A/N: This is dedicated to my bud Amelia who told me some of this stuff….
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters!
Darth Vader and Yoda are eating lunch off the set of Star Wars.
Yoda: Good sandwich, this is.
DV: I prefer Twinkies.
Y: Fear leads to anger, anger leads to stress, stress leads to Twinkies, lead to becoming very fat.
Luke walks in and looks to Yoda and bows
L: Wassup????
Y: Luke, something to tell you, I have. Luke, I lied. You have absolutely no force ability. The only reason I took you in is because I thought you rich, but so far, you haven't paid me.
DV: Luke I also have something to tell you. I am your mother's sister's uncle's aunt's sister in law's boyfriend's father.
L: Wha- you mean all this time I-I-I-…Then who is my father?
Y: Luke, I am your father. Just call me pop master from now on.
Luke turns to Yoda and gives him a big hug.
L: Papa!!!
DV: Want to see pictures of my kids?
L and Y: You have kids?
DV: Well, excuuuuuuuuuse me!
L: But Princess Lea is my sister right?
DV: Yeah and Luke, tell your sister to rethink that hair style cause... geeze its bad
Y: A hair problem, she has. And you Luke, a problem with losing things, you have. Your hand, for example…
Luke rubs where his real hand should be and glares at Vader.
DV: Look, I'm sorry about your hand already! Can't you take a joke?!
L: Thanks a lot. You and your breathing problem…
DV: What's so funny? I have asthma! Hey… has anyone seen my inhaler?
While Darth Vader begins to search for his inhaler, Luke reaches for his light saber…
Y: Luke, I know Darth Vader really has you annoyed, but remember if you kill him then you'll be unemployed.
L: But, I can do anything with the force.
Y: Listen, you don't. THE FORCE THE FORCE what the heck can you do with the force? NOTHING! I made up all that stuff about the Force. I really had you goin' though didn't I?
Darth Vader looks up, hearing this comment.
DV: Go ahead! Have no faith in the Force! See if I care!
L: But Yoda, Obi-Wan always said…
Y: Remember all that stuff Obi-Wan taught you? Forget it.
L: But…
DV: Luke stop whining, you're giving me a headache!
L: You mean you can actually hear under that helmet?
DV: I'm not only the president of the helmet club for men; I'm also a client!!
Yoda walks over to Darth Vader and knocks on his helmet.
Y: Can you hear this pretty boy?
DV: Yes, and it does hurt when you knock on my helmet.
Yoda slaps his forehead
Y: Doh!
Luke doubles over laughing… Yoda would double over, but since he is so short, he falls over.
DV: I'll get you my pretty, and your little Jedi Yoda too!
Yoda gets up and tries to stop laughing… and succeeds only long enough to say…
Y: Life is like a box uh' chocolates...
… then falls over again. Luke stands back up and walks over to Darth Vader.
L: Let's take this outside fat man!
Y: We cannot kill Vader; he still owes me 10 altarian bucks for a giant ice cream when he was 9!
DV: I owe you nothing! I paid that back to you! And black is slimming, right? RIGHT?
L: Apparently not.
Y: (laughing) Here come the men in black…
DV: Ok Yoda… bring out your light saber. You are going down!
Luke steps back. Not wanting to lose his other hand. Yoda brings out his light saber.
Y: I'm a green mean force-machine.
Darth Vader brings out his light saber too.
DV: So you do believe in the force!
Y: No. Lied, I did.
DV: Before I kill you, I want to know… why do you always talk like that?
Y: Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes!
DV: Just so you know… My Light saber's automatic...systematic...obi- matic...why, it's Greased Lightning!
Y: Bring it on fat boy!
As you can guess, Darth Vader and Yoda break into a light saber battle. It lasts for five minute's when all of a sudden, both light sabers suddenly fade out.
DV: Time out! My light saber ran out of batteries!
Y: Mine too! Anyone got any AA batteries for my light saber?
Luke runs over and hands them batteries.
L: Can we call it a tie and just save it for the movie?
DV: Good idea. You aren't totally stupid young one. When I kill Yoda, I want everybody to know!
Y: You mean when I kill you!
Darth Vader and Yoda continue arguing over who will kill who.
L: I wish Lucas would give Star Wars the "Police Academy" approach...
In walks an ewok.
Ewok: Superkalifragilisticexpeealladocious...
