Breathe in.
You can do this.
Exhale.
It's going to be okay. You'll be fine.
Just don't forget to breathe.
A cold sweat breaks out across my forehead and over my upper lip. Seriously! I'm a grown woman. Why does this bother me so much? Why do I care what others think?
I grab a Kleenex and blot my face to keep from ruining my makeup which has been painstakingly applied by Alice. I can only imagine the trouble I'll be in if I show up with my makeup smeared or blotched! It's an unforgiveable sin. Pausing in front of the mirror I run my hands down the sides of my dress and give a little tug pretending I can actually make it longer.
This is what I get for letting Alice take charge. Makeup, short dresses and heels. Completely the opposite of everything I am. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. Flip-flops and slides are my go to footwear. I hate shopping, loathe "going out", and am a complete social introvert. The few friends I have are trying to help me overcome these "issues".
I twist my body and look over my shoulder to make sure that the rear view is no less respectable than the front. I'm not used to my legs being so exposed. An errant thought crosses my mind and I ignore it. What's the use? I'll have to trust Alice's sense of fashion over my better judgment tonight. Turning back around, I run my fingertips across the delicate necklace that lies over my collarbone. It's too pretty for me. I can't do it justice.
I inspect my hair. Every strand is strategically coiffed by Alice's arsenal of tools and products. My usual "do" is a ponytail; quick and easy. No way was Alice settling for a ponytail tonight. I can't believe this is really my hair. I've never seen it shine or encompass so much body. She is uber talented, that Alice.
I sigh in resignation and turn away, stopping to grab my clutch on the way out. The taxi is already waiting downstairs. I lock up, toss the key in my clutch, and pray the elevator is empty. Lord knows if my neighbors see me dressed like this I'll never hear the end of it.
Luck is my friend tonight. The elevator is empty and in no time I find myself reluctantly giving the address of tonight's festivities to the cabbie.
I utilize the cab ride to get my bearings, to remind myself to just enjoy the moment. Have fun. I haven't been out just for fun since the late '80's! Tonight is the beginning of a New Me.
I married James right out of high school with stars in my eyes and dreams of the perfect family. We were going to live happily ever after – a beautiful house in suburbia, 2.5 kids, the ideal soccer mom and coach dad. I'm amazed at how long it took me to realize our goals were different.
It turned out that his dream consisted of working up the corporate ladder, doing whatever it took, stepping on whoever was in the way, constantly pushing and probing to get to the top. I got stepped on and left behind as soon as the new red-headed CEO flexed her perfectly manicured fingers and offered him incentives I couldn't compete with.
By the time I figured out what was going on, we had been living separate lives for months. 23 years down the drain. The only good that came out of our union was 3 beautiful children, all of whom made it through the divorce surprisingly intact. I credit myself with that bit of fortune.
My oldest daughter, Bree, is happily married and lives in San Antonio, Texas on the Air Force Base where she and her husband are stationed. Her twin brother, my only son, Riley, is making a name for himself in the lucrative world of finance. Leah, the baby, is a sophomore in college studying marine biology. Hell yes, I'm proud!
It's been a couple of years since the divorce and the girls convinced me that it was time to pick up and move on. It's time to live MY life. Time to do what feels right for ME. So, here I am, all dressed up and careening towards my future. Well, towards Angelo Bella's, a local bistro, where I am going to enjoy my first girl's night out in too many years!
The cabbie pulls to the curb and I pay him. As he pulls away I turn, take a deep breath, and searching for a courage I don't possess, I pull open the heavy wooden door and step across the threshold.
Angelo Bella's is renowned for its world wide collection of fine wines and beers as well as its delectable cuisine. Owned and managed by Eric & Angela Yorkie, whom I have known and loved since high school, it has been dubbed the "heartbeat" of Port Angeles.
Eric earned his degree at the Volturi Institute of Culinary and Pastry Art in Italy while Angela majored in Business and Finance in Seattle. They married as soon as he returned from Italy and used their life savings to open the extremely successful bistro.
From the outside, Angelo Bella's is unassuming, squeezed between a used book store and an herbal restorative emporium in a previously abandoned brick warehouse in downtown.
Inside, aged stone walls rise from intricately tiled floors. Vaulted ceilings drip with iron chandeliers creating a soft ambiance. Marble columns connected by arches surround the central dining room/dance floor. A variety of iron and wood tables and chairs are sprinkled along the perimeter of the room leaving the center open for the live band and dancing.
Private rooms branch off behind the columns, hidden behind massive wooden doors, and can be reserved for more intimate affairs. The bar is breathtaking with its burnished mahogany, marble and mirrors.
I step inside and it feels as though I have been transported to a far away land. It fills me with an air of confidence that I have lacked all day. I lift my chin, throw my shoulders back and stride into the dining hall with a determination I did not know I had within.
My eyes scan the room and Angela catches my eye, waving at me from the other end of the room. She gestures towards my left and I turn and see my girls seated, waiting for me. It appears that I am the last to arrive.