BPOV
I pulled up to their house.
Just one breath and I could tell they weren't there. Very slowly I made my way to the house. As I reached the front door I waited almost 10 minutes. Debating with myself whether I should really do this or not.
I decided it couldn't hurt to just look so I entered the house. All the memories came back at once. I crumpled to the floor. After a few minutes I had finally gathered the strength to at least look around. I glanced at the huge piano standing in the corner on a little platform. It had taken me over 50 years to be able to play. And now I finally was able to play quite well. I started to make my way over to the piano. Without really realizing it. The memories kept coming back as I slowly walked to the piano. The first time Edward had played for me. The times he had hummed me my lullaby. The look of Esme as Edward played for her. Everything.
After what seemed like ages I reached the piano and started playing. I didn't have control anymore. My hands just glided over the keys. I just played and let the pain flood through me. I wished I could cry right now.
Realization dawned in on me, I was playing 'Claire de Lune' by Debussy. One of Edwards favorites as my own. I don't know how long I sat there, playing. Again and again, playing different compositions but all the same composer, Debussy.
Edwards favorite.
After what seemed like forever it started to feel a little more comfortable like I belonged there. Like it used to be.
I didn't realize that by now I had an audience. Not until I heard my name. the name I hadn't heard in over 50 years. Nobody called me that anymore, not since they left.
"Bella..?" a soft whisper asked with so much emotion, she'd be crying like mad if she could.
Chapter 1
Esme POV
"Carlisle…" I whispered.
"Yes, love?" he answered.
"I was thinking, it's been over 50 years since we left Forks… Bella.. I'd like to go back for a while. Our old house. What if she's searching for us?" my voice broke a little at the end.
What if she's searching but can't find us. I couldn't bear it. And I had to make sure for myself she was still alive. Hopefully she may have left a clue somewhere, anywhere.
"I'm not sure Esme, do you think you can handle it? I mean it'll bring up very painful memories for everyone. I don't think we should burden anyone with that…" he let the sentence hanging there.
He came to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"I meant just the two of us, Carlisle." I whispered
"Do you think you can handle it, love?" he asked once again.
Honestly I wasn't sure if I could handle it, but I needed to know. I had to go back.
"With you there, I can, Carlisle." I told him. It wasn't much of lie, I just didn't know how much of it was true.
I turned around in his arms to kiss him. He kissed me back softly before asking me when I wanted to go.
"now" I said.
We had been silent for the entire run. I decided to stretch a little so we went running. Just a few miles before we'd reach the house, Carlisle stopped me and took me in his arms.
"are you sure?" he asked once again.
I kissed him reassuringly and nodded. I couldn't turn back now. I was very surprised nor Alice nor anyone came over to beg me if they could come. I would've thought they'd heard.
We started running again. Once we were almost there, we hear music playing.
Our piano was being played. We stopped and looked at each other. We smelled the air. A vampire, but not Edward. Whoever he/she was broke into our house and was now playing 'Clair de Lune' amazingly perfect.
We stayed hours just listening. Why I don't know, there was a vampire in our house and we didn't really care. We decided it was about time to step in now. Once we were inside we couldn't believe our eyes. She was there. It was really her. Bella, our Bella. Before I knew it I called for her.
"Bella..?" I asked softly
I saw her stiffen at the piano. Oh please Bella answer.
Chapter 2
BPOV
After about 5 minutes I turned. I saw 2 vampires standing there, the 2 vampires I hoped not to run into. Esme and Calisle. My parents in so many ways.
If it'd be anyone else, I'd be able to run. But I just couldn't hurt my parents in that way. I just couldn't. I couldn't get away from their gazes. As if they hold me, pull me towards them. I finally succeeded in looking away.
"M.. mmmo.. mom…," I stuttered, though it was so soft I'm not sure if I actually said it.
"D-Da.. Dad…," again I wasn't sure they'd be able to hear.
I didn't have the strength to look up to their faces, so I just fell to the ground once again. Rocking back and forward. Crying.
I didn't notice they were moving until I felt 2 sets of arms picking me up and hugging the life out of me, while they cried with me.
I felt all the pain, that I had successfully repressed all those year, come to me at once. I knew I was going to pass out soon. Just before I did I heard them whisper to me.
"Bella, my baby, back.." Esme cried softly.
"Bella, our daughter, we love you, Bella…" Carlisle whispered in my ear.
Although I'm not sure that's what he actually said or if it was my imagination. All I know is that I wished with all my heart that that's what he said and that he meant it.