A/N: Thank you to my sister for helping me organize this mess!
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters!
Darth Vader and Yoda are eating lunch off the set of Star Wars.
Yoda: Good sandwich, this is.
DV: I prefer Twinkies.
Y: Fear leads to anger, anger leads to stress, stress leads to Twinkies, lead to becoming very fat.
Luke walks in and looks to Yoda and bows
L: Wassup????
Y: Luke, something to tell you, I have. Luke, I lied. You have absolutely no force ability. The only reason I took you in is because I thought you rich, but so far, you haven't paid me.
DV: Luke I also have something to tell you. I am your mother's sister's uncle's aunt's sister in law's boyfriend's father.
L: Wha- you mean all this time I-I-I-…Then who is my father?
Y: Luke, I am your father. Just call me pop master from now on.
Luke turns to Yoda and gives him a big hug.
L: Papa!!!
DV: Want to see pictures of my kids?
L and Y: You have kids?
DV: Well, excuuuuuuuuuse me!
L: But Princess Lea is my sister right?
DV: Yeah and Luke, tell your sister to rethink that hair style cause... geeze its bad
Y: A hair problem, she has. And you Luke, a problem with losing things, you have. Your hand, for example…
Luke rubs where his real hand should be and glares at Vader.
DV: Look, I'm sorry about your hand already! Can't you take a joke?!
L: Thanks a lot. You and your breathing problem…
DV: What's so funny? I have asthma! Hey… has anyone seen my inhaler?
While Darth Vader begins to search for his inhaler, Luke reaches for his light saber…
Y: Luke, I know Darth Vader really has you annoyed, but remember if you kill him then you'll be unemployed.
L: But, I can do anything with the force.
Y: Listen, you don't. THE FORCE THE FORCE what the heck can you do with the force? NOTHING! I made up all that stuff about the Force. I really had you goin' though didn't I?
Darth Vader looks up, hearing this comment.
DV: Go ahead! Have no faith in the Force! See if I care!
L: But Yoda, Obi-Wan always said…
Y: Remember all that stuff Obi-Wan taught you? Forget it.
L: But…
DV: Luke stop whining, you're giving me a headache!
L: You mean you can actually hear under that helmet?
DV: I'm not only the president of the helmet club for men; I'm also a client!!
Yoda walks over to Darth Vader and knocks on his helmet.
Y: Can you hear this pretty boy?
DV: Yes, and it does hurt when you knock on my helmet.
Yoda slaps his forehead
Y: Doh!
Luke doubles over laughing… Yoda would double over, but since he is so short, he falls over.
DV: I'll get you my pretty, and your little Jedi Yoda too!
Yoda gets up and tries to stop laughing… and succeeds only long enough to say…
Y: Life is like a box uh' chocolates...
… then falls over again. Luke stands back up and walks over to Darth Vader.
L: Let's take this outside fat man!
Y: We cannot kill Vader; he still owes me 10 altarian bucks for a giant ice cream when he was 9!
DV: I owe you nothing! I paid that back to you! And black is slimming, right? RIGHT?
L: Apparently not.
Y: (laughing) Here come the men in black…
DV: Ok Yoda… bring out your light saber. You are going down!
Luke steps back. Not wanting to lose his other hand. Yoda brings out his light saber.
Y: I'm a green mean force-machine.
Darth Vader brings out his light saber too.
DV: So you do believe in the force!
Y: No. Lied, I did.
DV: Before I kill you, I want to know… why do you always talk like that?
Y: Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes!
DV: Just so you know… My Light saber's automatic...systematic...obi- matic...why, it's Greased Lightning!
Y: Bring it on fat boy!
As you can guess, Darth Vader and Yoda break into a light saber battle. It lasts for five minute's when all of a sudden, both light sabers suddenly fade out.
DV: Time out! My light saber ran out of batteries!
Y: Mine too! Anyone got any AA batteries for my light saber?
Luke runs over and hands them batteries.
L: Can we call it a tie and just save it for the movie?
DV: Good idea. You aren't totally stupid young one. When I kill Yoda, I want everybody to know!
Y: You mean when I kill you!
Darth Vader and Yoda continue arguing over who will kill who.
L: I wish Lucas would give Star Wars the "Police Academy" approach...
In walks an ewok.
Ewok: Superkalifragilisticexpeealladocious...
A/N: Thank you to my sister for helping me organize this mess!