A/N: It's back. And I'm back.

This story was originally uploaded summer of 2011 to celebrate Tsunade's birthday on August 3rd.

Sadly, apparently my T-rated mild cursing and sexual innuendo scared the crap out of some poor kid and led her to report me for mis-rating the story and runing her innocence or something.

So it's back, and is now M-RATED though nothing has changed and I highly doubt this qualifiesas M.

Still. Enough of my whining.

DNON IWID donotownnaruto iwishidid

Enjoy.

Haruno Sakura cruised through the corridors of the Hokage building, carrying a stack of boxes.

In passing, she looked out the hallway window and smiled. The sun shone down on the buildings, explosions rose from the training grounds and the forest swayed with the August wind in the distance, much like a green ocean. To top it off, Sakura kicked open the door to the Hokage's office to be met with a sober Tsunade scanning through documents.

All in all, it was a normal summer day in the hidden village on Konoha.

Pause. Rewind.

Tsunade was sober and working.

What the hell.

"Good afternoon, Shishou," Sakura said, approaching the desk.

"Good afternoons my ass," Tsunade scowled. "How long do you plan on keeping me imprisoned?"

"It's only been…eighteen hours. At your pace, you've got at least a day more to go."

Sakura genially dumped the boxes on the desk with a thud, and Tsunade looked up from signing mounds of legal documents to be greeted by more handsome stacks of mission reports.

"It'll be good morning by the time I'm through with these," Tsunade's lips twitched. "Why don't we take a break and get a little drink?"

"Nope, you can't stop now. We're just starting to make progress, Hokage-sama," Sakura said with a coy smile, "maybe if you hadn't insisted on operating on that ANBU squad that wasn't-actually-critically-injured and skipped out of office for a week, you'd have less to do."

"Quit being cheeky with the Hokage," Tsunade, rested her cheek on her fist. "Maybe I should take you off hospital duty and make you file these instead."

"No, because then you'll demand that you're needed in the hospital and miss more work, because apparently 'the citizens are in need and it is a Hokage's duty to tend for her people' according to a certain someone last fall."

"I think it was a fine speech," Tsunade smirked.

"I think it was fine bullshitting," Sakura rolled her eyes.

"The people need their Hokage!"

"The people need their Hokage being the Hokage."

Tsunade slammed her head on the worktable.

"I need a new job," she muttered, and Sakura raised a brow.

"If that's all, shoo-shoo," Tsunade waved her hand at Sakura, not bothering to look up.

Sakura began gathering the finished papers scattered on the desk when she recollected something from her mental to-do list.

"Ah, shishou, I do have something to ask you," she said.

"Spit it out," Tsunade semi-replied.

"What are you doing for your birthday? It's coming up soon."

Tsunade's eyes shot open in panic and she bolted up immediately, swatting Sakura's hand away.

"How the hell do you know it?" the blonde roared.

"I have my sources," Sakura smirked, and Tsunade narrowed her eyes.

"SHIZUNEEEEE!"

"No need to call her. She didn't tell me."

"Then how on Kami's beautiful fucking earth, do you know my birthday?" Tsunade slammed her fist.

Sakura shrugged. "You never tell me, so I dug through some old files of yours. Surprisingly, it wasn't too difficult."

Tsunade buried her face into her hands and groaned at her student's resourcefulness.

"Sakura, does anyone else know?" the blonde questioned acutely.

"That you're turning sixty? No, just myself," Sakura smiled at her gaping teacher. "But the whole village might as well know that it's because of your senility that you're not doing your job properly."

Tsunade glared at her student through her hands and groaned. "You taught you sass? Oh, that's right, I did. And I'm an idiot."

Sakura took note of the depth of Tsunade's sigh and her noticeable worry.

"Shishou, why are you so defensive about the knowledge of your birthday?" she asked, "Actually, don't most leaders hold large festivities to celebrate their birthdays?"

"Exactly."

"And what's bad about that?"

"If I hold memorable birthdays, people remember that I'm supposed to be aging," Tsunade said, agitated, "then they start wondering how old I am."

"…so the problem is…"

"My age, Sakura. My age. I hate people thinking that I'm old. Or look old."

"Shishou, you still don't look a day over thirty."

"Well, I used to not look a day over twenty," Tsunade huffed crossed her arms. Sakura snorted.

"So a party is a no-no?" Sakura re-confirmed, filing the paperwork into cabinets.

"Absolutely not."

"Then is there anything you want? I want to get you something nice, since you are turning—"

"Don't say it," Tsunade snapped.

"Alright, alright. But really, what do you want?"

"Nothing."

