her hand out to me and cups it firmly, letting it stay for a couple of seconds before letting go with a comforting smile.
"If I knew you that time ago, in a flash I'd go to you and ask to be your friend. I'm sure you were a really cute kid"
And that just made my entire day.
Brittany: Mind if I come over and have a little chat? I just finished half of the book I'm typing!
I smile upon reading this, looking over my shoulder at Brittany who's staring at me expectantly. I wave her over and she grins, bouncing to her feet as she comes to stand in front of me, arms folded together.
"I just finished this book titled Pink Shoes. Weird right?" she laughs, shaking her head as her blonde locks wave endlessly around her. I smile at her adoringly and nod, for the past few days she somehow managed to really break those walls I've been building since I was a fetus.
I lean back on my chair and twiddle my fingers together, looking anxiously between her blue eyes and magnificent white teeth. "Really? What's it about?"
"Shoes that are pink." She teases, sticking her tongue out playfully at me as I roll my eyes and giggle like a fool.
"You know, I'm really happy I was able to make you laugh some more" she confesses, tucking a loose strand of hair.
"Me too…" I reply quietly, looking over her shoulder as Tina approaches.
"Santana! Rachel's calling you. Something about a massage"
I sigh in defeat and send Brittany an apologetic look as I push my chair away.
"Sorry, I need to do this"
"It's okay, I'm glad though."
Arching an eyebrow, I bite my lower lip. "Glad of what?"
Brittany winks and turns around, but not before saying, "That you're finally speaking to me."
After giving Rachel her shoulder massage, I walk back to my desk and crack my fingers a little bit, opening up a new page as I bring out a new set of pages. I was about to continue when all of a sudden Brittany pops out of nowhere and gleams.
"It's break time! Where are we heading to this time?" she asks, jumping in place.
I check the watch and indeed it was break time. I shrug my shoulders and adjusted the glasses that were falling off the bridge of my nose.
"Why don't you pick this time?"
Brittany seems to like this idea because in about two seconds, she's grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the building without a moment too loose, dragging me across the busy streets, as I'm very sure the color of my cheeks are dark red. She always has this effect on me.
"U-Uhm Brittany, where are we going?" I ask, apologizing to a stranger whom I just bumped into.
She looks at me through her shoulder and winks, shoulders shaking in laughter as she catches me blush yet again.
"It's the very first restaurant I went to when I came to this place" she announces, stopping right outside of … McDonalds?
"Brittany, I don't think this is a restaurant… More of a fast-food store" I corrected, chuckling slightly. "But whatever, I said you were going to pick this time so go ahead."
She pushes through the doors and runs to the counter, glad that no one else was in line. If I count the number of times Brittany and I would hang out, it would usually be on our break times, adventuring on the different kinds of food out there while trying to make conversation. On the second day at the same place, which is Subway, we had this awkward silence because she invited me to sit beside her on the cafeteria table but after that, everything just went out smoothly.
"Don't you think the ice cream here is the best?" Brittany gaps, licking on her plastic spoon as I secretly watch her, kicking my own foot at how creepy I sound.
"I believe every ice cream tastes the same, so there really is no 'best' ice cream" I reasoned out, wanting to just say something smart because Brittany's just out-witting me all the time.
Thinking I might have won this time, Brittany seems to have something much better in mind. She shakes her head and licks her vanilla ice cream. "No. I believe every ice cream has a different sweetness. You think they all taste alike but really, every single one has their own type of flavor"
I groan in mock frustration as I give Brittany a pointed look. "You win again"
She does some kind of happy dance on her seat and giggles, licking her spoon like its some sort of prized candy. "Brittany: 16, Santana: 0"
I snap my head towards Brittany and frowned, shaking my head. "What? No… Remember that time at Starbucks? I won, I really won" I said, defending myself.
She rolls her eyes and ticks her index finger, disagreeing with me. "Nope. You just got that out of a book. Remember the rules? It must be something you don't really hear everyday and get to see when you research somewhere."
"Brushing your teeth daily really does save you from spending money to bleach them, I'm right Brittany!" I exclaim (which rarely happens), ducking my chin afterwards upon realizing how loud I was. Brittany grins though.
"Santana, everyone knows that already"
"I still don't understand how you keep winning. This is so unfair."
"At least playing this game is making you speak to me without hesitation. If this keeps up, I'd play this game forever."
And all of a sudden, my confidence shoots down and my heart starts to beat rapidly with her words, even if Brittany gives me the courage to speak. She also gives me the pinch to weaken and fall down on my knees.
