AN: A post Darkness at the Edge of Town Rumbelle fic. Because I won't believe that any happy ending Rumple imagines for himself doesn't include Belle. Please remember this whole thing is thoughts from Rumple's mind, and I may not necessarily agree with his version of events.
I'd give anything (to hear you say it one more time)
The first step across the town line, and he can feel his magic fill him again. He feels his leg regain the strength it had lost without magic to hold it up. He flips his cane over his shoulder and saunters to the witches standing there, smirking at him. Part of him wants to wipe those smirks off of their faces, because this is so much bigger than whatever petty desires drove them to trust him.
A larger part of him revels in the power he had been stripped of. He feels whole again. He feels like he could take on the world.
He feels utterly empty.
Because here he is, on the cusp of victory. Back in Storybrooke, able to hunt down the author… and all he can think, is that he wants Belle. He wants to see her face, to kiss her, to beg her to remember the love they had shared, to let him come home.
And doesn't that gall. Because Belle sent him away. Rather than fight, as she always said she would fight, she chose to send him away. To banish him to be helpless and alone in the Land Without Magic, the land that took his son from him. It tears him apart to remember that, and he loves and loathes Belle with equal parts – inhale and he loves her, exhale and he hates her, and it's exhausting. It's exhausting, and it breaks him, because it's not really hate for her, he could never actually hate her, but hate for her actions, and loathing for himself, because even now he'll use her trusting nature against her, to get what he wants.
Theirs is a love that was doomed from the start, but that doesn't stop him from yearning for her, as he's never yearned for anything except perhaps Bae.
"Chernabog wasn't after Regina," he tells his witch companions, only half his mind on the task at hand, because there's the pawn shop, and just a little further down, one street over, is the house he shared with Belle. The home they had begun to make, and he wonders if she still lives there. "It was after Miss Swan."
It shouldn't surprise him, that the most powerful force of light magic also has the potential to be the most powerful force of dark, but somehow it does, and it makes Rumplestiltskin curse himself again – himself and Belle – because he shouldn't be so distracted. Not when there's so much at stake.
Not when his happy ending is up in the air.
In this world, Belle will never forgive him for this. But then, she's already banished him, so what were his chances of forgiveness to begin with? And it doesn't matter anymore. Not when the Author is within range, not when he can change it all, write himself a better ending. A happy one.
The Belle in that ending need never know about this one. They'll both be happier for it, that's what he tells himself. Because they're true loves, and now they're cursed to be separated… so isn't this really for them, not just him?
Oh, Rumple. It doesn't work that way. You don't get to rewrite history just because the one you have now doesn't suit.
He can hear her voice, not as it had been the last time they saw each other – filled with tears and betrayal and the order that he leave – but as he liked to imagine her voice. That mixture of fondness and exasperation, when he didn't seem to quite understand the morality that came so very easy to her.
"All we need is Maleficient," Ursula murmurs, drawing his attention back to her and Cruella, where it should be, because distraction could end in disaster, everything has to go just right.
But… just ahead and one street over.
"Indeed. And that will be up to you," Rumplestiltskin says, pointing between the witches. "Gain their trust, make relationships, get what we need so I can do what needs to be done behind the scenes."
His feet are carrying him away before he even finishes speaking.
"Where are you going?" Cruella demands, and he has to bite some snarky comment about gin or dogs or whatever it is that the woman likes to amuses herself with these days.
"I'm persona non grata in this town," he points out with feigned patience, as though she's a particularly slow child, that has Cruella grinding her teeth. "I can hardly be seen with you, in the middle of town, if we want to be successful, can I?"
Cruella sneers, but Rumple doesn't see her. He's already moving on.
Just ahead and one street over.
And he's there, looking up at the house. It's dark, and he thinks that maybe means that Belle isn't there. He knows he should turn away. He has plans, and if those plans are successful…
He'll have his happiness with her very soon.
But there's a tiny part of him, miniscule really, that doesn't want to be happy with her in some other reality. He wants her in this one. He wants her to smile at him again, and kiss him, and to tell him that they can fix this. That they've come through so much, and she isn't the type to give up.
He opens the door with his magic, steps inside.
It's stagnate.
She hasn't been here, he realizes. Not for a long while. Perhaps not for six weeks, since he left? Has she been keeping track? Marking the days down, each hour they've been separated, just as he had? Perhaps it's been too much for her, to come back to the home they shared, after sending him away.
She steps in further and hears a crunch. Takes a step back and looks down.
There they are, smiling at each other, unaware of the camera. It's their wedding photo, the one she had put in the beautiful silver frame and placed in the place of honor over the fireplace. Now the frame is bent at the corner, and the glass over the photo is shattered, scattered on the floor. He bends down and picks it up, the memory of a time when he thought he finally had it, his happiness. He didn't have Bae, but he had Belle, and God he had loved her when this was taken. He had been full of it, as he didn't think he could ever be.
If Rumplestiltskin had ever felt happiness, it was in that moment, immortalized on paper, now left to rot on the floor of the home Belle had abandoned, just as she had abandoned him.
And that's when the anger rises. Because how was this fair? How did she get to walk away, to forget them, when he had spent every day of six weeks longing for her – her blue eyes, her chestnut hair, her smile that made his world shine. She said she loved him, said she would never abuse the dagger… and then she used it to send him out of town.
Was it any wonder he chose to keep the real thing from her? When it was clear he couldn't trust her with it.
Rumplestitskin threw the frame at the wall, and when it hit, landing on the floor with a thud, he stared at the spot it had hit.
There had already been a dent in the wall, and he very nearly laughs when he realizes that he had thrown it at the exact same spot as Belle. He tries to picture her there, angry and railing, throwing the frame at the wall… it's a Belle he has trouble picturing, until he remembers her at the town line, eyes going cold as she spoke of losing herself in the pursuit of saving him.
And that Belle? Yes, that Belle he can see doing this. It's incredibly easy to imagine that Belle, that hurt, broken Belle wanting to destroy a memory of their happiness.
Rumplestiltskin's anger deflates, and grabs the wall to keep his legs from giving out.
He had done that, he realizes. He had pushed her too far, had broken her, and driven her to…
The part of him that doesn't want to find the Author is pushed ruthlessly aside, because this house, the shattered picture, has only shown him that what he is doing is right. Belle deserves better than what she got in this world. She deserves a happy ending that they'll never get here.
So yes, he's doing the right thing. He'll work with Cruelle and Ursula and Maleficent, and they'll change the world. They'll change the whole damn story.
It might not be in this reality, but in the next? Belle will smile at him again.
And never again will that smile be taken from him.
AN: And there it is. I hope you enjoyed! The title come from Saturn by Sleeping At Last, which gives major Rumbelle feels.