I'd never been overly talented at any particular profession. Nobody's fault, really, and so I didn't go blaming people melodramatically like a lot of people do. For that matter, I never even drew an unemployment check. I lived off of odd jobs around town, things that nobody else was willing to do.

I rescind my former statement. I was good at two things, neither one of which was really career material. I was good at singing, and I excelled at extermination. Extermination being read there as assassination. Of course, as I stated above, not exactly career material.

Right up until about a year ago, that is. On March 12th, at exactly 10:00 A.M., when both of them came through underneath the Golden Gate Bridge. Naturally, the first response was from the police, then the National Guard and the HAZMAT squad, right on up to the White House. Legislation ran along as it will do, and suddenly we've got ourselves a new set of interplanetary allies.

I was there on the day they were first introduced on Capital Hill, and purely out of fascination I used my savings to follow their tour of the globe as far as I could go. I was forced to stop just before the final meeting due to a lack of funds, but I'd seen enough. This was growing far too popular to just be a fad. The night I returned to my humble little apartment I began planning my new life in the land soon to be opened to humanity.

That was a long year. It took two full months to get transit up and running just because of the red tape, and finally when it did open up, it was a mad scramble to get to the new land known as Equestria. It finally became something of a need issue when the United Nations started intentionally asking after folks who had skills that could support them in the new society. I was one of the lucky ones, being one of maybe five reliable carpenters in a hundred mile radius. I got called to San Francisco on June 1st, two days before my birthday.

The portal didn't look like much, even after I'd been briefed on it's operation. Nothing but a haze in midair, like what comes off of concrete in summer. Despite my misgivings, I stepped through and was swept into a rushing wind amongst a lot of chatter. I realized that my eyes were closed and I pried them open to reveal a small crowd of ponies and humans mingling.

Don't get me wrong, I'd become somewhat used to the prospect of talking ponies before I'd come here, but seeing them en masse like this was something new entirely. Just as I'd adjusted myself to the sight, one of them approached me. She was wearing an adorable 50s style nurse's cap, and I had just realized that she was in fact a nurse when she spoke. "So, you must be...Mr. Terreson?" I nodded. "Alrighty then. If I could just have you fill this out right quick, we'll get you set...oh?" I raised an eyebrow. I was used to customs, but I wasn't overly used to 'oh?'.

"Something wrong?" She glanced up, her pupils dilating as I spoke. I chided myself silently. I'd had to keep my voice low ever since the age of sixteen. A common problem of mine was the simple fact that until I start singing my voice sounds like Elvis. Once I start a song, I can be anyone I want, but just talking to a girl casually gives me an almost unfair advantage, even if they've never listened to the King in their lives. It's just the voice.

"Well, I've got an order form here for you that says you'll need to check in with...wait a minute, that can't be right. He hasn't been here for almost a year now." She turned, clearly meaning to summon her superior when suddenly her eyes bulged. I turned to see what the deal was and was immediately greeted to the sight of a unicorn stallion. His coat was solid white, his mane was a two-tone blue, and he radiated authority like a general. "P-Prince Shining Armor!" She dropped to a kneel immediately, but he rolled his eyes and lifted her back up with his magic.

"Would you happen to be Joseph K. Terreson?" His look was directed very clearly at me, and I realized right about now that the room had gone silent. Sure, put me on the spot, why don't you?

"Yes sir, I would." He nodded satisfactorily.

"I appreciate you being here early. If you'd come with me, please." He strolled across the room through a door at the back, leaving me to follow him or be stared to death by the lovestruck mares and dumbstruck humans.

I made to the back room just as he spun around to see me once again. "So, Mr. Terreson, I understand you're something of a...professional?" Well, there were a lot of ways to answer that, so let's narrow it down a little.

"To what field do you refer, sir?" He chuckled, flipping up a piece of paper out of his breastplate.

"Let's see here...marksman records with a standard rifle never less than 39/40...ninth degree black belt in both jujitsu and kung fu...wanted for sniper school at least three times...and you've competed for the world record in pistol fast-drawing. Twice. In fact, the only reason you're not in Special Operations right now is because of a temporary shoulder wound that was misdiagnosed and put you out of the Marines, am I right?" I chuckled a little at his calm demeanor while reading all of that off. To be fair, he probably didn't find it that impressive, considering how little experience he had had with humans. I'd heard about Shining Armor once or twice. He reportedly spent most of his time in the Crystal Empire with his wife, Princess Cadance.

"Well, I never made the record, but yes, all of the above is true. What about it?" I felt a bit odd speaking to a prince in that fashion, but something told me he didn't really care about how I spoke to him.

"Look, Joseph. An increasing problem in Equestria with the influx of humans is the simple fact that violence happens. It's everypony's fault, really, but we're not going to stop it without stopping the traffic entirely, so we need to find ways to manage it. Dozens of your people have been hired already as peacekeepers, so that's not what we need you for." Good grief, could he beat around the bush a little more about it?

He seemed to sense my discomfort with his manner of speaking and paused, taking a breath. "How would you like to be a personal guard for Princess Celestia?" I will admit, hearing that said aloud threw me for a loop. I clapped a hand to my chin and started rubbing, not even thinking of what I was doing. I mean, honestly, I had just learned basic Equestrian etiquette a week ago. I knew I wasn't supposed to show teeth when I smiled and I wasn't supposed to eat meat. No big deal there. Also, never bring up the subject of glue. But being the guard of Princess Celestia herself...

"Why me?" He shrugged before he began speaking again, indicating that he really didn't want to offend me with what he said, but it was still the truth.

"Human society was built on violence and peace coming back and forth in waves. We've understood that from the beginning, and we overlook it because we like who you've become as a people. We have enough to offer one another that the risk of violence is lowered. But as much as I hate to say it..."

"Humans are still a violent people. I know. And bringing us to a setting this defenseless is just asking for that to come out in a bad way. So you want me, the best you could find without breaking a military contract, to come in and make sure you at least keep your own cosmos in order." He shrugged again, nodding slowly. "Well, it beats building mailboxes. I'm in." He grinned pleasantly.

"Excellent. We'll have your kit brought in and you'll be reporting to Canterlot Castle in two hours." I raised an eyebrow.

"My kit?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Your weapons kit and the standard out-wash for magic immunity. See?" His horn sparked, but unlike usual, nothing happened. He furrowed his brow and tried once more. I looked around for some sign as to exactly what he was doing, but to no avail. Finally he gave up and gave me a strange look. "Incredible. I've never met a human with that much magic tolerance. I bet Twily would love to meet you." I blanched a little here.

"As in Princess Twilight?" It took me a moment to realize that the two of them were siblings. "Oh. Well, if you say so." He gave a confused look at me as I followed him out of the back room and through the registration office, straight out the front door.

The city was gigantic, even larger than I was expecting. It looked a bit like New York, actually, but without the Empire State Building. Still, quite impressive for a society that existed without the use of fingers.

"I imagine you can find Canterlot Castle on your own." I spun around once, making sure I could in fact see the gargantuan castle rising above the skyline. "Make sure you're there in two hours, and in the meantime I'd suggest finding a clearing so the mailpony can find you. Once your kit is delivered, you'll be ready to start. Good luck, Mr. Terreson." I looked down at him, only now realizing how short these ponies were. He only came up to my waist, and yet he radiated such utter confidence and authority. Strange people, these ponies.

"Thank you, sir."

This is going to be one of my more serious stories, so please don't expect to see any major humor here, but that's not to say I won't use references. For example, in paragraph 3, there's a reference to one of my favorite franchises of all time. Please leave a review if you caught it, and I'll see you in the next one.