Author's note

This is the sequel of "Confessions". It's not strictly necessary to read the first part, but I highly recommend you to do it. From now on it will be a Liara & Femshep story. In my take Liara didn't confessed that she was the one to recover Shepard's body.

I hope you like where this is going and remember to leave a comment!

I do not own Mass Effect. If I do, things would be completely different.

As soon as Shepard exited Miranda's office, still wearing her armor, she went to her quarters. She definitely needed to get rid of these clothes as soon as possible. She still smelled the blood and the medigel that was spread almost all over her body. And everything was the Illusive Man's fault. That fucking idiot is going to get us all killed!

She entered her room and fed Paiky and her fishes. She then went to her bed and stripped herself. It felt so good to be off the armor.

"EDI, block the door. Nobody enters or calls me unless it's something serious, understood?" She said while walking towards the bathroom.

"Yes Commander."

"Thank you EDI."

Now she had time to think without anyone to interrupt her. It was weird what happened with Miranda. She always thought no one could make her XO feel anything, she even tried to kill Niket, but what she confessed was… unexpected. Shepard herself hadn't given to much thought about what had happened with her. She knew that when she was talking with her she forget about the war, and her burdens seemed to go far away. That's everything that mattered and she was aware that she had been selfish, but there was a lot at stake. She needed her mind clear and Liara was not there to offer the calm and peace that she usually gave her with only a look into her deep blue eyes.

All the guilt was coming now to haunt her. Was it her fault that Miranda felt something for her? Did she forget that Miranda was still human after all? Did she even care? Yes. Of course she cared. She knew deep in her heart that if she had never met Liara, for whom she would fight was for Miranda. She could have fallen in love with her easily, but things were different. She loved Liara more than anything and even if the asari no longer felt the same, she was sure she will love Liara for the rest of her life. She would die to give her a future without war and pain.

Shepard had her hand on the wall while hot water was running over her body. Her eyes were closed and her head lowered. She would not go to the Collector's home world without knowing what Liara felt for her and where their relationship stood. She might not return alive and she wasn't going to waste any minute of her time wondering about what could be.

"EDI, tell Joker to set a course to Illium."

"Commander, according to the Illusive Man our mission is to find the Reaper IFF as soon as–"

"I know, but this is MY ship and I'm in command of MY ship, so please do it."

"Understood Commander."

She was going to face Liara now, neither she wanted it or not.

-o-

"Commander, we have arrived to Nos Astra." Shepard was already dressed in her casual clothes and sat on the edge of the bed with her fingers intertwined and her elbows resting on her knees.

"Thank you EDI. Inform the crew to fill supplies and verify weapons. When they finish they are on shore leave until I'm back."

"Understood, Commander. Log in you out."

She stood there, looking at her intertwined fingers and wondering what was she really going to tell to Liara. She needed to know where their relationship stood and of course found out what Miranda meant by asking Liara how they recovered Shepard's body.

She finally got up and started walking towards the door. She knew Miranda was not going to stop her.

Once she exited the Normandy, she headed towards Liara's office. Liara didn't hire another assistant, so there was nobody at the desk in front the door. Shepard faced the door and took a breath before opening it. No one had the code to enter Liara's office except for Shepard.

As soon as the door opened Liara lifted her head and looked straight into Shepard's eyes.

"Shepard! What are you doing here?" She was at her desk, probably gathering information on the Shadow Broker. She seemed surprised and confused to see Shepard standing there again.

"I came back to talk with you." Shepard said walking towards Liara.

"I thought your work in Illium was already done. Do you need more information?"

"I'm not here to talk about work and data." She said stopping by the chairs in front of Liara's desk.

"Then, what do you want to talk about?"

"You and… Us."

"Shepard I… I cannot do this right know. It's not a good time." There was that stupid excuse again.

"And when is a good time? When I go through the Omega 4 relay? When the reapers attack? When I die again?" Shepard noticed Liara's eyes trembling when she pronounced the word die. "You know this moment is the best we can afford!"

"I don't know what you expect from me." She said calmed at the same time her eyes fixated on the desk, not wanting to look into those green eyes. Shepard, on the other hand only wanted to look into Liara's eyes to know if there was anything left of HER Liara there. She pressed her hands on the desk for support and leant forward slightly.

"I want an explanation at least. Why you treated me like that when I came here to see you?"

"You were gone for two years!" Liara retorted at the same time she got up. Shepard's response was almost immediate. She withdrew her hands from the desk and stepped back.

"Don't you think I know that? But now I'm back. Why are you not happy?"

"It's not that I'm not happy. It's just… a lot has changed."

"Is this because of that friend you told me about? Are you with him?" Only a few seconds passed until Liara answered her, but it seemed like hours for Shepard. What if Liara has found someone else who made her happy?

"What? No!" Unconsciously, Shepard closed her eyes and took a deep breath just to absorb what just Liara said. She felt relieved.

"Then, what has changed? I'm the same person, but I'm not sure if you are still the shy scientist I saved in Therum."

Liara turned her back to Shepard and hugged herself. "Please, don't do this…"

"What exactly am I doing Liara? You have to understand that for me it was only some hours. I awakened in an unknown station, when I was supposed to be in bed with you in my arms. Then I remembered everything. I remembered how I woke up with you by my side when the explosions began and then there was chaos everywhere. I experience the pain that I felt when I died every time I think of it. You know what always come to mind when I think of it? You." Shepard approached Liara, but the asari was still facing the trading room floor. "It was always you. I tried to reach you, but I never got an answer. Why?"

"I've never received any messages from you."

"I knew the Illusive Man was restricting my emails. But why didn't you get in touch? You are an information broker and you said your sources informed you that I was alive."

"Shepard don't you think I wanted to see your face again? But I couldn't do that."

"Why?"

Liara's eyes narrowed. "Because I felt guilty and didn't have the strength to face you!"

"It wasn't your fault." Shepard reached out and gently placed her hand on Liara's shoulder. The moment Shepard's hand touched her, she jerked away breathing heavily. Shepard stood there surprised for this reaction. It really terrified her. "Please Liara, tell me what's wrong. Talk to me. You are scaring me." She was almost begging and Shepard never begged.

Liara was still facing the market trying to regain composure. When they kissed in that office the first time, she made a promise to avoid touching Shepard. It was painful enough to look into her eyes. That kiss brought back all the memories. She felt Shepard's heart beating at the same time as her own while they were making love for the first time, but she also felt her own heart being ripped apart when she heard Joker worst news through the com in that escape shuttle two years before.

"Shepard I'm not the same. You appeared in my life and made feel things I've never felt with anyone in my life and then you were gone. Everything that was warm and happy disappeared. There was only cold and pain." She turned around to face Shepard. "Your… death changed me. It froze me."

A/N: Reviews is what I eat when I'm writing :)