Author's note: People over at the MIOBI board at ABC Family's website are retarded. I don't mean that offensively, but, like, everyone is hating on Lauren and gushing over Austin/Kaylie and in my opinion, eww. If she loses her virginity to him I will puke. These people are why this show is the way it is. That's who the creators and writers are looking at as they work on the storylines and shit! It kills me to see characters with such potential misused and mediocre.

If it didn't require me to make an account (I'm a bitch, but not that much of a bitch) I totally would have stirred up a storm over there and boasted about how all the real fucking talent and the real fucking fans are here on this site. if you couldn't tell, I'm in a shit mood with champagne eyes. I can't sleep. I'm anxious. I love all the writers here. Everyone here supports Never Gonna Frickin' Happen Couples (i.e. Paystin, Kaylicky, Payson/Sasha) and keep the dreaming alive, my friends!

Barefoot

I warned myself against boys like him.

Austin Tucker.

Tall.

Dark.

Handsome.

Bad.

I warned myself against boys in general.

Ike Benzinger.

Trouble.

Nicky Russo.

Ran away.

And I learned that age doesn't change them much.

Sasha.

Shoved me away.

Literally.

Sometimes I ask myself why.

Why was I born in these shoes?

The shoes of a messed up kid.

All this time I thought they were golden shoes.

I wore them proud.

Confident.

Strong.

Prevalent.

A winner.

Now they're just scuffed.

Scuffed by people.

Scuffed by boys.

Scuffed by life.

I ruined everything.

Everything.

With a single kiss.

And I ruined it with another.

"It isn't right. Kaylie and I are kinda…almost together."

"I know."

But that didn't stop anything.

"She's one of your best friends."

"She is."

I was lost and hopeless.

He found me and made me whole.

It felt nice.

So fucking nice.

For someone other than my mom,

To not run away. To not push me away.

"Kaylie needs me. She needs us."

"She does."

But words mean nothing with him and me.

It's all about the looks.

The glances.

The stares.

I've never looked at a boy like I look at him.

(Like he's made of gold)

And he's never seen a girl the way he sees me.

(Something unattainable, intrigued to the point of obsession)

Kaylie doesn't need a relationship.

She says it herself.

So he gives her space.

And so he ends up pressed close to me.

My mom doesn't approve.

She knew about Sasha and so she knows about Austin.

She thinks I'm just another girl.

Just another girl in Austin Tucker's trap.

But I know that's not true.

Because when I'm with Austin, I feel like a winner.

I feel like I've won.

And if having this, while having nothing, is misfortunate,

Leave me be with my misfortune.

Austin gave me something.

He made me feel.

That was my real dream.

For someone to awaken my heart thought to be dormant.

I wouldn't give it up for the world.

I love you, Mama, but from here I'm going barefoot.

XOXO I think my a/n is longer than the actual story.