Chapter 3
(A/N Thank you for all your reviews.. after I read them I got some inspiration once again :D, I'm trying to make the next chapters a little bit longer.)
(Disclaimer: I don't own anything.. unfortunately :P)
I got back to being conscious, but I kept my eyes closed. I didn't know where I was or who was there yet. So I pretended to still be out.
I could hear voices becoming louder as I regained my consciousness more and more.
"OMG, I think she back!" someone squealed.
I couldn't help the headache that started. Why did this little thing have to squeal. Now I'll have a headache for a few days…
"Shut it Alice! Let her wake up on her own." Some soft smooth voice said.
I'm not sure how, but I like this voice. The room also seems very familiar. It smells good. After a few moments of silence I thought I might have a chance at looking at them. But once I opened my eyes, I didn't open my eyes. I could see, but my body didn't respond.
I saw 7 pairs of shocked expressions. I guess they could see me anyways. The first one to recover her voice was, of course, Alice.
She started jumping up and down and clapping her hands. Until she looked at my body that is. She started sobbing. I didn't really understand why she was sobbing though.
"Am I dead or something? Why are you sobbing?" this left my mouth before I even realized it.
I clapped my hands over my mouth in shock. How could I just feel like nothing ever happened? I felt perfectly at home, at ease. As if they never left. Not an inch of pain, nowhere to be found.
Until Carlisle spoke.
"Alice? What did you see? Nothing is here. What's going on?" he sounded very worried.
"Bella… she left her body. She even spoke to me, she asked me why I was sobbing. Well Bella, as you probably realized by now, no one else sees you. And well I'm not sure if you're dead or not." She broke on the word 'dead'.
I've never seen them so devastated. I guess they hurt just as much as I did. I guess they might really love me. But why then, why do I have to be so stupid, to get out of my body…
I decided I'd just try and get back in my body. I just laid down, but nothing happened.
"Alice… I know you miss her. I know we had a chance now. I know she's here, but honestly I don't know if I can believe you when you say things like that. I'm sorry, but it seems your trying to keep her alive with words. I'm going to do everything I can to get her back, but she's a vampire. Which makes this already weird enough." Carlisle said. Earning a hurt look from Alice.
I wanted to defend my friend. Say anything to make him believe. And with that I flooded back out of my body to Carlisle's side. Alice looked at me in awe. She knew what I was up to and she was smiling widely. Though it didn't reach her eyes. She didn't know if I was going to be safe.
"Carlisle… Dad… she's right you know. I wanted to open my eyes and here I was flooding. I'm trying my best to get back down. I think I already know the problem. Don't worry too much. Be there for Esme, she'll need it when I go talk to her like I'm talking to you right now. Do you understand?" I asked him in a low whisper.
"Bella? Uhm.. uh.. yes I understand, but…" he started to ramble but I cut him off.
"Dad.. don't.. I'll be back before the end of the week, I promise, just be there for Esme, I'm going now, right after you ok?" I asked him. I needed to be sure he'd catch her when she fell.
"Got it" he answered.
"love you, daddy" I managed to choke out.
The pain of them leaving came back to me. I didn't know how much more I'd be able to take. But I had to talk to my Mom first.
"what's happening" Esme asked in a bit of a worried voice. It was so soft and sweet. I really missed her a hell of a lot.
"It's okay, love." Carlisle comforted her. "I just think Alice was right, and I'll be here for you. Bella just told me she's going to talk to you. Like she just talked to me. I know it's weird, but you'll see."
I took that as my cue to go to Esme. I would just make my presence known first. Just a few touches. She stiffened a little and let out a little cry, but she managed to get a hold on herself.
"Mom, Esme, I know this is weird and I really hate it too, but I'm experiencing an out of body experience right now. The good news however is, I think I know why and how to get back. Don't worry too much. I love you with all my heart, you're my Mom. You truly are. Keep everyone at bay for me will ya?" I chuckled.
She seemed a little bit taken aback by what I just told her, but then a huge grin spread across her face." I certainly will Bella, I certainly will." She whispered.
Now I knew that Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Edward knew I was really roaming here I thought I might have a little fun, but first I'd better go deal with my issues. I figured I couldn't go back to my body, because the pain of them leaving was too much. I had to mentally go through it first so my body wouldn't be overloaded. Though after I done this, I might have some fun.
"Don't you dare Bella.. Don't you dare" Alice threatened me. Of course she saw the grin on my face to figure out what I was thinking.
