I found this file on my computer from a year or two ago. It wasn't written seriously and was actually written during an msn conversation where we were discussing what they used for hair gel we eventually decided upon sticks that they tied there hair too.

"Gan Ning, what is taking you so long, we have to go defeat that enemy officer!" Lu Meng cried.

"Gimme a minute!" Gan Ning shouted in response as he hurriedly tied his hair to sticks to create the perfect spikes.

"We don't have a minute! Sun Quan could be dead by now for all we know!" Lu Meng answered in horror but the other officer refused to come out and fight until he had finished his hair.

"He'll live." Gan Ning grunted.

"Or Die." Lu Xun added as he appeared for no particular reason.

"Aren't you supposed to be on the battlefield?" Lu Meng questioned at the appearance of the hat-wearing boy. "Strategically burning something."

"Ergh, fine, just cause you're so picky Meng." Gan Ning grumbled as he exited the room with his hair only half finished causing Lu Xun to gasp.

"You can't go out looking like that Ning!" Lu Xun squealed while giving his mentor a serious look. "I'm sure Quan can survive for a few moments without us."

"What is wrong with your hair pirate?!" Ling Tong half-shouted half-squealed because it seems everybody squeals when they see his half-ruined hair. Meanwhile Lu Meng was beating his head against the nearest wall while trying to figure out who was actually on the battlefield since it seemed everybody was here.

"Prime Minister!" Jiang Wei gasped as he rushed in the room causing the Wu Officers to stare at him blankly. "Wrong story?" He asked nervously while backing from the room as if they would rip his heads of at any minute.

"Where is my weapon!" Sun Ce cried as he appeared on the scene once again all the Wu Officers stared at the arrival blankly.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" Lu Meng gasped while wondering if he was just edging into insanity. "And for heaven sake Ning FIX YOUR HAIR!" He squealed at the pirate whose hair was spiky on one side and flat on the other.

Hope you liked it, most of the characters are OOC, I know. Maybe one day I'll write it seriously. Not finished and will eventually become longer...maybe. The characters don't belong to me.

Astericks x