"I was thinking we should go to the Persian store by the other side, it has really good chicken…" Brittany mumbles, tapping her chin.
I let out a small smile and nod slowly, feeling completely flustered that I can't seem to talk anymore. It's hard and there goes that feeling again with my throat going dry whenever Brittany does this certain thing.
She turns to me and chuckles. "Oh great, Fierce Santana is gone already? Well then, I won't be rude so hello Shy Santana! You're really cute with red cheeks" she coos, teasing me as she doubles in laughter, holding her stomach tightly.
I grab a newspaper by the side table and use it to cover my face. I pretend to be reading whatever article seems intriguing when Brittany's finger pulls it down, showing her face with the biggest smile ever.
"I'd actually believe you wanted to read that newspaper if it weren't upside down"
And oh god how I wanted to bury my whole body under this green earth.
"Pink or Blue?"
I stare at the two post-its hanging on the air as Brittany presents to me the materials she wanted to buy from National Bookstore. Rachel sent me to pick up a couple of things and she asked if I wanted company. Since I never not wanted her close to me, I smiled and said a quiet 'yes' because I was never my real self when we were near our co-workers.
"Blue. It's your favorite color isn't it?" I responded, turning away as I miss the fact her eyes sparkled brightly at my response.
I walk to the markers section and picked out every single Sharpie I see, dropping them inside the basket as Brittany follows right behind me, seeming different than usual.
Noticing the change of atmosphere, I spin on the heels of my feet and tilted my head to the side, smiling adoringly at how cute she looked right now. Brittany was playing with her fingers while staring elsewhere; I couldn't help but voice my curiosity.
"Is something the matter?"
She locks her blue eyes at me and I almost laugh at how funny her face was scrunching up altogether.
"Uhm—Uh—I… because… you know…" she stutters which is surprising because that never happens. It's only me who stutters and never her.
I'm actually very thankful that Brittany never gave up on me. I know I was hard to talk to and usually, whenever Tina would set me up on blind dates, guys or girls would give up on me and walk out before I can say 'hi' back. She really did go by her word when she said she wanted to break down my walls and be my friend. I'm not as loud with her as I am with Tina but I'm improving.
"We've gotten closer these couple of weeks and—and I really like hanging out with you. You're really shy but I find that really cute about you—"
I blush upon hearing this but conceal it by turning to another aisle filled with brown folders, the blonde's voice coming close.
"—And ever since I started working Flying Books Industry I told myself not to quit and work hard because you were there."
I stop and does my heart as I take a peek at her through the slit of my glasses.
"W-What are you trying to say here, Brittany?"
She stops whatever she's doing and raises her head, locking her orbs with mine as I small smile appears out of no where.
"I'm saying that I like you—as in, like you like you. You're really funny when you try to not act shy and you're really pretty too. I think you're awesome Santana and I'm wondering if you'll agree to go on a date with me?" she breathes, eyes twinkling in hope.
But this is the first time someone's ever courted me, not counting that pimple nerd back in high school of course but still—this is so different. Brittany, beautiful and perfect Brittany just asked me if I wanted to go on a date with her. This is real life because if it wasn't I'm sure I should be pissing on my bed right now.
"Uh—I…" I bow my head down, bite my lower lip and chance a glance at Brittany through my thick lashes. "I'm sorry" I apologized, keeping a straight face as I watch her shoulders deflate. If I say yes now who knows when she'll get bored with me and I don't think I can handle loosing her after having her—I'd rather not have her in that way at all. That way it's much safer. "You're really great Brittany and I like you too but—"
Shaking my head, I drop a couple of materials inside the basket and squeeze my eyes shut. "—but it's just not going to happen"
Brittany just nods her head, laughs it off and tells me to forget it before walking away with nothing else, leaving me feeling guilty and down in the dumps. Who would have thought the lonely and shy Santana Lopez got to experience feeling incomplete and lost?
We don't really talk much on the walk back to the building and when I push the doors open for her, I was about to ask if she wanted to hang out by the park later and feed ducks because it was calming and fun… but I got something else, something I didn't know I'd hate so much.
"Sorry Santana… I have a lot of work to do."
Lies.
Excuses.
Those certain things that everyone uses to avoid the person. I didn't believe I'd see the day Brittany would use that method on me and now that I'm hearing this, I cant help but feel hopeless as I nod in understanding and head back to my desk but not before giving Rachel her things.
I gather my papers altogether and stand in front of Brittany's desk, mindlessly playing with the balls of my feet as I send her a smile even though her dark, sad eyes were staring at the screen only.
"Hi Brittany."
