Grow Up
Fumi walked under the trees' shadow, enjoying the calm the autumn soft breeze gave her. But the beauty of the moment didn't last long; the chat of the girls walking in front of her took to her ears quite shocking news.
—Have you heard about Sugimoto-sempai? It's said she's going into exchange.
—Yes, I heard she's going to London, when the school year ends.
The breeze stopped, the slow swaying of the trees ceased and the dance of the falling leafs became silent. Yasuko was leaving; the pain that suddenly appeared in her chest proved her, with every dull heartbeat brimmed with memories, that she couldn't keep her own promise of leaving her behind.
But what was she expecting? Yasuko looking for her to say goodbye? She herself had left the message clear, "I don't want to see you again". She wasn't coming. Fumi unexpectedly ran, disturbed by the ideas on her head, she wanted to be in her room, forget what she just hear, forget about her, or at least just try to do so.
The following days pass by, ephemeral, like if they were in a bitter rush. None of those days Fumi was able to see her. Her beloved friend A-chan did her best to comfort her, but she was at all-time distant, locked in her own mind full of images, books in metal shelves, tears falling over a blue bouquet, a candle extinguishing in the middle of a cave.
Few days before the school was over, she found a letter inside her locker, her hands began to tremble with the rhythm of her shivery heart when she recognized her ex-girlfriend handwriting; Fumi raised her eyes, turning anxiously her head in every single direction, looking for her, maybe she was hiding trying to see her reaction, but only the gazes of unknown girls return hers. The pressure in her chest was unbearable; she had to get away from that place. She looked for a more private spot where to read the message held between her hands. She wanted to know what that girl who gave her so many hopes, and then took them violently away had to say.
She found the suitable place in a lonely school area, hidden between to large trees protecting her from unwished glances. Her fingers hesitated a bit before slowly open the letter.
Dear Fumi:
Knowing the girls at our school, you've probably heard already about my travel to England, I wrote this letter as a goodbye, even when you told me to stay away from you, I couldn't kept myself from at least writing this:
"I'm sorry"
I don't know if you heard me that time in the cave, but I say it again "I'm sorry"; I really regret not being the girlfriend you would had expected, I'm sorry I wasn't that special person you needed, and I felt even more sorry because I didn't realize I could have been all of those things but I didn't want to see it.
You know my story, perhaps just a part of it, for a long time, someone was the owner of my heart, someone who I wasn't allowed to love and didn't love me in return. Foolishly I ignored all the signs the world was giving me and threw myself into the sky with only a pair of wax wings. Obviously I fell. It was painful; maybe you'd understand that everyone does something crazy for love. Do you Fumi?
After that, I believed I'd never fly again, but you proved me wrong, I met you and against every prognostic, you healed me, with that sweet, delicate personality of yours, I remember your lovely face and your beautiful heart always opened widely to hold me within you.
But even with all that love around me, even when I taste the sweet nectar of your soul, the poison of my past refuse to abandon my body, I hurt you, I'm aware of that, It's just like you told me that day, my selfishness harmed you; I rejected the heavenly gates opened before me, I couldn't stand the beauty, the pureness, I rejected all, so used I was to my own darkness.
It took me quite a time to finally close that chapter in my life, but I did it, then I realized what I had lost, you, I tried to get you back but it was useless, such marvelous opportunities don't came to often and my time had passed.
I have no hard feelings for what you told me, it will be stupid if I do, I thank every word you told me even if they were harsh, because they were also sincere, necessary to help me realize, I'm not the only person in this world capable of feeling love and sorrow. I will not be selfish anymore.
You know, just now I realize. . . I Love You, forgive me if the declaration gets you in a difficult position, I know it may even bother you, but if I left Japan without opening my heart to you, like you once did, would be unforgivable, sadly is only at the last moment, when I fully understand how much I loved you, how much after all I really love you.
Tomorrow I'll leave, and every day I'll remember your advice, I will grow up.
Yasuko Sugimoto.
Tears slowly made their way over her cheeks, a little army of suicide tears looking to end their lives in the edge of her chin. Some of them end in the grass beneath her feet, some others over the letter. Fumi stood still for a long time, leaning back in the tree.
That night Fumi didn't sleep at all, her pillow was covered with tears. She listened her mother calling from the kitchen, her voice sounded far way, like in a dream, the idea of breakfast seemed so odd right now. She started her way down the stairs; every step was slow and mechanical. At the middle of her way she stopped abruptly, and hesitated for an instant before running back to her room. Not being fully aware about how, she got herself dressed and ready, in less than five minutes she was outside her house getting into a cab, almost yelling at the diver to take her to the airport as soon as possible. While the buildings of the city ran beside her, she remembered every word of that letter, every moment she spent with her sempai.
Soon she was in the airport, paid to the taxi driver, and start flying all over the place questioning everyone for the London flight. Exhausted and breathless she began to lose the hopes but her eyes finally stared upon a beautiful girl whit short hair.
—Fumi what are you doing here? —Yasuko exclaimed.
—I. . . I had to see you —said Fumi breathing heavily exhausted.
—But my flight, I have to leave.
—I know, I know, but still, I can't let you go, because… —Fumi vacillated a bit before almost shouting at Yasuko— I love you!
Her sempai opened her eyes widely, obviously astonished for the sudden revelation, a moment of silence appeared between the two girls, it wasn't an uncomfortable one though, their eyes met, Fumi looked deep into hers, filled with love and concern for her departure.
—Thank you —a quite delicate smile appeared in Yasuko's lips— now I can leave felling relief, It seems I've finally done something right.
—Bu . . . —Fumi replied to her— that's not the answer I was expecting.
—I have to go, there is no going back now —she couldn't keep herself from hugging Fumi, caressing her silky hair between her fingers.
—I don't want you to leave. —her tears started to flow gloomily, the only thing she could think of was hugging Yasuko tighter, she was not letting her go.
—I don't want it either, but even if it is painful, we both need to carry on by ourselves, grow up, just like you said, remember?
—I know I said that, but I'm afraid.
—So do I, but it's something we must face, I don't know what I will find there, nor what you'll find here. All I know is that right know I love you…
—I love you too —Fumi couldn't keep herself from interrupting.
—That's why we must go on; please do not drop that strength of yours, you even keep it hidden from yourself, but no more. I want you to live, to breath and walk, I want you to love. I want to do it too. We now star a new path, in the way we may find new people and it will be wonderful. We can learn with every new experience, every new joy. Because that's how life works, it's always changing. Think that, perhaps in the future at the end of this new path, we could reunite again, and then everything will be better, with all what we have gathered.
—So, you'll leave? —Fumi got strength from Yasuko's words, and began to relax.
—Yes but do not cry, let me see you smile once more —Fumi swept her tears, her lips drew the most beautiful smile her sempai had ever seen —may I ask another favor?
—Yes —she answered shyly.
—Could I steal one last kiss from you?
—If you ask me, then it's not…
But Yasuko foresaw her answer and before she could even finish, the lips of both girls were joined in one last kiss.
THE END
A.N. Hi everybody, I hoped you've enjoyed this, It's quite different from my last one I guess n_n still, I know this couple doesn't have many fans but I just love Sugimoto-sempai so much, anyway thanks for reading, if you give it a review, it would be awesome and really appreciated. See you next week in my new story, a YuruYuri fic, bye.