Disclaimer: Sad face kittens, everyone. I do not own Durarara!

The Drive for Obsession

Chapter One: The "What If" Scenario

I hate you, Shizu-chan.

I despise every fiber of your being. I loathe every last protozoan cell that comprises your brutish body. You are a constant source of agitation, and sometimes, I think my life would be better if I had never met you. Once in a while, I let myself indulge in the so-called "what if" scenario and I wonder: What would my life be like if you and I had never met? What if I hadn't insisted that our good friend, Shinra, introduce us? What else could I have done with the countless hours I spent thinking of, and constructing ways to torture you, to sabotage you in your everyday life endeavors, to make you suffer?

After only a few minutes, I find that I'm laughing hysterically at myself. How absurd of me to even to consider the idea that my time could have been better spent doing anything else. I can't help but smile at the fond memories. Yes, we certainly have had many good times together, haven't we? In whichever way I consider it, I have always come back to the conclusion you have never been a waste of my time. Although you don't realize it, I've used you to serve various purposes of mine for years. I tricked you into "taking care" of certain people who got in my way, and all the while, I watched, enjoying my own, personal source of entertainment.

You drive me insane. Fortunately for you, causing you trouble doesn't pay my rent or suit my way of living. Yes, not everything is about you. I have the self-control to say when enough is enough. I can cut myself off from you in order to do my job, but just like a drug addict, I'm back out on the streets of Ikebukuro, searching for you, and wondering about what fun we'll have.

That's another thing I hate about you. You are always making me wonder. With you, I'm consistently second guessing myself and almost every prediction I try to make is inaccurate. Know this, I hate being wrong. Someone like me should be flawless, absolutely perfect in every way, and the fact that you are the one thing that stands between me and my total perfection burns me.

You see now, how you've put me in a rather paradoxical situation, don't you? I completely and utterly detest your existence, but yet, somehow, I don't think I could go without you. Even though you keep me from my perfection, and I'm always guessing, you simply fascinate me. There are many, many things I can say about you, one of them being, there has never been a dull moment in my life since I met you. Your unpredictability infuriates me, but at the same I love it; I obsess over it. With you, everything is always new. I do admit, we do have a sort of routine with our cat and mouse chases across the city, somehow you always bring something new to the table. Sometimes you take the bait I set for you, sometimes you don't but your simple brain somehow concocts some seemingly weak-minded strategy that somehow always manages to throw me off guard. Anyone who has studied something for as long as I have studied you should be an expert on the matter. Obviously, I am no expert on you. Sure, I know all of you likes and dislikes, I know what you do for a living, I know what you do in your free time, I know that you have an outrageously large sweet tooth and a rather disgusting smoking habit. For anyone else, that may be suitable, but for me. Although I love the knowledge I have on you, it is unsatisfactory, it's not enough. It's never enough! One minute I think I've got you figured out, the next, you do something totally unexpected. I can't explain it, I wish I could, I want to, I want to figure you out more than anything else.

My desire to figure you out gets me thinking of another "what if" scenario. What if I actually did figure you out? What if you were no longer unpredictable to me, what if you never surprised me again? I wonder if I would grow bored of you, I wonder if I'd leave you, and you'd never hear nor see me again.

Ha! Once again, I find myself in absolute fit of laughter. As if I would ever leave you be. That's exactly what you would want. If you thought for a second that there was a way for me to grow bored our little games and leave, you'd do it in a heartbeat. Too bad, Shizu-chan. You're stuck with me.

When we're together, you put on a little show for everyone. You wear an insanely feral grin as you rip the nearest lamp post from the ground or lift up the first vending machine you see and hurl it at me without abandon. You act like you enjoy our little fights, but I see something that no one else does, your pain. Shinra once told me that you hate violence. I believe him. I believe that you despise your special gift; I believe you try to hide it from the world. I know you don't have the sense to accomplish that objective, not while I'm around at least. While I'm around to make you suffer, you will always be inherently violent, and you will always fight and continue to live through your own self-inflicted torture and loathing, unless of course, you complied with my one wish.

I offered you that option once, didn't I? I don't think you know that my threats on your life are completely empty. Truthfully, I don't want you dead at all, far from it actually.

I almost had you once. You remember that night, don't you? We were still in high school. You were even more clueless and naïve than you are now, and I, well I overestimated you. Once again, I was unable to predict your next move, and you threw me off guard. I'd never tell anyone, especially not you, but I suppose my actions, or my way of handling that incredibly delicate situation back then was, rushed, insensitive, clumsy, and stupid even. I lost you then. The events of that night renewed your senses of hatred and distrust towards me, and you became even more aggressive towards me. In return, I made your life a living hell. Because of me, you could never hold down a job, the entire city coward in fear at the mere mention of your name, and you were even arrested.

It didn't have to be that way. I wonder if you even realize that. Things could have been so much different for you, for me, for us. Honestly, they still could be. Things could be so simple. I told you once, and for a mere second, I think you actually agreed with me.

You know what you need to do. I know that you were scared back then, I'm sure the possibility still frightens you. And I can understand why. You don't understand exactly what it is that I want. Your well-deserved distrust of me only elevates those fears, but that's alright. Your desperation to be free of the violence that consumes your being will eventually win out, and you will come back to me. Now, what is it that I want? There are several ways of which I could explain it, but for your sake, I'll make this easy. Simply put, Shizu-chan, I want you to just give up. Give up, and be mine.

A/N: Thank you for reading the first chapter of my new story. I hope you enjoyed reading this. Please review and let me know what you think so far!

Chapter Two: Breaking Point

This chapter is about Shizuo and his feelings towards Izaya and their checkered past. Here we will find out more about the time in high school that Izaya briefly mentioned. Does this sound interesting? Let me know! I welcome all constructive criticisms and suggestions. Thank you so much!