Chapter 1
The clock on the wall wouldn't shut up. Every single time it ticked, it was a different sound. Sometimes it was Two-Bit, flicking out his switchblade and then closing it again. Other times it was Dally's heartbeat, strong and steady. Or it would be Johnny's teeth chattering, as he slept out in the lot in the late fall weather. I knew that none of them were really there; it was just me and Soda. I couldn't sleep, I had too much on my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about mom and dad, or about the day before. It haunted me and it was on my mind all the time, but nobody knew it had affected me that much.
I sighed and slid out from underneath Soda's arm, wincing as my bare feet touched the cold floor. I glanced back at my brother and smiled slightly, watching his chest move up and down as he slept. He was lucky he was able to be carefree. Sometimes I wished I could be more like him and not worry about anything, but I think too much. I can't help it. I grabbed my jacket and slung it on, not caring what my hair looked like. It was around 4 in the morning, and nobody would be out. Except for me.
I opened the front door silently and stepped outside, pulling out a cigarette the second I was out of the house. The October breeze caused me to shiver as I trudged down to the lot, hoping to see my best friend, Johnny Cade. Sure enough, he was laying underneath a tree, staring up at the sky. He jumped slightly when I approached him, but relaxed when he saw it was just me. "Hey Pony, what are you doing out this late?" he questions, concern flashing in his dark eyes.
"Just couldn't sleep, you know." I say, and he knows the reason why. He doesn't even have to ask, he knows me too well. I remember it was just last night we were out here, laying together and talking. That might have been the most I had ever heard him talk, Johnny doesn't usually say much. You can see everything in his eyes, though. If you look closely its all there, and that's how we understand each other. I stayed standing up, leaning against the tree. I can't fall asleep. I can't fall asleep like I did last night.
I suddenly look over at Johnny, he's sitting up now, resting on his elbows and looking at me. "How did you do it?" I ask him suddenly.
"Huh?" he cocks his head, obviously confused.
"How the hell did you make all those Socs quit drowning me without hurting one of them?" I ask, quivering at the recent memory.
"I don't know Ponyboy I just… they just all went away suddenly. I felt someone watching me, but I turned around and nobody was there." He shrugged and stared at me, waiting for a response. I just sighed and slumped down, holding my head in my hands. I can feel his nervous gaze resting on me, and a few minutes later I stand up.
"I gotta head home, I can't fall asleep here two nights in a row. I'll see ya later Johnnycakes, are you sure you don't wanna come back to the house to sleep?" I turn back and look at him carefully. In response he gives me a small smile and shakes his head, his shaggy bangs falling over his eyes. I just shrug in response, and turn back towards home, kicking a rock as I go.
I arrive back at my house a few minutes later, but freeze when I see the bathroom light on. I know Darry will kill me if he knows I went out at this hour, especially after what all happened last night. He was really angry at me when I first came back from falling asleep in the lot, but after I went out for a few hours and almost drowned he cut me some slack. I know he's still pretty mad though. I shut the door silently and move to the kitchen, deciding if it is Darry I'll just say I was getting a drink of water or something.
I hear the sound of water coming from the bathroom, and my mind takes me back to last night. The laughing of the Socs, the water filling my mouth and nose, the feelings of desperation. I close my eyes and lean against the refrigerator, taking deep breaths. I hear a Soc laugh in my ear, and the next thing I know I'm on the floor with Darry and Soda looking down at me.
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