Thank you for the beta SWWoman. You're the greatest. And, thank you for the prompt crypticnotions.
The Characters below do not belong to me.
Joss sat looking at the screen of the laptop for a few moments. The glow emanating from it was the only light in the room since she had turned off the TV when she heard John's breathing finally become slow and steady. She looked down at him again and a small smile formed on her face. She so loved this man and to share a bed, a home, a life together was something she could not even imagine. They had been through so much; but here they were. Together. Finally. He had drifted off to sleep after being awake for 36 hours straight working on a number and he had dragged himself into their apartment exhausted and hungry. Joss had dinner waiting for him and he had showered and ate like a man eating his final meal. Joss loved watching him eat. John loved her cooking but more than that, he loved to come home to someone, but not just anyone. His gift. His love. Jocelyn Carter. The woman he thought he could never have. The woman he always believed was too good for him. The fact that she could cook was just an added bonus.
Joss broke her gaze and looked back down at the laptop screen and sighed. She hesitated making this purchase but she knew John would love it. He said he would love it but she continued with her protests. They had had conversations about her buying it since he had seen the photo of it a couple of months ago. The last time he brought it up to her was last week when their conversation had become a bit heated. She felt as though John was pushing her into doing something she wasn't comfortable doing.
A Week Ago
"John, I don't think I'd look good in this," she finally admitted.
"Joss, you'd look beautiful in this," he replied looking at the photo in the lingerie catalog. "Why would you say you don't think you'd look good in this?" he pushed.
Joss pursed her lips and moved her eyes away from the page. "I just don't think I would, John. I don't think I could pull it off," she said shortly. "I mean, look at her, she's perfect," she said as she pointed to the flawless model.
"You've heard of airbrushing Joss," John stated calmly.
Joss's jaw tensed and her eyebrows furrowed as moisture formed in her eyes. It didn't help that she was wearing a pair of blue, green and white plaid cotton pajama bottoms and one of John's white t-shirts. That only made her feel frumpy as they looked at the beautiful model in the skimpy outfit on the glossy page before them.
"Well, I can't be airbrushed John!" she said tersely as she rose out of the bed.
Shit.
John cursed himself lowering his eyes as he shook his head. He was not trying to be insensitive to his wife. He sincerely thought Joss was the most gorgeous woman walking the planet. But her statement hit him hard. As much as he told her that he loved every inch of her body she was still insecure about the scars she had accumulated over the years; the thirteen stitches right above her pubic bone where she gave birth to her beloved son Taylor and the snowflake shaped scar on the right side of her abdomen where she was injured in Fallujah. Now she had another, more recent scar between her breasts where she took a bullet for him from Simmons. For that he would always feel some guilt, but that only made him love her all the more. She damn near died for him. So that scar meant something even more special to him. That scar was a symbol of her love for him whereas the others showed her love for her son and her love for her country.
John slowly got out of bed, allowing Joss some room and followed her into the kitchen where she stood leaning against the island. She had gotten herself a glass of water to calm herself. John reached her and hugged her from behind. She took another sip of water as she silently cursed herself for being so damn sensitive.
"I'm sorry Baby," John said quietly as he kissed the top of her head. "I didn't mean to push," he whispered softly in her ear. "It's just that to me the scars only enhance, they don't take away from your beauty at all," he said sincerely.
"I love you."
Joss turned in his arms, gently kissed his lips and rested her head on his chest not saying a word as they held onto each other.
Finally she spoke up as she rubbed his arms and pulled away from his chest.
"I'm sorry too Honey," she said softly. "I shouldn't be so damn sensitive," she admitted.
She leaned in taking in his scent and kissing his chest through his t-shirt. John smiled and kissed the top of her head again. He so loved his woman.
"Let's go back to bed," he said leading her by the hand.
Send.
There. She'd done it. Joss placed the order and there was no way she would not wear it for him once it arrived for Christmas. She didn't believe in wasting anything, let alone a hard earned dollar. She closed her eyes and let go of the breath she didn't even realize she was holding.
It wasn't that Joss was out of shape. Since the shooting she had been in physical therapy and strength training. She currently was in the best physical shape she had been in a long while. Her muscles were strong and toned. Joss's stomach was taut and her calves and butt were tight and shapely. It was those damn scars that she chose to cover whenever she went to the beach. She wore a one piece to cover up whenever she was on vacation and had the opportunity to go to the pool. John had told her time and time again that he thought they were beautiful. The scars helped make her who she was. They told the story of the loving person that she is. She heard him but it was still difficult for her to believe him.
Get over it Joss. This is for him, she thought to herself.