"Sorry Alice, I won't… but will you let me in everyone's room tonight please? It'll be the quickest way to make me come back."
"I'm not sure, won't they notice your presence?" Alice asked very worriedly, "I mean it's not just me, but I think this creeps everyone out. And the thought that you might be roaming in there room wouldn't help that" she stated out.
"I know Alice, but you don't sleep so you won't have nightmares… ask them for me please? otherwise it'll take a week instead of maybe 3 nights.
"fine, uhm.. everybody? Bella wants to know if she can hang out in all of ya'll rooms tonight. She says it'll help her get back sooner…" she let the sentence hang to give the rest some time.
"I just want my sister back, let her roam." Rosalie said in a somewhat grave tone.
Everyone, and I mean everyone but Rosalie gasped at her.
"What I love my little sister okay? I missed her just as much as you did" she stated a little bit grumpily.
"Alice, tell her I love her too, and thank you, that'll be all.. I got a body to get back in to."
" Ahh I don't want you leaving yet. How will I know you won't leave when you're back?" Alice pouted. " Well Rosalie… Bella said 'I love you too, and thank you'"
With this they all left the room since I didn't reply to Alice.
Time to go deal with some pain.
(A/N. I really hope you liked it. It was a bit of a chance, but it just came to me. I promise it won't stay like this for long. It just seemed like a bit of a fun way to experiment. I'm not sure how long it'll take for me to update. I got another story, and I don't have the computer all to myself.. unfortunately I have an brother.. he's kind of addicted to World of Warcraft… so… hope I'll get some more reviews, and if you have some cool ideas feel free to share ;P
Love Ya!! )
Chapter 4
(A/N So i'm gonna give a short outline of the 3 nights.. just to give a little bit of an idea, but I wanna continue again so… here it goes.. thank you all so much for the reviews :D)
BPOV
I knew I had to deal with my pain, before my body could handle it. At days I'd spend in Edward's room. Remembering, but the nights I'd spent in the other rooms, watching them, remembering them.
The first night I decided I'd take Jasper & Alice's room. It would be the toughest room seeing Alice can see me. I didn't knock as I didn't hear anything special happening in their room. I was shocked at the emotions running through though. The couple was sitting on their huge bed. Alice on Jasper's lap. Rocking back and forward. It was so sad. They were being sad for me.
"BELLA!" Alice yelled the moment she saw me.
"Alice, you know you should stop yelling like that" I whispered, gaining a headache once again.
"Sorry" she mumbled.
I continued to watch them. I felt the pain, but it was getting easier. I could see how unhappy and out of character they were without me. I really was a part of their family.
Once the day came I spent the day again on Edward's room. To feel at peace here would require a lot more time.
The second night, I'd taken the room that for me was less likely to go well. Rosalie & Emmett. To my surprise they weren't doing anything. They were just lying there. In each other arms. Emmett seemed very defeated. Even Rosalie looked sad. She couldn't really be sad for me could she?
I listened to their conversation as it was about me.
"I really do love her, Emmett. Why did I have to be so cold to her?" Rosalie sobbed softly in Emmett's chest.
"Shh.. Rosalie" Emmet cooed, "She'll be fine." Though he didn't sound so sure.
They too cared for me. Rosalie had missed me. I couldn't believe it. It was so easy to feel at peace here. I'd be able to stay here forever, but I felt myself being pulled away. It became light again. I retreated back to Edward's room.
The last night, the last room. I actually already felt quite comfortable being in Edward's room again. But now for the hardest part. My parents room. Carlisle & Esme.
I heard some weird sounds in their room. And I was afraid I'd be disturbing something. Just as I thought that Alice came out of her room and saw me hesitating at the door.
"Esme?" she called out. "Is it safe to go in your room right now?"
Nothing but silence came from the room. I took that as my cue to go in. seeing the noise had stopped. As I went in I saw they had had a fight.
Esme had been throwing books at Carlisle. I don't know what the fight was about but both of them were crying at the opposite corner of their room.
I decided to interfere a little.
"Uhm.. what the hell happened here?" I asked softly.
They both looked up surprised. "Watch your mouth, young lady" Esme scolded me. Even though she couldn't see me. "Sorry mom" I told her.
After that they made up. I felt that there wasn't much to forgive here. They were my parents, but they really were Edward's. they only supported him in his choice, because they couldn't make him change his mind. They were the best parents ever.
