My name is Bey Liff, your run-of-the-mill guy. I work a pretty average job as a bailiff. However, despite the tiresome and mundane days I have experienced this year, one particular one stood out. I can still recall the roaring sounds of thousands of people mixed with the greasy smell of grilled Samurai Dogs.
November 10, 1:09 PM
People Park
Fair Grounds
Withered leaves floated to the ground as the dry, cold wind bit my face. I huddled into my scarf a bit more. Today is the Officer's Festival, held every year by precinct, although it's a wonder how they manage to scrap together the funds for it each time.
I started to walk towards a Samurai Dog stand to leech off the heat from their grills when a squeaky voiced piped in my ear, "Unckie Liff! Unckie Liff! I wanna eat a Samawai Dog and then I wanna wide the Jailbweaka and then I wanna-" It was coming from the little girl sitting on my shoulders, Ava Ridge, although I usually just call her Avy. My sister had asked me to take care of her since she was going to be out of town this week.
"Alright, alright, Avy! I'll buy you a Samurai Dog, and then we can-" I paused. Something had caught my eye. I blinked. It can't be true. Why is he here? Why of all people can he be here? Sitting in a chair a little ways away was a convict who was under my responsibility until just a few weeks ago, Obe Eaton.
I was stood there, shocked, until my memory flashed. One of the recent banners advertising the fair had read, "NEW ATTRACTION! CAPTIVE CHAT! Talk with REAL convicts about their lives, thoughts, and more! Only at the Officers Festival!" It's a wonder how they managed to get this idea past the higher-ups.
"What's wong, Unckie Liff?" It seemed I had blanked out for a bit too long.
"Sorry Avy. Now let's get some Samurai Dogs!"
And so we gobbled down a few Samurai Dogs, rode the Jailbreaker till we were sick and about to let our Samurai Dogs go to waste, and watched a theatrical mock trial.
November 10, 5:33 PM
People Park
Fair Grounds
"That was so cool!" Avy happily commented as we left the theater, "They were yelling things like, 'HOLD IT!' and 'Obje…Objeku…Objetshi-'"
"Objection," I corrected her. It was getting late, and the sky was already a blue-orange haze. As I started towards the exit, a scream pierced my ears.
"HELP! SOMEONE…SOMEONE'S BEEN MURDERED!"
I turned. There on the ground lied a man, face down, stained with blood. In a flash, mobs of people crowded the scene of the crime, and eventually, the cries of sorrow turned to rage as people shouted, "It's HIS fault!" and "They shouldn't have let HIM out! Look what he's done!" I followed the direction of finger pointing and found myself looking at a bloody Obe Eaton.
Obe Eaton? A killer? Sure he was imprisoned for insider trading, but murder? It's not like him. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a woman desperately trying to pull back her dog as it tried to lunge at Eaton's hands as if it was trying to lick them. "Lick them?" I pondered, "Why that's it!"
"Everybody calm down!" I shouted, but people were still yelling and screaming wildly. "Guys! It's not him! Someone! Listen!" It wasn't working. I needed a different approach. Although I didn't think I would ever do this, I had no choice. I took the deepest breath I could possibly take, and then I let all the air out of my lungs yelling,
"OBJECTION!"
Everyone froze. The park was silent.
I turned towards Obe Eaton, "Mr. Eaton, if I may ask, what was your reason for leaving your chat cell?"
Eaton stared up a bit and gruffly responded, "Well, being a prisoner for 5 years really takes a toll on your appetite, and the moment I smelled those Samurai Dogs, my stomach started jumping up and down, all happily. I couldn't resist, so I asked a guard if I could leave just for a bit to buy a Samurai Dog, and he okayed it. I immediately ran down and bought one with extra ketchup. It was delicious!"
"So?! What's this gotta do with the murder?!" someone blurted out as Obe Eaton finished, "Yeah! The inmate's guilty!"
"Not so fast!" The chatter ceased.
"Did you not hear Mr. Eaton's testimony? He was eating a Samurai Dog with extra ketchup. Obe Eaton's hands aren't stained with blood! They're stained with ketchup!"
Instantly, there was the sound of a snapping leash and a bark. It seemed the dog from before had escaped and started licking Eaton's hands. "See I think this is proof enough," I gestured.
"Hmph!"
I turned to find the source of the obnoxious sound. It was none other Legendary Demon Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth. "So," he said smugly, "you're the one who's been emulating me." Then, he turned and walked towards a scruffy detective that arrived with him to examine the crime scene.
November 10, 9:45 PM
Downtown San Francisco
Roman Street
Turns out the murder was really just a man who had rode the Jailbreaker one time too many and collapsed unconscious into the Special Blood Punch bowl. Despite this, everybody in the park was kept until 9:00 PM, and by that time we had already missed the last bus and had to walk home.
"Unckie Liff! You were so cool! Like a supaheewo! Except until that bad man came…" It seemed Avy was still mad at Prosecutor Edgeworth.
"Don't say that. Without people like Mr. Edgeworth, there would be no order in this world." I replied.
"Waah?" Avy seemed confused.
"Well," I reasoned, "the law is like this lamp." I pointed at the streetlamp next to us. "And when the world tries to hide reality in the darkness, the law shines its light and reveals the truth about the world." Avy blinked looking even more confused. I continued, "And, "Mr. Edgeworth, the scruffy detective, me, everyone is like the base of the lamp. Without us, the law would disappear and justice could not be brought upon the world."
I glanced at Avy. She stared blankly back at me. Maybe she was too young to understand this yet. Suddenly, Avy's face brightened, and she smiled and nodded, "I get it, Unckie Liff!"
Startled, I responded, "Uh…Good, Avy, yeah, that's the spirit!"
And together we walked onwards guided by the shining light of the law.