Author's Note: i warn you, this is a very odd story with angst and humor. But if you're familiar with Gintama, you'll be used to it. I don't own Gintama or I wouldn't have possibly killed the Shogun like Sorachi Hideaki, who is obviously the creator. Enjoy the story!

Gin's Talk

It hadn't been long after the battle between Gin and Takasugi, when Gin sat Shinpachi and Kagura down in the living room of the Yorozuya. The silver-haired samurai sat at his desk while Kagura and Shinpachi each sat on a couch.

They sat quietly, intently, as he began to speak, "Alright, since you both dealt with a lot after saving the Shogun, it's time."

"Time? For what?" Shinpachi asked anxiously.

"Food? Is it food?" Kagura asked excitedly.

With a vein throbbing on his temple, Gin said, "No, not food. Can I finish?"

"Aw, no food," the girl complained before he bopped her on the head with his fist.

"Let me talk, this is hard enough as it is okay? It's not bad, just hard to talk about," the sweets samurai tried to explain.

Shinpachi and Kagura quieted down as Gin started talking again, "Like I said, this is hard but here goes," he sighed heavily and continued, "When I was a kid, I lived in the Kansei area with my parents but I don't remember them really anymore."

They stayed quiet when he paused, thinking how he grew up.

"Hey Shinpachi, make some tea would you?" Gin asked suddenly.

The megane was surprised but he went and made tea while Kagura got some sukonbu. Gin got some rice crackers while the tea brewed.

Once the tea and snacks were on the table, Gin cleared his throat before going on, "One day, the Amanto attacked and destroyed the area in what's now known as the Kansei Purge. Afterwards, once I found that I was one of the only ones to survive, I wandered for a long time while I lived by stripping corpses and was known as a demon. That's how Shoyou-sensei found me."

Shinpachi spoke up quietly, "So you're an orphan and you survived on your own that young?"

He sighed and nodded. The young man looked pained to know that this man who'd been his friend for so long had gone through so much and this was only the beginning. Kagura looked thoughtful but didn't speak just yet.

"Sensei had heard about me through tales about the corpse-eating demon so he went to check it out. Boy, was he surprised to find a kid stripping corpses to live," Gin said and chuckled at the last part.

Shinpachi smiled and responded, "Well a Yato probably could, right Kagura-chan?"

Kagura giggled and replied, "Maybe but what happened next?"

Before he continued, he took a sip of his tea and ate a cracker. Kagura started munching on her sukonbu as Shinpachi ate a cracker and drank some of his tea too.

"I was eating a rice-ball when he put his hand on my head, Sensei said I was a cute demon but he'd startled me. I drew the sword I'd stolen off a dead body in self-defense. He didn't seem bothered and, with a simple smile on his face, it was his words that stayed with me. Sensei told me that a sword used for self-defense was worth throwing away, a sword is for protecting your soul and then he threw me his own sword. 'If you want to learn how to use a sword, follow me.' That's what I did too," Gintoki explained with a bit of a smile as he remembered those times.

Shinpachi was curious so he inquired, "You had to strip corpses? There was no one to help you at all?"

"Gin-chan," was all Kagura said as Gin sighed.

"Sorry Pattusan, you do what you have to do," the man said simply.

He looked as Shinpachi waited for him to go on and saw Kagura's blue eyes, filled with concern.

"Alright," he said, "I lived with him and became his student. Zura and Takasugi found his school but it cost them because Sensei's teachings were against the government. Zura really only had his grandma I guess since later, when we helped Takasugi, he said that since she died that he didn't have anywhere to go anymore. It was different for Takasugi though, he went to a military school with his family name paving the way. He got in trouble partly for Sensei's school and getting into fights. He got disowned eventually but he wouldn't back down with those thugs. Oddly enough, when I first met him, he tried to take our sign."

Kagura cocked her head to the side and asked in confusion, "Why steal a sign and why do you fight for it?"

Shinpachi settle in to explain, "He was a trouble making ronin, they would challenge dojos, and if they beat them, took their sign."

"Why?" she asked as she tilted her head to the side again.

Gin spoke up and explained, "It was about honor, without a sign on a dojo; you couldn't get students but it was also dishonorable."

"Oh," the young girl said as she sipped her tea.

The silver samurai pondered as he sipped his tea, put it down before continuing, "Obviously I beat him but he would never give up. Even when he joined the school, he always fought me."

"Did he ever win Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked.

The look on Gin's face when he asked that seemed to be their answer and Kagura asked, "So he did beat you? How many times?"

As she teased him, a tense mark flared as he finally exploded, "Only once did he ever pop my defeat cherry, you brats!"

The two of them were silent until Shinpachi asked, "Cherry? Must you be so vulgar?"

Kagura was confused so she questioned, "Why is it vulgar, what do cherries have to do with this?"

Nervously, both Gin and Shinpachi screamed, "Nothing!"

She blinked and said, "Okay but are you going to continue Gin-chan?"