And with that I felt myself being pulled to my body. It grew stronger and stronger as I realized I had forgiven everyone for leaving me. I could live with them. For now at least.
I got back in my body and I felt connected again, then everything went blank.
I felt myself breathing. I felt myself waking up. For real this time.
As I opened my eyes I stared in 7 pairs of curious eyes.
(A/N. okay that was that. I really needed to be able to continue 'normally' again. Maybe it was a bit very short, but I couldn't come up with anything really so. Please some reviews, they give me energy and inspiration for next chapters.. if anyone has some ideas.. feel free to share ;P)
chapter 5
(A/N. okay so I hope this'll be going to the end a bit, which means I'll probably have some longer chapters. Seeing the title of the FF I'm going to get quite some parent time in it too. That was basically the idea… xD hope it turns out okay ;), thnx to sam v-TNEBM for mentioning Jacob to me, I almost forgot about him xD )
CPOV
Bella opened her eyes and stares at us. We thought it might be better if just a few of us would be there when she woke up, but no one wanted to stay away.
"Hey…" she said softly, but very warmly.
Everyone smiled and stood back a bit. Giving her some space.
"How are you feeling?" I asked her.
"Much better" she said with a huge smile. "I've actually seen some interesting things…" she said with a somewhat evil glint in her eyes. Looking at me and Esme.
"Well.. what have you been doing?"Emmett asked, wiggling his eyebrows. If Esme or myself could've blushed we would've been beet red by now.
"Nothing special, Emmett. Nothing you couldn't top." Bella saved us from Emmett's endless joking.
Everyone told her they loved her and started to leave the room. We thought it'd be best to talk to her first on our own, me and Esme that is. About the fact that she was in our house, playing the piano. First of course she had to tell Edward she even touched it, without asking. But first of all, she actually broke in to our house. Of course we didn't mind seeing it was Bella, but it still needed some talking. We didn't really know how to begin, luckily Bella ones again saved us.
"So I guess you would want to talk to me about some things…" she whispered.
We just simply nodded. Esme went to sit by her on the bed. Hugging her, and holding her hand. Even before I could ask her a question, she broke down.
"I'm soo.. soo sorry…" she sobbed. "I know I shouldn't have broken into your house earlier. And I shouldn't have just played the piano like that.. b-b-but I- I I just had to-ooo." She cried harder now.
A feeling told me, she wasn't only crying for that, she was also letting the pain out. Accepting it, accepting us back in her life. I walked over to the other side of her bed, opposite of Esme. We hugged her. Let her cry.
"It's okay, Bella. You're family. Even when we left, you were still family. It was just a shock to see you here. Like you accepted that fact…" I whispered to her.
I heard footsteps coming closer. And I smelled a disgusting smell. What in the name of everything was that? Apparently Bella smelled it too, she cringed a little at the smell, and memories.
"What's wrong, honey?" Esme asked our daughter softly.
"just a friend, come in Jake." She said.
Just when she said that the door opened. An tall, russet colored boy came in.
"I think you should tell them a little about yourself Jake, they seem a little uncomfortable… probably the smell.. sorry that you have to be in a house full…" she said a little apologetic.
Who was this boy, to have deserved the love of my daughter? He seemed so mad at her. What was his problem? I just hope he didn't hurt my little girl. He would die if he did. After she was already so hurt by us.
"I'm a werewolf." He stated with a grin, "and I'm here to take Bella with me."
We all looked at him in shock. Even Bella. She seemed to think for a while, I hope not about going with him. She couldn't just leave us. Although it would be fair seeing we left her once too, but no.. I couldn't accept it if she went willingly.
"You know I can't do that Jake," she whispered, "I have my family here, I can't leave them."
"You call these bloodsuckers family?" he asked, getting angry.
"FYI Jacob, I. AM. ONE." She told him calmly, emphasizing the last 3 words.
"Bella… Bella, Bella, Bella. Just listen to yourself. If you could just look into your own eyes, you'd see that you want to come with me. You're coming with me. You know what you did, you know how you feel. And we all know how you're trying to suppress those feelings. For. ME." He nearly shouted.
I thought he was being very rude, but seeing the look on Bella's face, he was somehow somewhere a little right. I guess that she did wanted to come, but not because she had romantic feelings for him.
"I will not come, Jacob." She whispered, looking down. "you've been hurt too many times, but I can't heal you. I got myself to heal and that has to be done here. If I come and heal you, I'll end up killing you once again. I never loved you Jacob. It was just an escape. Please." She pleaded with him.
