Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I don't own any character in this short little dialogue thing. No, not even the apple. I own the plot though :D
A/N: What is this Drapple nonsense? Is it some craze that occurred because of Tom Felton's succulent looking, luscious lips kept a s;dlkje;ad, Okay, I get why it happened. But... really? So this is my little thing in mockery of it. All in good fun, of course :) You may interpret who won the contest to your own liking.
It Was Never a Contest
"I don't understand why? Am I so..."
"It's not that at all! It's just... so sweet and... perfect!"
"So our relationship is not sweet and completely imperfect!"
"That didn't come out right, did it?"
"You better rephrase it within five seconds, or you're a dead bloke!"
"Hermione, it's not what it looks like. I was seduced!"
"Oh? How? I'm sure the round body type is capable of doing so!"
"Round can be beautiful!"
"Defending-"
"Theoretically speaking."
"Is it really over because of this?"
"No, Hermione! I can change. Just let me... finish up and I'll eat you up next."
"I'll pretend your sexual innuendo was not there, and say this: I will not wait for you to finish up whatever it is you were doing. I am... I just... bloody hell, Draco!"
"I'm sorry, never, ever, never again! I love you."
"I understand that you're... on high demand... but an apple? I think I would be less offended if it were a Victoria Secret model!"
"Victoria Secret?"
"Muggle lingerie store."
"You can model lingerie for me."
"If I did... how would I compare to that apple?"
"It was never a contest."