A Bitter Pill To Swallow

A/N : This scene was originally written for inclusion in my other story Christmas Break but as the scene unfolded it became quite long so I decided to make a story of it in it's own right. It is also born from my own personal dislike of taking oversized pills of any kind. :-)

This story is also posted with the kind permission of briroch who recently posted a story about a slightly different aspect of Steve's dislike of painkillers. If you haven't already read "Forty Minutes" by briroch it is well worth a look.

I hope you like my latest humble offering.

Mike entered from the kitchen and stood over Steve where he was sitting on the couch. The bullet wound that had torn the muscles up in his right shoulder only three days before, during a gunfight that had erupted while trying to make their latest arrest, had only recently started to knit together and the young detective had been discharged only that morning into Mike's care. Mike had taken him home to De Haro Street and had insisted he rest and watch television while Mike made them both some lunch. After an easy lunch of sandwiches and coffee eaten from their seats on Mike's couch, Mike had noticed Steve starting to get very uncomfortable. As was always the way with his young partner, he never let on that the pain was returning but suffered in silence. This time Mike noticed the initial signs. The squirming, the way he had gone decidedly quiet, the pinched facial features and the hand that seemed to be constantly resting over the wounded shoulder. So he had gone to the kitchen to fetch his partner's pain meds and now came the arduous task of getting him to take them.

"Here take these." he instructed.

Steve looked up and saw both of Mike's hands held out towards him. In one was a tall glass of water and on the palm of the other was two rather large chalky looking pills. Steve's face fell and he looked up at Mike with a look of horror on his face. Inclining his head in disbelief he half smiled and spoke.

"Oh man! You've got to be kidding me Mike."

Mike looked confused at first.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Well ... look at them Mike. They're huge! I can't swallow those." Steve exclaimed in horror.

Realizing what was bugging the young man he shook his head impatiently.

"Oh now. Don't be so childish! Will you just take them and swallow them ... Please?"

But again Steve protested wildly.

"NO! ... I ... can't.

Mike could feel himself losing patience.

"Would you rather I get my Doctor over here to give you an injection instead?" he barked, knowing full well that Steve's hatred of needles was far worse than his fear of swallowing pills.

"Oh that's low Mike. That's really low ... even for you." Steve spat back as the pain flared in his shoulder and his face contorted in momentary discomfort.

Mike could see that his ill timed remark had hit home painfully and he regretted having said it. Feeling sorry and bad for the young man who had been through more than his fair share of misery in the last few days, Mike took a deep breath and tried to remain calm.

"Ok, ok Steve. Look I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that but just listen to me, will you? You don't have a choice buddy boy. Now as usual you haven't said anything but you don't have to. I can tell that your shoulder is starting to hurt you because it's written all over your face. Now within another hour that shoulder is going to get worse and you do remember how sore it was back in the hospital, don't you?"

Steve never answered but instead sighed and looked away, but Mike could tell by his reaction that he remembered only too well how agonizing the pain was in the hospital before they medicated him and knew that he had no desire to experience that severe pain again unmedicated anytime soon so he tried to reason with the young man again.

"Steve. The Doctor says you're going to have that bad pain for at least the next five to seven days and the only way to keep it at bay is by taking these pills before the pain gets that bad. Now you understand that don't you?"

Steve nodded his head solemnly.

"Good. Now ... I know they're quite large pills but you just have to get used to taking them. All you've got to do is make sure when you put them in your mouth that you get them to the back of your tongue as quickly as you can and then take a large drink of water and swallow. That's all there is to it."

Mike looked at Steve hopefully, praying that his rallying speech had worked. Steve looked up at the older man sheepishly and Mike could see that he was considering what Mike had just said.

"It's that easy huh?" Steve asked bolstering Mike's hope of success.

"That's right. Easy as pie." Mike exclaimed encouragingly but then came the defiant sentence from Steve that crashed Mike's hopes back to the floor.

"Well if it's that easy ... You take 'em!"

Mike's hackles rose and for a split second he lost it.

"NOW LISTEN BUDDY BOY. STOP BEHAVING LIKE A CHILD! ... "

Steve recoiled slightly at Mike's loud voice and looked down, suitably admonished and embarrassed. Mike stopped and seeing Steve's downhearted reaction he felt bad and guilty all at the same time.

He remembered how his late wife Helen had in the later stages of her illness been prescribed large pills just like Steve's and how she had despised taking them too. All the endless arguments he had with Helen about her having to take the pills, just like the one he was having now with Steve, came back to him in technicolour in his mind and he almost heard her voice whispering to him to go easy on the boy. He could hear her weak and raspy voice telling him how chalky and hard they were to take and to have sympathy for the boy. So putting the pills down on the coffee table along with the glass of water he sat down on the couch beside Steve and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. He could see from the corner of his eye that Steve was nervously and casually watching him for his next reaction and so he took a deep breath and looked Steve squarely in the eye and purposely lowered his voice.

