Not Satan Himself
I wrote this when I found out my aunt had cancer in August. I never posted it, but I never understood why I didn't until this morning when I found out she passed away. In August they had given her only a few months, she survived for ten. This story is something I had hoped would never see the light of day, but it is.
Dedicated specifically to my aunt, affectionately dubbed Pee-Wee, Rest in Peace, you're still my fave. Also dedicated to my cousins J.P. and Kristen, my Uncle Randy, the rest of my family and anyone else who has had a similar experience.
Warnings: Un-betad
People call me a malicious, vengeful man.
"Mokuba?"
But there is something even I would never wish upon my worst enemies.
"Mokuba?"
Why?
"N-nii-sama?"
Because God only knows that it is destroying me.
"Hey, how are you feeling?"
Mokuba smiles weakly, "I-I've been better."
I give a quiet chuckle in spite of the pain that shaky smile causes me. It should be wide and bright and honest, not flickering in and out of existence while trying to mask the pain I know he feels.
"How are you doing, Seto?"
"I'm fine," I manage somehow.
He scowls, "No you're not. I know you're not."
"Never could hide anything from you, could I?"
"No," he reaches a hand out and I clasp it in a vain half-hope that I can anchor him here, to me. "You're gonna be okay, you know."
"No I'm not. Not without…" but I can't finish my sentence. Saying it would make it real. If I don't say it I can try and fool myself a little longer.
"You will," Mokuba says confidently, "You're stronger than you think. I know you are."
I shake my head, "If I was strong enough-"
"This would have happened anyway, it's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault."
Some part of me still feels as though I'm to blame, I can't look at him as the traitorous thought steals into my mind.
"Nii-sama, look at me." His voice is firm even if his body isn't; I look at him. God, he looks so fragile, like a china figurine. "You did everything you could, Seto. Everything you did, you did right; it's not your fault."
"I'm still sorry, Mokie, I feel like there should have been-"
"But there wasn't. There's nothing else you can do but what you're doing right now."
I smile a bit -he always did know the right thing to say- and grip his hand just a bit tighter.
"I'm so proud of you, Seto," he says after a moment.
Anyone else would have thought such a statement odd, coming from the younger brother but I know why he said it. It was only Mokuba's opinion that mattered to me; it's still the only one that matters.
"I'm proud of you too."
"And I love you, Nii-sama."
"I love you too, Mokuba, I'm tiring you out aren't I?"
He chuckles, "A bit."
"Get some sleep, otouto-chan, I'll be right here."
"Mmmkay, good night, Seto," he murmurs.
"Good night, Mokuba."
He closes his eyes and exhales slowly, Beeeeeeeee-
I lean over and press a soft kiss against his forehead, "Good night, Mokuba." My vision blurs and the next thing I know, I'm kneeling next to the bed, sobbing as the doctors try to pry my hand from around my little brother's.
They call me a malicious man, a vengeful man, but this is something I would not wish upon Satan himself.
-OWARI-