It seemed like hours had passed since I had come home. I immediately had gone to the kitchen, got a bottle of sake and sat down where I had been standing and started drinking. I got drunk and I cried. Life was unfair.

Today I lost a patient, again. That shouldn't be effecting me that much. It just shouldn't. But it was prove that I was still weak. That I would never change. Like the past years were wasted.

Why couldn't I get something right? Why couldn't I be good at something? Better than anybody else?

I wanted to stop looking at the backs of Naruto and Sasuke. I thought I did after the war ended but I was wrong.

Angry at myself I threw the bottle against the wall in front of me. Glass shattering and sake splashing on the floor.

I buried my face in my hands, pulling my hair. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I get something right?

I stared at my hands. So incapable. Too weak to fight, too clumsy to heal. The blood of the patients still seemed to remain on my hands even after washing them a hundred times. They were stained.

I started scratching the skin open on my hands, trying to make that feeling of being stained go away. It wouldn't. It never did. Even when I could only see my own blood, I could feel the blood of the others. My fold. Nothing more, nothing less.

More tears streamed down my face as I pulled my knees up on my chin, wrapping my arms around them. Maybe I could push the reality away.

A knock on my door interrupted me. I didn't answer, hoping the intruder would go away. He wouldn't. Instead I heard the door open, remembering I had forgotten to lock it.

„Sakura?", an all too familiar voice said. I didn't answer. Why was he here. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Isn't my failure enough for him to be sure of how weak and useless I am? Why couldn't he let me be?

His steps came closer.

„Sakura?", he asked worriedly. He saw the broken bottle, maybe my blood.

„What are you doing?", he whispered, now from right beside me. I shook my head in response. 'Go away', I wanted to scream. 'Leave me alone'. But he wouldn't. It wasn't worse a try. Nothing was anymore.

„Look at me", he said. Was that worry? Why would he care about me? I am nothing.

I vigorously shook my head, dizzy from the alcohol.

„Sakura", he whispered desperately. Then he did something so unlike for him. He put his arms around me and pulled me on his lap, hugging me tightly.

I felt something. A feeling from deep inside of me. What was it? Was is it the feeling of not being alone? Of mending?

A sob escaped me. More tears fell. Was I even supposed to heal?

„Shhh. It's alright", Sasuke whispered in my ear. His voice was so soothing. I buried my face into his chest. Being near him seemed to be enough. Maybe I could stop falling apart.

„Life is unfair", I croaked out. He would understand.

„I know", was all he said but his grip tightened even more around me. It was keeping me together.

I took a deep and shaky breath.

„It's so hard to take", I said. I leaned against him chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was so comforting.

„I know", he replied again but then, after a pause, he added: „But it would be even harder without you"

I didn't say a word. I didn't want to destroy the moment. I just took his hand and squeezed it. You're not alone. For the first time in a long time I smiled again. It was only a little smile but it was true. I wasn't alone and neither was he.