AN:
CARD 1: THE CHARIOT (UPRIGHT) -
The Chariot represents conquest,victory and overcoming opposition through your confidence and control. Any success will be a result of applying these factors to the situation. You will need to use the strength of your willpower to overcome any obstacles or challenges in your way. You may even find that by leveraging any opposing forces surrounding you at this time you can use them to your advantage. You must be determined, self-disciplined, and hard working. If you are, you will triumph over any difficulties or anyone who is trying to limit you. This struggle will ultimately make you stronger.
CARD 2: STRENGTH (UPRIGHT) -
The Strength Tarot card represents strength, determination, and power in a manner similar to the , the differences between the two Tarot cards are obvious.
Where the Chariot represents outer strength and will, the Strength card represents inner strength and the power of the human spirit to overcome any obstacle. The meaning of the Strength Tarot about knowing that you can endure life's obstacles by drawing upon your inner strength and confidence. You have great stamina and persistence, tempered by an underlying patience and inner calm. You are focused on what you need to do, and you go about it in a way that demonstrates great composure and maturity.
CARD 3: THE HANGED MAN (REVERSED) - The Hanged Man reversed represents a period when you feel you are sacrificing a lot and getting nothing in return. You may have felt things were at an absolute standstill, with no movement or resolution. It is as though you are suspended in time and unable to make a move forward, backward or even sideways to get out of your current situation. Your own goals and dreams are put on hold because of external realities or internal issues. This is an energy that is passing out of your life and you can now expect things to start happening once again and major changes to occur. This period of suspension is like a catalyst for what is to come.
CARD 4: TEMPERANCE (REVERSED)
- Temperance reversed reflects a time when something is out of balance, in conflict or excessive, and is therefore creating stress and tension in your life. Look to the other cards in the reading to understand what is out of balance or contributing to this feeling. Temperance reversed can also be a lead indicator that, were you to follow a certain path, you would create imbalance in the situation.
You may be acting impatiently or refusing to take the moderate, gentle approach. Be wary of hasty action as this will only lead to further imbalance.
CARD 5: THE TOWER (UPRIGHT) -
How many times have you sat safely within the narrow confines of your life, comfortable in your current thoughts, beliefs and expectations? Then, out of the blue, something 'shocking' happens that completely destroys your picture of peace . It blows your mind or throws you for a loop. There is a sudden realisation that your comfort was based on an inadequate foundation of false thought, belief and action. This is a humbling, frightening but necessary experience. When you see the Tower in a reading, you may feel afraid, shaken and insecure. It is a time of great turmoil and destruction as you seek to understand how you been so wrong, so naive, or so blind about a particularly situation. And now, what will you do and how will you manage face of this shocking truth?
You may be experiencing sleepless nights, depression, grief, anger and confrontation. These are normal reactions to major changes in your outer and inner worlds.
AN2: This is set pre battle at the ministry and after the breakout from Azkaban.
The key to victory was self-discipline, control and strength that was what the Dark Lord had installed into her from their very first lesson. If you didn't have that or at least to appear to have it then you were sure to fail and failure wasn't something the Dark Lord accepted.
Even if you had the best the world it was never accepted, you should have controlled the situation.
And on the battlefield she was strong and confident more than anyone else, it was why so many had died at her hand and why there was three dead Aurors at her feet. When they had showed panicked faces and no discipline she had looked fearless and confident, strong and powerful. She had tripmuaned and the Dark Lord would be please.
Pleasing him was all that had ever mattered to her and failing at wasn't something she did.
She never doubted that she would succeed even though she had only been out of Azkaban a few weeks she was strong again and the winner of the battle, it hadn't been easy to get strong again.
She knew that on the outside she looked a crazy mess and she used that to her advantage, to install fear.
The other death eaters were afraid her, her sister was afraid her and when the Dark Lord revealed to the world he was back the rest of the world would be afraid her when she could roam freely.