She doesn't respond—not a move, not a flinch.
I grit my teeth together and chuckle lowly. "Funny, I saw this store on my way here and they just opened up a week ago… I was wondering if maybe you want to check it out later?"
Brittany turns her head to me and quirks an eyebrow, scrunching her nose up in confusion. "I thought you and Tina go out during Thursdays? Aren't those your date nights?"
I mentally flinch upon hearing the double meaning of her words, sighing sadly as I give her an apologetic look just like always.
"I cancelled it so we can eat together" I reply monotonously, praying Brittany would just let the whole 'date' thing go. It's better this way anyways. I don't want to disappoint her and make her regret it soon.
You'd think I'm not interested but really, I'm more than interested but you have to understand me when I say I'm scared. I have no doubt Brittany will never hurt me but I'm just scared and terrified to not be the girlfriend she's been dreaming of or wanting of. I've wished for many nights for just a single kiss from those soft pink lips that seemed to catch my attention all the time. How I dreamed of the day I get to call Brittany mine and mine only.
That's all just a dream though and the best I can do for the both of us is make sure our friendship doesn't fade.
Brittany looks away from me and pops her lips together. "I don't know Santana. Mike and I were planning to talk about stuff at the cafeteria. I can't just ditch him" she replies, tapping my shoulder affectionately.
"Maybe next time"
Lies. Excuses.
Regrets.
I don't get to go to work the next week because I suddenly got colds after staying under the rain at Diamond Park. I was only there because Brittany usually visits to feed the ducks ever Sundays. It's like her past time which is very neat if you ask me. I wanted to explain to her why I said no and that it isn't because I didn't like her. I'm not so lucky because now I have high fever and Rachel gave me a lecture this morning on the phone but there's nothing I can do about it anyways so I just pretended to be listening to every word she said that was giving me a massive headache.
Wrapping the comforter around me, I groan upon hearing my doorbell ring.
"Who would come here at this hour?" I asked myself, slightly annoyed.
As I open the door, I am shocked to see who is standing on my doorstep holding a few plastics bags and a big duck stuff toy.
Brittany smiles gently to me as she steps inside my home and carefully reaches the toy out to me.
"This is my favorite stuff toy, his name is Quack—very good for sick days like this" she says, giggling a bit before holding up the plastic bags.
"Heard you weren't coming in today because you were sick and I may or may not have called in sick too" she teases, winking at me playfully.
And just like that, she's making me blush and smile again. I haven't done much of those since I rejected Brittany. That memory kind of stings me.
"You didn't have to…" I shyly replied, tucking a loose strand of hair when I finally notice what was inside the bags. I gasped; eyes finding blue orbs that are finally sparkling with intensity. "But this is—"
"—the store that you talked about which just opened was this one right?" she interrupts, loving my reaction probably.
I nod my head and sigh, truly grateful for everything Brittany's done to and for me.
"That's the one. I never thought it was an ice cream store" I ponder, tapping my chin.
Brittany rolls her eyes and closes the front door, making sure to lock it as I suddenly feel reality sinking in and I'm now alone at my own house with the perfect beauty Brittany Pierce.
I gulp slowly, feeling all-nervous. "Uhm yeah…"
"You're probably going to not like this but it wont hurt you anyways."
"Not going to like what?"
"Eating ice cream when you're sick?"
My mouth closes in on an 'o' shape as I watch her take out a sealed cup. "Here this is yours. I just got you chocolate—is that fine?"
I smile, liking how she bought my favorite flavor without knowing.
"More than fine. I'm actually craving for this." I confess, greedily opening the lid as I nearly drool at the creamy goodness.
"There's snot falling out of your nose" Brittany points out, I miss the way she smirks teasingly as I cover my nose and scurry away in search of a tissue.
A hand rests on my shoulder as I snap my head around, regretting it because now I'm super close to her—so close, I can feel her breath against my lips. For a second I glance at those pink lips before looking back up to her gorgeous blue orbs.
"Santana…" she breathes, causing goosebumps to appear all over my skin. She smiles and giggles a bit. "I was joking. You look perfectly fine except for the eye bags and red nose but yeah—you're okay"
I close my eyes and take a step back, letting out a sigh of relief. "Oh, well—I thought—if that were real I'd be so embarrassed right now."
Brittany plays with her toes and bites her lower lip. "Even if your nose is dripping with snot doesn't change how I feel about you" she whispers, eyeing me hopefully once again.
My heart thuds rapidly as I feel all the heat go up to my cheeks. Brittany thinks this is a good thing as she goes closer to me and I'm panting. I see her lips again and I just want to lean in.