A week later, on Christmas Eve, the package arrived in a not so discreet fuchsia wrapper with red lips plastered over the package with the return name and address on it, . She was glad she beat John home so she could hide it before he could see the gaudy packaging. She wasn't as glad that it arrived on time for the holiday. Joss figured it would have been there sooner and was beginning to feel relieved that it hadn't arrived. She found herself still wavering even though she had convinced herself earlier that she would do this for him. She took it to the master bathroom after removing her coat and gloves and then sat on the toilet lid looking at it after placing it on the counter near the sink. She bit her bottom lip, finally picked it up and proceeded to unwrap it. She threw away the wrapping in the waste basket and laid the piece back on the counter. She breathed deeply and began removing her clothes.
Joss decided to shower before putting it on. She put on John's favorite perfume and sesame oil which made her skin feel soft as it glistened in the light. She picked up the red piece of fabric and put it on. It was a made of a deep red satin fabric, thick straps that went over her shoulders that met in the center forming a bra that cupped her full breasts and formed a beautiful bow. A thick strip of fabric fell from the center of the bow and went between her legs. The piece thinned to form a G-string that exposed her shapely bottom and formed a V in the back of the lingerie which met with a line that crossed midway across her back. Joss curled her hair and when finished they fell gently and caressed her shoulders. To finish off the look, she went to the closet and pulled out a black pair of 5 inch strappy black high heels. Her toe nail polish was a deep blood red that complimented the bronze of her skin. She walked back to the full length mirror in their bedroom and took a couple of deep breaths as she fought her insecurities so that she wouldn't pick herself apart.
This is for my Love.
Joss tried forcing herself to look past her scars but simply couldn't. John had sent her a text that he was on his way home after making a stop at a nearby bodega to pick up a few treats. They were planning to begin their Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve with a bottle of champagne, a light fare of different cheeses, meats, strawberries and pastries. Joss sighed after receiving the text and wondered if she had time to take off the outfit. She walked over to the stereo plugging in her smart phone and turning on the Christmas play list she had created. Traditional carols streamed from the speakers as she listened to songs by the Temptations, Luther Vandross, The Whispers and even Boyz II Men. The light sounds of Kem were currently playing and his soothing voice seemed to calm her a bit. She moved over to the 8 foot tall, full Christmas tree that was flocked and beautifully decorated with white lights, red, green and gold ornaments hanging from the limbs. She placed her hands on her hips admiring the beauty of the tree as she stood in front of it. She couldn't help smiling, Christmas was her favorite holiday. It meant so much to her parents and she figured their ardor for the holiday had rubbed off on her. She was so lost in thought remembering her time with her family during Christmases past that she barely noticed John's key unlocking the front door. She swirled, hands still on her hips meeting her husband's gaze.
Joss noticed John's mouth open as he held a grocery bag in one hand and hurriedly closing and locking the door with the other. He stood there, back to the front door holding the bag in his arm wordlessly as he continued looking at his wife. The backdrop of the ceiling to floor windows with the darkness and flurries of snow peering in, the tree glittering behind her and the soft glow of the dimmed lights made Joss look almost angelic. Well as angelic as anyone could look dressed as a Christmas gift in only a bow and stilettos.
Oh. My. God.
At that very moment John wondered what good could he have done to deserve this. This vision.
"John," Joss said softly trying to snap him out of whatever trance he seemed to have fallen into.
"Merry Christmas," she said with a smile looking him directly in his deep blue eyes.
"Merry Christmas," he said absently as he continued to stare at his wife.
Joss was tickled because she had never seen John speechless like this.
John finally closed his mouth as he laid the bag on the table near the door and removed his gloves and over coat never removing his eyes from Joss. His underwear tightened around him as he felt himself becoming aroused.
He walked over to where she was standing in front of the Christmas tree.
His hands were still cold from being outside and he wanted nothing more than to touch her. Forcing himself to keep his hands off her was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do.
"Joss..." he said breathlessly. "Just when I thought you couldn't get any more beautiful…"
The apple of her cheeks rose as he forced himself not to touch her.
"My hands are still cold," he said sheepishly.
Joss thought he was adorable in that moment as his eyelashes fanned his cheeks.
John reached in and placed the softest of kisses on her lips. He reluctantly pulled back as she began deepening the kiss.
"I want to start this evening right," he said. "Give me seven minutes."
Joss looked at him quizzically as he smiled and stepped away from her.
"Seven minutes?"
"Yeah," he said as he hurriedly moved away from her, picked up the bag, strode over to the kitchen and pulled out the bottle of champagne. He opened a cabinet and pulled out three glass flutes and popped the cork of the bottle. He poured a glass for Joss and a second glass. John went over to the tree where she was still standing, now with a puzzled look on her face, and handed her a flute. He grabbed her hand and led her over to the sofa to sit.