"Oh, right. Both him and Zura would eventually join the school but they had and interesting start. I remember one time when some older brothers of kids that Takasugi had beat at his military school came around. I actually helped him and Zura, like i first met you Shinpachi," the sweets addict reminisced.

Shinpachi thought about it and asked, "Oh so you said, 'Gya gya gya, is it mating season you bastards?' Did you attack them too?"

He rolled his eyes at the otaku and said, "Along those lines, yes but i didn't beat those kids. Sensei showed up and pounded them all into the ground so fast with one punch to the head a piece."

"He sounds like he was really strong!" the Yato girl stated enthusiastically.

Gin smiled and responded, "He was. I remember that after that, he pounded all three of us down into the ground. Sensei told us that we were a hundred years too early to handle that. He was something else."

Kagura and Shinpachi smiled at the happy memory. They all sat and ate the crackers and sukonbu, before drinking their tea again.

When Gin put down his cup, he said, "Did you guys know that Zura was a prodigy? That's how he got into the same military school as Takasugi. He got picked on because he was poor."

"Really? Zura got picked on?" He seems like he'd kick the bullies' butts!"

Gin chuckled at that and replied, "Zura never wanted to lower himself to their level actually. He's only been a bit more aggressive since the war actually. I'll get to that soon enough."

"But Katsura-san, a prodigy? That's what I'm more surprised about. He acts sort of..." the megane said but trailed off as he hadn't wanted to say it out loud.

"Stupid? I know but that's only because he doesn't have any common sense. That's just Zura: smart but no common sense," the sweets samurai said jokingly.

They laughed a bit about that for a while and ate their snacks with their drinks.

Soon Kagura spoke up and asked, "So what was it like?"

Gin smiled as he remembered, "It was...nice. I felt more comfortable there even if I clung to the sword he gave me and slept in class a lot. He taught me all I know, all Zura and Takasugi know too. He had a point, Takasugi. He was taken away from us too soon but I was really lucky to have him as long as I did. This is in hindsight obviously since you don't think very clearly in those kind of situations."

"It must be hard to tell us this, Gin-chan," Kagura commented quietly.

He smiled and said, "Maybe but you guys need to hear this. You both deserve to know my past."

They nodded before he continued, "So we went on like that for a while but it didn't last. His teachings finally pushed them to arrest him, the government. We were devastated naturally but I took it really bad. Before they led him away, Sensei asked me to pinky promise to take care of everyone for him."

Kagura looked concerned and Shinpachi responded, "That's heavy for a pinky promise, it's kind of like what happened with Suzuran-san."

He nodded, "Yeah, I guess that's why I took it so seriously. After that, we were forced to fight in the Joui war to get sensei back. We trained so long and hard until we had gathered many comrades. That's when we met that empty head Tatsuma actually. He was from a fairly wealthy family, you wouldn't believe how we first met him."

"Really? How?" the two asked, quite interested.

He put up his hands to try to calm them as he answered, "'Relax, I'll tell you. We were waiting for the ship he was on to get there. As he was approaching on board, Takasugi said something about tsura. Naturally, Zura spoke his famous line, 'It's not Zura, it's Katsura!' Then we started talking about Tatsuma, wondering if he was a bon bon. You know, a young master from a wealthy family. Anyways, I made fun of Takasugi and we were close to brawling when Tatsuma's ship was almost there. We made fun of how he seemed to be spacing out but how wrong we were."

Gin chuckled while Kagura and Shinpachi laughed at his memory.

"You guys haven't changed, huh Gin-san?" the megane otaku said simply.

"Obviously megane, Zura is Zura and Gin-chan is Gin-chan," the Yato girl said as she rolled her eyes.

"So what happened then?" they asked the older man.

He shook his head and told them, "When he got off the boat and said nothing, we started trying to get his attention. Remember his motion sickness Yeah, he puked all over mine and Takasugi's heads. Nasty huh?"

"Ew!" Kagura exclaimed and stuck her tongue out.

Shinpachi shook his head and stated, "He hasn't changed obviously."

"Okay, enough funny stuff. Tatsuma was mainly a merchant even during the war. He could and did fight well enough, he did come from a good family where he learned the way of the sword. Katsura was pretty tough too but me and Takasugi were really feared. I was Shiroyasha and he was feared because of the Kiheitai, they were said to fight like demons. Remember his crew? That was like a revival of his small army he had during the war," the sweets addict explained as he chewed on a rice cracker.

"Oh like that weird strategist?" Shinpachi inquired.

"And dirty crotch?" Kagura questioned.

He chuckled at the odd nicknames and finished, "And that guy with the guitar, yeah those guys."

They stopped talking for a bit to eat their snacks and drink their tea.

"I'm going to go make more tea," the young bespectacled man said as he rose to go to the kitchen.

Silence pervaded until Kagura spoke up, "Gin-chan, are you okay?"