"I'm sorry Steve. I shouldn't have shouted." he said very sincerely and he watched for Steve's response.

Steve seemed to blush and dry swallow and he spoke very shakily and sadly.

"You don't have to be sorry Mike ... I'm the one that should be sorry. You're right, it is childish. I just ... I just ..." Steve was struggling to finish his sentence so Mike turned and placed a hand on Steve's good shoulder and spoke for him.

"I know ... It's ok. You don't have to explain."

"I ... I don't ?" Steve stammered looking at Mike curiously.

"No ... I understand. Your throat is dry and you're afraid they'll stick in your neck or you'll choke on them. Am I right?"

Steve looked at Mike amazed that he actually did know what was bothering him and merely nodded, feeling even more mortified at his pathetic insecurity. Mike smiled.

"You're wondering how I knew that aren't you? "

"Kinda ... yeah. " Steve said feeling his emotions starting to overwhelm him.

"Ok ... well I'll tell you but before I do, it's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. We all have worries and things that make us feel uncomfortable. The reason I knew is ... well ... Helen felt exactly the same."

Steve looked at Mike and felt tears threatening at the mention of Mike's late wife. He almost held his breath as he waited for Mike to continue.

"She hated taking the large pills too ... as a matter of fact ... I kind of remember having similiar battles with her about taking them too."

Steve had to swallow down the emotion from his throat in order to speak, feeling even worse now about reminding the older man of what were obviously unpleasant memories. Feeling his ability to speak failing him he stuttered.

"Did ... she ... take them?"

"She had to Steve. In the last few months, she was in a terrible lot of pain. As the pain got worse the pills got bigger too in order to deal with the intense pain she was in. She was like you at first but eventually she knew if she didn't take them she'd suffer so she took them. It wasn't easy for her at first I can tell you. She scared me a few times too. The first time she took one she almost gagged on it. Scared me half to death. But she got used to taking them and after a while they didn't bother her anymore. Of course later on, when she couldn't swallow them anymore they gave them by injection. I shouldn't have been so hard on you. Sorry, buddy boy."

Steve had tears visible in his eyes as he heard Mike tell him about Helen's aversion to the pills aswell and how she had overcome her fear despite the agony she had to endure and somehow felt even more childish than he had before. With a renewed courage that came to him from somewhere unknown, he surprised Mike as he suddenly reached out and grabbed the two pills off the table and looked at Mike nervously.

"I can swallow them. Right?" he asked almost pleading for encouragement from his partner and best friend.

"Yes, you can. Just remember to put them at the back of your tongue and take them with plenty of water."

"Ok. Here goes." Steve said his voice and his hand shaking simultaneously.

Throwing the pill in his mouth, he took up the glass of water and tilting his head back he took a big drink and seemed to struggle for a few minutes before swallowing hard. To Mike's added horror Steve seemed to gag just like Helen did as the large pill went down his throat but to his credit, despite the fact that having swallowed the pill the first time, it and the water came back up his neck as he gagged, he managed to swallow it back down a second time and thankfully the second time it stayed down. Shaking his head in horror at the torture of that experience, the young man was shaking like a leaf and felt like tearing up again as he realized that he still had one more left to swallow.

Mike who had felt utterly helpless as he watched Steve take the pill just as he had all those years ago with Helen, squeezed Steve's shoulder and spoke encouragingly.

"Well done buddy boy! That's one down. Only one to go. You can do it. Just try to get it further towards the back of your tongue this time. It really does make it easier to swallow. "

Mike's words bolstered his courage once more and he threw the second one into his mouth and repeated the same steps as the last time. As the second tablet went down Steve tensed up and shut his eyes tight, waiting for his gag reflex to kick in again but this time it didn't. As he swallowed, the pill went down and stayed. Steve audibly sighed with relief and felt his smile return. Mike looked proudly at his partner and exclaimed excitedly.

"See, I told you didn't I? I knew you could do it. Now why don't you lie down and rest and let them kick in and start easing that pain of yours, huh?"

"Ok ..." Steve said not quite believing how much the stress of taking two pills could drain a person's energy so much.

Mike stood up and Steve lay down while Mike fixed a cushion under his head and pulled a blanket up over him. Steve closed his eyes so relieved that the ordeal was over until Mike's parting sentence as he headed for the kitchen with the lunch dishes, made him groan out loud.

"At least it will be eight hours before you have to take them again."

"AW MIKE! ... Did you have to remind me?"

The End