Code 9995

Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight but I'd like to…

BPOV

Rose and I had just left the food court at the Port Angeles Mall and decided to bite the bullet and meet back up with Alice. The evil Pixie had begged, bribed and cajoled us into going out for an all girls shopping trip this morning. Esme was supposed to join us but had some divine intervention when Carlisle threw her over his shoulder then ran up to their bedroom at vampire speed. Listening to my vampire parents get it on was something my poor human ears must never hear again. From the looks on my sisters' faces, they more than agreed with me. Besides, I was already scarred for life after the last time.

My weird jacked up life was finally starting to look up. Charlie had thrown me out after I'd gotten out of the hospital in Phoenix and Renee had gotten knocked up so there was no room with her and Phil so I ended up moving in with the Cullen's. A month later, Carlisle and Esme officially adopted me. When we move at the end of the school year, I'll start going by Bella McCarty but that has more to do with the unique relationship Rose, Emmett and I share now that Prudeward has been kicked to the curb. We were just about to pass the information desk when the radio of the Security Guard that was flirting with the girl at the desk squawked.

"All Officers, respond to Classic Designs Boutique. Code 9995," a panicked voice called out. The guard looked confused then pulled out a small handbook from his pocket and started flipping through it until he stopped on a specific page. The color drained from his face and he bolted in the direction of the boutique but had dropped his book on the counter in his haste.

Deftly, Rose placed the oversized purse we shared over the book then asked the young woman behind the counter directions to Pac Sun. She thanked the girl after getting said directions then slid the purse off the counter so that the book fell into my waiting hand. We started to wander in the general direction the guard had run and I quickly skimmed what turned out to be Employee Handbook until I found Code 9995. I tripped as I tried not to laugh at what I'd just read and the blonde vampire arched her perfectly shaped eyebrow in question. She took the pocket sized tome from my hand and burst into giggles less than a second later.

"Alice," we said simultaneously when she looked back at me then both had to sit down on a nearby bench because we were laughing so hard.

After fifteen minutes, we stopped and Rose dog-eared the page and circled the code with a pen then placed the book into the purse and we headed to the security office to spring our sister. The smaller vampire looked like somebody had thrown her into the deep end of a pool by the time we reached her. Her normally spiky hair, along with her very fashionable clothes, was plastered to her and her make-up had run which had given her raccoon eyes. Alice was pissed that she was soaked and that we'd taken so long to get her. She sulked all the way out to her Porsche then sat in the back while her sister drove.

Thanks to Rosalie's crazy assed vampiric need for speed, we arrived at home in less than twenty minutes. Alice was still dripping when she flashed out of the car and into the house. That left the two of us to bring in all the shopping bags from the trunk.

"Alice, dear, why are you soaking wet," we heard our mother ask when we made our way inside.

APOV

What had started out as a fun day of shopping had turned horribly wrong when those stupid Security Guards threw buckets of water on me for no good reason while I was asking the sales girl in my favorite boutique when the Fall line was going to come in. I'd had a vision as the mall cops where hauling me away of my so-called sisters laughing their asses off while they read some book instead of rescuing me from these Stormtroopers. Then the bitches had the nerve to not share the joke but tease me all the way home. As soon as we got back home, I was in serious need of comfort so I rushed inside to get a hug from my mother.

"Alice, dear, why are you soaking wet," Esme asked me while I cuddle into her arms but I was interrupted before I could answer.

"Well, apparently, little miss fashionista here caused a scene in Classic Designs while Rose and I were getting me some lunch. The new styles weren't on the racks and she went off on the poor sales girl, who ended up calling security. The first Security Guard to respond called a Code 9995. They doused her with a couple of buckets of holy water then dragged her off to the Security Office. Needless to say, the Pixie has been banned from the mall for life," Bella chirped with amusement while my other sister pulled a small book from her purse and tossed it to Carlisle to be passed around.

The entire family, including my loving mother, was laughing after the read something my sisters had marked in the book. I started to pout but then Esme showed me the appropriate passage: Code 9995 – Demonic Possession; douse the subject with Holy Water then wait for Religious backup.

If it were at all possible, I'd have been blushing with embarrassment. I ran upstairs and took a hot shower then changed before rejoining my family. Emmett looked at me as I snuggled into my Jasper's lap.

"I needed to pick up some new clothes and thought about heading up to Olympia or Seattle, do you want to come," he asked me and I nodded then he continued, "Great, I'll just call ahead so that a young priest and an old priest can meet us there."

I'm never going to be able to live this down, I thought mirthlessly as everyone snickered.

AN: Just a quick one-shot to keep you happy while I work on updates for my other stories. Twilight Blues, Wyld Child and Spurs are all in line for updates over the next few days. Twilight Blues will definitely be finished by the end of the week and possibly one other.