"Why don't you want me Santana?" she asks in a husky voice, fingers trailing against my cheek as I finally let out the breath I've been holding in.
"Am I not good enough?"
I immediately shake my head and gently push her away from me. "It's not that Brittany…" I respond, avoiding the disappointed stare coming from blue eyes. "I'm just—just…"
She has an expectant look on her face.
"I'm just scared you'll get bored with me one day"
Brittany's jaw drops at once.
"What?" she chokes, shaking her head. "That would never happen—seriously. That's just wrong!" she hisses, not liking what I said at all and I don't know why but I'm trying to force the smile away.
"I'd never get bored of you Santana"
I was about to say something when her phone starts ringing.
"Sorry I have to get that" she says, apologizing with a bow as I decided to eat my chocolate ice cream while waiting.
After the phone call Brittany turns back to me and sighs. "My sister needs me. I'm so sorry but I'll see you soon?"
I nod my head and smile weakly, watching her fix herself before waving goodbye and disappearing before I can muster up the courage to agree to her request. Coincidentally, I get my own phone call.
"Hey Santana! I'm so sorry to bother you but do you know why Brittany is absent?"
I scrunch my face up in confusion, sucking on my spoon. "Uhm, didn't she call in sick?"
"Woah, you really must be sick Santana because this is the first time ever Brittany's absent. Rachel's furious and I'm worried because her sister just called and-"
I hold my hand up even if Tina can't see me. "Wait, her sister called you?"
She's probably nodding right now. "Yeah about 10 minutes ago, she said Brittany left without telling her and she's worried now because Britt's not at work. Have you seen her?"
My eyes drift to the empty cup of chocolate that was on top of my counter table. I smile upon realizing something.
"Sorry no. I'll call you if I do though"
"Thanks Santana. Get well soon"
There's nothing to be afraid of.
Brittany's beautiful. Brittany's patient. She's been the woman of my eye ever since and my heart belongs to her. All those times together were the best days of my life and I need to return it to her by making her happy.
So I decided upon sitting on top of my chair that this is the day I've been waiting for.
Tick Tock, Tick Tock. Clock strikes at exactly 9:15.
I take a deep breath and wait for the usual clinking of heels.
Nothing.
I push myself up on the desk and scan the area, looking for familiar blonde hair and a to-die-for body.
"Hey Santana"
That isn't the voice that greets me on the morning. I rotate my head to the right and see Tina sigh in frustration.
"Rachel isn't in a good mood and I'm assigned to do her extra work just because she's angry at her boyfriend. Pathetic."
I smile politely at her and used this moment to find Brittany again. Sadly, she really isn't here when the doors open and she's trotting inside with a straight face. I can't help but gleam at her perfection though.
"Brittany!" I squeal, surprising everyone in the building—even myself. No one has ever seen this side of me—not even Tina. I was never this excited about something but I push it aside and ran to her.
"Brittany, hi—I mean, good morning! How are you?"
I only discovered now that when I'm nervous I get really loud, cheery and impossible happy.
It seems to make Brittany smile though so I'm fine with it. She giggles and tries to cover it off by pushing the back of her hand against her nose. "Wow, that's new…"
I blush in embarrassment. "Sorry… I'm…I'm going to go back—No! I'm staying. That's right, staying right here"
Slapping my face is a very good idea right now.
Brittany grins and tilts her head to the side. "Answering you're question… how I'm feeling depends on the day you'll accept my request" she confesses, scratching her nose as I smile and take a deep breath.
"You know, I'm definitely going to get a point this time"
"Point in what?"
Looking around, I notice everyone minding his or her own business. Even Tina's off talking to Mike—finally.
"Do you think everyone has a choice to pick whom they love?" I ask, picking at my cloth.
Brittany nods vigorously. "Of course—that's a no brainer. We all have a choice, it's the challenges that make is seem impossible" she answers immediately.
I shake my head and wag my fingers. "Nope. Those in the games don't have a choice because they're programmed! Whatever the creator wants, they follow."
She groans and slumps her shoulders down. "You got me. Nice one Santana"
Licking my lips, I reach out for her right hand and intertwine them with my own fingers. "This isn't a video game though, this is reality right?"
Feeling her pulse quicken, I rub my thumb against smooth skin. "Therefore I have a choice. And I feel so dumb for letting my insecurities win"
Brittany blinks a couple of times before chuckling. "Oh yeah? What's your choice then?"
I lean in close to her ear and exhale slowly.
"My choice is you."
Fin.
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