Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, even through I wished I did, sadly George Lucas doesn't own it either. All rights now go to Disney

Author's Note: I love writing Obi-wan in pain, even through he is my baby.

He looked up at the sky, making pictures out of the few clouds, he had taken to doing this childish activity again recently, they used to do this together. When they were on the run they didn't have much in the means of things to keep them occupied when they won't being attacked by the merciless Death Watch, so they had invented their own little game. Whenever they had a moment of silence they would both lie on their backs on the ground and look up at the sky and try to guess what the clouds look like. It was under the clouds at sunset that he finally told her that he loved her. From then on they would hold hands and kiss under the clouds when Qui Jon Jinn wasn't looking from then on it almost seemed that the clouds were looking at them instead.

Tears slowly started to fall out of his eyes as he remember all the good times they had had, and all the good times they would have had if he had left all those years ago. He only wished that he was quicker, then maybe he could have saved her from that beast that had taken his master as well. That monster, Darth Maul, the name still tasted sour in his mind as he thinks them, he had taken the two people that Obi-wan had ever fully loved, his master Qui-Gon Jinn, the only real father he ever knew and Satine, the beautiful, strong Duchess of Mandalore who he had fallen in love. All he wanted was to take his revenge out on that beast, to cut him up into a million pieces, just like heart was in. Try to see him come back from that. But then he would be breaking another rule of the precious Jedi Code that he tried so hard to live his life through.

He wanted so desperately to reverse time and save her. And if he couldn't save her he at least wanted to hold her again, kiss her sweet, sweet lips and tell her just how much she truly had meant to him. The realisation hit him again, he never said I love you back to her, her lasts words were words of love to the Jedi and he didn't even say I love you back. She might not have heard them in her last few minutes, but the meaning behind his words would still be there. Three little words that he had dreamt and dreamed about telling her again, about how he would look into her eyes and know that she felt the same. That would never happen now. He was too late.

His body started to shake as great sobs racked his lean frame, he was glade that no one else was out today, he would never show this weakness in front of anyone else. He looked back up the sky, he saw a lily, a perfect white lily made out of the clouds that were floating high above his head. Satine loved lilies. He remembers an incident where he almost broke his leg getting her a lily that was growing on a rocky ledge 100 metres from the ground. In the end he had crushed the lily in his fist by accident but she still toke it from him, giving him a small kiss on the cheek as a reward. Obi-wan lifts his hand up to touch his now wet cheek, as if he still felt the kiss from long ago.

Oh kriff he missed her, her voice, her face, her eyes, her body, her lips, he missed every physical detail of Satine. It wasn't her body she missed most of all, it's her soul, the soul that his heart still craves to be near. Her fierce determination to protect her people, to keep her planet and its moons neutral in a universe where they was only two sides; the Republic and the Separatists. Her neutrality in the war sadly played a part in her death, even though he was the main course. If she had only chosen the Republic all those years ago, the Jedi would have let him rescue her legally, even sent troops to Mandalore, to help free her people, but that was all ancient history, history that he can't re-write no matter how hard he wishes he could.

Ha, history, it was less than 48 hours since her death. He could still feel her body in his arms as the last of her strength left her, he felt the last breath leave her mouth and the words of love that came with it. He could still feel her soft fingers as he kissed her hand just after she died, putting all the love that he felt for her into that brief touch. It was then the through came to him, he had nothing left to live for, Satine was dead, his only love was dead. This war showed no signs of stopping and there were plenty of other Jedi who could take his place, he had completed his dead master's dying wish to teach Anakin, he could just disappear. No one would miss him, yes at first his death would hurt a lot of people, Anakin, Ahsoka, his men and the other Jedi who knew him well.

Wiping the back of his hand across his cheeks, trying to get rid of the dampness that hung to them, he got up on wobbly legs and walked to the edge of the balcony overlooking the rest of Coruscant's busy pulsing streets, it was easy he just had to climb up there and jump, he swiftly got up on the fencing.

"I'm sorry Anakin, Ahsoka, Cody, I'm so sorry, but most of all I'm sorry to you Satine, it's my fault that your dead," he said to no one looking up at the sky one more time before closing his eyes. That lily was still there. As perfect and un-touchable as Satine now was.

"Stop, Obi-wan stop, don't do this please," he opened his eyes quickly, it was her, her voice that said that. He looked around from where he was standing to see Satine sitting on the bench where he was crying moments ago, she had her hands reaching out as if she could catch him.