Yes she looked a crazy and acted it on the outside, but on the inside she was calm and collected. Filled with great patience which she had used to survive Azkaban; drawing on the strength she had inside day after day whereas the others didn't have that inner strength and succumbed to weakness.
She didn't lay there howling like a baby that missed its mother for hours on end.
Of course there had been days when she wondered if she had sacrificed her freedom for a loyalty to someone that may never come back. Those days she haf needed that strength more than anything to get by and she had gotten through it. On the days that freedom and a warm fire seemed like a dream cruelly snatched away from her and was never going to be returned her inner strength had kept her alive.
When she felt her dark mark burn again she had felt shame at ever having doubted that her sacrifice and loyalty was in vain.
The physical weaknesses she had first felt when she woke at Malfoy Manor with her sister hovering over her was another time she had to rely on that inner strength she once didn't know she had.
And once she had accepted that her physical strength and stamina returned.
This little mission was a test to see if she was still as good as she was before Azkaban and she was.
Maybe she even better.
Maybe the years of coldness had improved her as a warrior.
Azkaban had been her fault, she understood that now.
The grief for the Dark Lord, the depression of losing someone she loved and impatience at needing to know what happened to him had led to a careless decision.
But it was really the anger that ultimately was her downfall at the time.
Now the anger wasn't there she knew she should have killed the Longbottoms after the first hour of not getting any answers on how the Potter brat survived, but she didn't.
She continued and continued with pure anger flooding her body even after their screams became that of insanity instead of pain. Even when ten Aurors bursted through the door she couldn't stop so consumed by grief that torturing the Longbottoms seemed to be the only thing that mattered.
She could have at her trial claimed to be under the Imperius curse like so many had and avoided Azkaban like her cowardly brother- in- law.
But she didn't deny anything she did and her loyalty wasn't in doubt unlike all the others.
Now she was free and the Dark Lord was back but the Potter brat still lived and Dumbledore still plotted to keep the Dark Lord from power.
This had kept her awake at night, now if Dumbledore and Potter could just die then nothing could stop the Dark Lord.
Nothing could stop her from helping him conquer.
If they couldn't die then she hoped at least Snape would, the filthy untrustworthy half-blood.
Bellatrix knew he wasn't loyal and how continued to blind the Dark Lord he was, was a complete mystery to her.
The Dark Lord's trust in him made her anxious not that she would tell the Dark Lord that.
Because he might take offence or believe that she no longer believed in him. She did, but she didn't believe in Snape and it was very conflicting not being able to trust a decision of the Dark Lord's.
She'd always believed in him and his cause even when she had found out that he wasn't a pureblood she never lost faith in him.
Yet she couldn't get him to see that trusting Snape was wrong.
Then she'd never been able to convince him of something he didn't want to believe. If she could then he would have sent someone else to kill Potter that night and victory would have been theirs then.
Not that the ministry or Dumbledore would ever admit it, but then it was a matter of weeks before the Dark Lord would been in full power.
Now they had to start all over again, gather new recruits and form new alliances with Potter being the symbol of hope and Dumbledore the symbol of protection.
The Dark Lord was adamant that once he got the prophecy and fully heard it then he'd be able to defeat Potter.
She knew that was going to be her next mission to go and retrieve the prophecy from the ministry.
The Dark Lord had said he had plan to lure Potter to the ministry to get it so they could get from him. He also said that they could kill as many of Potter's friends as they wanted, but no one was to kill Potter.
She didn't quite agree with that and if she got the chance to kill Potter then she would.
She wasn't going to let it be like last time and lose the Dark Lord because of that brat.
Maybe the Dark Lord would kill het for disobeying him but that was better than losing him was better than losing him again.
Not that she would tell him that because he didn't like people having emotions. Caring about or loving someone was a weakness in his eyes.
But she loved him enough to face risking his wrath and keeping him alive to rule.
AN3: yeah I know this isn't my best work and forgive the probably many SPaG errors.