Chapter 1

It was late… and Jacob and I just finished sex. I knew Edward would be jealous. That's right. I'd have sex with a werewolf just so Edward would notice me. I could feel his stare on my bare back, but that might be because owls were common in Forks. Jacob smiled at me, flashing ridiculously white teeth. But they weren't pointy enough for me to be attracted to him, so it did nothing for me. Our sex only lasted for 10 minutes. He was NOT good in bed. Well, at least not as good as me, Bella Swan, the hooker. Jacob wasn't paying me though, I was letting him do this free of charge. I knew he'd always had a bit of a flame for me, and so I decided to give him a whirl. As he moaned I rolled my eyes. He was now *POOF* not a virgin. I, of course, had done it with Eric, Mike, Tyler, and the creepy gym teacher. Unfortunately, the high school boys couldn't afford more than a hundred bucks, so I only made three hundred, which for me is disappointing. The gym teacher though, was more than willing to pay me the money I deserved – one hundred and ten dollars. God. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a white, pale, muscular figure sitting on the window.

"Edward, you found me!" I exclaimed, sitting up and leaving Jacob completely blanket-less. I threw myself at Edward's still form and peppered his neck with kisses. "I missed you. How was hunting?"

"What the hell, Bella?" shouted Jacob. I had then realized that he must be cold. I handed him back the blankets and turned to face my beloved vampire.

Realizing I was naked, I took off Edward's shirt and wrapped it around me. "So… You must REALLY want me right now." I looked at him, trying to raise my one eyebrow, failing miserably.

Edward stared at his chest, completely shirtless, and then glanced at me. "I guess. I mean, after all, you are a bit of a slut. And it would just be weird for me NOT to want you."

"So, you wanna play?" I tried to wink attractively at him, but instead I blinked both eyes, and he stared at me strangely.

Jacob was starting to feel uncomfortable. I knew this because when I turned around to look at him, he was no longer in bed, and instead was racing for the door, my blankets still wrapped around his waist. "WAIT!" I ran for the door but tripped over Edward's extended foot.

I got up casually, but Edwards shirt came off me, so now I was butt naked. "Jacob, we can always have a threesome, you would be invited to join us you know" Jacob stared blankly at me. Edward had a repulsive look upon his face, and I was the only one smiling hopefully.

"He is not invited," Edward snapped rudely. He crossed his arms across his bare chest like a spoiled brat, still resting in my windowsill. "It's either just me and you, or you and him."

Jacob furrowed his brows, thinking deeply. "How about just me and Edward." Jacob made a sexy growling sound at Edward. Edward winked. Was there something going on here? I always thought I was the one they would fight over.

Jacob dropped my blankets on the ground and strutted up to Edward, who backed away. "Come here, Eddie. I know you want me. I know you've always wanted me."

Edward shook his head and pointed in my direction "No. Not at all. I want Bella, not you. So there." Edward stuttered.

I stuck my tongue out at Jacob. "Told you so!" But Jacob kept walking towards Edward in a sexy way. Edward looked nervous and looked frantically at me. I shrugged. Jacob soon reached Edward and threw him onto the bed.

Edward bolted for the door, but Jacob growled and shook his head. He held Edward down as I watched, amused. I have to admit. This was hot.

"Black, you better let me go."

"Nope!" Jacob sang happily as he stroked Edward's hair.

"Seriously, Jake," I said, shaking my head at him. "This was cute for about ten seconds. Please let him go so we can have sex." Jacob took his pointer finger and put it gently against Edwards freezing cold lips.

"Hush little baby don't you cry, Jacobs gonna rape you, but you won't die."

Edward shot me a pleading look, and I couldn't agree more. "Jacob, shut up. You can't sing at all." Edward rolled his eyes.

"Let me go, mutt." Edward opened his mouth wide and flashed his teeth. "I'll bite you if you don't."

Jacob's hand migrated to Edward's six-pack. "You're so…..muscled," he moaned, nipping at Edward's ear.

I knew I had to do something. Then I remembered! The pole stripper classes I had taken back in Phoenix! I grabbed the post next to the bed and started dancing. Pole style. I caught Jacob attention.

He seemed to consider something for a moment before grabbing my arm and throwing me down beside Edward. He glanced at me. "You are too cute."

I nodded in agreement. "I know. Now kiss me." I wrapped my arms around his neck and we made out passionately for a few seconds, giving Edward time to escape. He leapt through the window and disappeared into the forest. But now I was stuck with Jacob. I kicked him in the balls and he ran out the window whimpering.

I sighed, lying back in bed, alone at last. "All in a day's work."

The End

(for now)