I saw this Jacob guy tense. He was definitely not pleased.
"Don't you dare start denying this again…" Jacob threatened, "you know just as good as I do, that you'll be back for me."
With that he left. Leaving us stunned behind. I really hope this encounter would not happen. Though I really didn't believe it ever would. Bella didn't love him like that did he?
"So how did you know this Jacob?" I asked a very annoyed Bella.
She grimaced. Not wanting to share anymore. Esme thought otherwise.
"It's okay, honey. We just want to know some about him. Nothing will harm you. We'll always be here watching over you."
When Esme said these soft words, she relaxed a little. She looked at us and we hugged her. We got rid of everyone in the house. We laid down beside her on the bed. With one shaky breath she started her story of how we left, and how she met Jacob and the pack
BPOV
It felt very good to be able to talk to Carlisle and Esme, my parents. They were just so understanding and patient, sometimes a little too, but still. It also felt nice to lie in between them. I never really had both my parents with me at the same time. Both loving me and each other. It had a certain charm. I felt brave, I could talk about anything. And we didn't get disturbed by anyone. God I love them. But it was time to talk to them about some issues I still had. These were a little less comfortable to talk about. Edward. I still wasn't sure if I was doing good going back to him.
"uhm.. can I ask something?" I asked very softly. I felt somewhat shaky, but they didn't seem to notice.
"Of course, honey" of course the lovely Mom had no problem with it. Carlisle also nodded encouragingly.
"Well I've been thinking. I'm not so sure if what I'm doing is the right thing to do. With Edward I mean." I still cringed a little at saying his name out loud. After I said that I didn't get a respond for a long time. I was getting anxious.
"Uhm… it feels weird. I'm scared…" I continued, but not knowing what else to say.
I looked up to see their faces and they were glowing. Like literally glowing. Why should someone glow when their 'daughter' says she's not sure if she wants back with their son…
Esme POV
I couldn't believe it. Bella actually talked about relation problems. Of course it worried me that she thought she may not want to get back with Edward… she had to. But she never really spoke of her feelings, ever. And now she was asking us, her parents, for help.
"Honey, of course you're scared. You've both changed. It's all new again. But when you lay awake at night and you can't sleep who do you think of? And the thought of who makes you smile so big you'd think someone glued it like that? I think the answer to that would be Edward…" I told her, grinning at the last part.
She seemed to think it over. I saw Carlisle grinning too. We were kind of setting up our 2 children to get back together. They were so cute together. Fit perfectly.
"but, what if… " she was thinking again, "what if I'm just not good enough, and it's faith?"
"You don't honestly think faith had brought you back to us, to leave us again, do you?" I asked a bit scared.
She confused my fear with being annoyed. "I don't say I want to leave or anything" she hurriedly explained.
"Sweety, all we're trying to say, is that you and Edward are perfect together. Of course you have your ups and downs, but you always look so at peace, so as 1, when you're together." Carlisle told her and I couldn't help but smile at his words, hugging Bella once more. To confirm Carlisle's words. With one look at Carlisle we left, letting it all sink in on Bella.
Edward POV
I don't know why, but Esme and Carlisle kicked us all out so they could talk to my Bella. Ye, you got it right I said my Bella.
"Damn it, Edward. You're driving me crazy." Jasper complained.
"Shut it Jazz, what are they doing, that I can't know about?" I asked to no one in particular. Of course someone had to answer.
"Maybe they're discussing you, Eddie." Emmett said.
"Watch it Em, don't think I won't come after you." And with that I sprinted of.
I didn't know where I was going. As long as it would be away from here. I needed some alone time to think for myself. I wanted to take Bella on a date. To see how things were between us. To see what we'd have to work on, but she still seemed very exhausted. Giving me more time to plan something perfect. It had to be perfect for my perfect Bella.
I got really frustrated now. Then I found Emmett nor Jasper was following me. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I'd actually be able to get some alone time every once in a while. But then I felt something move from behind me. I turned but only saw a blur. I smelled the air, and I smelled the one scent that could drive me crazy to no end. Bella.
(Hehe.. just indicating I'm not done with the story yet.., I'm gonna get Jacob back, and of course some BxE action.. what would I do without? :P what did you think of this chapter? I hope there are no traces of my other story in it. I suddenly started writing this thing for my other story, so I had to cut that out and create this ending… kinda funny, now I got 2 chapters, but made it in one.. lol.. well reviews please? ;P)
ok that is what she wrote so i'll add to it soon.