Part 3 of the doube trilogy plus one this one goes to the song never too late by three days grace.
Disclaimer:I own nothing.

Near sat in the exact place he was in almost three years prior, in another 45 minutes, 35…34…33 seconds, it would be three years. The same place he had watched Matt walk out of his life with Mello. Gritting his teeth the albino watched out the window hoping that the ginger would return but no such luck. The day passed slowly to the boy as he absently twirled his hair, a habit that he formed since Matt had left, to pass the time.
It was about ten o'clock at night before the boy couldn't take trying to figure out what he had done to drive the red-head away.

*I watched him, Matt the one I held close to my heart, walk out of my life and what did I do….nothing absolutely nothing; well that's a lie I did do something, and that only pushed him further away.
What did I do you may ask…I kissed him, yes you heard me right I kissed him but only after I ,unsuccessful, tried to reason with him…so I confessed to him that I loved him and then I kissed him. What did he do after that you may ask, well he ran. He ran right back to the one that I was trying to save him from.
Where did I go wrong at…? Where? Now all I have left to hope for is the letters that I left for him, and now all that I have left to remember him by is his smile that's burned into my brain.*

-FLASH BACK-
~no point of view~
"Matt get the hell out now" yelled the angry blonde as he entered their shared room. The red-head complied and rushed out of the room only to be tripped on his stomach thus winding him and aggregating his ribs- by the said blonde on the way out. Matt stood and exited the room holding his already abused ribs.
Matt stopped a few doors down from his and Mello's room for when Mello needed him. "Matt I know you're there. Why don't you come in…I have something to tell you." Matt jumped at the voice since he did not realize that he was standing next to Near's door.

The red-head then reluctantly entered the room, looking behind him if the blonde decided to make a surprise appearance.

"Matt, Mello is not here you don't have to worry."

"Matt are you okay you seem to be in pain…are your ribs okay?"

Matt nods and regretfully removes his hands from the tender area while trying to stand up straight without doubling over in pain.

"Yeah Near I'm fine there's nothing to worry about…so what do you have to tell me?" Matt asked

"I was wondering if you are okay since I've noticed that you keep coming into class with new cuts and bruises every day for the last few months. Is there anyone bullying you or picking on you that I should know about?" Near asked as he sat down on the bay window seat and motioned for Matt to take the seat next to him.

Matt shook his head 'no' before making his way over to the offered seat.
"Will you listen to what I have to say Matt, and listen to all of it before you make any assumptions? I know that you might not think what I'm telling you is true, but you might want to hear me out before this gets any worse for you."
The red-head nodded and waited for the albino to continue.

"It all started the day that you arrived here at the orphanage and on that day Mello and I vowed to have you as our own and I think that we took it a little too far by wagering your friendship over multiple games throughout the years. Once we started to play these games I noticed that Mello became more competitive but I would have never thought that he would hurt you….I'm sorry for -"

"WAIT?! So what you're saying is that you and Mello were fighting over me like some toy and you didn't even think to ask my opinion on this!"

"Matt wait I-"

"No Near, you're right I don't believe you since I know that Mello would not stoop that low and bet me like some toy." Matt stood a little too quickly but gritted his teeth and went to walk to the door only to stop when the albino spoke again.

"Matt I know what Mello is doing and, it's not going to change. I don't want you to get hurt anymore."
"No Near. Mello loves me he only does what he does because I don't listen to him."

Near shakes his head "Matt he doesn't care about you…. I don't like seeing you cry and covering bruises with makeup just so that no one else see the abuse that he inflicts upon you! Don't you see Matt you should leave Mello before he hurts you and I can't save the one I love - you." near caught himself not truly ready for Matt to know that he loved the ginger more than anything else in the world.

Matt blinked trying to ward off angry tears and to understand what the other had just said "What did you just say?"

Near bit his lip and sighed "I said that you should leave Mello."

"Near I mean after that, what did you say?" asked the redhead

"You mean when I said that I can't save you anymore." Near said coyly.

"NO Near, I mean the part about you saying love." Matt stated quite annoyed.

"You… Matt I-I I don't know how to say this…but maybe this would explain it better."

Matt watched as Near stood and crossed the room pausing to gently grab his shoulders and stand on the tops of his toes to plant a single chaste kiss upon his lips that only lasted a moment but it felt like an eternity.
Matt pulled away stumbling backwards "N-Near why.…..