"Why would you ask that, Kagura?" he asked, perplexed.

She grabbed his hand and said in a quiet voice, "You seem...different. There's a lot of sorrow in your tone and your eyes."

Surprised, Gin blinked then answered, "That's pretty intuitive of you. It's just hard to really share all this but I'm okay. I need to talk about it, especially with my world."

"Hm?" the young redheaded girl asked in confusion as she tilted her head to the side.

"Yeah, what Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked as he brought in fresh tea and snacks.

Gin sighed and told Shinpachi what Kagura had said then explained, "I said that I need to talk about this, especially with my world. You guys, Kabuki-chou and Yoshiwara too are my world."

They smiled at those words as Shinpachi served them more tea and snacks.

"Well, you know how the war went. The Amanto won, killed many of our comrades and...my sensei," the sweets samurai said,, holding back his sorrow as best he could from his voice.

Kagura and Shinpachi listened quietly, heavily concerned of what they would learn.

Gin exhaled and began to tell them, "As we were all fighting, Zura and Takasugi were captured and tied up. Then they surrounded me and showed us that they had sensei. Earlier, when we were fighting, Takasugi and I had made a promise. He asked me to protect Sensei and I told him to stay alive."

Both of the young people gulped as they waited to hear more.

"Basically, they told me I had a choice," his voice started to crack as he continued, "Either Sensei would die, Zura and Takasugi would die or we'd all die. The choice was impossible but..."

Kagura covered her mouth with her hands as Shinpachi gasped.

"You don't mean..." the young samurai asked silently, not actually voicing what he wanted to.

Gin turned his head and stated simply, "Since the three of us are alive, Sensei obviously died. Only...I was the one who had to behead him. His last words to me were thanks, I can only imagine what it was like for Zura and Takasugi to witness that. That bastard Oboro threw a short knife into Takasugi's eye when he struggled to stop me."

Shinpachi's face was blank as he couldn't speak, he couldn't believe what he had just heard. Kagura's reaction was to run and hug Gin after going to his side of the table. She silently cried into his chest as she squeezed herself to him and Shinpachi came to hug him too. Gin had let his tears fall just as silently as he hugged the two people that were his world, where he belonged.

They just sat like that for a bit before Shinpachi spoke up, "So what happened with Asaemon-san..."

Gin sighed and nodded, "Yeah, I empathized with her over that. I saved her because I figured that if I had to die, then i could save someone like Sensei did for me."

"Wait a second, Gin-chan, If you had gotten beheaded..." the Yato girl began until Shinpachi voiced her fear, "You wanted to die after that happened with your sensei. You were suicidal?"

The silver samurai flushed a little and turned his head to the side," I'm not particularly proud of everything I've ever done in my life. It was probably the best day of my life, apart from when I met you guys, when I found Babaa at her husband's grave. After first meeting Asaemon and Sensei's school had been burned down, I did get the school rebuilt for a bit but...you know how the Amanto must have reacted. Things were really bad, enough that I ended up in that graveyard in winter and starving. I promised her late husband to protect her after I ate her offering at his grave, like I told you with those Four Devas. The rest is history really, I found something to keep me going and tried to follow Sensei's teachings as best i could until you guys came into my life. I actually never intended to have people so close to me again but..."

"We came crashing into your life, huh Gin-chan?" Kagura said as her tears were drying and she smiled up at him.

He smiled at this cheeky brat and confirmed, "Yeah, until you and Pattusan made your entrances."

"So is that why you acted so cold when Umibozou-san wanted to take her back, despite Kagura-chan's feelings?" the young man questioned as he thought how everything happened back then.

Embarrassed, the sweets addict said, "Yeah, I just wanted what was best for her and...I didn't feel like I could provide that. Besides, I told Hage that I wanted her to have a happy family since I never really had one. It's funny how someone who never had one knows how truly important family really is."

Kagura grinned ear to ear before shouting, "But you have a family now Gin-chan, you have us here in Kabuki-chou and in Yoshiwara too!"

Gin and Shinpachi both grinned with her as they had a group hug, that is until Sadaharu jumped into the hug. He licked Kagura and yipped among them, making them laugh when Gin's head was bit by the giant Inugami.

"Arrgh!" he yelled as the other two tried to extract their friends' head from the giant alien dog's mouth.

Once they got him free, with blood running down his face, people rushed through their front door. Among them were Otae, Otose, Catherine, Tama, Hasegawa, Okita, Hijikata, Kondou, the rest of the Shinsengumi and even more of Kabuki-chou plus Yoshiwara! The simple heartfelt hug between the Yorozuya was turned into a giant hug of the people that make his life meaningful.

"You guys are all crazy but I wouldn't have it any other way," the silver samurai told his friends as he hugged Kagura and Shinpachi.

Everyone just hugged their crazy Yorozuya and Gin smiled while thinking, 'Sensei, I hope you're proud of me. I might not have everything but I have what's really important like you always taught me!'

End