"Sit here and by the time you're done with this glass I'll be back," he promised her. "I want to clean up a bit," he finally admitted.
The furrowed brow on Joss's face finally relaxed as he explained to her what he was doing. What she didn't know was what he was planning to do to her later on in the evening.
"Okay," she smiled into the glass, "but don't keep me waiting too long John," she reminded.
John released her hand and swallowed as he continued to stare down at her. Joss noticed the swallow and couldn't help but giggle.
John's long strides carried him out of sight and into their bedroom, removing his clothing quickly as he hopped into the shower. He was thinking about what just happened when he first walked in the door. John's mind worked quickly when he entered the apartment to see Joss standing, no posing, in front of the Christmas tree. He realized that he caught her off guard by the expression on her face when she turned to look at him. Her face seemed to soften when she noticed the look on his face. He truly was surprised and…humbled.
She did this for me. This beautiful woman did this for me.
John at that moment, upon laying eyes on her had no words. He was speechless. She continued to show him her love and that she would do anything for him. Over and over she surprised him in ways that expressed her love for him. He never would get it.
Why? Why me?
John snapped out his musings and he quickly lathered and rinsed. He toweled himself dry and put on a pair of navy and emerald satin pajamas that Joss had bought him a few months ago and he hadn't gotten around to wearing. He would wear them for her tonight. He buttoned one button at the bottom of the shirt leaving his chest partially exposed as he hurriedly made his way back out of the bedroom. Joss was finishing off her first glass of champagne. She decided to tease him.
"Um, perfect timing. I was just finishing my glass."
She smiled as she noticed John in the pajamas she had bought him. He looked so handsome, hell, so sexy, in them. John moved to take the flute from her hand to refill it. He smirked as he noticed her eyes scanning him from head to toe.
"Jocelyn, are you undressing me with your eyes," he teased back, pretending to close the top of his shirt.
"You caught me. I'm guilty," she confessed. Then she stated defiantly, "What are you going to do about it?"
Damn.
"Oh I have a little something in mind," John said as poured himself a glass and took a sip and poured another for Joss.
Joss's curiosity interrupted the moment when she asked John about the other glass of champagne he poured earlier and left on the counter top.
"That's for later. You'll see," he said with a smirk on his face.
Joss's curiosity was peaked but she decided not to press.
John pulled out the food he'd purchased and arranged it on a platter. He brought the platter over to her and laid it on the coffee table in front of the sofa along with the bottle of champagne. He went back to the kitchen and grabbed their glasses and handed hers to her as he took another sip from his flute and sat next to her on the sofa.
"You are so beautiful Joss," John whispered as he leaned in to nuzzle her ear. "My gift," he stated firmly as he looked her directly in the eyes. "My beautiful gift."
He reached out and lightly touched her cheek with his fingers; his eyes watering. "I'm so grateful to have you in my life, Joss."
Joss's eyes blinked as she saw the gamut of emotions playing on John's face. She covered his hand with her own, turned to kiss his palm.
"You're my gift John," she said. She shyly chuckled. "I figured the least I could do is sit here in a big red bow." Her eyes went down to her legs as she rubbed her thighs. "I hope you approve," she said raising her eyes to meet his once again.
"Oh, you know I approve," John purred and he took another sip of the champagne.
He watched as Joss took another sip from her glass and took it from her, placing their glasses down on the coffee table. John couldn't wait anymore. He needed her. The meal would have to wait.
He cupped Joss's face and kissed her gently and then deepened the kiss. Their tongues wrestled for position as her arms slowly wrapped around his shoulders. The kiss had become more passionate in a matter of moments and John found himself lying on top of Joss on the sofa. She felt his erection against her thigh as she unbuttoned the one button on his shirt. She pushed off the shirt and her nails dug into his back as he placed a hard kiss on her lips. Her legs surrounded him as he lay in between them. He stopped kissing her and Joss wondered what was wrong.
John picked Joss up off the couch and carried her to their bed.
"I love you so much Joss," John said as he gazed down at her.
He caressed her shoulders and slowly pulled down the thick straps that formed the bow. He continued pulling them down exposing her breasts. He bent down and kissed her neck, nipping and lightly biting. He moved his lips over her breasts and kissed and licked as Joss looked down at him. John suddenly stopped and got up from Joss and headed for the kitchen.
"Where are you going?" Joss called after him.
Her head hit the pillow in exasperation. He was killing her by stopping so suddenly.
John merely grabbed the flute filled with champagne that he had poured earlier and return with a smile on his face. It was now room temperature and he hovered over her as he had done before and kissed her neck once again. He rubbed her breasts caressing and pulling her erect nipples. He slowly poured some of the champagne over her breasts and the scar. Joss gasped at the sensation, the tingle of the bubbles, the feel of his hand on her; fondling and squeezing. Her nipples tightened more as he continued and John bent down and licked and sucked at the liquid on her breasts. He spent extra time slowly licking and kissing the scar in between. Joss could hardly breathe and her eyes widened at his gentle ministrations.