~Back to the present~
Nate sighed as his memories repeated last part of that encounter over and over like a broken movie. Matt pushed him away and ran from the room as though he was burned. Each time the image got more and more distorted. The albino slowly stood from where he was sitting in his room and walked aimlessly around the house stopping once to retrieve an item from one of the rooms. Exiting that room he walked until he reached his destination. Stepping on to the cool white tiles of the bathroom connected to his room, he quickly made his way to the bathtub after closing and locking the door. Turning the knobs the water started to flow. Near adjusted the water so that it ran cooler than what one would use for an actual bath.
*So this is how you're dealing with me leaving, huh?* a light voice echoed off the tiled walls.
"Matt?" the albino looked around the empty but neat room. Not another soul was there, not that anyone would even be awake at this hour.
*Some genius you are, who else would be here this late at night trying to talk to you* sneered another much deeper voice. The albino glimpsed a flash of yellow in the mirror above the sink. Walking over to it he saw the blonde in the reflection.
*I mean seriously what kinda idiot would even attempt this other than you sheep.* the blonde taunted
"Shut up Mello. It's your fault that I'm doing this in the first place. You took the only thing that I ever wanted away from me."
* So it's my fault for not just handing it over to you just like everyone else does. You truly are pitiful. You never had to try for anything in your whole life, like I had to.*
Near blinked a couple of times before looking down "you're not real you're just an illusion created by my mind to make me second guess myself so that I will not do this. You're nothing more than a survival instinct."
*Psh… leave it to you to break everything down into logic. So why are you imagining me if I would only push you to do this even more. Wouldn't it make more sense to hear the one that you are in love with try to talk you out of your own death? Hm?*
"Mello makes a valid point, but I think that my mind believes that you are an unfinished rivalry that I would choose over the current situation."
*There you go again….whatever sheep. I don't have time for this but since you'll be out of the picture permanently. I can finally have Matt all to myself without worrying about him sneaking behind my back with you, later.*
The albino watched the image disappear only to show his own image. White curls hung flat and greasy upon his head and dark bags that rivaled L's surrounded dull grey eyes. His normally pale skin looked paste and shallow under the florescent lighting of the all white bathroom. To sum it up he looked like hell.
Near looked away too disgusted with how he looked. 'No wonder why Matt chose Mello over me.' He thought as a wave of self loathing washed over him upon seeing his image again.
Glass shattered and some fell in jagged pieces into the sink and others onto the floor. Near paused and looked at the fist that was still lodged into the ruined mirror. Silent sobs racked his small figure as he pulled his injured hand to his chest. This continued for a few moments until he felt something cool puddle around his feet. Looking up he saw the bath over flowing panicking he rushed over and turned the water off.
Looking at the tub the albino knew that it was time to complete his task. Near bent over and picked up a piece of the broken mirror that had scattered to where he was standing. Smiling slightly to himself he raised the sleeve of his pink tinged pajama top to show his pale unmarred wrist. Biting his lip he made a slash on his wrist that poured out blood the same color as Matt's crimson locks. This gave Near an idea; he moved the mirror fragment across his skin a few more time and stopped to admire his handy work. Upon his arm written rather crudely was Matt's name.
*Near…why?* the light voice said
Shaking the boy dropped the mirror piece and looked up to see Matt leaning against the wall in front of the free-standing tub.
"Matt…." The albino whispered toward the image in a state of shock that soon morphed into anger.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"

*to be truthful it looks like you're being stupid. I would never think that someone like you would do something like this.*

"Well it's your fault Matt. If you didn't leave then I would not have felt like my life was over." Near replied to image as he stepped toward the tub and got in completely clothed.
*how is it my fault it's not like I wanted to leave in the first place. You should know that since you were ease dropping and hiding in Mello's and my room. You thought that I didn't notice. Well it's kinda hard to not notice when I kept finding your toys and puzzles hidden under my bed.*

"Well you could have come back I waited two almost three years for you to come back, but you never did. In another four minutes it will be three years. In two and a half minutes of that time I will have completed what I have started" the Albino sighed out "so if you have anything to say to me say it quickly."
The image of Matt watched as the albino pull a pair of orange goggles from his pajama pants before sitting down inside the tub, letting his marred arm laid in the cold water. Nate shivered from the temperature as he clutched the goggles to his chest, but soon relaxed when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a voice whisper in his ear.
*I know I can't talk you out of this but at least listen to me I'm here now. It's not too late for us to be together just don't give up. Don't let Mello win because…I love you. I chose you from the beginning I had to follow Mello since he won albeit he cheated. Near there is still time and all you have to do is relax and get out of the tub.* Matt spoke from behind the boy.
"No Matt…I can't do that. You're right Mello won but I can't…I can't get out of the tub…." Near said as he slid completely under water unable to stay alert any more as the water turned even redder.
Nate at this point started to feel disconnected from his body as images flashed before his eyes.

"Hey Why don't you pick on someone your own size and leave him alone" said a red-haired boy as he held the fist of a raging blonde. The boy behind him stared wide-eyed at his protector as a warm feeling spread throughout his chest.

L what is this feeling?" the white-haired boy asked. L smiled to him and said, "Nate that feeling is called love and the boy's name is Matt.

Matt smiled "So Near do you want to hang out with me since some psycho short-tempered blonde girl just took my Gameboy?"

