I felt a knot form in the pit of my stomach as I approached the massive double doors that concealed the Council's Chamber. I knew why they had summoned me, and I knew what they were going to say. I took a deep breath and pushed the doors open.
They were all in attendance. Every councilor seated on their thrones, all of which were arranged in a semi-circle around an ancient pillar. They all regarded me gravely as I stepped forward to face them. None seemed eager to break the tense silence. At length, Atris rose from her throne and regarded me with a look of pure hatred. I gazed defiantly back into her cold blue eyes.
"I think we can skip the pleasantries here and get straight to the point. You have been summoned here because you defied our orders and followed Revan into battle. The usual punishment for this transgression would be exile, however, you are a special case." she said. Her tone was as hard as steel and devoid of any mercy. The rest of the council seemed uneasy, but no one spoke. It seemed I was one of the few who would blatantly defy the great Councilor Atris. She once again fixed me with her cold gaze. Her ice-blue eyes pierced my own with an intensity I had not felt in a long time. I suppressed a shudder.
"Yes, I can see it in your eyes. You know exactly what I speak of. You are an empty shell of a Jedi; a living wound that can never be healed. Your taint must be separated from the rest of us. You are to be forever barred from the Force. This is your punishment." I felt a shock of panic run through my body as she stepped towards me.
She was right, I had felt different after the war. When I encountered another Force user, a strange thing happened. It was as if I absorbed their power, their very life, and took it as my own. I hated myself for it, but at least I was still one with the Force, regardless of how perverted I had become. What Atris proposed was unimaginable. I could not even fathom what my life would be like, if I even lived past this.
The panic inside me grew to near hysteria as she continued her approach. Her piercing eyes still bore into me. I wanted nothing more than to drop to my knees and beg for her mercy, and would've done it as well, if it hadn't been for the small smile that played about her pale lips. It was almost imperceptible; the other councilors wouldn't have seen it. That smile re-fueled my rebellious attitude of before. I straightened my posture and looked her right in the eyes, effectively shattering her smirk and replacing it with an ugly frown.
She reached out with the Force, and I felt that I could not move. I watched in paralyzed horror as she gently rested her hand against my forehead. As she reached into my mind, long-forgotten memories flashed into my consciousness. Suddenly, the flashing images ceased, and I felt Atris's presence in my very soul. It was strange at first, and not entirely unpleasant. Atris and I had been close at one time, but all of that ended when I followed Revan to the battlefield. I had missed her greatly, and feeling her presence within me reminded me of how I used to know her. A swell of tender affection overcame me for just a few seconds before my entire world became one of unimaginable pain.
It was as if she was ripping my very life force violently from my body. My perception of things changed instantly. Everything seemed dull and colorless. I suddenly felt clumsy and awkward in my body. Sounds weren't as sharp, smells weren't as prevalent, and my brain felt foggy. I collapsed to the ground and lay there pathetically. Exhaustion didn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. The world seemed cold and devoid of meaning. I whimpered and looked up at Atris. She looked down on me with an expression of disgust. She turned and seated herself back on her throne.
"Begone from this place." she commanded. That was the last thing I heard before darkness overtook me.