"Satine," he said as the tears began to run from his eyes again. "You're not real, your, your dead, I saw you die in my arms, you aren't real," he shouted at the mysterious figure. It was her, sitting there, but yet it wasn't, it looked just like her, sounded just like her, even acted like her, but he couldn't feel her through the force, her soul wasn't there.

"Obi-wan please get down and I'll explain everything," the figure said, slowly getting up and reaching out her hand to the broken Jedi.

"I don't want to Satine, I have nothing left to live for," Obi-wan replied sadly turning away from her.

"You have everything to live for, Anakin, Ahsoka, the Order, your men, all the innocent people in the galaxy that need your protection," she said softly reaching up to grab his tunic.

"I couldn't protect you Satine, so how can I protect others, your gone and this is the only way that I will be able to be with you again," he whispered as he looked behind him at her hand that was still clenched into his tunic.

"Obi-wan, I'm here, I'm with you now, and I always will be, I might not be alive, but for this short time I'm back, all I want to do is talk," the woman said, sadness laced into her voice, it sounded like she was about to cry, this is what got Obi-wan to turn around, he could never stand to see or hear her in pain. Maybe she was right, maybe killing himself wasn't a good plan. He felt himself leap off the railing and sitting on the bench where he sat earlier.

"How are you here Satine it doesn't make any sense," he asked looking up at the duchess.

"The truth is I don't know myself, after my death I found myself in a palace, very similar to my palace back home, all around me where my dead friends and family, I was able to see my parents again as well as my older sister; Korkie's mother, I felt at peace, but I also didn't I had a great sadness in my heart, I was still linked to you, it was then that Qui-gon came up to me, asking if I wanted to see you again, I didn't know what he meant, but I had to see you again, and it looks like I came just in time," she said as she slowly put her head on his shoulder and wrapped her thin arms around his torso. She wishes that they could stay like this forever, but she didn't know how much longer she would be able to see him like this. "Qui-gon, he is very proud of you Obi, you've done very well"

"I miss you Satine," Obi-wan said looking into her eyes and wrapping his arms around her shoulders tightly, she felt so real, like she was really there, like she had never died. He never wanted to let go. Her arms wrapped around his broad torso as she nuzzled her head into his neck. "You have no idea how much I miss you, and how much I want to kill that beast who killed you so coldly," he whispered into her ear, his breath playing with the few strands that lay there.

His words scared her more than provided comfort. "Obi, don't say things like, you don't mean them," she said taking her head of his shoulder to look him in the eyes.

"But Satine, I mean every word, what he did, its…," he stopped when he realised that his lips were being covered by another's. At first he didn't know what to do, he relaxed, slowly closing his eyes and kissed her back with all the love and feelings that he had to keep hidden for so long. Satine ran her fingers through his thick auburn locks and Obi-wan placed both hands on her waist drawing her body to his. He had pictured this moment so many times, finally being able to kiss her without the fear of being caught. The kiss ending when they both had run out of breath. They stayed entangled like they were, their foreheads touching as tears of both sadness and happiness fall slowly down the couples cheek.

"You have to go on living Obi-wan, for me, for the galaxy, I will always be with you, maybe not like, where you can talk and touch me, but in your heart," Satine says as she places one of her hands over his heart, that was still racing from their kiss.

"I will Satine for you, for the galaxy," He answers wrapping her into another tight hug. "Do you think we could watch the clouds one more time?"

"Just like we used to, but it's getting dark, Obi-wan do you still play that silly game," she said, she felt his body tense at her tone, "Of course I will," Satine slowly stood up and toke the hand of the Jedi who has loved her just as much as she has loved him. They lie down on the soft grass a few metres away. Not lying down close or hugging, just holding hands, like they used to when they were younger.

"That one looks like a lily, Satine look," he said pointing up to the cloud right above them.

"It does Obi, it does, just like that one that you picked me back on Mandalore," she whispered moving closer to him, snuggling up to his side. That was the last cloud before night descended. Obi-wan protectively wrapped his arms around the Duchess, kissing her softly on the forehead before drifting off to sleep.

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He woke up alone, still on the grass where they had fallen asleep the night before, he knew that she wouldn't be thre when he woke up. He sat up slowly stretching out his muscles, he looked to the place where Satine had fallen asleep in his arms, in her place was a beautiful white lily, slightly crumpled just like the one he had given her. He picked up the flower and held it in his hand once again looking up to the sky.

"I will live on Satine, for you and for the galaxy, I will bring peace to the world, just like you always wished"

Author's Note: Please review so that I can see what you guys think of this story and my writing style