"Matt watch out" the albino yelled as a soccer ball connected with said boy's head thus knocking him over. "Sorry…I didn't mean to kick it that hard."
"It's okay Near no harm done" the red-head laughed

"Matt is not just some trinket that you can take claim to, Mello, he's a living human being and he has the will to choose who he wants and from where I'm standing I believe that he would choose me"

"You… Matt I-I I don't know how to say this…" Near stuttered as he closed the distanced between them, and pressed his lips gently to Matt's for a moment before pulling away.
The images faded to nothing but darkness.

Rodger rushed into Nears room he heard the sound of breaking glass and had checked almost every room in the orphanage the only rooms not checked were the unoccupied ones and Near. The older man rushed to the bathroom door and tried to open it but it was locked. He quickly with drew the skeleton key that opened every room in the house and proceeded to unlock and open the door.
Once done he all but froze when he saw the child slide under the red water. Rushing forward he grabbed the boy from the water and laid him on the ground mindful of the mirror fragments. Fishing his phone out, he called the paramedics as he checked Near. Luckily he was breathing but was still bleeding badly. As he waited for the medics Rodger wrapped the gashes on the boy's arm with a towel to try to stop the bleeding. Minutes later the medics arrived and took Near to the hospital.
*Near…Near time to wake up.* the voice said. The albino mumbled unintelligently refusing to stir from the warmness that surrounded him.
*that was pretty stupid of you to do Nate. You could have died* the voice continued. The smell of cigarette smoke drifted into Near's senses, the same kind that Matt smokes.
At this Near opened his eyes only to see that he was in an unfamiliar room. A hand on his shoulder made to boy look to see who it was. Sitting beside him was Rodger who looked relieved to see him awake "that was pretty stupid to do Nate you could have died if I had not found you. What caused you to do such a thing?" the elderly man said.
Near sighed in slight disappointment, it was not who he wanted to see. The old man took this as a sign as he finally pieced the mystery together. "You miss him don't you Nate. You miss Matt." This was not a question but rather a statement.
The boy nodded. "Near you know what you have to do. You may be smart but when it comes to emotions you are as clueless as Mello. I'll arrange a flight to L.A. for you when you are discharged from the hospital." The man said tenderly to the young man that he thought of as his own.
"Why a flight to Los Angles?" the boy questioned
"That is where Mello took Matt. I thought that you would want to find Matt, I may be old but I'm not blind to how you young ones feel. Also Mello didn't cover his trail that well when he left. He hacked my computer and credit card to get the airline tickets." Rodger finished as the doctor came in to check on his patient's arm that was healing rather well. As the doctor left the room he told Rodger that Nate could leave the next day.
Rodger nodded and left the boy half an hour later.
*So you coming to find me?* Matt asked as he leaned against the wall smoking a cigarette.
"Yeah I'm coming to find you and I won't give you up once I have you no matter what." Near replied as he took the pen and paper that he had Rodger bring him before he left and started writing.
Near left the hospital the next day and headed to the post office and mailed a handful of letters addressed to a building on the outskirts of L.A. hoping that one would reach Matt by the time he was settled into the house that he owned half an hour away from where Mello and Matt were living .
Near had lived in California for a couple of months and still no word from Matt. He had sent dozens of letters a week to the address after confirming that Matt was indeed living there. Near even went as far as hiring people to infiltrate the gang and find out Intel on the ginger's well-being only to find out that Mello still had not changed ….
Near had finally had enough and called Matt. They talked for less than a minute, not enough time to say anything other than did you get my letters, until Mello came into the room and Matt had to hang up so Mello would not know.
Near sighed but would not give up, not yet at least.

~Matt's point of view~
#this is a review of what has happened in the 3 years to Matt since he left#

I look out the window of the plane as I watched it land in the Los Angeles airport. *'I can't help but wonder why I left the orphanage. Leaving Near right there in that room, probably crying his eyes out, all by himself with a broken heart, but why should I care when that stupid little- wait I'm starting to sound like Mello….wait Mello. Oh, yeah that's why I'm here it's because of him waking me up in the middle of the night telling me to pack before we leave. Leave to where…L.A. the place where the L.A. BB murder cases took place and it was the only case where L -Mello's role model- actually took without waiting until it totaled ten murders. Why….why did I come here.' I stood and followed my 'boyfriend' as we exited the plane.*

I watched the months pass as we started our lives over in this new place. You decided that you wanted to be better than everyone…so you joined the mafia, quickly excelling through the ranks, dragging me along with you. I never wanted this life and now that I've seen it, it has only proven my point. I watched you change from a slightly temperamental chocolate loving guy to an aggressive violent killing machine.

I didn't mind you being moody from time to time but when you add that with alcohol and drugs… well let's just say what you have done in the pass to me pales in comparison. The outside of my body is covered in bruises, cuts, bullets, and glass shards from your recent mood swing, caused by you taking some type of drug that caused you to see hallucinations of Near. I only know this because…well I know that you meant well. I wish that I actually paid attention to what Near had said…it might have turned out better.