"You've got to have something in mind."

" I don't want anything."

"Come on, Shishou. I really want to get you something—and I will, whether you like it or not. I do think it's better to get you something knowing you'd like it."

"Eh."

Tsunade lounged lazily in her chair, staring absently at her work desk. Seeing the old woman's lack of response, Sakura began to leave the office with her boxes.

"I'll just take these to be processed, then. I'll be back later."

Tsunade looked at Sakura's retreating back pensively, and before her apprentice was out the door, she declared:

"I want grandchildren."

Sakura's foot slipped, and she fell backwards onto the floor as the once-organized papers rained down and littered the floor.

Smooth, Sakura. Smooth.

Tsunade watched with dry amusement as Sakura fumbled to pick up the mess.

"Shishou, that's not funny."

"I'm being completely serious," Tsunade said straight-faced, her eyes sparkling, and Sakura flinched.

"Why?"

"Because. I'm getting old, and it's time I see some new faces around."

Tsunade grinned. "So get me grandchildren."

"You're asking for something unreasonable," Sakura said, "Go ask someone married—like Naruto."

"Che. I don't need more blonde brats like that running around," Tsunade scoffed, "but I could use more of you, even if they're Uchiha's brats."

Sakura choked on her spit and almost fell down again. Almost.

"What do you mean?" she screeched.

"I mean exactly what I say. You're with Sasuke, aren't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sakura said.

"Don't play dumb, Sakura. I have my sources," Tsunade reached into her drawer and pulled out two video tapes for Sakura to see. "Ever heard of security cameras?"

Sakura gaped and Tsunade's smirk widened in triumph.

"The camera caught you to having a little fun in the hospital."

"No way," Sakura gawked

"Yes way."

"I thought we took care of…"

"You guys were careless. Wasn't somebody impatient?" Tsunade teased.

Sakura snapped out of shock and cursed.

"Did anyone else see this?"

"Don't worry, I confiscated the recordings before nurses could gossip, and sealed a bit of the security man's memory. For his own good, too."

The pink-haired medic let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Shishou," she said, "since when have you known?"

"A while. Since when have you been together?"

"A while."

Tsunade raised a brow, but sighed. "Fine. Don't tell me. I"ll squeeze it out of you some other day. Why keep it a secret, though?"

Sakura shrugged. "I don't think, or at least he doesn't believe that the village is ready for…'us' yet."

"Not ready for you two going at each other like bunnies in public?"

"Shishou!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I understand. It's your decision. But the point here is," Tsunade laced her fingers, "that you do have someone to procreate with."

Sakura grimaced as she detected the glint in her teacher's eyes. "No."

"Come on, isn't it time that Uchiha began reviving his clan anyways?"

"Not as your birthday present."

"A nice army of Uchiha brats would be a great addition to the village," Tsunade grinned.

"I don't want to have children for the sake of someone else."

"Then do it for yourself," the blonde declared, and Sakura halted.

"You and Sasuke probably have your reasons, but I suggest that you legitimatize or legalize or something whatever it is that you have before it disappears. Isn't it time you graduate from the petty teenage relationship drama and move onto something more mature?"

"But shishou,"

"Sakura," Tsunade hollered at her silent student, "Be a bit more selfish about this. And that's an order."

"Hai, Shishou," Sakura answered, resigned.

"So, grandchildren?"

"I'll think about it."

"Hm…since it'll be difficult to conceive by my birthday, I'll give a month's extension on this assignment," Tsunade declared, "If not, I'll brand you as the single most useless pupil for not getting me a birthday present."

"You're already the single most demanding teacher for this."

"You've never failed me."

"Don't hold me to it," Sakura chuckled, bowing before leaving the room, "but we'll see."

"By the way, Sakura."

"Yes, Shishou?"

"Tell Sasuke to drop by sometimes."

"Why?"

"I'm introducing him to our stealth squad. If no one's heard you screaming in the hospital yet, his silencing jutsu has got to be something. They could use some of his skills."

Sasuke was practicing taijutsu by himself in a secluded training ground when Sakura showed up abruptly.

Before he could greet her, her lips stole his thunder, kissing him hard.

They broke apart, panting.

"Sakura, what—"

"We're making birthday presents."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Just shut up and kiss me."

She grabbed his shoulders and crashed her lips onto his again, pulling them down onto the grass.

Sasuke wrapped his arms around her and complied—who was he to complain?

A/N: See? It's T-rated. T RATED TO THE T.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know. Or be honest and just tell me that you enjoyed it.

Thanks for reading and thank you to those who reviewed and faved the story before it got taken down :)