John wanted to make sure she understood how he felt about her, how he felt about her sacrifice for him; how precious that scar was to him. Joss's back arched under his touch. Her eyes were hooded but John wasn't finished. He placed the flute down briefly to finish removing the bow from her. He pulled it off and stared at her. The only thing she was wearing at this point were the diamond earrings, and her wedding band. And the stilettos. Those damn stilettos that enhanced the shape of her legs and butt. He couldn't wait to feel her legs wrapped around him as those heels dug into his back as he ground himself deeply inside her.
Soon. Very soon.
John was clearly flushed and the imprint of his erection pressing through the thin fabric of his pants was more than noticeable but he wasn't finished making his wife feel like the queen he knew she was. He moved himself between her legs once more and picking up the glass he proceeded to pour more of the amber liquid over the scar she had received after that poor soldier walking in front of her stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan. Again, John licked and kissed the scar, lightly blowing on it, gently grazing it with his teeth. Joss was swearing under her breath, writhing underneath the heaviness of him. But John was not finished with her yet. John moved back and forth from her navel to the scar on her side and finally moved down to the stitches she received after giving birth to her son.
"John!" she pleaded as her skin became damp and she twined her fingers in his hair.
John briefly looked up at her and bowed his head back down as he continued licking, nipping and scraping his teeth gently against her flesh. Joss could hardly contain herself as John continued to move lower and licked the little bundle of nerves between her legs. Joss bucked at the sensation as John opened her legs wider licking her folds and opening. Over and over. Licking, blowing, kissing, fingering her.
Joss could only moan at this point as she bit her bottom lip, eyebrows furrowed, eyes hooded and her lashes fluttered. John was trying to kill her. She was sure of it. But this felt so good. She felt her orgasm building and soon she found her back arching, head pressed into the pillow, yelling as she rode out her climax.
"Oh God, oh God," was all she could manage as her body shook and legs trembled beneath him.
John, gently pulled her up into his arms, looking her directly in the eyes as her breathing began to slow and the trembling subsided. He wiped the perspiration from her brow and wrapped his arms around her, holding her closely. She couldn't have felt more loved than at that very moment. He slowly rocked her and stroked her head.
"I love you for loving me so much Baby," he whispered in her ear.
"John, I love you so much. I have never loved someone so much," Joss admitted.
John searched her eyes after that admission and once again his began to water. He gently kissed her lips.
Joss licked his lips and a devilish look appeared in her eyes. Her finger nails grazed his chest and down to his stomach. She pulled at his waistband reaching down his pants rubbing his erection. He grew in her hands quickly and she pulled his pants down. She licked his tip and ran her tongue on the underside of his shaft. John fell backward as she continued massaging, sucking and licking him. It was his turn to feel as though he was slowly dying.
"Oh Joss," John said raggedly.
He was slick in her mouth as she played with him, looking up at him as he peered down at her. She continued in her devilish torture as John rose up from the mattress pushing himself further into her mouth. His hand gripped her hair as he finally climaxed; his seed flowed from the tip, onto her lips, his thigh and the sheets beneath them. John's breathing was heavy as his eyes focused on his wife. Joss lay beside him and wrapped her arm around his chest smiling down at him.
He smiled up at her as he caressed her arm.
"I'm glad you let me unwrap my gift a day early Joss," he said.
"Hmm, you're welcome," she responded as she circled his nipple with her fingertip.
"Are you planning on feeding your 'gift' any time soon?" she asked teasingly.
John inhaled deeply as he reluctantly rose up and from her arms. He thoughtfully took the stilettos off her feet and playfully nipped at her toes. He walked over to the coffee table and grabbed the champagne bottle and the platter with the food and carried it over to the bed where Joss was now leaning with her back against the full pillows. John sat directly in front of her, his legs stretched out in front of him as she laid her legs on top of his.
He fed her a strawberry dipped in fresh cream and she followed suit with him. They took turns feeding each other the cheese, crackers, meat and fruit.
"I need to get you fed," John said softly.
"You're gonna need your energy for the rest of the evening."
"Oh," Joss replied as she raised an eyebrow, a smirk growing on her lips.
"I plan on ravishing you for the rest of the night."
"Is that a promise?"
"I can't help it. I love the gift you gave me."
Joss dipped her index finger in the cream and raised it up putting it in John's mouth. John licked it from her finger.
"Hmm, John, I'll gladly be the gift that keeps on giving," as she kissed him on the lips.
This was going to be a sweet night for the both of them.